Twimble and the Household Cleaning

“Always left with the cleaning,” griped Twimble the hedgehog as he scurried about the cottage. “Just once I’d like my studies to be the priority. But no, she always seems to leave things in such a state. ‘Twimble, you’re my familiar, clean it up’. It’s not my mess. I keep my den tidy as a pin. Not the case with the great and feared Emlyn.”

“I’d be happy to lend a wing,” said Karstairs the raven, a wicked smile spread across his beak.

“Ha, I think not,” said Twimble, “You’re locked in that cage for a reason.”

The tight cage, hung from the ceiling, swung too and fro as the raven moved about in it while keeping an eye on Twimble. “I won’t tell her you let me out. Just toss me a small bit of wire and I’ll pick the lock myself.”

“Karstairs, is there a part of your beak where deviousness doesn't flow freely?”

“Insults won’t help you clean the cottage any faster.”

“But magic will.”

“I’ll be happy to supervise. You do need to build up your confidence.”

Twimble grumbled a bit and started to climb up one of Emlyn’s walking sticks that she’d left propped against her conjuring table. With a little effort he was safely on the tabletop.

“Smart to save your magic for the cleaning,” said Karstairs snidely.

Twimble paid him no attention since he had work to do in the form of a table that was covered in left out bottles and containers of magical ingredients. He pulled his wand, which was the size of a toothpick, from his belt and began to intone, “Return to where - you’re meant to be - heed my words - Shar-eer Sha-ree.” Nothing happened. He tried it again and still nothing.

Karstairs cleared his throat. “Shar-eer Sha-REE. You need more emphasis on the last syllable."

Twimble tried again, this time emphasizing as Karstairs had suggested. And it worked! His wand now glowed with magic energy and he began to telekinetically manipulate each of the jars back to its place on the open shelves that lined the cottage walls.

“See how easy that was. We make a good team,” said Karstairs.

“I’m not letting you out. You broke the rules by delving into the Grimoire of Ancient Secrets.”

“Trust me it was not worth it. Not a spell of note within those musty pages.”

“Be that as it may, you’ll be free when she deems you’ve learned your lesson.”

“You’re such a goody-goody. I thought all hedgehogs were rogues and thieves.”

“That is a gross exaggeration that does have an amount of historical accuracy,” said Twimble as he looked over at the cauldron on the hearth. The hearth was not lit but he could still see that the interior of the cauldron was thickly caked with residue from Emlyn's potion brewing.

“She cooked up a big batch of elixer of protection last night,” said Karstairs, “You’ll need some powerful magic to clean that out. I have a few ideas.”

“No, no, no. I’ve got magic enough to get this done.”

Karstairs cocked an eye in disbelief, “We’ll see about that.”

“A raven you are and a raven you will always be,” said Twimble, stating the old saying.

“True,” said Karstairs.

Twimble looked down from the table at a bucket of rain water in the corner. He readied his wand and chanted, “Aqua Facut Iubeo - Hoc Enim Est Quod Postulo.” His wand glowed and a thin stream of water rose from the bucket. Under his control, the water snaked across the room and into the cauldron. Twimble moved the wand in a circular motion and the water mimicked his motion. Around and around it went ever faster. As the spell wore down, it was quite apparent that it had minimal effect on all the crusty residue that coated the interior of the cauldron.

Karstairs laughed, “That might work on laundry but not for this.”

Twimble climbed down from the table, found a small scrub brush and began climbing up the hearth.

“Twimble I respect you but if you climb into that cauldron to try to clean it, I’m not sure you’re ever getting out.”

“Okay, great and wise master magician Karstairs, what do you suggest?”

“Summon an imp.”

“Summon an imp?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t do that. That’s dangerous.”

“You’re going to have to do it sometime to prive your magical proficiency. And I’m here in case something goes wrong.”

Twimble was not sure he was ready. But he did his best to convince himself, “I did well with my last two spells. I know the incantation. I’ve seen Emlyn do it countless times.”

“You’re ready.”

“I’m ready?” said Twimble, not at all confidently.

Once more he pulled his wand. He cleared his mind and spoke the simple spell, “Spawn of darkness - Spawn of power - I enlist your aid - For one quarter hour!” His wand pulsed red and with a puff of black smoke, an imp appeared before him. It stood thirteen inches tall, well above Twimble. It was all red with horns and a pointy tail. Its wicked eyes and beak-like nose looked down at the diminutive hedgehog magician. At that moment he did not feel powerful. “Uh, could you, might you, uh, clean yonder cauldron?” said Twimble meekly gesturing at the cauldron.

Everyone that has conjured creatures from the underworld knows that when you commanded them, you needed to be confident, forceful and very specific about the task that they had been summoned to perform. Twimble had failed in every one of those aspects.

A big smile crossed the imps face, “I could and I might and I will before I go. But first a little fun. Ha ha ha ha!” It leapt up and breathed a burst of flame that caught the window curtains on fire.

“Get me out of this cage or get me a wand,” yelled Karstairs.

Twimble looked around, not sure what to do. The burning curtains were one thing, but the imp on the loose was another. He decided best to get the more powerful Karstairs his wand but that meant climbing up the curio cabinet. It was times like these that Twimble regretted his small stature. He raced across the floor towards the cabinet.

The imp had disappeared into the pantry and crashing could be heard from in there. As Twimble reached the cabinet, the imp reemerged and it was carrying a glass jar full of colorful rock candy, Emyln’s favorite. The imp threw it to the floor and the jar shattered, spraying broken glass and candy everywhere which the imp was quick to start collecting.

Twimble reached the cabinet and began his climb. The imp noticed and started hurling chunks of glass his way while popping the candy into its mouth. One of the larger pieces hit Twimble squarely and he tumbled to the floor.

“You’re going to have to take care of him,” yelled Karstairs. The imp changed targets and started throwing the glass at Karstairs while hissing at him.

No longer the imp’s focus, Twimble righted himself, pulled his wand and cast the first spell that came to mind, “Quod vides non est quale est.” A frosty white beam shot across the room, hit the imp and seemed to sparkle as it bounced off and dissipated all around him. The imp smiled and seeming unaffected, it popped another candy in its mouth. Its expression changed from bemusement to fear as it clutched its throat and started choking.

“You’d best finish the job you were brought here for and then leave!” said Twimble with confidence and authority.

The still choking imp leapt into the cauldron and was enveloped in flame. The flame burned white hot, cleansing the interior of the pot. As it subsided the imp was no longer there.

Twimble collapsed to the floor, “That was too close.”

“Impressive,” said Karstairs, “What was that spell?”

“An illusion, I made the glass look like candy and the candy look like glass. It thought it had eaten a piece of candy but too late discovered it was glass.”

“Ha ha, well played. There might be a rogue in you after all.”

Just then the door swung open and in entered Emlyn. She looked at the still burning curtains and the floor covered in candy and broken glass. She arched her brow and looked to Twimble. “Well?” she said accusingly.

“Nearly finished with the cleaning. Just give me a minute,” said Twimble, confidently.

Emlyn was taken aback but impressed with this new found confidence in her familiar, “Very well. And I’ll take my lunch when you have a chance.”

Twimble smiled, “So it shall be.” And he set to work cleaning the mess.

✩

In the end, Emlyn got her lunch, Karstairs ended up spending another day locked up, and Twimble learned that in the future he'd be a lot more careful before summoning an imp to help with the cleaning.

THE END