You Always…

“What do I ‘always…’?” Being déjà vu all over again, Frank had to interrupt Shannon, his wife.

“You know…”

Frank countered her standard jab. “You always say that offering no evidence.”

Pulling at her coat, Shannon watched a flock of gulls soar over the lake. A gust of wind ruffled her hair.

Almost to herself, she said, “So this is it.”

He savored the quiet.

Memories filled her head. She said, “I love this park.”

“This is where it all began.”

“Is that why we came here?” His motives always confused her.

“Full circle.”

Shannon sighed. “A good run.”

“While it lasted.”

“Only place we spent more time was our Mexican café.”

He nodded. There were no more words.

Frank pulled the divorce decree from his jacket pocket. “Guess we should do this so you can go.”

He walked to the bench where they first sat together. She followed at an uncomfortable distance.

Spreading the papers onto the wooden slats, he weighed them down with his pen. Standing back, he granted her access.

Looking at the papers, but not moving, Shannon said, “It seems awfully final.”

Wind tipped the papers up. The pen rolled to one side. Lunging, Frank grabbed them before they scattered.

“Whew!” He chuckled. “Embarrassing.”

Returning the papers to the bench, he set the pen back on top of them.

Accepting the inevitable, Shannon relaxed. “I’m glad we’re getting this done.”

Frank nodded.

She added, “I’m all packed. Moving out of state.”

Frank stared. “What?”

“Is there a problem with that?”

He tried to cover his dismay. “Well, I hoped we’d still see each other. We’re amicable, right? Not like we hate each other.”

“Pulling out the old, ‘can we still be friends?’ bit? We’re getting divorced, Frank… Need a fresh start.”

Frank felt dizzy. “I’m sorry… But without me?”

“Yeah. Well… kind of implied by the word ‘divorce…’”

“I thought we were parting ways, but…”

“It’s not ‘parting of ways,’ Frank. It’s a divorce. You’ve heard the song…?” Shannon began to sing. “D-I-V-…”

Frank waved his hands for silence. “Yeah. Yeah, I get it…”

“Like the man said, ‘I will not serve papers before their time…’ Or something like that…”

“I said I get it. ‘Road less traveled’ and all that… ’Sheesh!”

“Slow brewed… A long time coming… Like Jessica.”

Frank slumped. “Really? Again? You’re still on that?”

“You mean ‘that which ruined everything’? Yeah…”

“Oh, I remember… You mean that which only happened in your delusions… what, three years ago?”

“Three years, four months and…”

“Whenever. Nothing happened. Ever.”

She threw her hands up. “You don’t understand! It meant nothing…!”

“You could have a video of it and see we never even touched. But wait! There couldn’t be a video of something that never happened… Not with Jessica. Not with anyone.”

“Uh huh…”

“And I apologized… for the misperception, four thousand, eight hundred and seventy-three times… I’m sorry. Make that seventy-four.”

“You kept a tally? Not a million yet…?”

“Almost there… But you hung onto it because you wanted out.”

“And why did I want out?”

“You tell me. This obsession of yours brought us here today. Sign the friggin papers already. I’m done.”

Shannon crossed her arms and turned away. Venting his frustration, he flapped his arms.

Unseen by them, a gust of wind lifted the decree. The pen rolled onto the ground.

Frank stepped up behind her. “Shannon, I hope someday you’ll realize it was always you.”

She turned. “You’re blaming me?”

“No. Try to understand. Please… It was never Jessica, or anyone. No one but you. Nothing happened between her and me because I always loved you.”

She scoffed. “You’re serious? Then why did you push for a divorce?”

Frank sighed. “You wore it out. Exhausted me. I stopped caring. You couldn’t accept the truth.”

“So, you do blame me.”

“Here we go again. This… this is why…”

“No, wait… You’re saying if I hadn’t obsessed about you and the bimbo… we’d be happily ever after?

Hands to his face, Frank leaned back. “I tried telling you. God knows I tried…”

The breeze carried the pages off the bench. Fluttering, they rolled toward the lake.

Shannon wanted to strangle him. She tried not to shout. “You are such a drama queen.”

Frank threw his hands up. He paced. “God! I’m tired of this. Please end it.”

“The marriage?”

“No! Not the marriage. I wanted to stay together... The accusations! How else can I end them except by this?”

Not looking, he gestured toward the bench.

Couples walking together slowed and gave them wide berth while passing. No one stopped.

Becoming aware of onlookers, Shannon calmed herself. “Well, I’ll stop now. I guess it’s over.”

Frank gave up. “Guess so.”

“Sorry it came to this. I didn’t understand.”

“Me too. Sign the decree and we’ll get our ‘fresh starts’.”

Shannon looked at the empty bench. “I signed it. You have it.”

“No…”

“Then where is it? Give it to me.”

Frank patted his jacket. “I don’t have it.”

“Not funny, Frank. Don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything. Don’t have the decree. Frisk me…”

Shannon made a face. “Then where is it?”

He pointed at the bench. “Right here, with the pen, for you to sign… Oh… Wait…”

“What?”

He retrieved the pen from under the bench and held it up.

“Here’s the pen… But the papers…?”

“Did your lawyer, the squirrel, take them?”

Frank couldn’t help but laugh. “That would be funny, if…”

Shannon pointed at the lake. “Look!”

The papers lay fluttering at the water’s edge.

A gull swooped down and plucked them up in its beak just before Frank reached them. Moments later, it dropped them. The pages seemed to float and soar before landing on the water with a splash. Ripples from the impact disappeared into larger waves.

Frank stopped. With mixed emotions he and Shannon exchanged glances.

He slipped his jacket off. “Fish them out? How deep you think it is?”

“Forget ‘em. Doubt the court accepts soggy.”

“Not even from tears?”

She laughed and shook her head.

“Oh, well… I’ll get a fresh copy from the court, Monday.”

“Don’t bother. I won’t sign them again.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t see myself divorced… Me? Never wanted that. It’s a scandal.”

“What are you talking about? Your parents divorced.”

“Exactly. I don’t want that. I hate division, disconnect, dissociation and rupture. So, now I’m a divorcée? Like some tawdry bimbo in a sleazy, old, Italian comedy? No thanks…”

Shannon walked to the water’s edge. The sodden papers drifted out of reach.

Frank stood beside her. He said, “We’ll have to dive back into the dating pool…”

“Dating again? Yuck.”

He looked at her. “You never signed them. If you’d signed them, you would’ve given them to me. We’re still married.”

“I did sign and give it to you. I’m going.”

“But it’s gone. Not valid ‘til it gets filed.”

“I’m not signing another. Not getting divorced again.”

“There is no again if there’s no first time.”

Shannon shut her eyes as the truth of their status washed over her.

“Still married? What can I do now? I’m packed to move. I need to go.”

Frank put his arm over her shoulder. “Stay with me.”

After a pause, she turned and kissed him. Frank returned the kiss. They embraced for a long time.

Smiling, Frank pulled back. “We need to stop doing this, Shan. My lawyer thinks I’m nuts.”

Through tears, Shannon smiled back. “We are.”

They touched foreheads.

“Hungry?”

Shannon nodded. “Let’s get lunch at our place. Split an order of Huevos Divorciados.”

He said, “I get the Verde…”

Laughing, they walked arm in arm toward their favorite restaurant.