Return of the annoying

Write a story about two rivals/enemies forced to work together.

RETURN OF THE ANNOYING

“Thank God that’s over”! I said to myself, as I departed the college gates, “and now I have the dilemma of either getting a job, or to extend my education, by eventually going to University”?

“What a tedious ordeal that was, enduring ‘those bunch’ of giggling female imbeciles, or pathetic immature girls for two years”! I said to myself with relief, “and hopefully, I won’t be seeing their faces for years maybe, or if ever again”?

My college classes had mostly, and unfortunately, featured these female simpletons, and my difficulty to concentrate, would not be enhanced with their presence, or their silly pranks, and disruptive behaviour, and in that final year, when the it was completed with exams, then the chances of me revising, and concentrating were not very likely!

‘Those girls’ would be partially responsible for my failure to exceed in my exams, but many years later, an issue with the health of my brain would be detected, which had affected my memory, and that was probably the real reason! But, this girls behaviour really ‘wound me up’, and I had to say something, which was probably said without much care, thought or feeling, and probably ‘went along the lines of’ -

“Why don’t you shut your mouth, you really are annoying,

I feel sorry for those bosses, who think you’re someone worth

employing”!

“You’re very immature, and you must have a runny brain,

because you’re saying the same bloody thing- ‘over and over’

again”!

“Hopefully I’ll never see your face again, after this final bell,

but if I do, then I’ll probably despairingly scream “oh, bloody hell”!

“You remind me of an item in a washing machine,

that’s known as a ‘wet blanket’, and it’s trying to get clean”!

It was the summertime, and seasonal jobs in this seaside town, were rife, and my early application to become a waiter in a seaside restaurant, and public house, was immediately successful(“sometimes it’s not ‘what you know’, it’s ‘WHO you know’, a lot of the time”!) and I was offered the job ‘there and then’, which I gratefully accepted, and then I was told that I would be starting on the following day, and that this same opportunity was being offered to another candidate, which I didn’t mind, because I was also told that it wouldn’t affect my hours of work, or my wages, and if they thought that there would be enough work for two people, then it could only be beneficial for me……….but who could this identical job be given to, who, in this community could possibly be joining me?

‘Imagine if that girl, that constantly ‘naffed’(annoyed me) me off at college, getting it’, I thought, and then I quietly laughed to myself, because our acquaintance ended at college two weeks ago, and we last parted company by telling each other to ‘go forth and multiply’(“or to f*** off”), and I thought that that memory, and those words between us, would be our final, and our last association, but I was told, hopefully as a joke, that she was now living in this area!

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Her and I, never saw ‘eye to eye’ at college, and that wasn’t because of a difference in height! I had difficulty to concentrate, and her presence, in most of the classes that we unfortunately shared, was disruptive, because she would like to ‘show-off', or she’d cause a scene to get noticed, and from the sound of her loud laughter, then not much had changed!

I loved the summertime, but I would get very depressed if we suffered weeks of rain, along with cold temperatures, especially when we were supposed to have weather that was associated with the Summertime, like a hot and sunny outlook, warm or hot conditions/temperatures, and having the experiences that you might only have in the summertime, like going to the beach, splashing around in a clear blue sea, eating ice cream, wearing just shorts and a T-shirt, or a vest, but it would feel like a betrayal, and a deceit, if suffering a bad Winter had no reward, and the Summertime didn’t abide with its seasonal description, and it was just like an extension of a hard Winter, that we had usually endured in the South West of Cornwall!

Consistent bad weather would obviously affect the hours that I worked, and I used to feel personally guilty for all of those holiday makers, who had saved, and spent a lot of their money, to come to Cornwall, and in particular to stay in this area, expecting it to be sunny, hot or warm and dry, especially when trying to enjoy this picturesque area, especially if the weather was much nicer from where they had come, and it might instead be associated with dreary rain, cold and strong winds, and dirty grey beaches, with smelly seaweed on them, because the sea was so rough and wild that it crashed onto the beaches, and the high waves contained the vegetation of the sea!

Summertime should be a welcome break from those storms, and the Winter’s did not help to promote Cornwalls fine beaches, the coastal towns or the villages.

I would hopefully earn this summer, and save, which would go towards supporting myself through those extra, but optional, college/university years, and towards some driving lessons perhaps?

The summertime, was sadly the time, when you wouldn’t see some close friends for weeks, maybe years, or if ever again, because you, or they, might be going to different parts of the country, to either go to different Universities, or to find permanent work now, in more populated lands ‘far away’. I had to, no, I wanted to work in this area, because it’s nice to work in this familiar and scenic area, that I enjoyed living in, and one that I knew well, and to be around friendly, and familiar faces!

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I would always think about my college friends (‘what were they up to now, and what surprises would I witness, when, or if, I ever saw them again?) and I also thought about those, acquaintances, that weren’t particularly my favourite class mates, and there were a few girls, in most of my classes, that were disruptive, giggly, and sometimes really annoying, and I wondered which poor employer got lumbered with them!?

This summer season was a welcome break from their, disruptive, and annoying presence, that I had just endured, and there was this one girl, in particular, that I wouldn’t mind, ‘at all’, if I never saw her face again, and the thoughts of those past events, briefly soured the good memories that I had of those college years!

I thoughts about my forthcoming part-time job, which would begin on the following day, and also about the ‘mystery person’ with whom I would be working, were occupying my mind, and ‘for some reason’ that plagued my mind for most of that evening!

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The morning alarm shattered the silence, and this day could influence my current direction in life, or it could just be an experience that’ll have an influence on ‘this’ life, because I would be working in the Town’s biggest establishment, and for the Town’s most influential, and popular man!

This was the day that I would feel like a man, because it was the day that I would begin to work, and that I would earn, and feel like I had, and hopefully deserved, my ‘first-ever’ wage packet- ‘which was an actual brown and square envelope, that contained money/cash inside of it, and a piece of paper that informed you of the deductions that had, been kindly made for you, by this country’s government! That piece of paper, had your name on it, along with the Government’s deductions, and it made me feel recognised as being a person in this World now, because they had a record of my existence, and I felt part of the contributing public, and worthy now to moan, and to comment on the political employment issues, that I had seen on the television!

Work had begun, and it had been a busy first day, going constantly inside and outside, to those holidaymakers who were enjoying basking in the sun, and enjoying their holiday, because, ‘for me’, it was more of a pleasant experience to serve people with happy and smiling faces, because they would also be more relaxed, and they would have more patience, and happier attitudes, and on this particular day it was very hot outside, and it was very busy, and the sweat was visibly showing on my forehead, and just before I had finished working for the day, the boss reminded me that we’d have somebody else working with us on the following day, because he had anticipated that we would be very busy this summer, and so we’ll have another ‘pair of hands’ to cope with this demand, but that I shouldn’t worry, because my wages, and my hours, won’t be affected, and will remain the same, and those words would be both reassuring, and intriguing.

——————————————————————————————————

During that evening, my mind would explore possible candidates that could possibly be joining ‘the team’, and I initially thought that it was another man(“because the original job that was advertised was for a waiter, and not a waitress, and I went through the possible local candidates, until I eventually fell asleep through boredom!

I awoke early on the following morning, and I walked down the Town to go to work, and it wasn’t until I was almost inside of the building that I thought about who I would be working with, and then I heard this annoying, and familiar voice, along with this unmistakable female laugh, which was like a pig on helium! “It can’t be”, I despaired, momentarily thinking that it sounded exactly like that annoying girl at college, but I thought that those sighting’s of her being in the area were unfunny jokes, that came from my drunken friends, especially when they said that her face was spotted going into the same pub/hotel, that I would be working in!

“Yeah, nice one lads”, I remembered saying at the time!

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“You cannot be serious, am I experiencing a bad dream……

and I have to work with ‘her’ this Summer, serving teas and ice-

cream”,

“It was a relief on that final college day, when I thought that I

would get a rest,

from your face, and your voice, that I started to detest”!

“You look like a pig, and you grunt when you laugh,

and you don’t even smell fresh, and you could do with a bath”!

‘This girl’ didn’t even live in this town, what was she doing trespassing in this village for? This had to, either be a bad dream, that ‘ends-up’ with me falling out of my bed face first, in ‘Kamikaze style’, or it was punishment for an ill deed that I had done in a previous life?

I hadn’t been informed of this female addition, not that it would have altered the situation, because I needed this summer job, and the fact that it had also been offered to her, would be an issue that ‘I’ had to deal with! My previous experiences with her was at college, and I never really knew her ‘properly’, I’ll have to delete those earlier impressions of her irritating personality from my memory, which wasn’t easy! The ‘shifts’/or the periods of time that we both worked, would have to be sorted out between us, and so I had to speak with this girl, and I had to work with this girl, and hopefully she’ll be less irritating, and easier to get on with, because our previous college time together was stained with arguments, and bitterness, and this job, and us working together, was about as favourable as being kicked in the privates with a metal ‘toe capped boot’, that was applied by Englands finest football penalty taker!

There was some good news, and that was that our paths wouldn’t cross for too long everyday, and I had to endure the situation because I needed the money to support myself, and especially for the forthcoming University years, and to pay for the high fees, that were obviously required to teach a ‘low life’ like me, and in this small town, that only ‘came alive’ in the summer, then working in a bar, a cafeteria or a restaurant, was very popular, and a temporary occupation for many people, along with casual farm work, that I have done in previous years, ‘after which’ I went back to college still suffering from the torturous back pain, “and I was also featuring those things you get on your hands when you complete hard work………… ‘oh yeah’…blisters”!

“My hands had looked like I had been suffering with leprosy, and the back-ache caused me to develop a slow and careful walk, like I had just messed myself”!

“I still didn’t believe it, but I suppose I’d better say hello,

because I have to work with this girl, and I can’t afford to go”,

“I suppose she isn’t ‘that bad’, especially if you squint your eyes,

and her thoughts might be fascinating, and I might get a surprise”!

“She’s okay I suppose, and she’s ‘pulls her weight’(“does her fair share of work”),

and I could possibly….‘possibly’, ask her out on a date”?

“Because I’ve seen her around, when she’s been ‘out on the town’,

and she looks quite nice, when she’s tanned, and she’s brown”.

This kind of work, being a waiter or a waitress, especially when you’re very busy, rushing inside and outside again, was demanding, tiring, and remaining calm and polite was a challenge, especially when you have a customer’s child kicking you in the shins, after you’ve struggled to manoeuvre your way past a pushchair, chairs that have multi-layered coats on, that are made for wearing in the North Pole, and whilst you’re carrying a tray of hot teas, with a jug of hot water on it, and you have to serve the customers with a smile! It’s the moment when you create your own unique dictionary of words, and when you learn the art of ‘facial disguise’!

I was totally surprised by my female colleagues’ response to the parents of the child kicking my shins though, because I thought that she had the same feelings for me as I did for her, and that seeing me getting constantly kicked in the shins might make her laugh, and perhaps she’d mutter “hope it bloody hurts”, but she immediately approached the parents, and addressed the issue by saying “can you please control your child, my colleague is carrying a tray that has hot liquid on it, and you wouldn’t want him to spill it on your child would you”? Her words prompted an apology from the parents, who regained control of their child, and my female colleagues actions really surprised me!

I felt that her thoughtful action deserved a kind gesture, and I immediately thought of relaxing after work by having a drink with her, to which she accepted my offer, “so long as it wasn’t here”!

The thought of ‘staff discount’ never entered my mind, but it did sour my drinks later………… ‘only joking’, I didn’t mind paying £1.50 more, for a pint of beer that was already £6.00! (“Back in my day’, £6.00 would equal a good night out- “and if you’re wondering how old I am, then a good pint of lager was between £2.00 and £3.00”!)

I would see her in a ‘different light’(“and I don’t mean car headlights, because I made her walk on the road “!), she was kind, funny, and thoughtful, and I enjoyed my night out with her"…….

Those earlier experiences that I had with her, were obviously influenced by the company that she kept, and they were not replicated here, and I had a pleasant surprise!

“Sometimes girls can be surprising, and you learn that beauty runs deep,

whilst many of those with impeccable beauty, have personalities from a ‘dung heap”!

Those who are vain might look in the mirror throughout the day,

because you might feel like you’re a figure on public display,

but it takes hours of your time, and it can take ‘ages and ages’,

and your personality can change, in small and negative stages!

“Just be yourself, and your beauty might shine more,

and your true personality is ‘more natural’ than before”!

Don’t rely on makeup, and think about the very next day,

when your make-up has gone, and your partner screams “someone’s taken your face away”!

Be yourself, and work on beauty naturally,

‘get good sleep, drink natural water, and exercise maybe?

Have a fun personality, and don’t get so ‘uptight’,

about a trivial matter you’ve seen on a television program tonight!

We saw each other again at work, on the following day, and we both agreed that we had enjoyed our time together, and that we should do it again, because it was a relaxing and a pleasant time, but for now it was a ‘case of’ you get on with your work, and I’ll get on with mine”!