Possibility

When did eating become such a chore? Neringa sat at the table chewing on the leftovers she had from yesterday’s meal. It tasted like ash. Every meal now, she had to force herself to chew, to swallow. Otherwise, her body would grow too weak and fragile.

Sighing, she pushed away the half-eaten plate, got up and grabbed a container to store the leftovers once again.

Opening the curtains and glancing down at the street buzzing with life, she watched people going about their lives as they always did. Across the street, a woman in a beautiful red dress walked while talking on her phone. She tripped over an uneven cobblestone, but before she could fall, a nearby man caught her. He held her for a moment. Their eyes met.

Neringa quickly turned away from the window. It was time to figure out what to do with the rest of her day.

She could go outside for a walk but she had no energy to put on her makeup or get dressed. Neringa ended up sitting on the couch scrolling through social media. One after another, photos of acquaintances and old friends flashed before her eyes - newborn babies, wedding rings, smiling spouses, holding hands. It was too much. She dropped the phone and went to the bathroom to start getting ready to go outside.

Had one of the neighbours happened to glance toward the apartment building at this moment, they would have seen a single window with a woman frozen in time, just standing there, staring at the doors, unmoving.

They might wonder whether it was a real person, an image or an incredibly lifelike mannequin.

Neringa might have wondered the same. Was she even a person anymore? Where was she going to go now?

She returned to the couch and stared into the distance. How was it possible that in this big city a person could feel this lonely?

After a few deep breaths, she decided she would find an event happening that day and go. Whatever it was, she just needed to do something. Anything. She didn’t want to be alone today.

Not long after she found herself sitting at the park painting mugs in a circle of other women. Three of them dominated the conversation while most of the others stayed quiet. Neringa was one of them. She focused on painting the skyscrapers on her mug, trying to depict the concrete jungle that she called home.

“That’s beautiful! Wow!”

Startled, Neringa realized someone was speaking to her. She looked up at the girl sitting next to her, looked into her kind blue eyes. She was beautiful, with curly auburn hair, white blouse and purple skirt.

“Thank you,” Neringa replied. She wanted to continue the conversation but didn’t know how. Objectively, what the girl had painted wasn’t very good and Neringa didn’t want to lie to her. Awkwardly she stumbled for some other words - “What’s your name?”

“Eva. And yours? Are you new to the city?”

“Neringa. No, actually, I have lived here for five years. And you?”

“I moved here just a month ago, trying to meet new people.” Eva smiled.

Shame flooded Neringa unexpectedly. She cast her glance down. Five years in this city, surely Eva would expect her to have many friends by now. How could she explain this? There used to be friends, even close friends, but it had all changed over the years and somehow she needed to start all over again.

After drifting off into her own thoughts Neringa noticed that Eva was already talking to someone else.

The event ended. After thanking everyone, the host began cleaning up. Neringa got up to leave, but Eva stopped her, “Let’s exchange numbers to stay in touch?” And so they did.

Returning home, Neringa kept turning it all over in her mind - how she could have been friendlier, put more effort into trying to talk to people, could have asked more questions. She felt angry at herself for not trying hard enough.

For dinner she forced down the leftovers, feeling so tired, and went to bed shortly afterward.

“Hey! It’s Eva from yesterday. Would you like to grab a coffee today?” the text read.

Neringa blinked sleep from her eyes as she stared at her phone. She didn’t think she left a good impression on anyone.

She got out of bed, brushed her teeth, put on makeup, got dressed, grabbed her keys and walked out of the door without any hesitation.

Eva was the type of person who radiated such positivity and energy that it was hard to feel bad in her presence. She seemed to carry enough warmth for two people. Just being around her made Neringa feel lighter. The conversations no longer felt like work, the silences between them no longer felt awkward.

They agreed to meet again the following day, with plans for Neringa to show Eva her favorite spots of the city. She was really looking forward to it.

The next day, the two women spent the entire day exploring the city until both of their feet were sore from walking.

On the way back home a strange sensation overcame Neringa. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Her stomach growled. She stopped walking. Was this... hunger? Neringa smiled.

Back at her apartment, she took out the pasta from the cupboard, cooked it, made some sauce, and for the first time in months, it tasted rich and satisfying. She finished the whole plate. It felt so good.

The day after Neringa didn’t have plans with Eva but she felt like going outside nevertheless. It was a beautiful sunny day. People passing by seemed to pause in their usual rush and smile at the world around them.

Neringa was a proper city girl, she knew better than to take her eyes off the pavement. But here she was - staring at the flowers in the nearby cafe window - she tripped over something on the ground. Her heart lurched but before she could feel the impact of the hard stone, she found herself suspended mid-fall. Neringa gasped and stared at the stranger holding her, into his deep brown eyes.