Fishing Journal

May 8

I’m writing this journal in case I get lost at sea. If my boat is ever found, there will be record of my harrowing story. I’m leaving port this afternoon. I’m planning to spend the whole night out on the water, but the sea has been fickle these past weeks, so we’ll see if she gives me a storm. If she does, this will be a very short journal.

May 9

There was no storm, but there were no fish either. I could’ve sworn I saw something below the waves just before dawn. Much too large to fit in a one man vessel, but not large enough to break one either. I don’t know, maybe it was just the exhaustion and the fog.

May 12

It’s the strangest thing. I keep seeing that same shadow underneath my boat, even during the day. I swear, whatever it is, it needs to find another fishing ground. I’ve been fishing these waters since I was a boy and the boat was still manned by my father. If I see it again, I’m going to trail a net behind my boat. I’ll either scare it away, or have something that’ll really pull some eyes at the markets.

May 13

That’s it. I’m buying a net.

May 14

It’s, well, I’m not sure what it is. It’s a young woman, I suppose, but not human. I cast my net, and after a few moments, I could feel it struggling. It put up a mighty fight, but I got it back to my shack on the docks, but after pulling it out of the water, now what?

May 15

I didn’t go fishing today. I stayed home with her. I kept her nearby by rigging the net as a sort of cage around the dock where I keep my boat. I know it seems cruel, but I think she’s hurt, and I don’t know if she would survive out there around the sharks. She’s scared of me. I don’t blame her. I’m gonna try to gain her trust so that I can help her at least. I know she isn’t human, but the way she looks at me. I just can’t do it. She’s looks so sad staring out at the ocean. I understand. If I ever lost my boat, I’d probably stare out from the shore same as her.

May 17

She ate something! It may have been out of desperation, or maybe I finally brought her the right fish, but she took it when I gave it to her. She still hid below the water while she was eating. Probably thought I’d try to take it back again. I noticed she was looking around the inside of my shack with some curiosity today. But when she saw me looking, she got startled and hid beneath the water again. I hope she starts to trust me more. I’m just trying to help her.

May 20

I think she understands that I’m not going to hurt her at least, and that’s a start. Tom came by the shack today and asked me why I hadn’t been in the markets this week. I told him that I had to make some repairs to the boat. I don’t know if he bought it, but it got him out of my hair at least. I made her hide behind it while he was here, and I had to distract him when he tried to inspect it himself. I had never felt so panicked in my life. I’m not sure why, but I don’t want anyone else to know about her. People in this town are awful superstitious. Might be better if she wasn’t seen at all, and leaves as soon as possible.

May 23

I was mending my lines today, and she was resting her arms and head on the dock and watching me. I tried not to look as not to spook her, but I couldn’t stop myself. She almost hid again, but I managed to coax her back to the surface. The leg that got twisted in the net seems to be healing well, but she still seems a little sore, so she can’t go home yet. I decided that I might as well talk to her since she’s here. I don’t think she understood a word I said, but I showed her some simple ways to tie a hook onto a line. It was nice to have someone here with me. Reminds me of when my father was teaching me my first knots. She pricked her finger on the hook and threw it across the shack. When was the last time there had been any laughter in this house?

May 25

I think she’s better, but I don’t want her to go. I’ve gotten used to her presence, and even though she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, I’ve never enjoyed talking to someone more. I can’t keep her here forever, it wouldn’t be right. I have to let her go. It’s fine. I was used to living alone before. It’ll be easy to live without her curious looks, and her strange, but pretty laugh. It will be easy to live without someone to teach, and someone to care about it. I’ve done it for years. Why should it be any different now?

May 26

I let her go. Like a fool, I thought she might have wanted to stay. That maybe she would’ve looked back even once. But no. The moment I cut the net, she gasped with joy and dove into the water, disappearing from sight. I suppose I should go fishing now. I have nothing else to do here. Why should I stay in this shack when my heart is out at sea?

June 27

It’s been a while since I had the energy and wherewithal to write in this journal, but something strange is happening. I swear I’m seeing different rocks under my boat each morning when I start on my way out to sea. I’ve even seen a few pieces of coral appear that weren’t there before. I suppose maybe those were broken off and washed in with the tide. Although I had resolved to forget her, seeing the colors under my boat almost made me think it was her. I swear I’m just a fool.

June 29

There’s definitely more coral here than before. I thought I saw a familiar shadow darting away when I arrived back to the shack early this morning. I think it was just a trick of the light reflecting on the waves. I need to forget her before I go completely insane.

July 1

She was here. She really was. I’m not crazy. I saw her placing some pieces of coral underneath the dock for my boat. She seemed to be arranging and rearranging them into a different pattern. I tried to approach quietly, but she saw me and darted away, hiding her face. I really have no idea what to think.

July 3

I almost didn’t see her poking her head above the dock this morning, but I caught a glimpse of black hair disappear behind the dock, and slowly she rose back up. She wouldn’t look me in the eyes and almost looked… bashful? I don’t know if mermaid emotions are like human emotions, but that’s what it seemed like to me. I walked closer and looked in, and she had made some sort of structure out of the coral. She seemed to be watching me intently for my reaction, and I smiled and told her it looked lovely. Even though my words were lost on her, my meaning was not. She laughed throwing back her head into the water and then with a smile, shot off under the waves. I don’t know how I was blessed to receive such a gift from a mermaid, but I guess this means I don’t have to forget her now.

July 4

She was back this morning. I saw her sleepily drifting out of the coral she had placed, with her hair drifting in the currents with bits of seaweed caught in the tangles. When she saw me staring at her, she suddenly looked at her hair, squealed, and shot back into her coral hideout. When she came back out she was looking embarrassed and seaweed free. Does she really care that much about seaweed since she lives underwater? Or did she think that I would care? Why would she care what I think?

July 11

Okay, so I think we live together now? She was sleeping in the coral again. I thought that it was just a sculpture or some sort of mermaid-gift-thing, but it’s actually a little home. I ate breakfast with her this morning. I was sitting on the floor, and she just had her shoulders and head above the water, but it was nice. It was the nicest meal I had had in a while. I hope this isn’t temporary. I like having breakfast this way.

July 15

I’ve been talking to her a lot, and I think she’s starting to actually understand some of it. I was telling her how I was going to need to by new hooks soon, and she grabbed the finger that she had pricked as if protecting it from further attack. Has she been able to understand me the whole time? Has she heard me every time I told her how beautiful she was? Part of me hopes she didn’t and part of me hopes she did. It would be pretty embarrassing either way I suppose.

July 21

She almost came completely out of the water today. When I went to eat breakfast with her, she pulled herself out of the water, and sat on the dock with her feet dangling in. I immediately covered my eyes and gave her my coat. Mermaids don’t wear clothing I suppose, but she moves so fast under the water, I never noticed. She obligingly put on my coat, and I could’ve sworn that she was blushing. Maybe I’m just projecting my own emotions into the situation though. She looked so small under my coat. I think I might love her, but if I told her that, would she feel the same? If I told her, would she even understand?

July 30

I was able to coax her all the way to the table today. I bought her a couple of dresses because none of my pants would have fit over her fins. She was absolutely dreamlike. She saw me staring at her, and avoided my gaze. I hope I didn’t make her uncomfortable. Once I started talking about lures and knots, everything was back to normal again. I feel like I talk too much, but I’m so flustered around her, I don't know how to stop. She’s definitely starting to understand more of what I’m saying though. She even laughed at one of my jokes! It’s a strange sort of laugh, high pitched, but soft. It’s beautiful.

August 15

Today she said my name. It was the first time she spoke, and the shock almost gave me a heart attack. All she could manage was “Alias, thank you”. Her voice was soft like a windchime. She looked at me with such an innocent and sincere feeling, that I didn’t push for anymore. If she never speaks again, that will be enough for me.

August 21

I’ve been fishing more these days because the fish have been biting more. When I got home today, she wouldn’t look at me. She mostly just stayed in her hideout. I’ve skipped breakfast the last few days, but she can catch her own food. Does she care that much about eating together? I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I don’t want her to hate me. She could leave anytime she wanted to, so I have to be careful. Maybe if I get her some of her favorite fish, I can make it up to her.

August 25

I’ve been careful to have meals with her the last few days, and she seems happier. She’s started talking more too. She said that she’s been hiding by the markets during the day while I’m gone so that she can learn more. She has a very cute accent. I wonder if I should tell her how I feel about her soon. I don’t want to scare her off. She’s brought something to my life that I’ve never felt before, and I don’t want that to end.

September 1

I’m such a coward. I keep trying to bring it up, but I always chicken out. She gave me a sand dollar that she found today as a gift. I wanted to tell her, but the words got stuck in my throat and I just muttered my gratitudes. I’m not a man, I’m just a little boy.

September 2

I told her that I love her, and she just said it right back. She seemed a little bit embarrassed about it, but she didn’t even hesitate. Does she really know what it means? Does she think it means something else and she just misunderstood? And what if she didn’t misunderstand? I’m so confused, but I’m too flustered to bring it up again today. I just need to go to bed.

September 5

I talked to her again today, and asked her if she knew what “I love you” means. She told me that she wouldn’t have married me if she didn’t love me. I was too stunned to speak for what felt like forever. I asked her what she meant, and she said that she had built her nest in my house, and I had approved of her moving in, so what did I mean? I have never been happier in my life. She told me that she thought I was just more reserved and respectful and that she didn’t mind those attributes at all. We’ve been married for months and I didn’t know!

September 8

She kissed me today. She kissed me before I left and wished me good luck with my angling. If this is my life from now on, I couldn’t imagine anything better. I suppose this has been my life for months, and it’s been the best days of my life.

September 10

I asked her if she has to sleep in the water since that’s where her nest is, and she told me that it was more comfortable for her, but she could sleep in the shack if I prefer. She had believed I hadn't asked because I was more reserved, so she had waited for me to broach the topic. She’s going to sleep in my bed tonight. I don’t deserve her, but I will work every day to change that. If I hadn’t gone fishing that day, my life would be completely different. If I hadn’t gone fishing that day, my days would have been the same gray they always were, and I never would have known the difference.