Temporary decision that cause permanent pain

Irrational decision that we make without checking or not thinking how those decision will affect us in the end. Well, we all make those irrational thoughts!!!!!!

The is a time to sow and a time to reap and as my teacher use to say that a farmer who is too lazy to plow at the right time, come the harvesting period he or she is going to harvest nothing and that’s the truth however if you sow bad you reap bad, no question asked, even though one must say sometimes you do good and don’t reap good, now for me I would say it’s a matter of perception, you can’t sow apples and reap bananas nor can you sow bananas and reap apples, though the process acquire you to sow and reap, it gets interesting because failing to do so doesn’t mean nothing would grow Might not be what you wanted but something eventually grows, have you ever seen a deserted field without anything in it, now don’t come to me and talk about the desert! . My whole life I use to think that people are like numbers, but people are like letters, letters ready to make a story and like stories they need to be shared. The only different about those stories that are shared is that they can either build you or destroy you depending on how those stories are shared.

Life is made by each steps we take each an everyday, from a child who learn how to walk or one who learn to speak it’s those moments that tends to change the trajectory of one’s entire life. I am a critical thinker so often I found myself in such thoughts rapidly because if you’re like me who is prone to overthinking you might be familiar with the term procrastination as it doesn’t give you a chance to rest especially the thoughts that come from resentment, the what if, what could have been, should have and my most famous one is if I only I did it back then or sooner.

So to reflect I normal found myself pondering to these thoughts especially ones that I seemly had solutions of and didn’t act upon, the missed opportunities I could have taken opportunity of and capitalize on however the payment for such incidences are much of a burden if you ask me, although it’s 100% my fault, what I myself brought about like one saying which goes like if you fail to plan your planning to fail or better, one that says dreams without goals are just wasted dreams.

Everyone at some point sit back and relax to try to think about what he or she could have been if he only tried to do what was right and well that’s where we go again, irrational thoughts and rational thoughts, in other words the decision that you make when your just not thinking straight like for example when you’re hurting and angry at someone or something, you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that you loved deeply and find him or her cheating that alone can lead you to do things that you might regret your whole life, we see people especially males kill their partners and spend their whole life in prison, causing Gender based violence the other pandemic we have as a country according to the president.

But it doesn’t have to be killing someone else but yourself, out of peer pressure, something everyone thinks they have control over and think that their too clever for and yeah some are because they peer pressure others but as for me I don’t think am that clever because lately I been doing some thinking only to find out that I am quite different from most of my peers as I would rather enjoy a blunt with coffee then read a book than going parting or rather have one solid friendship than a lot of friends who are that! You know what I mean.

Even though I can still see that there are those children who can’t realize that especially those who are in deep substances as they used them as coping mechanism and can’t stop because of lack of support and especially those who are judged everyday like they don’t deserve help if they have made mistakes. As funny as it sound welcomes to the Teenage Supporting Aid that’s going to be helping teenagers who can’t help themselves to find themselves in reaching their full potential in any country and also working on helping them find their talents that might change the world, see still thinking just a dream I have might be a moment of change for plenty more out there. 

I know a man called Chris and he is one of those people who inspired me to even start the process of staying away from drugs, he has been smoking for twenty years as for drinking I am not sure maybe it’s 20 as well didn’t asked much on that one and he never got sick of cancer nor is he roaming in the street somewhere or doesn’t have a job he does, but thing about Chris is that he has been wise, even though I understand wisdom in a different way and sometimes too wise since our youth thinks that if your smoking and drinking your too wise or whatever and yes!

Chris is wise let’s use it objective, he is working for the Eskom company and his house is dope, with everything and money, he has money but the only thing that’s bothering Chris is the youth’s way of doing things especially since he believes the is a better way to do things now, it’s that saying if only I knew then what I know now type of thing and I was just sitting in the street with some friends and he called us bought us food and we washed his car and gave us money, but now as you know that you must ask advice to people who seem like they have what you might like or better successful and when we ask him about what he does, how he does it he was chilled and gave us advice where were needed it but when we asked about his family dynamics.

He busted out of tears and trust me that was something scarry for me to see since I thought he was doing really good in life but turns out that his son is sick and so sick that he has a kidney failure and Chris can’t help since smoking and excessive drinking has damaged him and he was like even though right now you may think that this decision of smoking is temporary just remember that everything in life has consequences and the worst thing that could happen is making a decision so small only to find out that there’s no going back, that small insignificant decision is going to cost you for the rest of your life and yes right now we young and we might think its ok to do certain things but what happen when you cant help your kids when they need you because of decision you took without thinking about the long run. Now I understand some might say that’s living in fear or through other people projection due to their mistakes in life, however we tried to put ourselves in his shoes and were empathetic and understanding.

He talked for a while and tears were just dropping down since this was making him resentful and keep this in mind this person is healthy on the outside and has everything but he can’t look to a reflection of himself because of the decisions he took when he thought he was young, life is something else and every time it has a way of showing us how not wise we think we are. Temporary decisions that causes permanent pain, Chris is always beating himself up for not knowing this when he was young and I guess as students we can learn a lot from this, am not saying what you doing is wrong but just remember you still have a future and why would you let your kids suffer because of your decisions? Whether irrational or insignificance!