Life therefore after party.

There I sat under a tree at top of a hill. What I can’t say is how I got there, the duration of time I’ve spent there, what species of tree it is, nor where in the world I was currently. What can say with certainty is that I feel connection and contentment. 

That was until one day, as the light and colour shone the brightest before taking their leave of absence, leaving all the shapes and forms in various shades of darkness. I became aware of some kind of afterlife apparition.

It lingered at the foot of the hill like one of those unpleasantly wet farts that had managed to escape from a pair of nervously clenched buttocks at a party. It repulsed me like discovering a piece of half eaten healthy snack that a child had discarded down the side of a couch. 

When it knew I was aware of it, I was filled with the same dreaded anxiety that you get when you’re heading down a busy street at lunch time, and you inadvertently make eye contact with a customer sales representative for some unknown charity, and you’re too polite to just keep walking. 

It ponst it’s way up the hill like one of those helium filled novelty balloon, that was wilfully trying to move with the same mechanical grace of a horse on a carousel. 

I let it speak first, as I got the hunch that this entity prefers to talk at, than to talk with. It spoke in a way that was trying to be grand, but it just sounded like someone talking on a cellphone from the bottom of the ocean. Introducing itself with some unrealistic fantastical name that I instantly forgot, so I name it Garry the ghoul.  

“Hi? I’m Terrance, or maybe it terry, or it is Tom or Tim. I’m not really sure.” I replied.

“All yeah, that’s quite common, it’s happened a lot in the afterlife, forgetting.”

“Oh really?” I said, realising for the first time that I must of die. 

“Dead long?” It gurgled

“No idea.” I said sheepishly as it grinched and waffled, making it impossible to direct my speech at it.

“It’s has to be less than a year, I didn’t you at the Halloween summoning Last Year. It’s Coming up real soon. Can you believe it?” It spoke like it was blowing through a piece of paper on a plastic comb. 

“I’m starting to. Is it a summoning or an invitation?” I asked, as this party started to sound like one of those team building meetings you do at work. 

“A bit of both, it’s an invite really but some of us afterlife folks struggle with directions, so a summoning is a good way to make sure we all get there. It call the ‘The therefore ever after party’ for all of us afterlife folks in this area. Held in the valley of the quickening where no living soul would dare enter. You’re gonna wanna be there. It’s the party to die for. Get you it. Hahaha. Cause we’re dead you see.”

“Yes, I get it.” I would of thought once your dead you longer have to deal with annoying people that feel the need to explain their jokes, but hey.

“look for me, I’ll introduce to you to my fiends.. You’re not wanna miss it, it’s gonna be a real screamer!” Garry the ghoul gargled and dissipated, leaving me in peace once again.

This encounter made me realise how much I’ve loved going to party. So needless to say I had a little bit of anticipation about this ‘ life therefore ever’ party. Fortunately for me I had no longer had any way of measuring time. I was here at my tree, then I was there in the valley of the quickening. 

My first impression was it was loud. It buzzed, clanged and jingles. Everything bustle and brunch. Then I was approached what I assumed was Garry the ghoul, looking a badly pieced together jigsaw puzzle. “

Let me introduce you to some of fiends.” Sounding he had a piece of tin foil stuck to his tonsils. 

“This is Steve.” He said before he broke into a whisper, he got bitten, then shot by a silver bullet, don’t say anything about it. He’s quite sensitive about it., Steve let out a howl.

“ Thelma, Delma, and Belma. Three witch sisters that were burnt at the stake. It’s a bit of a sore point. 

“Dr Richmond.” He turned said in a very laboured murmur “Brains”. 

“A once brilliant doctor that got bitten by a test subject. And then ate his brains, definitely don’t mention that. 

“And yes, here’s the life of the party!” Garry the ghoul yelp excitedly.

Appearing from somewhere, in manner of way that announces to everyone that you are here, and you’re the important person in the room. I not saying that his appearance wasn’t grand, it’s was great theatrics. I just was starting to feel a little uncertain. about it all. 

“It’s doomsayer Derrick.” shriek Garry the ghoul. Then all the afterlife apparitions started chanting, even I joined in. 

“Doomsayer Derrick, Doomsayer Derrick!.”

It was fun, but I’m really not sure what a doomsayer is. And Derrick might of been a big, menacing figure when he was alive, but menace without any physical mass isn’t really that menacing. I’m not sure if he would have wore that outfit in the living world. 

“Doomsayer Derrick, Doomsayer Derrick.”

Derrick responded by throwing up his arm and violently pointing it at tree setting into flames. 

“Gather around! It time to curse that, that has killed us. Curse those who wronged us!”

The crowd erupted into moans, waves of curses fanned and fed the frame. The tree now became a fury inferno. 

“I curse silver bullets! I curse those that hunted me!” 

“I curse the zombie plague!”

“I curse the witch trials!”

I suddenly felt the need to remember what had killed me. 

“I cursed cancer!, I cursed cancer.” I raged. 

“ I curse…” then I hesitated as I looked around at this summoning, I couldn’t help but wonder, that this is a bit ‘of what comes first, the chicken or the egg situation.’  I Mean did these afterlife apparitions influence Halloween celebrations of the living , or did these afterlife apparitions get influenced by the Halloween celebrations in their previous life?

Then I got stuck by great anxiety, being in a crowd of people with no physicality meant there was no way of maintaining personal space. Then there no measure of time. Everybody was in and around me curses everything under the sun, not starting anywhere, and never ending. And how on earth do I even curse cancer? 

“Curse those who have wronged you” doomsayer Derrick boomed again and again. 

I looked at the tree and into the fire. Then the last words my daughter spoke came into my head. “I love you, I don’t want you to go, but you’re suffering, go in peace dad.” 

“I don’t curse cancer, I don’t curse everyone, who for what reason wrong me. I let it all go.”

With that said I arrived back under my tree on the hill feeling peaceful, connected and contented.