It Rained Cats And Dogs, But Not On True Love

"It Rained Cats-And-Dogs," But Not On True Love

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a cat who was named Cathy. Her mom had so many kittens she had to come up with names for all of them at short notice and so she added an h y on to the end of her name. She was quite cuddly and loved being stroked, unless it was on a row boat since that kind of, "stroke" really turned her off big-time. Water is not something that any sort of kitten is a mighty intense fans of.

There was also in the same hood, a dog who lived in a nearby forest named Doug. He had a similar kind of problems with his name since there were so many puppies in his immediate family. He was a right trashy animal. That was because he had come from a huge, "litter" of puppies. He turned out to be a real digger. He dug so many wholes that his parents named him, "Doug because that's what he had done up to all the plants in the garden. Yet he couldn't help it because holes was something he would really, "dig." Some animals said that he had holes in his head, but he also loved doing that to the, "whole" garden, especially when there were groundhogs who stuck their heads up from them. That made Doug be sure that he really, "dug" the, "whole" garden up.

Those were the things which brought both of those animals fame, only it was not the kind of fame that made either of those animals popular with their owners which was cause for much yelling at each animal. After getting that kind of treatment so much, they both got fed up with it and decided to leave the only home they knew existed for them. Yet it just so happened that they met each other at the same time. Having never seen any other animals besides their own kind they were both quite curious about each other. When Cathy said, "Uh, hay. My name is Cathy the cat. Who, and what kind of animal are you supposed to be?"

Doug said reluctantly, "Uh, hay. I'm Doug, and I'm supposed to be a dog. Hay, would you like to be my friend or something?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" said Cathy happily. "Why, of course!"

The 2 unlikely animals, who were supposed to be arch-enemies, shook paws. That definitely was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Suddenly, a huge doberman approached them and said to Doug, "Hay! Why aren't you chasing that lousy cat? Start running! Go!"

At the same time a bobcat stuck his head in and said, "Now, run, stupid! You're supposed to get away from this place! We've seen his, 'cat' of food for dinner! You're on it! What's the matter? 'Cat' got your tongue?' Now, this could be a major, 'cat'-tastrophy!"

"Oh, please!" purred Cathy with a smile that was like a Cheshire cat's grin, "He's my friend as well! He won't, 'hound' me to do any- thing that I don't want to do, which is a lot more then can be said for any of y'all. He's the cat's pajamas, although I have never seen any cat wearing pajamas. That saying makes no sense whatsoever."

"Now, don't get, 'Frisky' with me!" said Doug, who was by then scowling at that pushy animal's words. "That cat enjoys riding on the chandeliers which means she's definitely a real, 'swinger!' Yet if she would slip and hit the floor she says, 'Me-'ow' although it would be extremely, 'catastrophic' for her! They're such a mess it's no wonder Santa won't bring them anything since he has got a real, 'claws' with them. Plus if they would go for a jog on the beach at Christmas-time they would end up with, 'Sandy-Claws!' I'll scratch them if they get, 'frisky' with me. That makes me, 'hiss'-terical!" They are a lot more fun since they can be trained to do tricks like sit, stay, come, shake paws, fetch the newspaper and scare off burglars so they will not, 'burgle' your home. They also don't get stuck in trees quite as often. They'll protect you while walking down a dark, 'ally-cat' at night. I would kick the cat if it got under my feet since that does something to my, 'sole.' Those darn animals will refuse to die since they have got 9 lives. Thy cause me to lose my religion with their stupid, old, 'cat'-echisms.' It's why witches love them so much. I draw the, 'fe-ling' there. Don't get, 'frisky' with me. I hate having to knit, 'kittens-mittens' when they get cold. Everybody knows a dog is man's-best-friend. Cats make me, 'hiss'-tericlely upset. I'm just glad, 'the cat didn't get my tongue' to prevent me from saying that. Besides, everybody knows that dog spelled backwards is God. I adore dogs, 'the cat didn't get my tongue' to keep me from saying that. Even though I hate cats, I do love a, 'Calico Chorus.' " said Doug in a rebuttal.

That insulted Cathy so much she said, "Huh!" and backed away from the very rude k-9 who'd been trying to upset her, and had done a really good job of it. She stuck out her long, course tongue towards him and backed away, but unfortunately, she couldn't see what was behind her and so she stepped off the edge of the pier and landed with a huge splash in the water. Of course, cats hate the water. She kept calling, "Help me, Doug! I can't swim! Please do," but that was all she could say because she sank into the water and dissapeered beneith the surface, thus leaving only bubbles.

Doug heard the voice followed by the sickening sound of water splashing as it engulfed poor Cathy. By the time Doug turned around, all he could see were a few little bubbles. His first instinct was, "Aw, good riddense to bad rubbish! This old world can easily survive with one less fee-line to be a royal pain-in-the-neck for me!" It was when he saw the bubbles stop coming to the surface. That made him laugh, then he smiled, then he stuck out his tongue as if he was in some kind of deep-thought. Something inside of him said, "You really aught to try and save that little tonsalitis! That's because shes been such a huge pain-in-the-neck to you!" but as he smiled and turned to walk away, something inside of him said, "Na! You know she's a jerk, although even jerks were put here on this old planet to fulfill some kind of purpose!" That's when he jumped into the cold water and scanned the bottom until he saw a motionless figure. He swam down to the bottom of that really deep lake. That's when he saw the little fir-ball lying there. He swam down and picked her up. She turned blue, with no pulse. That's when he prayed, "Dear Lord, I know that I haven't talked to You in a mighty long time, but I need help now! Please help me save this animal's life! Come on, God! So please, please do it for both of our sakes! Help me do whatever is needed to save that cat! Oh, I thank You that it's done, right now in Jesus' mighty Name!"

Doug had never heard of c. p. r.. In fact, he couldn't even spell it. He just knew he had to do something, so he put his mouth over hers and blew. After doing that several times, he heard a cough come from her. That was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard in his life. That's when he pushed on her tummy to make the water come out of her mouth. Then he put his mouth over top of hers and blew. He didn't have a clue why he was doing that, but after a few more breaths, Cathy finally opened up her eyes. Doug yelled, "Yippee! Thank you, Lord! Thank You for being the great prayer-answering God that You are! Now, that was truly terrific!"

That's how some unlikely prospects found an intimate relation- ship between the 2 of them. From that day onward they were the best of friends, always helping each other out any way they could.

After having that extremely unusual kind of situation between those 2 most unlikely creatures, it made all the animals get along.

So finishes this story of how those animals, who should have just been arch-enemies, found love between them. That also helped build some other extremely deep friendships between mixed species, and so at any rate, like the best-written children's stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

"THE BOTH LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!"

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The end. By, Cuz Roye.