Girl Interrupted

“One! Two! Three and four!” the instructor shouted with orchestrated rhythm to the beat.

Olivia was managing fine in the aerobics class now. It hadn’t been so smooth when she started four months ago. She’d run out of breath in the first five minutes and the gym instructors nearly called for an ambulance. Her fitness journey was sparked by a warning from a nutritionist, who’d visited her office and taken Olivia and her colleagues through the possible challenges that would erupt in their senior years – if they continue to neglect themselves now.

She decided that same week to add gym clothing to her budget and make conscious decisions pertaining her diet, one meal at a time. She was careful not to drastically change her diet in one go to avoid a devastating relapse later on. Soon, she would realize that her transformation was multi-faceted.

“Liv, you’re doing so great! Last round then you can call it, alright?” her class instructor prompted her.

She nodded and increased her pace to finish strong. The gym was filled with her colleagues and numerous college kids with disturbingly obvious hormonal urges. There was a group of young men who couldn’t take their eyes off her, such that she resorted to asking the security guy to refill her bottle downstairs, to avoid running into them. She’d raised that as an issue to Susan, her friend and the manager of the gym, who responded lightly saying ‘it comes with the load of your good genes and non-aging skin, dear.’

Olivia was flattered but knew she’d eventually have to draw a line with those kids. Her years dealing with raging hormones and wandering eyes were far behind her. Now, in her late twenties, there was an urgency to focus on substantial things and it was bringing about changes that sometimes made her regret the shift.

Just a few weeks ago, Olivia was invited to a party that occurs annually and it’s a group of friends from high school who organize it for everyone who was in her class. She attended it religiously each year, but when she saw the invite this year, it was an immediate no. Following her prompt response to decline, she received a group call from her former classmates who were not only devastated but concerned. Questions like ‘have you lost your touch?’ and ‘are you pregnant?’ echoed in the phone call for a few seconds, to which she’d answered ‘I just don’t feel like it, guys. But have fun’.

It wasn’t a lie but she didn’t necessarily understand why or when she’d lost interest in the gathering since it made up most of her annual posts on Instagram and Facebook. Now, on those very platforms, a number of months had gone by since the last time she’d posted anything. Her gallery was showing her sister’s daughter and their family vacation photos as her latest camera activity.

She’d taken up reading as well, to replace going out on weekends and to manage her budget. She was settling between guilt from dropping such habits and peace with the decisiveness behind the act.

Olivia completed her final round and got a thumbs up from the instructor to call it a day. She looked toward the weight-lifting section and noticed the college goons had left. The coast was clear so she took her pink towel from the rack and her clear water bottle off the floor to leave.

She was on her way downstairs when suddenly she dropped to her knees and felt heat hovering over her entire body. First, she assumed it was a reaction to the workout session she’d just had so she tried to manage her shock. No dizziness. No nausea. A full minute went by before she moved at all. She stayed in that posture and only moved her legs to get comfortable on her knees. Her toes were burning from bending them but she was more concerned with what was going on around or within her.

Olivia didn’t notice that the music had stopped and her fellow gym pals were circling around her to find out if she was alright. She didn’t hear her instructor calling her but she lifted her face and looked straight into his eyes.

“Jesus!” she screamed and burst out in laughter.

“I can feel Jesus. He’s the One behind all this. For months I’ve been asking myself who I am and it was all confusing. The changes”, she chuckled and caught her breath. Olivia was crying as she said this.

The instructor looked smitten. He took Olivia’s towel to wipe her face and got on his knees.

“What did He say? Did you hear anything?” the man inquired.

“Say yes. That’s what He said to me. Just say yes”, she answered while beaming at him.

“I want that. I’ve been looking for a reason to go back to church and read my bible. It’s been two years since…” he was near tears as he confessed.

The rest of the people who lingered exchanged looks and one joined the duo on the ground.

“I want Him too”, she admitted.

Olivia closed her eyes.

“Let’s pray”, she whispered and bowed her head.

Three others fell on their knees as they all began to whisper prayers.

The heat that had pushed Olivia to her knees was back over her, more intensely now and she gained boldness. Her instructor was bawling after just two minutes since they’d begun. There was a presence in the room.

An hour had nearly lapsed when they all suddenly went silent, as if to soak in the environment. It as unlike anything they’d ever experienced before and they all knew it had changed their futures forever. Olivia was first to break the thick silence with a chuckle.

“Oh my God”, she placed her thin long hand over her mouth in absolute admiration.

The two other women who were in the room shared the sentiment and wiped their faces with their towels simultaneously. What a moment.

Olivia knew she wanted to call her sister and tell her about this but wasn’t sure if she’d do it today. This was worth savoring overnight. They all stood up slowly, still shaken up but joy lingered in the air of the aerobics hall as they walked toward the exit, heading home.