Whats happening to Sage?

“Sage?” Dr. Jackson says and I snap out of my day dream for the first time since the class began.He’s sitting on the desk diagonal from me one foot swinging off the side the other still on the floor hands crossed on his thigh like a concerned therapist. I actually really enjoy this class and Dr. Jackson. He’s the reason I chose to Major in History after all. “Sorry Dr. Jackson I just zoned out.” Most of the students have left already, now i’m really embarrassed. “I can see that. Anything on your mind you want to talk about?” Yes! I’m depressed as hell and can’t focus on a damn thing to save my life. My day dreams are becoming so intense it feels like i’m living multiple lives and it’s seriously fucking with me!! “No, I’m fine I swear it’s just been one of those days.” I respond as I put my notebook in my bag and ready myself to leave. He gives a sympathetic nod and says “I know the feeling. How is your research coming along for your term paper? Fuckkk if I had been paying attention and left when everyone else did I would have avoided having to lie to him. “It’s going good honestly, getting to know the people of Durham and learning their history has been super interesting!” This man has the nerve to laugh in my face “You haven’t started have you?” I laugh too because how the hell did he know that? “No, I admit. But I am..this weekend! After the step show!” He turns and walks back to the podium “You have so much talent Sage and 3 weeks. Get out of my class girl.” Gladly! “Have a good one Dr. Jackson” I say over my shoulder as I head into the hallway of the Edmonds building. This is where all history and Political Science classes are taught. So of course it’s where I spend seventy percent of my time. I walk outside and find Sean on the Alpha plot, back towards me and all the other non greeks also known as GDI’s. “We know you’re greek you don’t have to spend every waking moment on the plot.” I say with my arms folded and a short distance away sure toot step on the grass surrounding their big A Phi A letters. Without looking back he says “don’t be hating.” I roll my eyes fitting being that default setting is crossed arms and a stern face. Most people find me unapproachable because of my ‘resting bitch face’ as so many people have called it. Also fitting, being that at times I am a raging bitch. I finally respond, “so are we still meeting Eli for lunch or are you going to sit there like a…” I trail off because I genuinely can’t think of a good finisher to the insult. He grabs his bag and finally walks over to me. “Like a what?” I shrug my shoulders “I couldn’t think of a insult that would do justice. Let’s go.” He laughs trailing behind me struggling close his purse. He calls it a satchel but I call it as it is, an over stuffed purse that he gives another name to justify a straight man wearing it. “You know I wont stand for being bossed around by someone who is 5’4” I can almost hear his eye roll, that made me smirk. I turn around to look at him, I have to tilt my head slightly being that he’s seven inches taller than me. “You don’t have to stand for it much longer, you’ll be sitting in two minutes when we make it to the cafeteria.” He brushes my shoulder as he walks past me. Sometime even I wonder why we’re friends, but our banter is so fun. We finally reach the cafeteria and Eli is still waiting in line so we jump in with him and ignore the people who are clearly bothered by our skipping. “Hey gang” He greets us with a smile as he always does, dude hardly ever has a bad day. He daps up Sean and gives me a hug. I’ve never been big on physical touch but he seems to enjoy hugs so I indulge him. “How was your test?” I ask him. Despite being raised in the south hospitality and greeting are often forgotten by me. “It was hard as hell I got a 34/100. So better than I did last time.” He baffles me anytime I ask, I should probably just stop asking. “Have you thought about changing majors?” Sean asks looking almost as baffled as I am. “You know that’s not an option” We eat in silence for a long while after that. It’s hardly talked about but failing a class or realizing you’re bot cut out for the major you chose feels a lot like grief. In a way it is, you have to grieve the life you thought you would have by pursuing that major, the job opportunities, and expectations you had set for yourself and in Eli’s case set by his parents, all gone. “Well this is awkward and I’m full, so whats next?” Sean is the first to answer, “Are we still going to that house party tonight?” I told my head vigorously and Eli says “Hell Yeah, don’t you think I need a distraction.” “Well who are we going to ask to get us a bottle, Sean can one of your line brothers?” We are gathering our stuff and taking our eating trays to the trash. “Yeah I’m sure one of them can we will probably pregame with therm too.” I shrug my shoulders “drinking with frat boys every girls dream” with a laugh he says “well you could always go sober and alone” Eli laughs at that, they know my Social anxiety would never allow that. I thank the stranger that holds the door open for us as we leave the cafeteria. “So what are we doing until then? I’m not necessarily In the mood for a nap.” They both stop and look at me “You’re still having trouble sleeping?” I sigh “No, I just wan to spend the day with my best friends, is that a crime?” They look at each other and roll their eyes and keep walking “yeah right, but how about the bowling alley until its time for dinner than we can change and go to my line brothers house to pregame, he lives closer to where the party is so we can walk from there.” I smile and nod “sounds like a great plan to me.”

…….

Walking back to the dorms after dinner to change and I’m thinking to myself how it’s possible to spend so much time with two people and not get tired of each other. I mean it’s been almost two years since the beginning of our friendship and we are at the point that when people see us without each other they ask where the others are. Sean and Eli are roommates and live just a floor below me. So when they are dressed they come bang on my roommate and I’s door like lunatics. I ignore it as I put my finishing touches on my outfit and ask. My roommate “how do I look?” Sasha smirks “why do you even ask? You know you look amazing.” I laugh “an ego boost I suppose, you sure you don’t want to come?” With her bonnet on and robe pulled tightly I already knew the answer but it was a courtesy ask. “Girl no, y’all have fun and be safe.” I blow her a kiss before I open the door to the hooligans in the hall waiting on me. “Sasha come with us girl! Drinks on me” Sean says peaking in to the room as I’m trying to close the door “y’all will drink enough for everyone in the building I have no doubt.” He smacks his lips and admits defeat “See you later.” I close the door and slap his arm “will you leave her alone she is too pretty for you man.” I look back “Eli why have you been so quiet today, besides your impending doom when your dad finds out about your grades?” He runs his hand through his hair a clear tell tale that he’s uncomfortable or has been thinking too much (which is never a good thing) “I think I’m gonna change my major and just tell Baba after.” “Not cool man, you don’t know how he’s gonna react to that.” Eli shrugs his shoulders “I guess we’ll find out…after we drink. This conversation is killing a buzz I don’t have.”

I thought this was supposed to be a small pre game. The thought came before we even entered the house, we had to park six houses down because how packed it already was. “And you’re sure they aren’t hosting the party here?” Sean laughs like its a ridiculous question. “Girl, you know how we get down. This will probably turn into THE party” I shrug my shoulders, I couldn’t care less. “ As long as there’s liquor and music I’m liable to have a good time” Eli nods his head “I second that.” They know to walk in a few feet ahead of me, we cant be scaring the hoes away from each other. Though most people know that we all hang out together we never want it to be an issue for our dating lives. I wait a few seconds after they disappear into the house before I walk in. Imagine my surprise when I walk in and find a pristine town house, with no one in there. Not even my two best friend who just walked in a minute before me. I stand there for a minute, stunned and not quite sure what to make of the situation. I hear the door shut behind me and I jump from the unexpected sound. Okay I have to be dreaming this has happened before, I just have to wake myself up. My dreams are usually more extreme than this, usually ending up in some high rise building fighting King Kong with Kim Possible at my side or something like that. I always wake up when I inevitably die. I go to the kitchen looking for a knife or any kind of weapon so I can hurry up and wake up, I really don’t want to miss this party in the real world. Of course there aren’t any knives or any silver ware at all. “Of Course” I walk upstairs, I might as well get used to the place if I’m going to be here a while. I open all the doors and it seems like an average town house, nothing sticks out. I round the corner in the hallway and see a door I didn’t see before. I go to open it but its locked. I know whatever is behind it is probably how I will get myself to wake up. I take a bobby-pin from my hair and pick the lock, a skill I picked up in middle school. Once I get the door open I walk into my childhood bedroom and everything is as I remember. From the night stand my mom got from GoodWill and let me paint on, to my stuffed dog that I slept with every night. I walk around reminiscing and inhaling the scent of my childhood. I sit on the bed and hug my stuffed dog to my chest, I look out the window and even see the tree I used to climb. I put the dog back and open the door to the hallway, I step into the rest of my childhood home. I put my head against the wall in defeat, “I just want to wake up.” I go to the kitchen again looking once again for something harm myself with, but instead I find a person. “What are you doing here?” She asks. “I used to live here, but also this is a dream and I am desperately trying to wake up.” She looks at me and her eyes glass over kind of reptilian like and turn a light red color, a color I’ve never seen before on eyes. “So you think you’re dreaming?” I roll my eyes still looking through the drawers for something that will help me wake up. “Yes, I know I am because 8 minutes ago I was walking into a house party with my friends and now I’m here sitting talking to you in my childhood home that is two hundred miles away and I’m pretty sure you’re not even human.” She sighs as if she is tired of hearing me already Is this not my fckn dream why is she being so rude? “Well I’m Emily and you are?” Hi Emily, I’m trying to die. She laughs from where she is and I start looking through the cabinets. “Have you seen anything sharp or dense, Emily?” I jump when she responds because she’s right behind me. “No, I haven’t seen anything, just these.” I turn to look at her slowly. She’s brandishing elongated teeth and hunger behind those lavender eyes that I would’ve seen before had I been paying attention. Before I can even scream she attacks me an for the first time in a dream I feel pain. But at least I know I'm going to wake up now.

“Sage, did you have a good nap.” I wake up and I’m in Dr. Jackson’s class again. “Oh no not again.” He sighs “Yes, again. Is my class truly that boring?” I droop my head in my hands “No sir I promise it isn’t, I’ve just been have some problems sleeping. Im so sorry.” With a sympathetic look at me he shakes his head. “It’s alright Sage, just make sure you get all your work turned in on time. And don’t snore.” I chuckle and gather my bag and ask “Have you always been so patient and understanding? Or does it come with being a professor?” I look at him for his answer he’s looking at his laptop as he responds. “I’ve only become this way recently, I’m not sure what inspired the change but I think it makes me a much better person and professor. Wouldn’t you agree?” I nod my head “yeah I wou-“ He looks back up at me and for the first time in this conversation I see his eyes. They were lavender.