A Magnetic Personality

A Magnetic Personality

The kitchen was silent, except for the soft hum of the old white refrigerator. Had the thing fallen asleep? Mina dared not get her hopes up. So, her tired brain pointed out that evil entities probably never needed sleep. Holding her breath, she willed her stomach not to rumble as she inched close enough to peer around the kitchen doorframe at the side of the refrigerator. A barely audible growl issued from it. Mina scowled. The vicious thing must be psychic, because her fluffy socks had not made a sound on the hardwood floor. As quietly as possible Mina let out the breath she had been holding. Clearly her enemy did not need sleep.

Once again, Mina regretted not stocking the cupboards. If she had known that mother nature was going to unleash the storm of the century on her new neighborhood, she would have postponed her juice cleanse and stocked up on groceries. Hindsight was an arrogant bugger. So, her only sustenance for the last four days had been walnuts and wheat crackers. Thank goodness Mrs. Twillet had packaged fresh-from-her-tree walnuts in a large tin and left a note saying, 'For the road ahead, my dear'. The wheat crackers were to nibble on during the move, but luckily, she had not opened them on the drive. Another hunger pang made her wondered just how long a person could survive on those two things. Her stomach gurgled and Mina's hands shot up to cover her abdomen, as if to muffle the sound. This made her bandaged wrists ache and she groaned softly.

A louder, deeper growl echoed around the kitchen.

"Stupid magnet," she muttered.

"None shall pass!" It growled.

Mina cursed and squeezed her eyes closed. With each passing day, she regretted not tossing that hideous magnet—along with the rest of the strange stuff the previous owners left in the attic. Then again, not in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined that any of it would come to life and hijack her food supply. Being frugal and using the magnet to cover the rusty scratch on the ancient white refrigerator was clearly not the best choice. The crazed magnet depicted the upper half of a 3-D grim reaper. Each hand clutched a small scythe, and he kept them crisscross over his chest until she came near the refrigerator. Printed beneath his torso were the words, 'None Shall Pass'.

"That is my refrigerator and those are my juices," she snapped.

He let out a low rumbling growl that tapered off into an evil chuckle. On the bright side, the maniacal demon magnet seemed to be confined solely to the refrigerator. On the dark side, the little jerk seemed obsessed with letting her juices spoil. Thankfully, the generator was keeping them safe. Mina huffed softly and immediately stiffened at the sound of metal clanking together. Covering her ears, she cringed as two razor-sharp blades slid slowly across one another. She stomped her feet and another snarl reverberated around the kitchen. Mina sagged back against the hallway wall and squeezed her eyes closed. For now, there was no escape. The rain was still coming down, although not as heavily, but the street was flooded as far as she could see from the attic window. Her neighboring houses were still completely dark and devoid of any life. Not a single person had returned home. They entire community had packed up their children and dogs and gone into town to attend the annual Penville Spring Jubilee.

Before they left, a few of her new neighbors had dropped by to try and coax her into joining them, but Mina politely declined. After all, she had moved to this small town to find some much-needed peace and quiet. Unfortunately, that plan was now stamped with a big fat 'FAIL' in bright red letters. Peace and quiet was the goal, not total isolation and torment. In less than one hour, the sudden and violent storm felled huge trees and distributed random debris everywhere. The electricity went out, along with cellphone reception and the internet. She had no doubt that the bridge to town was damaged, if not gone completely. It seemed unlikely that anyone would be back anytime soon.

Mina sighed and pushed herself away from the wall. The reaper growled. She rolled her eyes and stepped into the kitchen, keeping her backside pressed against the edge of the counter. With a swooshing sound, the magnet slid away from the rusty scratch and glided to the edge of the refrigerator door. Brandishing his gleaming scythes, he glared at her with dark black eye sockets. She glared back. He growled. She stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. With lightning speed, the three-dimensional reaper lunged toward her, swinging one scalpel-sharp blade and then the other. Mina flattened herself against the kitchen counter, barely out of reach.

"Psycho!" She muttered.

"None shall pass!" He rumbled.

"I know. I know," Mina spat back.

He glowered at her and snarled.

"I'm sick of that old chestnut," she muttered. "You need a new catchphrase."

His snarl became a growl, and she rolled her eyes. Moving to the far end of the large kitchen, Mina began opening the cupboard doors, even though she knew they held nothing more than a few cans of vegetables that the previous owners had left behind. After checking the 'best by' dates, she had opted kept them. Unfortunately, the cans were useless without a manual can opener. Luckily, the wet food for MacGyver and Fletcher had pop-tops. Mina placed a few clean dishes, a spoon, and six cans of wet food inside her favorite woven grocery bag. Again, she stuck her tongue out at the reaper before ducking back through the doorway. She snickered as he howled and snarled. It wasn't much of a victory, but it was all she had—and by golly she'd take it. Trudging back down the hallway and up the stairs to the bathroom Mina once again wondered when and how this nightmare would end.

For now, she would keep searching for the article on demagnetizing a magnet. She had tried different ways to capture or destroy the demented little reaper, but all she had managed to do was mutilate the old refrigerator. Now, her only hope of neutralizing this magnetic menace was the information in that article. Mina exhaled a long slow breath. Although her hands ached, she managed to open one can of salmon and dole out two nice sized portions for her feline friends. They were both holed up in the library and firmly ensconced in the two highest cubbies of their ten-foot-high kitty castle. Proving that they were far smarter than she was, both cats hissed and high-tailed it out of the kitchen the very instant the reaper became animated.

"MacGyver? Fletcher?" she called out. "Breakfast."

They both mewed softly but remained hidden. After sliding a saucer into each of the cubbies, Mina flopped down onto her favorite overstuffed chair and picked up a pack of crackers. There were only three packs left now. Opening the large sage green flower-embossed cylindrical tin, she grabbed a handful of walnuts. Her gazed traveled over the rain-soaked yard and garden as she popped a walnut into her mouth.

"Mm, breakfast," she grumbled.

The reapers rumbling growl echoed up the stairs and then tapered off into an arrogant chuckle. Mina huffed again and opened the pack of crackers. Her stomach gurgled loudly, and another deep growl echoed up the stairs.

"Oh, shut up!" she yelled.

"None shall pass!" It bellowed in a garbled voice that made her think of marbles tumbling over one another—Idiotic, psychotic, magnetic, evil marbles.

"Don't make me get the sledgehammer out again, because I might actually manage to smash you to bits this time. That'll change your tune permanently, you maniac!" She bellowed.

This set off a series of growls and more sinister scraping of metal across metal. Mina rolled her eyes once more and gingerly picked up the kid’s science magazine that lay open on her desk. Hopefully, it held the answer she sought.

"If only I could remember where I read it," she muttered. "I must get this right the first time."

Fletcher peered out at her. The orange tabby licked her lips and watched her human curiously from the opening in her cubby. An hour later Mina dropped another magazine onto her desk and rubbed her tired eyes. MacGyver and Fletcher peeked out at her.

"Maybe, if I clear my mind I'll remember," she told them. "I'm going to meditate."

Closing the library door, so that the cats could feel a bit safer, she went into the small den just down the hall. After lighting an incense cone, she placed it in the base of the green dragon incense burner that lived in the corner by the window. Mina sat on her meditation pillow and watched the aromatic smoke drift up from the dragon's snout. Eventually her eyes closed. Against her will, her thoughts crept back to the night this nightmare began.

She had closed the refrigerator door, adjusted the four-inch wide and five-inch high 3-D reaper magnet, and wished that she could stay away from the refrigerator. It was at that precise moment that lightning crackled overhead and a spark passed between her hand and the reaper. He glowed bright white and then rippled like liquid metal. Another bolt of lightning took out the electricity and the only light in the house came from the little reaper. Believing this to be nothing more than delirium from lack of solid food, Mina grabbed a small juice and trudged off to bed.

The next morning, as she yawned and reached for the refrigerator handle, she felt a searing hot pain across her knuckles. Opening her eyes, Mina saw blood spattered on the refrigerator door and dripping from her hand. Luckily, she looked back up in time to see a sharp and shiny curved blade, the size of a small butter knife, coming at her other hand. She staggered backward and stared at the reaper. He growled. Mina snatched up the closest dishtowel and threw it over his extended blades. While she ran cold water over her wound and then pressed paper towel to it, the reaper shredded the dishtowel.

"None shall pass!" He bellowed and blocked the refrigerator handle with one bloody blade.

Over the next few days, Mina tried to reason with the crazed reaper. Then she gave up and tried to smash it with a sledgehammer, trap it in a waste bin, cover it with a metal container and slide it off of the refrigerator, and sever it with her rotary saw. During her failed attempts she discovered that the little reaper could glide quickly across the surface of the entire appliance, much like a hockey player on ice. Although, the dents and gashes helped to slow him down it bit.

Now, in lotus pose, Mina took a deep breath and refocused on clearing her mind of these stressful thoughts. That lasted about thirty seconds before a loud rustling sound came from the library, followed by a crash. Mina scrambled up and bolted down the hallway. She flung open the library door to find Fletcher and MacGyver looking up at her. They both sat on the floor next to a pile of her magazines. Her gaze swept around the room. Then, she turned toward the stairs and listened. It was quiet.

"I'm hungry!" Mina yelled.

"None shall pass!" The reaper instantly howled back.

Relief washed over her as she slumped back against the doorframe and took a couple of deep breaths. Exhaling loudly, she slid down onto the floor to sit beside the cats. The reaper growled softly, but Mina huffed a little laugh.

"You two nearly scared me to death," she whispered.

Both cats mewed softly as Mina patting their heads and gave them each a good chin scratch. Then she set about picking up the magazines. Just as she reached for the last one, her hand hovered over it.

"You found it," she exclaimed. "Oh, my little loves! You both get extra treats for two weeks."

The reaper growled and grumbled.

"Growl all you want, buddy-boy," Mina said in a sing-song voice. "While you still can."

She grabbed the magazine and dropped into her puffy chair. Out of the five options in the article, she had only one choice. Heated to a high enough temperature, a thin magnet could be demagnetized. So, Mina gathering her portable winter heaters, placed them in an arc around the refrigerator, and plugged the fifty-foot orange extension cord into the generator. The reaper grumbled and growled and scraped his blades together as she slid a square of particleboard up against the base of the refrigerator. If this worked, it would melt onto the board, and she would not need to scrape anything off the tile. The thought of him leaking down into the floor and tormenting her forever made her shudder.

"If you will stop this nonsense," she told him "I will not do this."

His skeletal face twisted into an even angrier expression. A dim light began to glow within the deep darkness of his hollow black sockets as they scrunched into an evil glare.

"None shall pass," he snarled, dragging each word out.

"Well, then. Have it your way," she muttered. "But, for the record, I am sorry."

Mina took a deep breath and began to turn the heaters on. As the heated air reached him, the reapers growl grew louder. He began to slide back and forth across the surface of the door in search of a cool spot, but soon there was none. As the rooster clock on the wall next to the refrigerator ticked away, the reaper began to slip down the door—fighting and clawing all the way.

Mina swallowed hard. Her pulse raced. The reaper lashed out with his scythe's while roaring and snarling at the heaters, but they were beyond his reach. Another minute passed and his movements grew slower. Mina almost felt sorry for him, but then her hands ached, and she turned the heaters up. The reapers growl was less venomous as he slid to the bottom of refrigerator door and dangled there for a moment. Then, he groaned and plopped down onto the board. Mina watched him. He did not move or make a sound. She heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the counter. Suddenly, the now soft and pliable, warped magnet raised up as the reaper dug his wobbly blades into the tile. With tremendous effort, he used the blades to pull himself up to the refrigerator door.

Mina exhaled a groan and slid two of the heaters closer to him. The reaper turned and lashed out wildly in a desperate attempt to fulfill his mission; a mission that Mina had unwittingly assigned him. As his scythe's shriveled and melted onto the board, he moaned furiously and struggled to regain his post. Mina slid the heaters closer and flinched as his face began to liquify. First his mandible stretched and dripped onto the floor. Then his skull, hood, skeletal hands, and robe melted over those infernal words, 'None Shall Pass'.

An hour ticked by as she watched and waited, but the reaper was now a solid black blob on the particleboard. Mina exhaled slowly as her gaze wandered over the refrigerator. It was a total loss. And now, she would be forced to get a new one.

Two weeks later, Mina's hands were almost healed, but she wore long sleeves to keep her neighbors from asking uncomfortable. The debris and fallen trees were cleared from the streets. The electricity, cell towers, and cable were repaired. The sun was shining. The sky was baby blue. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened—almost.

Mina stood in her driveway and watched as the delivery men hefted the old mangled white refrigerator onto their truck. When they first saw the banged up, slightly scorched, scratched, gouged and blood-spattered appliance, their confused expressions were priceless. Suppressing a grin, Mina wondered what theories they were concocting as they glanced back at her and then scrambled into the truck and drove away.

A neighbor from across the street called out and waved. Mina smiled and waved back. Maybe peace and quiet did not mean that she had to completely close herself off from the whole world, all of the time. She closed her eyes as the warm breeze caressed her face. The birds chirped and flitted about in the trees. A lawn mower started up. A dog barked. Things were getting back to normal.

Taking a deep breath, Mina turned and went back inside to find MacGyver and Fletcher snuffling the new stainless-steel refrigerator. Mina had always disliked stainless-steel. It was cold and sterile and nearly impossible to clean. Plus, it made her think of hospitals. But, after surviving the last crazy few days, Mina decided that she could live with a cold and sterile none-magnetic appliance.

On the wall, next to the refrigerator, there hung a large wooden shadowbox with a white frame. Every magnet that Mina had collection over the years was now hot glued to a soft yellow fabric background behind a pane of glass. She sighed softly and straightened the shadow box, although it did not need straightening. Fletcher mewed and MacGyver tilted his head.

"Right, my lovelies," Mina cooed to the cats. "Time for lunch."