Bad monday

I am so glad to be home! There is a song about Blue Monday, well mine has been black. I tried to unlock the door to my apartment, and the key broke off in the lock. It is now 7pm and I am exhausted. It took my buildings landlord an hour to get the lock fixed. Now all I want to do is just get out of soggy clothes and into a hot shower. Some days you should just stay in bed. This was one of them!

At 4am this morning, my alarm clock went off. I rolled over and hit the snooze button, but it wouldn't shut off. Finally, after several minutes, I just got up and unplugged it. I was barley awake and I stumbled to the bathroom. I turned on the light and the bulb blew, so there I am attempting to go to the bathroom in the dark. After a half hearted attempt to relieve myself, I went to the sink to wash up. I turned on the faucet only to find that the hot water handel wouldn't turn. The cold water worked just fine, but the hot water knob would not budge. So here I am at 4:25 am wide awake. I figure I will just get a shower and get dressed. I turn on the shower and wash off, the water is luke warm at best. The landlord said that they are working on the pipes but that has been going on for 6 months. I get cleaned up and decide not to try to shave this morning, I am afraid that if I attempt to do so in half light from my bedroom that I will cut my own throat and they will think I attempted suicide. It is only a weekend shadow, looking rough and ready shouldn't be a problem. Lots of guys grow beards these days. So here I am with a broken alarm clock, a blown light bulb, a cold water face rinse and a luke warm shower and it isn't even 5 am yet. Yeah, I am thinking of going back to bed, but I have a big meeting at 9 am.

I take a few moments to recover from the morning wake up and turn on the coffee pot as I look at the morning news for the weather. As the coffee is brewing and I am contemplating what to wear to work today. The coffee pot beeps letting me know that it is done. I pour a cup and look in my bowl, no sugar? I check the cubboard and none there either. So I just sip slowly, trying to not mind every bitter drop. I manage to catch the news while slow walking two cups of bitter swamp water. I look at the weather report, and it says that there is only a slight chance of rain this afternoon. I look at the clock and it is 6:10 am. I shut the tv off and head to my closet to get dressed. I pull out my Monday suit, I have my suits drycleaned and sort them by days. I take off my bath robe and put on clean underwear and socks. I then take the plastic off of my suit and begin to get dressed. I put on my pants and something feels off. I look in a full length mirror and I find that they are 2 inches too short. I look at the dry cleaning tag then the laundry mark in the pants. The tag says they are mine but the laundry mark tells a different story. So great, I now look like I am going wading for crayfish. This will not do. In frustration I undress and pull out my Tuesday suit, now my whole weekly wardrobe will be out of sorts.

I finish getting dressed, collect my briefcase, laptop and briefcase and head out the door. The bus is not due for another half hour, so I decided to stop into a coffee shop for a real cup of coffee. I get a cup of Columbian roast and sit at the window drinking my coffee, then it occurs to me. My metro card, I check all of my pockets and my briefcase. Then in a panic, I guzzel my hot coffee. I then head back to my apartment. Once inside, I look high and low for the card. I finally find it on my night stand where I put it on Friday. I grab it and rush back down to the bus stop. I get to the stop with a few minets to spare, then the urge hits me. I am three cups of coffee into the morning and it isn't even 7 am yet. I run back into the cafe and attempt to use the lavatory. I get into the bathroom and one lavatory is broken, some homeless guy is at the other one and somebody is in the stall . I lean back against the wall and finally the homeless guy is done. He takes his time all the while I am dancing trying to hold back the flood. He finally moves to the sink and I take his place. I unzip and look for the hole in the front of my boxer shorts. I cannot find, where is it. Oh great, I put my underwear on backwards this morning. So I finally get my shorts pulled down and relieve myself. After what seems to take an eternity, I finally finish much to my bladders relief. I pull myself back together and as I begin to step back, the autoflush kicks in. A stream of water hits and some of it splashes out onto my pants. Great, now I look like I wet myself. I go to the sink and they don't have any paper towels. Homeless bob helped himself and I am left with wet pants and wet hands. So I look at my watch and dash out of the lavatory. I get to the bus stop and thank the heavens that the driver is behind schedule. As the doors open, a woman with 5 kids lurches towards the steps, I jump in and climb up like a disgruntled badger. I hear cursing behind me!

The woman files on with her brood of chicks. One is blowing buggers and sniffling all over the place. I move as far back into the bus as I can get to avoid catching whatever the kid she is caring has. They all take over the front 2 rows of the bus. I feel like a real heel, but I have a lot to do today and am already behind the 8 ball with a dark cloud forming over my head.

The bus ride goes rather routinely; I get to the office around 8:15am. I get inside and go for the elevator, a obviously weight security guard says sorry sir, the elevators are down for repairs. So here I am, stareing at an olympic event just to get to the 28th floor. So on to the stairs I go. Good for me that I cycle 3 days a week. I get to the 28th floor and go to my office. I set up my laptop and log into the company wifi account. Suddenly I get a flash of emails. I open them one by one. The person who was doing the presentation today at the 9 am meeting is out sick. The in person meeting is now a zoom meeting and I have been assigned to make the persentation. You can guess by now that I am in utter panic mode. I have not prepared, sure I have notes from the work sessions, but I am so not ready for this!

I log into the 9 am meeting, half the participants are late, so I am delayed. They all finally show up, and I am reading off the screen notes while simultaneously looking into the camera and punching up graphs from the company server that isn't being at all cooperative today. Time goes by like cold syrup. I finish the meeting and I am sweating, I think my deodorant has failed, did I even put on dedorant this morning, I have no idea. The trial by excruiating dry material was over and my stomach was grumbling. It was too early for lunch so perhaps a lite snack. I open my desk drawer and take out a fruit bar. I am sitting back eathing while twirling a pen in my hand when I see a text prompt come up on my screen, then another and another. What is going on? Crap, I left my camera on. I am broadcasting my mind morning snack and my excellent pen twirling skills to everybody who was on the zoom meeting. I quickly close my laptop and in a desperate attempt to salvage my dignity, I just unplug it and remove the battery. It takes me nearly a half an hour to reboot it, and I have so much to do. Luckily, my action salvaged what was left of my reputation. I just sit there thinking what a dork people must think I am.

The rest of my day is pretty much a blur. The meeting is soon forgotten. I get some repost of the pen twirling episode, obviously there are people as bored as I was. 5 pm finally arrives and it cannot get here soon enough. I metaphorically clock out and pack up my stuff for the ride home. I walk outside and go to the bus stop. I sit down an a bench and wait paitently next to an old couple. The awning where there is cover is full so I am waiting on the ver late bus driver and bam, the bottom falls out. The old couple pull out matching umbreallas and I am left to soak the ever so slight down pour predicted by the weather person. I finally make it home, I break my key in the door lock. I am wet I am cold and I am hungry. What a beginning of a week.