Love Letters

My Dearest Hannah,

I am writing this letter to tell you how I feel about you. In this day and age of the internet and instant gratification I am choosing to go old school with this letter. Mainly because it will give me a few days to prepare myself for your response and because in a small way I find it kind of romantic sending this love letter through the mail sealed with a kiss. It seems much more personal in a way too. So here goes.

Hanna I have loved you since the very first time we met. We were only five years old and at the time I didn’t know what love was but I knew even then that I never wanted to be without you. It seemed so natural that we became best friends that day playing on the jungle gym as the sun shined from above us. I remember how I thought it was neat how the sun’s rays played with the little red strands in your hair. Then though it was just friendship.

As the years passed and we both grew up it became a little bit more until finally I realized I loved you and always had. I didn’t see the subtle signs right away but one day as we were talking the sun hit your light brown hair and made the red strands in it sparkle again as it had when we were children. It was like that sparkle woke something in me and I finally saw you not just as my best friend but as an actual girl. I know that sounds lame but we have known each other so long that by that point that I didn’t see you as a girl, just my best friend. I knew then that we were meant to be together. The world had brought us together all those years ago for this reason.

I guess my point in writing this is to tell you that I love you and I would love it if you felt the same way and we could be together as more than friends. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I still want to remain friends either way I just wanted to let you know how I feel and hope against hope that you feel the same way.

Yours Truly,

Alexander

Alexander signed the letter and indeed sealed it with a kiss. His heart was hammering in his chest as he walked to put the letter in the mailbox at the corner of his block. He put the letter in the big blue mailbox at the end of the block instead of his own so that he couldn’t chicken out, couldn’t change his mind before the mail was picked up. This way once it was in the blue box it was out of his control, he had to accept the consequences of sending it as soon as it cleared the slot and was out of reach. Then he just had to wait and see what happened.

Hannah was surprised when she checked her mail one day and there was a letter, an actual letter, in the box. She was even more surprised to see that the letter was from Alexander. She smiled brightly at the letter and felt her heart soar even before she opened it. When she opened it and read it her heart sang. She has loved him for a long time and to know he felt the same way was more than she had hoped for. With tears still in her eyes she wrote him a return letter and put it in the mail the same day.

My Dearest Alexander,

I received your letter this morning and I must say I was very excited. It made me very happy to know that you feel the exact same way about me as I do about you. I will admit it took me a little longer to realize it. I have felt the same way for years but was too afraid to say anything for fear that you did not feel the same way. I worried that it would ruin our friendship. I treasure our friendship so much and have for years. I’d hate to lose it. While I do love you as well I still worry that if we discover our love to be a fleeting thing that it will ruin our friendship. I am not sure I am ready to try and find out just yet. However, like you, I am going to be brave. I am going to give our love a chance to grow and bloom into something beautiful. Promise me one thing though. No matter how long we are with each other you will always send me love letters, always sealed with a kiss, through the mail.

Forever Yours,

Hannah

About seven days later Alexander found a letter from Hanna in his mailbox. He was nervous at first but when he turned the letter over he saw a little heart sticker where the top flap of the envelope met the body of the envelope and he actually giggled in excitement. He was so excited he stood on the porch and read the letter right away. He had to read it a couple of times to make sure it actually said what he thought it did.

My Dearest Hannah,

I am over the moon at receiving your letter and hearing that you feel the same way I do. I whole heartedly promise that from this day forth I will send you love letters every day of our lives no matter what. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us. I understand your fear of this ruining our friendship but I think we should give it a go. We will never know what our future would be like together if we don’t try. I fear we would regret at least not trying. I would love to be able to promise nothing would change with our friendship if our relationship did not work but I have to be realistic and say it might. I truly hope it does not though.

I cannot wait until our first official date as a couple. I plan on calling you after I write this to ask you out but then you’ll know that by the time this letter reaches you.

Love Always,

Alexander

They went on their date and it was wonderful. Hannah’s head was in the clouds as she walked through the door that night. She didn’t realize she could ever be so happy. When she slept that night she dreamed of what her life could be like with Alexander. Like real life it had its ups and downs but they were happy. They had children and everything they could ever want.

When she woke the next morning she was smiling both from her dreams and from their date the night before. She was still smiling when she checked the mail an hour or so later. In the box was another letter from her Alexander. She stopped as she realized what she had just thought. Smiling, she decided that she liked that he was her Alexander and she was his Hannah. The letter was perfect. It was nice to know that he had the same fears she did. In a way it helped her more than she thought it would. He was right of course they owed it to themselves to at least try the relationship even if it fizzled out. She sat at her kitchen table and wrote a response to Alexander’s letter right away.

My Dearest Alexander,

Our date last night was everything I had hoped it would be and more. I am very glad we decided to give it a go. I look forward to many more dates and many more years together. I hope that saying that doesn’t frighten you. It makes me very happy to say it. I want nothing more than to have many many more years together and grow old with you. I look forward to everything from the smallest thing to the biggest. As long as I have you by my side, life will be wonderful. No matter what challenges life holds for us we will face them together and be stronger because of them.

I cannot wait to see you again. In fact I’m not going to wait. As I am sitting here writing this letter a plan for later this afternoon is forming. I have decided to pack us a picnic lunch in the nice wicker basket you got me for christmas last year and drive us out to the park for a romantic picnic in nature. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that both the weather holds out and the mosquitoes aren’t too bad. I will talk to you soon.

Love Always,

Hannah

They had many years like this, writing to each other everyday. They married two years after the first letter on the exact date Alexander sent it. Then one day after having three children and grandchildren everything changed. That one day broke Hannah’s heart like nothing ever had or will again. Alexander was at work when he had a stroke. Then he died before she could get to his side in the hospital. She cried as she sat next to his hospital bed. She cried about losing him. She cried as her heart broke into a million pieces. Finally she walked out of her husband’s room hours later a nurse was waiting for her with her hands full of Alexander’s belongings. Seeing her husband’s life reduced to a bundle of clothes and shoes broke her heart even more. She took the clothes with a nod of thanks then walked to her car in a fog of grief and disbelief. When she arrived at her car she just sat inside shocked and broken. She cried so much she barely had any tears left.

Then three days after her husband’s funeral while at her husband’s office she found a letter, his last letter to her and cried before she could even read it. The letter was written the day he died.

My Dearest Hannah,

As I am sitting at my desk I’m thinking back on our lives together and find myself still after all these years the happiest man alive. You gave me everything I have ever wanted in life and so very much more. We have three beautiful children and nine beautiful grandchildren, plus the one on the way. I often wonder if I could have given you more. If I could have made you even happier than you have made me. I hope that we will have many more years together but I want you to know that the years we’ve been together have been the best years of my life and there is absolutely nothing I would change even if I could.

By the time you read this we will be getting ready to go on a trip I secretly planned for our anniversary. I hope that this trip will bring us even closer together, if that is even possible. Most of our lives I have felt like we are one person, one heartbeat, one soul and I wanted to celebrate that. I want to tell the universe that we are one love, one life, one heart. So my dearest heart I cannot wait to see what the rest of our lives has in store for us.

Love Forever,

Alexander

Inside the envelope were two airplane tickets to Denver Colorado. She knew instantly where they were supposed to go. He had set up a romantic get away to Estes Park. They had spent their honeymoon weekend in Estes Park. Even before that they had spent a lot of time in Estes Park and the Rocky Mountain National Park. He had set up the trip as a reminder of their love story. With the letter and plane tickets in hand she left her husband's office to go home and grieve and write Alexander a letter.

My Dearest Alexander,

You are not here with me any longer and I am heartbroken at the prospect of living the remainder of my life without you in it. I am scared at the thought of what the rest of my life holds for me. I no longer look forward to each day because you are not here to live life with me. I remind myself every moment of every day that you are here by my side even if I can’t see you.

I found your last letter when I cleaned out your office today. I cried at seeing your last words to me and at the little trip you had planned for us to one of the places where our love first took hold. I am on the fence about whether or not I should go but perhaps I will. I want to honor our love. I want to relive those first moments together. What I really want is to do those things with you. You are forever in my heart no matter our distance. I will be brave for you now like I was when we first decided to embrace our love for each other. It will not be easy I know but I will do it for you and for our love until we meet again.

Love Eternally,

Hannah

Hannah went on the trip with her oldest granddaughter Alexandra, named after her grandfather, and found herself smiling more than crying. Telling Alexandra about the times she and Alexander had spent in Estes Park helped her heal a little. It helped her realize just how lucky she was to have had Alexander in her life, to be able to love him and have him love her in return.

As she sat one day at a picnic table near one of the lakes in the Rocky Mountain National Park Hannah recalls sitting in the exact same spot with Alexander decades ago. So with pen and paper she wrote him a letter.

My Dearest Alexander,

I am here. I took the trip with our granddaughter Alexandra. I had forgotten just how beautiful the area was. It’s been way too long since our last visit. You would love the cabin you chose for us. It is close enough to town that we can walk to parts of it but still close enough to nature that there are trees and hills behind it.

I have been so sad since your passing and will remain so but this place, our place filled with happiness and love is healing my heartbreak allowing the happiness to outweigh the sadness most of the time. I wish I could stay here forever surrounded by nature and our memories but hiding from the truth is not healthy. I hope to return every year for as long as I can though. I love the mountains and animals but mostly I want to return to remember us and our love. Until we meet again my love.

Eternally Yours,

Hannah