Catatonic

Fiction Suspense Thriller

Written in response to: "Write a story that takes place between midnight and dawn." as part of A Fright to Remember.

The last candle was nearing its end. Its flame flickered as the hot wax trickled down its stubby body. She took the candle holder in her hand and covered the flame, savouring the light, taking a moment to breathe in the scent of the end of its life… quietly tip-toeing down the hall to check on her patients one last time. With no power, most of the machines had cut out, the patient’s breathing had slowed down, and she was anticipating their final moments of noise while their body reacted to no oxygen and their organs began to give up. To an un-trained eye, it might seem like the soul returning to their once catatonic state; groaning and sharp movements filling the once silent air, but she knew that it was almost the end for them, and part of her liked witnessing their world turning dark, the life leaving their bodies…

Two patients remained. She peeked down at her lifeline, the fraying wick fighting to keep alive.The wind outside thrashed against the window pane while the branches of the trees stumbled and fell through the air. If she didn’t get power soon, she too would be in the dark and that candle would ruin everything.

The girl began to pray, it wouldn’t be daytime for hours and the last words her brother had uttered to her had replayed in her mind. She had to ready herself and have a plan to save herself and what was left of the hospital. Heavy boots knotted tightly- stopping the blood from moving to her feet, and a thick jacket done up to her neck. She locked the doors, the wind stole the door from her grip and she jumped with the sound of the door smashing against the frame. Windows shut- she was prepared. All that remained of the candle now was the end of the wick and a dim flame. It flitted and quivered. She waited, she could see the mist of her breath as she breathed out, but it was steady as she counted the seconds, distracting herself from her fear. The wind grew stronger, shaking the glass of the windows and threatening to destroy them. The storm was seeking her out, creeping through the dead of night to reach her. It had finally found its prey, and she was the only conscious being left. With a final surge, the glass smashed, the wind blew towards her and the candle was out. 

The girl stopped, she listened for the sounds of her patients inhaling and exhaling. In…out. Good, as long as they are breathing, they are fine. Feeling along the wall, she crawled towards the lounge. Shards of glass sliced through her hands, leaving a trail of blood as she shuffled across the floor. The hard door of the lounge stopped her in her tracks. Carefully, she shut the door behind her. She gritted her teeth, screaming as the glass was pushed deeper into her skin. The tiny fragments of sparkling glass shimmered in the reflection of the moon as she inspected her cuts with the little light left. She left the glass, she couldn’t pull it out without making noise, she had already made too much. The wind would find her. Her fingers finally caressed the velvet plush of an arm chair. The grandfather clock across the room ticked, it was gone midnight. She sunk into the chair. Listening to the sounds of the stormy night. The same storm that had pillaged through the town for three days now and taken the lives of too many, prisoner after prisoner. Whether the elements had finished them off or driven them to madness, she needed to save herself.

Screams of the victims whirled with the wind outside. The floorboards creaked. It was just the building, she told herself, it had housed patients for centuries. The clock ticked again, one hour to go- then it would be The creaking grew louder. Her forehead glistened with sweat and her hands shook. She tried to steady her breath. The creaking seemed to grow closer, but it couldn’t be, it was just her and the wind, her and her thoughts. She felt for the table in front of her. She found an empty medicine bottle and held onto it, scrunching up her face at the pain. Thunder bellowed and the room lit up as lightning hit the building . The door swung open. A tall figure stood in the doorway, snarling and groaning, shadows filling the once empty room. The girl scrambled to her feet and backed away, holding the bottle out in front of her. The figure took a step forward. His frame was broad, masculine, he stood tall yet was hunched over. She recognised his stature. His breathing was short and rough, fighting to keep him upright. The girl called his name, he was one of the last ones left. 

He didn’t respond. He stomped towards her again. The wind howled louder, rain smashed against the window. 

The storm had taken him too. A slave to the weather, to do its dirty bidding. She thought briefly of her brother, the way his eyes went black and the way he was instantly dehumanised. Animalistic sounds escaped him, he was reduced to a primitive creature.

The man opened his mouth and growled, reaching towards her. Light from the moon flooded the room so that she could glimpse at the exit. She gripped the bottle and ran, she ran as fast as she could while he lurched towards her, gripping her small frame and pulling her closer. The bottle slipped from her hand and smashed on the floor, thrusting into his thigh. An ear-piercing sound erupted from the man, she had three seconds to decide what to do… the girl took her chance and bolted towards the door. 

Dashing through the corridors, she didn’t dare look back. She didn’t need to, the thick smell of blood followed her and the shrieking and grumbling echoed through the halls, cascading down the walls and bouncing around the floor. She turned sharply right into the hospital kitchen- narrowly missing the bricks on either side of the entrance. The girl slammed the door shut behind her and she collapsed against the wall; her body crumpled, hiding into the small gap between the fridge and the counter.. Smells of rotten food and flesh burned the back of her throat, she held her breath to stop herself from retching, giving away her location. The fumbling footsteps grew louder though, closer. They thudded in sync with her heart. A drum filling her ears, feeling the vibration through her whole body. A spec of light caught her eye, the sun was rising slowly- she thought she might have a chance to fight back, if she could see. Blood was dripping from her hands onto her knees. She closed her eyes, holding her knees close to her chest trying not to focus on the screeching, or the clattering of furniture along the hallway. Thunder shrieked. The thudding stopped

The last candle was nearing its end. Its flame flickered as the hot wax trickled down its stubby body. She took the candle holder in her hand and covered the flame, savouring the light, taking a moment to breathe in the scent of the end of its life… quietly tip-toeing down the hall to check on her patients one last time. With no power, most of the machines had cut out, the patient’s breathing had slowed down, and she was anticipating their final moments of noise while their body reacted to no oxygen and their organs began to give up. To an un-trained eye, it might seem like the soul returning to their once catatonic state; groaning and sharp movements filling the once silent air, but she knew that it was almost the end for them, and part of her liked witnessing their world turning dark, the life leaving their bodies…

Two patients remained. She peeked down at her lifeline, the fraying wick fighting to keep alive.The wind outside thrashed against the window pane while the branches of the trees stumbled and fell through the air. If she didn’t get power soon, she too would be in the dark and that candle would ruin everything.

The girl began to pray, it wouldn’t be daytime for hours and the last words her brother had uttered to her had replayed in her mind. She had to ready herself and have a plan to save herself and what was left of the hospital. Heavy boots knotted tightly- stopping the blood from moving to her feet, and a thick jacket done up to her neck. She locked the doors, the wind stole the door from her grip and she jumped with the sound of the door smashing against the frame. Windows shut- she was prepared. All that remained of the candle now was the end of the wick and a dim flame. It flitted and quivered. She waited, she could see the mist of her breath as she breathed out, but it was steady as she counted the seconds, distracting herself from her fear. The wind grew stronger, shaking the glass of the windows and threatening to destroy them. The storm was seeking her out, creeping through the dead of night to reach her. It had finally found its prey, and she was the only conscious being left. With a final surge, the glass smashed, the wind blew towards her and the candle was out. 

The girl stopped, she listened for the sounds of her patients inhaling and exhaling. In…out. Good, as long as they are breathing, they are fine. Feeling along the wall, she crawled towards the lounge. Shards of glass sliced through her hands, leaving a trail of blood as she shuffled across the floor. The hard door of the lounge stopped her in her tracks. Carefully, she shut the door behind her. She gritted her teeth, screaming as the glass was pushed deeper into her skin. The tiny fragments of sparkling glass shimmered in the reflection of the moon as she inspected her cuts with the little light left. She left the glass, she couldn’t pull it out without making noise, she had already made too much. The wind would find her. Her fingers finally caressed the velvet plush of an arm chair. The grandfather clock across the room ticked, it was gone midnight. She sunk into the chair. Listening to the sounds of the stormy night. The same storm that had pillaged through the town for three days now and taken the lives of too many, prisoner after prisoner. Whether the elements had finished them off or driven them to madness, she needed to save herself.

Screams of the victims whirled with the wind outside. The floorboards creaked. It was just the building, she told herself, it had housed patients for centuries. The clock ticked again, one hour to go- then it would be The creaking grew louder. Her forehead glistened with sweat and her hands shook. She tried to steady her breath. The creaking seemed to grow closer, but it couldn’t be, it was just her and the wind, her and her thoughts. She felt for the table in front of her. She found an empty medicine bottle and held onto it, scrunching up her face at the pain. Thunder bellowed and the room lit up as lightning hit the building . The door swung open. A tall figure stood in the doorway, snarling and groaning, shadows filling the once empty room. The girl scrambled to her feet and backed away, holding the bottle out in front of her. The figure took a step forward. His frame was broad, masculine, he stood tall yet was hunched over. She recognised his stature. His breathing was short and rough, fighting to keep him upright. The girl called his name, he was one of the last ones left. 

He didn’t respond. He stomped towards her again. The wind howled louder, rain smashed against the window. 

The storm had taken him too. A slave to the weather, to do its dirty bidding. She thought briefly of her brother, the way his eyes went black and the way he was instantly dehumanised. Animalistic sounds escaped him, he was reduced to a primitive creature.

The man opened his mouth and growled, reaching towards her. Light from the moon flooded the room so that she could glimpse at the exit. She gripped the bottle and ran, she ran as fast as she could while he lurched towards her, gripping her small frame and pulling her closer. The bottle slipped from her hand and smashed on the floor, thrusting into his thigh. An ear-piercing sound erupted from the man, she had three seconds to decide what to do… the girl took her chance and bolted towards the door. 

Dashing through the corridors, she didn’t dare look back. She didn’t need to, the thick smell of blood followed her and the shrieking and grumbling echoed through the halls, cascading down the walls and bouncing around the floor. She turned sharply right into the hospital kitchen- narrowly missing the bricks on either side of the entrance. The girl slammed the door shut behind her and she collapsed against the wall; her body crumpled, hiding into the small gap between the fridge and the counter.. Smells of rotten food and flesh burned the back of her throat, she held her breath to stop herself from retching, giving away her location. The fumbling footsteps grew louder though, closer. They thudded in sync with her heart. A drum filling her ears, feeling the vibration through her whole body. A spec of light caught her eye, the sun was rising slowly- she thought she might have a chance to fight back, if she could see. Blood was dripping from her hands onto her knees. She closed her eyes, holding her knees close to her chest trying not to focus on the screeching, or the clattering of furniture along the hallway. Thunder shrieked. The thudding stopped

Posted Oct 28, 2026
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4 likes 1 comment

David Sweet
November 02, 2026 19:35

Wow, Lily, this would make a great screenplay for a movie or limited series. I have become very curious about this world. I would love to know more about it. Who are these people? Why is SHE here. What was her brother like? What is the dark entity and why does it take the shape of a man? I love the idea of storm as predatory monster disapating with daylight for the survivors to regroup yet have to face it again because the storm stays along the horizon. Excellent work. Welcome to Reedsy.

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