The Waiting Sphinx

The beating of the sun. The warm dry sand. The wisping of wind across my sculpted nose. It’s been millennia since my assignment was given to me. At first I was passionate about fulfilling my role gifted to me by my master, but that faded to embers and then to nothingness. I was a husk of what once fueled me. Gutted. Empty. In pain. Why did my master create me? For suffering, for shame? I became bitter. But overtime, a very long time, something changed. I don’t know when, but while staring at the endless dunes and pale sky I noticed that peace had found me. My sourness, my foolishness was wrung out of me by an invisible hand. For the first time I could feel the refreshing dry air caressing my form. How could I have missed something so pleasant for so long. I was distracted by my pain. I don’t understand it but if this was only possible because of the agony I endured then I welcome the affliction.

In this new season, I’ve reveled in the eternal bliss of this garden. My master’s wisdom is great and his kindness is greater. He saw something I was blind to for so long. Now my eyes are open and I live in humble gratitude for the life my master has given me. Though I have found peace I can’t help but think there is something greater than what I see now. Something that eludes me. Something past the horizon. Something important.

I can not focus on what is beyond. My master has left me here so I must focus on here until the day my role has concluded. I again focus on the desert.

In the distance past the blowing of sand. A mirage? No, an interruption to my mediations. A man cloaked in a brown cloth. There is betrayal of hope in my core. This man can do nothing. He cannot pass this test for there is something I can still learn from this place. He nears. Annoyance grew in my mind. I must suspend my contemplation until he has been dealt with.

“Young one, what do you seek in this far desert?”

He responds, “I seek something far beyond here.”

His presence is calm, his face focused, but soft.

“Does the Sphinx of Thebka stand between you and what is beyond?”

“I will reach my goal regardless of the sphinx.”

His eyes are on me but it’s as if they are not looking at me. He is looking at something far past me. I have not seen a human with eyes like these in a long time. They are strong.

“Then why have you come?”

“I have come because my path has led me here.”

“Many people's paths have led them to the Sphinx. The Sphinx’s allotted role is to lead a single person to the next place after having tested them. Your path has brought you to my test.”

The man was silent and waited. It was clear that he accepted my words. He reminds me of my master. Patient.

“Give the Sphinx an answer to its riddle and it will make the path clear.”

Could this man answer? Surely not. None have before.

I speak aloud a rhyming riddle as I have done many times before. The wind blows through his cloak. His hair dances around his face. He stood there for a long time. His breaths are deep, he must be thinking deeply. The hope began to grow. This may be the only man who has a chance. Think and you will find the answer. Look. Keep looking.

After some time he answered,”Sphinx, I do not know. I cannot solve this riddle.”

“You are a strong man. If you keep searching you may find the answer. There is still more time.”

“Has anyone solved one of your riddles?”

“No, no man has.” I answered.

“How long have you been giving riddles?”

“I have been here for many generations.”

“Then it is so,” the man said certainly. “No man has solved them before and this man that stands before you now can not either. Some day I may be able to solve your riddle, but I do not live for someday. I live for today. Today, I lack the discernment to solve your riddle, but I will continue on my path.”

He gave respectful gesture. Turned around and began to walk away.

He accepts what he cannot change so easily.

“My test blocks your path ahead. You can not continue if you do not solve it,” I shouted.

He stops. “Then I will go around your test. If I can not go around it then I will follow a path that bypasses it. If there is no path that bypasses it then I will make a new path. I will keep moving in my direction no matter the cost.” He begins walking again.

He chooses to control what he can. Who is this mighty man? I want to see where he goes. What he does. I want to see his strength. I want to know what he sees.

But, I can not go. My riddle has been left unsolved. My role is not finished. My master wills me to stay. My time in the dry place has not ended.

That man is going further. He is doing the only thing he can do.

All I can do is give riddles until one is solved. I find peace with that idea. I accept what I can not control and take the courage to control what I can.

What I can.

“Wise man, stop!” I roar. “Hear my riddle. Even my tongue slips. The previous was unfit for test. So please take this one with a twist.”

The man paused. He turned around with curiosity.

He walked back and said, “You know I can not solve your riddle.”

“I know you believe that.”

He paused in thought then continued. “I see. Please give me your new riddle.”

“I answer every scholar,

Yet flee from every book.

Kings have begged to hold me still,

But lose me when they look.

“I live behind all wisdom,

Though no hand can make me grow.

The more a person claims me,

The less they truly know.

“Who I am?” I ask with expectation.

He remained composed and thought of the riddle.

After some time he said, “I have given it my greatest effort and I simply do not know.”

“So, you would say you do not know?”

He repeated, “It is so, I do not know.”

“So your answer is that you do not know?”

“Yes, I suppose that is my answer.”

My lips pierced into a smile.