Reddit Bluster (Final update)

My wife kicked me out for hanging out with a childhood friend. AITA?

BlessedMustang52616

Hey Reddit, throwaway account because my wife knows my main. So this whole situation just has me completely baffled. So I (28M) and my wife (25F) have been married for two years, living together in an apartment. We had just moved in maybe two months ago, and things have been going well. We met while we were both at university, and we hit it off almost immediately. I’ve met all of her friends from home, and she’s met all of mine. Our families mesh really well, and things are just all around great. Except for one small thing. Her and my best friend from childhood, let’s call them M, have never gotten along.

M and I have been friends since grade school, and we’ve been through every major childhood milestone together. We helped each other study for tests, we got our drivers licenses at the same time, went to prom together, etc. M is so ingratiated into my family that they’re like my cousin. Honestly, I can’t imagine my life without M in it at this point. My wife was always really understanding about that, so whenever I’d say I was going to hang out with M, she never seemed to mind. Now, in the past few months, she’s gotten really uptight about me spending time with M. When I say we’re going to see a movie, my wife gets really short and tells me I “better only be buying popcorn for myself”, which is like ???

So onto the reason for this story. I got a call from M earlier today saying that they had a huge crisis and needed me to come see them ASAP. Of course I dropped what I was doing to help them. I’ve always been the type to help people when they need it, so it was a no brainer to rush to help M out with their problem. On my way there, I got a phone call from my wife, but I don’t really like talking on the phone while I’m driving so I let it go to voicemail and planned to text her when I got to the next red light or something.

Now, I’m willing to admit my faults, and I totally forgot to text her and when I got to M’s house, they were in full panic mode so getting back to my wife just fell on the back burner. That’s totally on me, and I get it. What I wasn’t expecting was to look at my phone after we dealt with M’s thing to see several missed calls as well as two voicemails from not just my wife but her mother as well, telling me how selfish and cruel I was for just ghosting my wife.

Now, again, I know I’m in the wrong for not texting her about where I was, but I felt those messages were a little over the top. I called my wife and she just started into me about “Where are you?” And I was like, “Sorry, but M really needed me to come help them with something!” And that was when my wife hit me with, “Well, maybe you should just stay with M, since they’re clearly more important.”

She didn’t even let me talk, she just hung up and would only ever send me to voicemail. I figured she needed to cool off, so I asked M if I could stay the night, and of course they said yes, because that’s what good friends do.

The next morning my phone was lit up with calls and texts from my wife about how absolutely disgusted she was with me. Like, what the hell, man? She told me to stay at M’s and now I’m the bad guy for listening to her? Ridiculous. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong but like… Am I the asshole?

Comments:

-Midscore-: Info needed. What was the catalyst for your wife and M not liking each other? Did they say something to upset her or what?

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: No, my wife just told me one day that she wasn’t very fond of how much time I spend with M. They’ve never had any fights that I’ve been made aware of.

Kitten_Mittenz-: Did you tell your wife you were going to M’s house? Did you communicate the situation at all to her?

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: No, when M called me, I just raced to my car and took off, there was no time to tell my wife as she was occupied.

Reply from Kitten_Mittenz-: Occupied with what? What was she doing?

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: She had a doctor’s appointment.

SolidAshford: What was M’s crisis that they needed you so immediately?

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: Their boyfriend had just broken up with them. They really needed support, because they’d been together for like two years and this had all just come crashing down around them.

Reply from SolidAshford: I mean, was this really something that they needed you present in person for? What were you doing when you went to M’s house?

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: I was just waiting for my wife to be done with her doctor’s appointment.

Reply from SolidAshford: Okay, so you were just sitting around at home waiting for her, that’s not too bad.

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: No, I wasn’t at home, I was at the doctor’s office.

Reply from SolidAshford: Please tell me you weren’t her ride home.

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: I mean, her mom was there too, so I figured she’d be covered.

Reply from SolidAshford: With every new bit of information I’m learning from you I’m thinking YTA.

turtlescanfly7: YTA strictly because you weren’t communicating with your wife. Unless something egregious happened, kicking you out sounds over the top, but you had every opportunity to communicate and you chose not to.

Seanhemsworth: Brother, you are absolutely the asshole. It sounds like your wife isn’t comfortable with your friendship and you keep pushing those boundaries. If you two manage to get back into a decent spot, you have an endless amount of trust building to do.

thehighaccountability: Hey Larry, this is your wife. Did you really think I wouldn’t find your post? Seriously, you know how much I love to read AITA stories and you thought it would be a good idea to post here anonymously? The fact that you’ve managed to tell this story and leave out every bit of relevant information is truly something, so I thought I might jump in here to add what you’ve missed. “M” is Melanie, and while it’s true that you’ve been friends for your whole lives, you also dated through high school, including going to prom together. She was the first woman you’ve ever had sex with. Your first kiss. Everything. You keep using “they/them” pronouns talking about her, but she absolutely identifies as a woman. A straight woman. Who you abandoned your wife to rush to when she broke up with her boyfriend who was uncomfortable with your relationship.

Reply from WritingGiraffe: Oh shit. So you didn’t know he was going to meet with M?

Reply from thehighaccountability: No, he wasn’t able to tell me because I was in surgery after my appendix burst.

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: Stephanie, please, I told you nothing happened. Can we please talk about this not on Reddit.

Reply form thehighaccountability: You’re the one who brought it here, Larry, not me.

Reply from BlessedMustang52616 OP: [deleted]

UPDATE: My wife kicked me out for hanging out with a childhood friend. AITA?

So after a long conversation with my wife, I’ve decided to cut things off with M. She said that my friendship with M has been making her really uncomfortable, and despite me explaining there was nothing between M and I, my wife is still endlessly uncomfortable. This will be my final update on this story.

Comments:

thehighaccountability: Hi everyone, the wife here. After two months, I’ve filed for divorce from Larry. He did, in fact, cut contact with Melanie, but shortly after that, she contacted me to tell me that the two of them had been sleeping together for years behind my and her ex-boyfriend’s back. I also just caught Larry sleeping with one of his coworkers.

I should have known better.