Desperate for Nirvana

Desperate for Nirvana

By Mary Taylor

“Matt, you’re a half hour late.” Courtney angrily informs her ex-husband when she answers the front door for him.

“What are you talking about? I’m on time,” he answers in total confusion.

“Ugh, I needed you to be here early today because I need to help my friend with her Instagram account. She needs to do a review of a product and if it’s not done today she’ll lose the sponsor.” Courtney rambles on. “I sent you a text on the family group chat this morning.”

“Court, you know you have to call me. I don’t sit around and stare at my phone all day.” Matt reminds her which he knows will just set her off even more.

“Jesus, you are so stuck in the prehistoric age. When are you gonna get with the program? You’re gonna miss out on so much if you keep living under that rock of yours,” Courtney grumbles before shouting over her shoulder to their two children. “Mason, Madison, your father is here!”

“Coming!” Madison shouts from upstairs and minutes later their sixteen year old twins come bounding down the stairs.

“Shotty!” Shouts Mason as he flies past his parents toward Matt’s car.

“No fair! I’m supposed to sit in the front this time,” Madison yells at her brother as she follows him out the front door.

Courtney sighs and rolls her eyes. “Don’t say goodbye to me or anything,” she shouts at her children.

“Goodbye, Mom,” Madison says with a wave as Mason just takes this moment of distraction to jump into the front passenger seat.

“Have them back on time Sunday, and for the love of everything holy, check your damn phone!” Courtney barks at her ex before slamming the door in his face.

Matt stumbles backward and shakes his head in awe that he was once married to that woman. She is eight years younger than he is and although he loved her the age difference played the main role in their divorce.

He gets in his car and starts the engine, “What’s This Life For” by Creed plays from his playlist. His son groans and instantly plugs his phone into the auxiliary.

“Hey, I was listening to that,” Matt complains as he backs out of the driveway.

“C’mon, Dad. All you listen to is that Divorced Dad shit,” Mason says as he scrolls through his phone for music to play.

“Divorced dad? Hey, watch your language,” Matt chides his son.

“It’s the rock music old divorced guys listen to,” Madison chimes in from the backseat.

“Oh so I’m old now?” Matt says defensively.

“Uh, yeah. Mom says you’re stuck in the 90’s,” Mason says with a shrug.

“I am not stuck in the 90’s,” Matt argues.

“Get real, Dad. All you listen to is 90’s music and the only movies you own are from the 90’s,” Mason grumbles.

“Hey, the 90’s were the best times. You guys missed out,” Matt explains. “Do you know how many blockbuster hits they had? You love Jurassic Park, Independence Day, Speed and The Rock.”

“Whatever, Dad,” Mason mumbles.

Matt checks the rearview mirror to see his daughter immersed in her cell phone. Shaking his head, Matt lets out a sigh and silently suffers for the drive to his apartment as the annoying music his son is into fills his head.

Stretching in his cubicle, Matt decides he needs a break from programming a new algorithm that matches users with sponsored content. He can’t stand the invasiveness of social media these days. Some days he can barely stomach his job.

Making his way into the fully loaded kitchen, he grabs a Dr. Pepper from the fridge and roots around in the cabinets for a snack. Every time he pops open a Dr. Pepper he’s taken back to his youth, hanging out with his friends without a care in the world. Matt shakes his head, maybe his ex-wife is right and he is stuck in the 90’s.

A young man enters the kitchen and opens the fridge without greeting Matt. As a 43 year old man, he’s used to being the older guy in the office. At first it bothered him when his younger coworkers would ignore his greetings, but now he’s taken it upon himself to start chatting to them and making them as uncomfortable as possible.

“Hey, man. You ever wake up and wonder what the world has become? Since when did we become so obsessed with what other people are doing that we use social media to stalk everyone?”

“Um…” A look of sheer panic takes over the young man’s face and he begins to back out of the kitchen.

“Why can’t things be like it was in the 90’s? I mean life was so perfect back then. We used phones to call each other, we didn’t use them as if they were an appendage that we couldn’t survive without. Nobody cared what anyone else did back then. Ignorance was bliss. And don’t get me started on the music or the movies. Today’s kids have no clue what good music is,” Matt begins rambling, not really paying attention to his coworker at all.

“Technology hadn’t taken over just yet and people were out there living their lives. Now the world revolves around it,” Matt continues but stops when he turns around to see he’s all alone in the kitchen. Shaking his head he returns to his cubicle to find an email from his boss.

“You wanted to see me?” Matt asks his boss as he enters a glass walled office. Matt often feels like the open space floor plan and the glass enclosed offices make people look as if they are exhibits at the zoo.

“Hey, Matt. Come in and close the door, would you?” His boss, ten years his junior, says.

Upon entering his apartment, Matt immediately calls his best friend from childhood, Sean. The two have been friends since the third grade when they connected over their love of POGs.

“Yo, Matty boy! What’s hangin’?” Sean greets him over the phone.

“Me, from a noose. I got fired today,” Matt responds while grabbing a beer out of his fridge.

“Seriously? What happened?” Sean asks, his voice full of concern.

“Long story short, I wasn’t being a team player, and turns out you shouldn’t broadcast how much you hate social media while working for a social media company.” Matt shakes his head at his own stupidity.

“Damn, I’m so sorry, man. What are you gonna do?”

“Who knows. I just wish we lived in the 90’s again you know? Life was so much simpler back then and everything was cooler. No one cared how other people lived their lives, and you actually had to remember phone numbers back then. Now we live life on cell phones and computers, it’s depressing,” Matt complains.

“I’m sorry bro but you gotta stop living in the past. It’s ruined your marriage and now your job.” Sean drops that bomb of realization on his best friend before getting an idea. “Hold on a sec... No shit, it does exist! I’m sending you a link for a support group. I can’t believe they actually have one for people stuck in the 90’s. You gotta go.”

“Are you for real? I’m not stuck and I don’t need a support group,” Matt says as he gets a text from Sean on his phone.

“Just give it a try, what’s the worst thing that could happen? You get to commiserate with like minded people,” Sean suggests and Matt figures maybe he should give it a shot.

Matt walks into the basement room of a small church twenty minutes from his home. He didn’t even need to ask where the support group was held, all he had to do was follow the 90’s music down to the basement. A surprising amount of people were milling about the room, most congregated around a table full of snacks and beverages.

“Welcome!” A guy around Matt’s age suddenly appears beside him and smiles excitedly at him.

“Uh, hi,” Matt says, jerking to the side in surprise. He notices the man is wearing a Smashing Pumpkins shirt and has a plaid flannel button down wrapped around his waist.

“Hey, I’m Mike, the leader of the group. I’m so glad you could join us.”

“Oh, hey. Yeah, um thanks. I’m Matt,” Matt groans inwardly, realizing he sounds like the socially inept former colleagues he worked with. “Thanks for having me. How long have you been leading this group?”

“Pretty much from the year two thousand,” Mike jokes and gets a laugh out of Matt. “Come on in, grab a snack and a seat. We’ll get started in just a second.”

Matt decides to skip the snack table and find a seat. He spots a gorgeous woman sitting alone and decides to take advantage of the situation. If this sucks at least he might get a date out of the event.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asks the blonde bombshell who has an uncanny resemblance to Gwen Stefani.

“Not at all. I’m Steffi, is this your first meeting? I don’t recognize you,” she asks, smiling at Matt.

“Yeah, my first meeting. My best friend found it for me. Seems I’m divorced and jobless because I can’t let go of the 90’s,” Matt divulges with a wince at how pathetic he sounds.

“I hear you. My relationships suffer a lot because I can’t relate to people who didn’t love the 90’s. You’ll fit right in here,” Steffi says, smiling at Matt.

Before he can continue their conversation, Mike starts the meeting. “Hello my fellow peeps! Welcome back, and welcome to our group if you are new here. I started this group a few years back when I realized just how much of a need there was for it. We lived through one of the best times in life and it’s difficult to put that in the past and move on. We always run out of time so without further delay let’s get started. Chris, I believe we left off with you last time, would you like to start us off?”

A guy wearing a Nirvana shirt and having an uncanny resemblance to Kurt Cobain stands up from his chair and takes over the podium. One by one people get up to share their memories and Matt feels like for once in his life he belongs. Here in this large group of nearly forty people, Matt feels right at home.

With such a large group the hour dedicated to the meeting flies by. Matt wasn’t able to speak but he enjoyed listening to the others tell stories of a time he wished he could relive. In a way this meeting was giving him that opportunity to live it through the eyes of the other members.

“Do you wanna grab a coffee?” Steffi asks Matt as she stands and gathers her things.

“That would be great,” he says with a smile. He would have been happy to grab coffee with anyone from the group, but is very excited to get to know Steffi more.

At a coffee shop down the block, a few of the others from the meeting trickle in, but Matt and Steffi find a small table in the back. “How did you like the first meeting?” Steffi asks and Matt can’t hide a boyish grin.

“It was rad! I can’t believe how many of us are out there. I just felt right at home,” he explains and Steffi nods her head enthusiastically.

“Right? That’s how I felt the first time. If only we could time travel or somehow get the world to go back to the way things were.” She muses over her coffee.

Matt silently mulls this thought over before saying, “Who says we can’t bring the 90’s back? Maybe there is a way we could recreate things.”

“Really you think?”

“Well not like on a grand scale, but now that I’m jobless I was thinking I’d like to start a restaurant with all things 90’s.” Matt brainstorms aloud.

“That sounds amazing! It could have a section that looks like The Max from Saved by The Bell, and then one that looks like Central Perk from Friends!” Steffi excitedly exclaims.

The two spend the next few hours dreaming up a restaurant that would bring back a touch of the 90’s.

Three years later…

A big ‘Grand Opening’ sign hangs over the entrance to Matt’s 90’s themed restaurant. Matt and his now wife, Steffi, poured their heart and soul into their restaurant named Greener Days. It was fully funded by the Bring Back the 90’s Foundation and the Divorced Dad Rockers of America. Inside they had a Central Perk cafe setup on one side and The Max set up on the other.

The waiting area had a huge sign displayed above a pay phone stating no cell phone use. There was also a museum-like area set up with facts about the 90’s, VHS movies, CDs and video games on display. Popular board games and children’s toys were spread out on the tables.

Matt and Steffi had achieved their goal of recreating the 90’s and giving the world a taste of one of the greatest decades to exist on Earth.

Matt finds his kids playing with some of the toys he loved as a child. “Dad, you know what? This is pretty cool. The 90’s must have been fun,” Mason says to him.

Matt puts an arm around his son and with a wistful smile says, “Yeah, son. The 90’s were fun. They were the best.”