Tehachapi Bess

In the old west there was a lady named Bess who lived in Tehachapi. She was a gunslinger, a madam, and a bar owner all in one. She was, as you might guess from the movies, curvaceous with large blond curls drawn up on top of her head with feathers or sometimes jeweled adornments. She of course wore the expected ruffled and layered dresses as was the fashion for sporting ladies. Tied around her waist, under her petticoat was her pockets. In each pocket was a silver-plated revolver with mother of pear handles, just as you would expect.

Bess ran her saloon with the help of a large menacing man with the typical chestnut brown handlebar mustache. Although he was quite large and menacing looking, he was actually quite lovely and had a fond respect for Bess. He was also an excellent gardener, though that does not relate to our story. His name was Dalin, though he is not really important to the story it just helps to know that while Bess was out gunslinging, or if anyone wanted to press their perceived advantage, there was someone there to make sure nothing nefarious occurred. That is except for the whoring which was of course very much expected and honestly not all that nefarious.

Also helping with the business was Bess’ long time, off-again/on-again lover, Hank, the bartender. Because every story needs a little distraction even if it has nothing to do with the story. Hank was of course handsome but this is also not relevant to our tale. Although in most movies Hank would be the Hero and roll into town to save Bess when marauders came around, this is not that kind of story.

Bess (or Tehachapi Bess, as she was often referred to when people spoke of her behind her back) was both respected and disdained by the folks of the town. As one would suppose, women either wanted her banned from town for fear she would tempt their menfolk or wanted to work for her. Men were either disgusted by her profession (and secretly wanted her) or they loved and frequented her establishment.

Here, however, is where what one would expect goes sideways. After all this is not the type of story you are probably thinking it is going to be: the hero love interest saving the town madame from an angry mob.

Bess was an avid rock climber, and an accomplished horsewoman. Whenever Bess was especially agitated she would take long rides into the desert to clear her head. This particular day was especially taxing for Bess due to unwanted advances from the town sheriff and saving girls from serial rapists, which had become so common that she was considering burning the whole place to the ground with the men inside of it. She had also had yet another argument with her sometimes boyfriend/sometimes ‘just the bartender’ Hank. Hank was always trying to be the dashing hero in Bess’ life but she was not a woman that needed saving. She was more than capable of taking care of herself. She could shoot a feather off the back of a horse without so much as grazing a single hair. She often worked fifteen hours in a day from the time the saloon opened at noon till the time it closed at two in the morning. Yet most men talked to her like she was an impetuous child. These are the types of thoughts that ran through her head as she rode away from the town.Those thoughts and the fact that she had to shoot a man who was trying to break down the door of one of the girls’ rooms.

Bess had jumped on her horse about an hour before sunset and rode towards the mountains in the east.Normally a few hours ride would be sufficient time for her and she would turn back with renewed spirit. Today seemed especially disheartening so she rode on for twenty-five miles or so till she came to the base of the jagged cliffs of the mountains where the horse could take her no further. There was a full moon that night and it was extremely late.In fact it was late enough that you could argue that it was possibly extremely early since it was now past midnight.

Bess was still out of sorts even after five hours of riding. It was mid-summer and the night air was pleasantly warm so she tied her horse to a nearby tree, removed her petticoat and corset, and began to climb the rocky cliffs, she kept her pistol holding pockets tied firmly in place around her waist. After thirty minutes of climbing she could see that higher up there was a flat spot that looked like a good place to rest and watch the stars. Bess continued climbing, at first it was quite easy, but as she continued it became much more difficult and so she removed her heavy packer boots and continued, barefoot, to climb. After about twenty minutes she reached the top of the mountains and was aghast at what she saw. An extremely large flat rock over ten acres in size, but the size of this flat area was not why she was shocked.

The reason this rock was so large and flat was because it was a landing pad for an alien spaceship and had been brought there by the aliens to flatten out the top of a rounded hill.They had also created the jagged rocks hoping to conceal their activities and the spaceship. The ship was rounded and metallic and the creatures aboard the ship were Gray Aliens, not very much to look at, quite short and slightly greenish due to the semi-transparent suits they wore made from algae. The aliens had no sex organs and no particular feelings about anything. They were only interested in science, discovery of new things and continued energy supply for their planet. The aliens were gathering rock specimens and plants and taking them aboard their aircraft.They also had a woman with them who seemed to be walking up the gangway of her own free will.

Bess stood in shock and watched them, partially due to her confusion and partially because it seemed she was in fact stuck frozen in time. The confusion came from the realization that the rock face she had just climbed, the one she had seen from her home since childhood, was in fact fake. She was unmoving because the area had a protective force field around it and she was in fact stuck in place.

The full moon reflected brightly off of her white undergarments and it was not long before one of the aliens noticed her standing there. The alien ambled over to her, looked at her, looked over the edge of the cliff and back at her. He made a nod and went back to the ship without any interaction. The aliens continued loading their ship and they all went inside.The doors closed and the ship lights flickered off. Bess was still immobilized and she looked at the ship as it drove off into the night.She could just make it out from the reflection of the moonlight on the metal exterior as it began to slowly fade into the distance. Then all at once it returned to where she was standing and a Gray alien came down the landing strip and looked at her, it looked over the edge of the cliff again and it looked back at her and nodded again.