I Slapped the Wolf

The clink of glasses and the cacophony of too many conversations happening at once, broke through the haze that my mind had been hiding behind. The backyard garden was filled with tables of delectable finger foods, chilled beverages, and sweets that wouldn’t melt despite the heat. Waiters were weaving themselves in and out of the clusters of my parents' friends and, what society would deem as, their eligible sons. There were very few women my age at this soiree and it curdled my blood to think that my parents would do this.

It wasn’t the first time that they had so blatantly tried to set me up with a man of their choosing. However, this was the first time they had thrown a party hoping for the same result. I didn’t always like my parents but I had to give them credit- they had panache when it came to getting what they wanted. I humored them for the first hour of my personal hell and then fled like my sanity depended on it… because it did. I was hiding behind the tree next to our raised patio; praying that no one found me and nursing a glass of red wine that I had swiped from my mother's secret stash.

I should be at The Enchanted Nook helping Mrs. Jefferson set up for Thomas’ memorial. It had only been two months since that car hit Thomas but my parents were acting as if he had never existed. This party was their attempt to replace their heir and get a child that they would actually be proud of. Thomas hadn’t belonged in this world and neither did I. I knew this, my parents knew this, and every “eligible bachelor” here knew it. That’s why the men were sticking near their buddies and I was able to hide without anyone finding me. I didn’t mind though, my place was The Enchanted Nook and I wished I was there.

Helping to set up Thomas’ picture on the wall of his favorite booth.

Setting the spotlight to hit the piano bench where he used to sit.

Draping the piano in a black fabric until the whole thing was covered.

Leaving a single empty glass next to a full bottle of his favorite whiskey on the piano.

It wasn’t much but it was so much more meaningful than what my parents had done. The Jefferson’s were celebrating who Thomas was and how he lived his life. While my parents had a quick closed casket ceremony with an extravagant “somber” party after. The day of Thomas’ funeral, my parents barely uttered his name but rather changed the subject whenever he was brought up in conversation. I was thankful that the Jefferson’s were giving Thomas the send off that he deserved. I was thankful for this chosen family that Thomas and I had stumbled upon. I knew I had to get out of there and be around people that understood me. I started to take stock of just how many people were outside; to see if I could sneak away, when I heard a voice that had haunted me throughout my childhood.

The voice of a boy parading around as a man. A voice that sounded deep, at first, but if you truly listened you could hear a strain to it that revealed that the speaker’s natural decibel was not that low. A voice that spoke a lot of intellectual words and statements with enough confidence behind them that you almost believed them until you realized that what they were saying didn’t actually make sense. A charismatic voice with only true wicked intention behind it. A voice that was trying to hide the wolf within the sheep’s skin.

His name left my mouth in a growl, “Paul.”

I looked out from behind my hiding spot and saw Paul standing on our raised patio, preaching to the group of other boys that surrounded him. Just avoid him and get out of here. My eyes clocked all the possible hindrances that could stop me from leaving as my mind decided to escape into the house through the side door that led into the kitchen. I took one last large swig from my wine glass and started to head for the door. I was only a few steps away from freedom and thanking my lucky stars for it when Paul’s next comment floated to my ears.

“No, no, this little soiree that the James’ have put together doesn’t surprise me.”

I looked at the door, my escape, that was directly in front of me but turned my head towards Paul’s voice. It would be so simple to leave and not worry about whatever tomfoolery Paul was saying. But, my curiosity got the better of me and I ended up hiding behind the corner of our house eavesdropping on Paul’s conversation.

“Lillian always was rather strange while we were growing up. Of course, she’s having trouble finding a husband by herself. I mean who would want to deal with a woman that can’t keep her mouth closed, can’t cook, and tries to talk about topics that she truly has no idea about? If you ask me, I’m surprised her parents haven’t done this type of dog and pony show sooner. Although, with Thomas now gone, I assume that they’re getting desperate even though his death has almost been a saving grace for the James'.”

My hand tightened around the wine glass so tight that I thought I was going to break it and I was physically biting down on my tongue so I wouldn't interrupt him. Paul chuckled, “Thomas was just as strange as his sister and sneaking out to a gin joint every night? What could he have possibly been thinking? That man was more concerned with the keys of a piano rather than the keys to a kingdom that his father was handing him. I tried to explain that to Thomas, but him and his bullheadedness wouldn’t hear of it. You know he actually tried to convince me that there was more to this world than money and power. Can you believe that? I told him that that was an incredibly stupid thing to claim and that, if he truly believed it, that he was just a stupid as he looked.”

Paul paused to take a sip of his drink and then sighed, “Oh well, I suppose. One less flat tire that we’ll have to deal with at these types of gatherings, right?”

How dare he talk about Thomas in this way! Thomas was twice the man that Paul could ever be and Paul had the gall to say these things about him! I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer! I rushed out from behind my hiding spot and marched towards Paul. “That’s all bunk, Paul and you know it!”

All the men swiveled their heads towards me. A few of them had the decency to look embarrassed about agreeing with Paul but I paid them no attention. I was only focused on one thing, the cheese-eating grin on Paul’s face. A part of my mind was telling me to calm down, to walk away, that I was playing right into Paul’s hand but I was already going and couldn’t stop myself. “You think you’re so much better than Thomas was. Thomas could have run circles around you if he had wanted to but he had the decency to treat you like a human being. Something I consistently tried to talk him out of considering the slimy, slithering snake that you are. You were always jealous of him- hell he’s dead and you still can’t stop talking about him. My brother doesn’t even have a pulse and you’re still threatened by the idea of his presence.”

Paul’s jaw tightened and I knew that I had hit a sore spot for him. He swallowed whatever words had gotten stuck in his throat, “Is that right, Lillian? Well, as much as I would love to indulge your womanly outburst, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the many flaws in your statements. Thomas, no matter how much potential he once possessed, was abhorrent and a disgrace- in the end. If he had been any sort of a decent man, he would’ve gone into the family business and ensured that his washout of a sister was married. Instead, the halfwit went and died a disgraceful death to match his disgraceful life. All that did was cause all these men to be at a dog and pony show so your parents can try to marry you off in order to save themselves some face from the embarrassment of their children.” Paul raised his glass as if to take a drink and then pause, “Or should I say child.”

Despite myself, I looked at the others- hoping that someone would come to Thomas’ aid but they all just stood there. Drinks in their hands and smirks on their faces as they stared at me. My emotions were getting the better of me. I knew this, I could feel them bubbling up as the edges of my vision turned red. Before I could think it through, the hand with my wine glass was shooting forward as the wine leapt from its glass cage and splattered itself all over Paul’s face and tan suit.

The joy I felt at seeing the shock on Paul’s face as red wine soaked into his expensive suit was short lived. Paul’s lips curled into a snarl, “You bitch” he loudly growled at me. He aggressively grabbed me by my upper arm. I tried to wrench my arm free but his fingers were digging into my skin as if they were nails connecting the railroad tracks to the earth floor. Paul stepped closer to me until I could feel his breath on my cheek, “You’re going to pay for that.”

I couldn’t help but let Paul’s arrogance burn me up. He was no man- he knew it and I knew it and that’s why he hated me so. I wouldn’t let this little boy who was playing at being a man disgrace Thomas’ name. “You. Need. To. Let. Me. Go.” I said it as slowly and in as deep of a voice as I could manage.

Paul matched my tone, “You. Need. To. Make. Me.”

Once again, before I could think it through my hand was whipping through the air and slapped Paul right across his smug face. Paul stumbled back- not because the slap had all the much force behind it but mostly from surprise that a woman had struck him. A red mark was already appearing on his cheek but its color was no match to the red that was appearing from beneath Paul’s collar. Paul’s eyes were ablaze with rage and embarrassment. He stood for a second looking at the group of men that had been hanging on his every word just moments ago but that were now hiding their chuckles and smiles behind their drink glasses. Paul raised his hand and he stormed towards me to return my strike when a deep voice of authority called out from behind me.

“What is going on here?!”

I turned to see my father walking towards us, almost at a leisurely pace to ensure that no unwanted attention was brought to the situation at hand. I quickly snuck a look at Paul only to see that his hands were now behind his back and that a mask of cool but slight irritation had replaced the fury that was there moments before. My father was now standing next to me and inclined his head, “Gentlemen, I hope you’ve all been having a grand time. There seemed to be something that was getting the bees buzzin so I thought I would give it a look myself. Is everything alright here?”

I opened my mouth to explain to my father the horrendous things that Paul had been saying about Thomas when Paul cleared his throat. My father went from looking at me to looking at Paul, “Mr. James, I’m so glad that you came over here when you did. You see, me and the other chaps here were just reminiscing about our dear old departed friend Thomas when Lillian started having a fit. She was screaming and berating me, sir. I offered to walk her inside as I’m sure the sun was getting to her head when she threw her drink on me and then slapped me in the face. Now, I know that ladies can have their moments but this was quite an expensive suit sir and I’m a tad upset at it being ruined because I was just trying to be a gentleman.”

“Father that isn’t eve-”

“Lillian,” my father didn’t yell but it was the same tone of voice that I had learned to quiet down to my entire life. I wish I could say that the look of disappointment on his face was something new but, unfortunately, it was a look I was well accustomed to. My father turned his gaze back towards Paul, “My dear boy, I am quite sorry for the ruckus that my daughter has caused you gentlemen. She is still taking the death of her brother rather hard and I’m afraid that nothing her mother or I do at this point seems to be helping her move on. I will gladly pay for you to get a new suit- a suit of the finest options. Once again, I severely apologize for my daughter’s behavior.”

“Your daughter is right here and I can speak for myself. I’m not sorry in the slightest- now the appearance of his suit matches his seedy personality.”

“That’s enough,” my father forcibly said to me. I wanted to speak up for myself but knew that it would fall on deaf ears. “Lillian, I think that you have embarrassed me and this young man enough today. You will go upstairs to your room and wait for me to come talk to you.”

Again, I was biting my tongue to stop any sharp words from coming out. Instead, I inclined my head and turned to walk inside but was stopped by a hand grabbing my wrist. “Just know, Lillian,” Paul’s smirk was nothing if not predatory, “that I forgive you and I know that you’re just really struggling with the death of Thomas. It’s to be expected or at least it’s what I would expect from a woman.”

I ground my teeth together to stop from slapping him, luckily, he let me go and I stomped off to my room. I knew that I was playing into the story that I was acting childish but stomping away felt necessary at that moment.

Paul and I had always been at each other's throats, but this time was different. This time he had disparaged my brother and thrown me into the doghouse with my father. I made a vow to myself in that moment that I would expose Paul's true personality to everyone that he "cared" about.