Ghosts of a Shared Life

TW: Mentions of Suicide/mental health

(plz don't judge too harshly, this is my first short story)

I was back in my hometown… wait, what was I doing there. I hadn’t been there in years. Not sense, well, not sense…

The last time I was here was with her… We were best friends, no, we were closer than that. We were basically sisters. I thought that I knew everything about her. I didn’t see the signs until it was to late. I didn’t know about the nights she spent awake, thinking about if anyone would miss her. I didn’t know about her parents making her feel worthless. They expected perfection, and didn’t accept anything less.

So when she had finally built up the courage to tell her patients that she loved someone, they immediately demanded to know who it was. Once she told them, they said that she would either have to leave their house immediately, or tell the person that she actually didn’t like them. She was only 15. That wasn’t even close to the worst thing they’ve done. One time they one grounded her for 3 months for getting a 94 on a test, a 94! the next best grade was a 78… They made her work for her phone, and when she got it, it had all sorts of tracking apps.

So when she ended her life, I knew why. But I still blame myself. If I just tried harder, maybe she would still be here… She was funny and kind and an amazing person. and i miss her. i was broken without her. she was my everything. I couldn’t stand to be in this town, without her. it felt… wrong. it felt like a part of me was missing, no, a part of me was missing. she was my other half. I had promised to never come back to this place. I don’t even know why I’m here right now. maybe to say goodbye one last time. to try to heal.

I got flowers from the shop, down by my old home. And set out on my way to the graveyard. It was surreal, being back in this town. It felt both like nothing had changed, and like it was entirely different. While I was walking, I saw our old tree house. “Do Not Enter” was written on the doorway. I climbed in, expecting to see new posters, and decorations, placed by new kids in the area. But it was exactly the same. I was flooded with memories, all of the emotions that I had been bottling up for years came out all at once. so i sat on the floor. crying, clutching one of her old stuffed animals to my chest.

I remember the days of us sitting on the floor of the tree house, talking loudly.

I found my old journal, well it’s not really a journal. It’s a old binder, filled with letters that we would write back and forth. because rosas parents were so strict, we couldn’t text about anything important. One time we did, her parents read it, and took away her phone for 3 months. So we made a little mailbox in our tree house, we would just write letters to each other. I flipped through the pages, they were a little damaged (from water leaking into the tree house). But they were still intact. They were one of the few pieces of rosa I had left.

Hey,

sorry wasn’t able to show up at the meeting spot today, I was busy with homework. By the time I realized that I had told u we were going to meet there, it was already like 6. But I will be there tomorrow, I promise.

-Your best friend, Rose

She never sowed up, this letter was written the night before she took her life.

hiiii,

It’s fine. I understand, I’ve done that before 2 lol

Anyways, do you want to go get some ice cream tomorrow, I know it’s random, but it’ll be my treat. I know that this my seem weird to say but. I’m so glad your my best (and only) friend your so funny, and kind, and I don’t think you hear that enough. So, anyways, I’ll see you at 3:30 in our usual spot.

-Your bestie, Sabrina

Ps. Where your blue shirt that matches mine

I found out about her death after school that day, at exactly 3:30. It felt like the world was mocking me. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping. I didn’t know how to be a person without her. She was my other half, without her, it felt like something was missing, something was missing, her. I became a shell of my former self. I spent every waking moment in that tree house, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she would be there, at our meeting spot, like she had promised. I remembered about the flowers, why I had even been walking by the tree house in the first place. So I grabbed the flowers I got, and my “journal” and started walking again. When I got to her headstone I saw only a few, withered flowers. I saw a name tag on them, they were given to her by one of her friends, not her parents, one of her friends. I hung my head low, crying. I knelt down to the ground and left the flowers. I wished, silently that it was me that died, not her. I herd 2 voices behind me, wait, I recognized those voices. I spun around, and there they were. Her parents, standing there, talking to each other, like they weren’t at their only daughters grave. I wanted to scream, cry, hit them, do anything. But I just stood there. Remembering why I promised to never come back. I couldn’t stand to run into the people who are the reason I am only half of myself. The people who are the reason I lost my best friend. I tried to talk, to say something. But I couldn’t make a sound, it was like I was frozen. I wanted to run away, leave this town, for forever this time. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t just leave her again. So I didn’t…