Tears for Time

It’s day one on this uncharted planet. I’m with four other astronauts out here, and we’re supposed to be here for three months to gather as much information as we can before Earth explodes. I’m not worried, though, because that’s supposed to happen in possibly five years, but I overheard it might be ten. We’re here because Earth is paranoid.

The first thing I did was step out and take the instruments they provided us with to start setting up camp. I had looked around amazed at how evolved this place is. It’s a little low on gravity, but it’s filled with greenery, water, and rocks. Everything we need! The scientists back home still have not figured out a name for this place yet, but I think it should be something along the lines of “Earth but Better”. Anyway, a few hours later, we’re done setting up and it’s time to go exploring.

I put on my gear–my shrinky-expandy-iPad, my bodycam, evidence baggies, gloves, experiment tools, water purifier, bug spray, an exacto-knife, my earpiece, and a bag with a bunch of other random tools I threw in. We split up going into four directions. I went north. The first thing I saw were mushrooms, but they were huge and had small fuzzy things all around them. I snapped on gloves and carefully cut away one. I was immediately covered in a soft gooey juice that reeked.

“Damn it!” I had grumbled, but I still put the remaining junk in a bag with some of the goo. I still smell like it now as I’m writing this report. Despite the hot weather, I was monumentally glad I covered all of my skin including my face. I then continue walking deeper into the vines and trees. I find birds big and small, some colorfully blinding and some simple, and creatures I’m not even sure I can describe. I make sure my camera catches it all because one day it will be shown on TV and I will be recognized as one of the four heroes that saved humans from extinction.

The rest of the day is mostly the same thing–glistening waterfalls, steep treks, random plants and animals, some edible things some not, and me getting lost at least four times. Thankful for my GPS that has our camp and all of my partners connected to it, I made my way back. On this planet, when you look up you see five moons and a million stars. Definitely more. While everyone shares stories about their explorations, we eat mushrooms and cooked meat from some odd animals.

Now I’m back in the shuttle writing my report for today! I’m about to sleep, and I’m excited for tomorrow. I hope I find something super exciting! Okay, bye for now.

—

I wake up and wiggle out my toes. It’s now day 72. I step outside, yawning, and I see that my crewmates are already getting ready. I look up to see the familiar sunrise and the parting moons escaping below the ground. In the two-plus months we’ve been here, we’ve had great progress. We now travel the terrain easily and know almost everything that we’ve explored. Everyday we get a call or text from Earth that gives us instructions or updates. The thing is, I’ve been getting homesick lately. I miss you, I find myself constantly thinking. Sometimes I wish I stayed with him at home and let someone else do the job. Even though I regret it just a little bit, I think it’ll be worth it in the end. I’ll just come home and tell him all the amazing things I saw and we’ll watch the news together, talking about all the things my partners and I found.

We go on exploring again, this time going farther than before. Clouds are starting to roll in. Rebecca, one of the people on our team, said it’s gonna be a pretty big storm. We’ve had some light rain, but we’ve also found out it rains rocks which presents as a bit of a survival sabotager. We think it’s meteors because some of them are on fire. Maybe the atmosphere pulls in rocks or something.

I walk through the tall trees following the path I always do. My feet crunch on twigs and plants. Even after all this time, I’m still awestruck on how amazing this place is. It’s when I reach my first usual resting place at the small pond that I feel the first rock. It’s just a light tap because we’ve created suits that should protect us from most attacks. I’m starting to head back when I feel three more. They're getting bigger. Rebecca and Michael are talking now, saying the rocks have caught some plants on fire and they’re heading back. I look behind me and see small flames emerging too. I quickly gather my things to head back.

Not only a few minutes later it’s heavy rock hail. All of them are hot embers. I'm steaming in my suit, but I have to get back. I can smell smoke now. I make the mistake of looking back.

The forest is in flames. Fire is licking the bark slowly, inching up like a parasite. I hear animals screeching and running in all directions. That unlocks something inside me because I’m suddenly very afraid and I start running. People are yelling in my earpiece, but I can’t understand. Dread is filling me, but I’m still in a bit of shock so I only feel half as concerned as I should be. The fire is picking up speed. Shoot shoot shoot what to do what to do what to–? I’m not even finished with my thought when I feel a searing burning sensation at my heels. I look down. My foot is on fire. I scream and try to pat it out while running. It’s not working, but what is is the fire working its way up my leg. My survival instincts kick in and I search frantically for water. I see a puddle not far away and I leap into it. I fall in the water, but I don’t have time to absorb the cool feeling all over my body. The material surrounding my ankle is burned off and my flesh is bright pink. I get up quickly which shoots pain through my ankle, but I can’t worry about that right now because the fire is still coming and it’s surrounding me. Smoke enters my nostrils and I’m immediately choking on the thick gas crawling into my throat. I run past trees getting their first taste of fire. I trip on vines and roots and my ankle is screaming, but I have to keep on going or I’m going to die.

God, I’m going to die. I’m literally going to die. I finally make it back to camp. I listen in on my earpiece, but all I hear is breathing.

“Is everyone okay? Are you guys almost back?” I call frantically into the mic.

“It’s moving–” Gasping. “–really–” Choking. “–fast and I can’t get away–” Falling. “–from it–just–just leave I won’t make–”

Silence.

My heart is pounding so hard I’m afraid I’m not going to die of the fire but of the heart attack. Oh, but I have to live because there’s stories that need to be told and people I need to cry into the arms of. I have to see him again. I can’t leave him home waiting for me when I’m not going to come. I leave everything and get into the ship. I say a deep, heartfelt sorry to the people I’ve left behind and my voice cracks when I wish them to be okay and to be waiting when I come back. I will come back. I still feel guilty. Very, very guilty, but I have to leave. The grass surrounding our camp is on fire. It doesn’t take long for me to get the ship started and ready to launch. I strap myself in and feel the ship slowly rise up just as the fiery monster tries to grapple with the ship. It’s hungry to devour more. I look out the window and see nothing but smoke and angry red and orange sparks.

Finally, the ship blasts off and I’m in space. My heart slows down and I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I’m okay. It’s going to be okay.

But of course life is never in my favor. I get a message from Earth.

Our satellites have spotted the meteor coming closer than we thought. It’s coming in hot. Probably in a week. We need you guys back. Now.

Now I’m gasping for air because life could not get any worse. A week?! I’m panicking. At least the fuel is full. I need to make it back in at least three days Earth time. I make the ship go as fast I think it can handle. It should be close to traveling light years now, but I’m not sure if it’s enough. My stomach lurches but I keep my eyes closed and think of him and his dark eyes and the hair that covers his glasses. I smile despite the situation because honestly, all I need is to see him one last time. I wouldn’t mind dying if we were dying together.

Suddenly, I feel the ship lurch. I’m vomiting now. My eyes swell in tears. I glance at the screen. An asteroid has hit the side of the ship and the left wing is gone. I'm in an asteroid belt. It’s a big one, and just looking forward I don’t know if I can maneuver it. It wasn’t my job to fly the ship. My eyes dart around frantically, gripping the wheel. My hands are sweaty and my knuckles are white. God, why did it have to be me? I fly through and suddenly time slows down. Light years are passing by but it’s not enough. I check my watch and it’s been two days on Earth already. Another impact jerks me back against my seat. I curse. There’s a red warning on my screen. My ship can’t take any more impacts. I’m sweating even harder now.

Time is something I don’t have. Tick, Tick, Tick, it clicks, but I still cannot travel fast enough. Tears are streaming down my face, but I can’t look away. I can’t stop seeing his face, his smile, his touch. Our life I always imagined flashes before my eyes and I pray and pray and beg the skies above the earth below to give me one last chance, but the darkness surrounding me will not listen. I move through time, but it’s not enough. Lights stream past me, but I feel like I’m moving in slow motion and he’s speeding away. I can’t save him, and I feel him slowly slipping away from me. I think of our moments walking on the beach, my feet sinking into the grains of sand, and now I’m thinking if love was a droplet of water he would be the seven seas combined. One minute feels like one hour, and really, it is, but it’s not enough because somewhere out there his time is almost out. I close my eyes and a puddle of regret and a girl’s broken heart fall to the ground. His face floats to the ground like a flowers’ wilting petals, and I try to grasp the pieces and put them back, but they will not stay.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

I cry as I’m jostled around in the ship. I cry like my tears can be replaced for time. Every tear that escapes down my chin I imagine is a minute I could’ve used to save me. To save him. To save humanity. I don’t even care that my ship is getting imploded with rocks and debris. Earth is sending messages faster than I can blink, but I don’t have the energy to reply. What is the point of replying when there would be no good news to tell? I’m going to die anyway. I think of him watching the giant ball of fire, calling out for me, wondering where I am.

I can’t stop apologizing to him, and I can’t stop the flow of tears running down my cheeks. My throat burns from screaming and hiccuping, but it just won’t stop.

The final rock hits and the ship splits in two. My ears are muffled. My time is up. Am I floating in space? A voice speaks in the back of my mind. Pain is exploding in my body, but I look around and see stars on stars, planets on planets. Colors fill my view, and it takes my breath away. I feel my mind leaving me, but I try to take in as much as I can. In the corner of my eye, I see something that looks vaguely like my home planet. Earth, I think. That’s where my love is. I know I won’t make it, but I still try with my last bit of stamina to be one step closer to him, even if it’s millions of miles away.

In my final breaths, I think I see him flying towards me, his hand outstretched. His mouth is moving, but I can’t hear him.

“Adam?” My voice croaks. “Is that you?”

(author's note : I think I might've gotten a few of the tenses wrong...? Let me know if I did so I can change it 🤍)