Win Some, Lose Some, Win Some

Me and Jimmy, we went way back. My ma was always telling me to stay away from Jimmy.

"You boys are no good together."

"He's going to get in trouble and drag you right in with him."

"Just watch. He's going to get some girl into trouble."

But the thing was, Jimmy was fun. We'd kick the can down the street, and that was good times. We especially loved the days when we'd kick the cans into the alleys and aim for those steel trash cans, and boy, how we loved the loud banging and clanging when all that metal collided. Every now and then, Billy Magee's ma would lean out of her third floor window and yell down to us to knock off all the noise. "Can't you boys find something better to do than kicking cans?"

The thing was, the cans were free. We'd find them in trash cans or on the ground, and we'd see how far we could kick the things. One day, my ma gave me a paper grocery bag and sent Jimmy and me outside and told us to collect all the cans we could find and take them to the grocer's to get the deposits back. Jimmy and me, we split the money. I bought bubble gum. Jimmy bought cigarettes. He was tall, lanky, looked way older than thirteen, and his forehead was covered in acne. He was a real pizza face back then. He wore a ball cap low on his head to hide the mess on his face. He hit puberty early, though, and had this little worm of a hair caterpillar growing on his upper lip. He could pass for fifteen, easy, and maybe even sixteen.

I didn't smoke, and as far as I knew, Jimmy didn't smoke either, but he says to me, "There's a first time for everything." He offered me a stick, and I waved him away.

"Come on, man, don't be a pussy," he says.

"Jimmy, you don't know my ma when she's mad," I says. "If she gets a whiff of that smoke on me, she'll beat me with a wet wash rag."

Jimmy walked around the rest of the afternoon with a cigarette perched over his ear on account of not having any matches.

My ma noticed the cigarette right away, and she pursed her lips. She didn't ask any questions but stared us down so good I was afraid Jimmy and me would have singe marks on our ears or right through the center of our shirts or something. When Jimmy left, she says to me, "I don't like that kid. He's trouble. You're too smart for the likes of him." Once my ma got going on something, she wouldn't stop until she ran out of things to say.

I shouldn't have been surprised when my ma says to me the very next day how she found some special school for me to go to in the fall that's real good for kids who like science. "I'm putting you somewhere with kids who study. We're done with your school and seeing Jimmy every day. You hear me, Bobby? You just have to work real hard because we're getting you a scholarship."

I spent the summer collecting cans and saving money for this science school. Don't get me wrong, I liked science, and I was good at it even, but a science school? How in the heck was I going to find another friend as good as Jimmy? I let out this long, low sigh my ma hated. She always said I sounded like a tire with a loud air leak coming out of it. I knew it bugged her, so I made even louder noises. "You know, Bobby, I'm just so sorry I care. I want a good future for you. I had plans that didn't include being a mom at seventeen, you know. I love being your mom, and I wouldn't trade you for the world, but life is hard for a seventeen year-old with a baby. Life is hard enough, you know. This science shool will put you on a good path, sweetheart. That's all a mother wants."

My ma pulled me in for a hug, and her tears dampened my cheeks. She wasn't a big woman, but her hugs were fierce.

***

After my freshman year, I didn't think about Jimmy too much since we were in different schools. Ma didn't bring him up either. She was pleased with my grades and my focus.

"Honey, you're going to make something of your life. You're going to have a beautiful life whatever you decide to do."

Someone else was picking up cans, and I had to change around my schedule to try and beat them to the cans. It was darn frustrating, and me and Ma needed the extra money to cover whatever my scholarship didn't pick up. To supplement the money from the can deposits, I picked up a paper route. I gave up on the cans and when the weather turned cold, I kept up with my paper route. To replace the can money, though, I began tutoring other students in biology and plane geometry. There was another science school across town, but Ma and I were real happy about the proximity of this school to our apartment. I walked every day and didn't have to take a bus or subway to get there.

In the spring of my sophomore year, one of the teachers announces the science fair. There's this girl, Carole, who's in my chemistry class. I ask her if she wants to partner with me for the science fair. I tell her I have a great idea for a project if she doesn't have an idea yet. Her face lights up while we talk about osmosis. Then we start talking about music and going to the diner after school to talk more about our project and maybe play some songs on the jukebox and how we both like strawberry milkshakes. This girl is a dream. She's not tall at all, which is lucky for me because I haven't hit my growth spurt yet, and I'm not tall either. She has thick raven black hair, and it curls gently at the ends. Her eyes are rich, dark brown, and warm. When she smiles, the corners of her eyes crinkle up, and it's like her whole face becomes smiling sunshine. And, boy, is she smart. She's probably the second smartest person in our chemistry class. I'm top of the class. What can I say? Science makes sense to me.

We work on our project every night for the two weeks leading up to the science fair, and we take first place in our division. We advance to the regional science fair. We keep going to the diner after school to talk about science, and one day on the walk to the diner, she takes my hand in hers. I tell my ma I think I might have my first girlfriend. My ma's eyes get a little misty, and she clears her throat and says, "You make sure to keep that girl’s knees together. You hear me? A nice girl like that doesn't need to have her life derailed by boy trouble."

We go to the regional science fair, and while we're looking at all the projects in our division, we stop in front of this one display. It is out of this world. It might be better than our project. We stand there holding hands, reading all the placards on the poster board, and reviewing the data table. The visual aids are next level. We look at each other, thinking this could be the one project that outshines our project. While we're standing there, we hear a throat clearing behind us. "Uh, hey, you two have any questions about our project?"

We turn around, and there are two guys, both tall, not lanky. They look like they might be a little older than we are. They've filled out, and look more like men than boys. Then I hear, "Bobby, is that you? Oh, my god. It is you! What are the odds we run into each other at the science fair?"

Jimmy's acne is gone, and he's all dressed up for the science fair. We shake hands and introduce each other to our respective science fair partners. Turns out Jimmy is actually smart, and now he looks like a movie star. He goes to the other science high school. He also has a scholarship, but he's been collecting cans for the deposits to help with expenses. I should have known. Carole seems a little starstruck when she meets Jimmy, and I tug on her hand so we can move on to view the next project.

Jimmy calls after us, "Hey. You two want to go to the diner after this is over?" I don't want to go, especially after witnessing how Carole and Jimmy's gazes are eating each other up. Carole gushes how it would be so great to do something when everything wraps up. My throat goes dry, and I croak a sound indicating agreement. I think spending time with Carole and Jimmy (and his project partner, John) sounds like a terrible idea. The worst. But Carole's dark eyes are sparkling, and I like her so much and don't want to disappoint her. We don't hold hands through the rest of the fair, and I don't like how it feels she's already directing her affection elsewhere.

And I wish we didn't run into Jimmy. I wish he still had all that acne. I wish he was stupid and walking around with a dumb cigarette tucked behind his ear. I wish I were taller and filled out, and I wish (and throw in a few prayers) for Carole and me to come in first or second in our division in the regional science fair because then we get to go to the State Science Fair. I know I can't compete with Jimmy in the looks department, but I sure am hoping I can beat him in the brains department. And I'm hoping if Carole and I win, she will take my hand again, and we can embrace, and I'll lift her and and turn us around in a circle, and maybe I'll kiss her, and maybe our kiss will set off fireworks or something, and she will forget all about Jimmy.

As it turns out, a pair of girls from one of the other high schools takes first place, Carole and I take second, another pair of girls takes third, and Jimmy and John get an honorable mention. Carole and I hug, and it's far too quick. We have to leave all of our projects in place for the public viewing later in the afternoon, and Carole is only too happy to grab our coats to make a bee-line to Jimmy and John's display again. I don't hurry, and when I get over to the aisle where Carole is looking all moon-eyed up at Jimmy, he is gushing his congratulations on our second place win, and then he's hugging Carole, and I notice she is sniffing him, and I'm dumbstruck wondering if he is wearing aftershave.

The four of us leave the building, and I say, "I bet you're happy to be out there, huh, Jimmy. You probably need a smoke or something about now, don't you?" Carole wrinkles her nose up, and Jimmy looks over at me sideways.

"I don't smoke," he says. "It was just a one-time silly purchase. Your ma scared the bejesus out of me when we showed up at your apartment and I had that cigarette tucked behind my ear." He laughs a little, and I laugh a little to be polite, but I am exasperated when I see Carole's smile directed back at Jimmy.

When we get to the diner, Carole and I order strawberry milkshakes, and Jimmy orders a vanilla shake with hot fudge poured on the top of it. Carole's eyes almost pop out of her head, she's so entranced with Jimmy's shake when it shows up at the table. Jimmy offers her a sip, and I am fuming when Carole leans forward and delicately puts the straw between her lips for a taste. Jimmy can't take his eyes off Carole. John isn't paying attention and is actually reading a comic he's just removed from his coat pocket.

"So, are you two an item?" Jimmy wants to know. Here's where I kind of messed up. I never asked Carole to be my girlfriend, but still, Jimmy did see us holding hands earlier today.

Before I can say anything, Carole says, "Oh no, we're just good friends," and the swallow of milkshake currently in my mouth goes down the wrong pipe, and I start coughing. Carole starts slapping me on the back, and Jimmy has the good sense not to laugh, but I see the smile on his face and the glint in his eye. I excuse myself and go to the counter to get a glass of water. On my way back to the table, I see Carole handing a napkin to Jimmy with something scrawled on it, and he puts it in his jacket pocket, and he has this self-satisfied look on his face. He glances up at me with a look of disgust plastered on my face, and his smile dims only a little.

My ma was right. Jimmy is trouble. Carole and I never hold hands again. Because we're second place in the regional science fair, we advance to the State Science Fair two weeks later. We meet in the gym at one of the local colleges and begin to set up our display, and Carole stops suddenly and holds her hand to her heart. I follow her line of sight, and in walks Jimmy. That darn guy is the worst. "I hope you don't mind," Carole says. "I invited Jimmy." She gives a small smile, and her cheeks turn pink. "We're seeing each other."

God. Jimmy. That guy. Had to be smart (who knew?), and of course, he had to be good looking (I'd like to give him another raging case of acne), and he had to have eyes for Carole (who I saw first). My ma says girls aren't worth losing sleep over at this age.

In the fall of our junior year, I expect to see Carole in my physics class, but I don't see her anywhere in the school and decide to find one of her friends and ask about her. Now, here's the thing. During the summer, I hit my growth spurt, and darned if Mother Nature didn't feel sorry for me. My frame filled out, and acne bypassed me. My ma says I'm a catch, what with my looks, brains, good manners, common sense, and respect for women. I find Carole's friend, Annamae.

"Hey, Bobby," she says and bats her eyelashes a little then pushes her hair behind her ear.

I take in Annamae, who I'd never really paid much attention to because I was smitten with Carole. Annamae is average height with golden ringlets framing her face. She looks me up and down. "You grew this summer, Bobby. I did a double-take this morning when you arrived at school." She blushes with the admission.

"Yeah. I grew a bunch over break. It was about time," I laugh. "Uh, I didn't see Carole in physics this morning. Is she doing a different course this fall?"

Annamae shakes her head and looks down, a sad expression on her face. "She's staying with her aunt in Vermont this semester." When she says the last part, she makes quotation marks in the air with her fingers.

"Oh. That's a shame. Is she still with Jimmy?"

"He didn't turn out to be such a great guy," Annamae says. "He said he didn't want a baby messing up his plans for the future. When she asked what about her, he said he'd never asked her to be his girlfriend and a bunch of stuff about how he's too young to be tied down. Carole was crushed."

I shake my head back and forth and try to look grave. Annamae mirrors me. After we finish acknowledging Carole's bad turn of luck and Jimmy's lack of character, Annamae says she's going to the football game on Friday and asks if I'm going, too.

I hadn't planned on it, but I tell her I am planning to go, and she says she'll save me a seat. This time, I don't worry about Jimmy swooping in and seducing girls I like. Jimmy is now a known quantity (and perhaps a threat for this year's regional science fair). I can be indignant on Carole's behalf, but she made her choice. And I have to say, although my outward appearance has changed, all the stuff my ma poured into my head stayed put. These things she's told me, these things she's warned me about, things she's still telling me…my ma knows.