The Stranger

I woke up baffled; my mind ajar questioning my own existence. Was that really a dream? I uncover myself and plant my feet on the rough carpeted floor. The sensation on my toes, the palms of my feet reminding me that I am still alive. I stand up and head for the restroom, taking a moment, a pause to stand in front of the mirror and gaze at myself. I look pathetic. A shattering image of myself appearing in front of me. What have I become?

After having almost a mid life crisis at the start of the day I managed to gather myself enough for a cup of coffee at the local breakfast joint. I still feel rather smug, not oblivious at all to the wandering eyes of those preying upon my look of homelessness. I sip my coffee slowly, eyes focused on the steam rolling from the cup. My mind still recovering from this mornings wake up call, a sharp reminder of life itself. The sun shines through the window beside the bar, warming my body, warming my soul. It brings me some comfort, more sense of reality, brings me down to earth. I finish my coffee, and head towards the exit when a man bumps into me. He looks oddly familiar, we exchange our sorrows, but something about the mans shocked and rather disgusted facial expression tells me more.

My heart is pounding; the events of the day continuously piling up. I feel an uncertainty within growing, and with each push I make to settle, two more seeds are planted. I start my car, take a few deep breaths to gather myself, and turn on the radio. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen is playing on the classic rock station I frequent. "Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun but now I've gone and thrown it all away" starts blaring. I spiral, sweat begins beading on my forehead, visible shakes coming from my hands.

I start the car, something has to give. I have to shake this feeling, this nauseousness that is rising. I open the window and breathe in some fresh air; the sun still rising above scurrying my vision. Before I know it I hear a car horn blaring. While indulging in some fresh air and the rather warm sun I had wandered into the other lane. Bang! A blinding light appears before me, a warm sensation runs over my body. I feel as though I'm being lifted, tossed into space, as if I'm free flowing. A ragdoll in a fully padded room with no gravity you could say.

I see the same man I bumped into at the coffee shop. This time however he appears to be rather subtle, no look of disgust, or shock. He walks up to me and shakes my hand, as bewildered as I am I go along with it. I see his mouth moving, but no words come out. Instead everything around him and I is a blinding whiteness, with a low calm humming brisking us. He pulls me in for a hug, and I embrace it. The warmth of his body drawing me in. I indulge in his presence, holding on as this is the last sense of security I've felt in ages. He pulls away though, I feel my senses slipping. I desperately grasp but the figure in front of me fades anyway.

I wake up to beeping; lights one by one flashing above me. Doctors and nurses surround me with painful, worrying expressions. Nausea overwhelms me, and I pass out. This time however I don't see anything, it's empty. A pitch black existence stands before me; I should be worried yet I'm not. I start walking, thinking maybe I'll find the light at the end of this tunnel. I feel waves pulsing below my feet, every step radiating the very existence of space time continuum. I pick up my pace, I start running, every step I take the doubt that once was gone creeps in. What is this?

The more I ran the worse I got. My life flashing through my eyes, images, and memories appearing projected upon my very dark existence. Wondering why this man had appeared in my life, wondering where he came from? How am I not exhausted? I feel as though I've ran for miles, my mind churning through thoughts faster than a farmer and his milk cow. I'm slowly feeling my sense of self fade, it was already questionable at best. Yet something keeps pushing me forward, running on the edge.

I finally see a light. It should have felt like an eternity pushing every physical and mental boundary I had. Yet I felt nothing. Twas just my essence reliving my life I presume. The light started out as a mere sprinkle, a dot like a sole star in the night sky. My body pulsed at his presence, a glimmer of hope, and certainty ahead. My legs pushed harder, the closer I got the brighter the light. The light blinding me as I approached it; I closed my eyes, let out a deep breath, and embraced what was to come next.

I wake up in a hospital bed. Every inch of my body besides my eyes wrapped up, a mummification while alive. Nothing within me feels responsive besides my mind. The heart monitor beeping slowly reminding me that something else is working. A nurse peeps through the doorway; "Oh honey, you're awake! We've been so worried about you". "What happened?" I ask. "Oh you were in a bad car accident, it nearly killed you". I responded in silence. An uneasy set of thoughts rushing through my mind. My knowing that I am now more than likely fully paralyzed. This mornings incident spirals before me, life presenting itself as a full circle. I'm almost to the point of passing out when a familiar face steps in behind the nurse; "hello".