My Favorite Human

Oh, where am I? It’s dark and cold. I’m really uncomfortable. Did they leave me alone again? I can’t hear anything. Have I always not been able to hear anything?

Hmmm. I’ve got to find them. Ohhhh, that hurts. Maybe if I stretch my back a little. Ahhh, that feels better. I need to get down from here and find them. Where are they?

I hop down off the couch and plant my feet on the rug. I need to stretch again. Man, I am tired. Maybe if I cry out, they will come to find me. Time to get moving.

“Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!”

Oh - there’s that bumpy thing that feels so good against my cheeks and chin. I got to get some of that. Ohhhh yeah, that feels good. It smells just like me. Oh, that’s good. What was I doing again?

Oh yeah, “Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!”

Ohhh, that’s cold. I can see the light over there, but why do they keep it so cold in here when it’s dark?

Can’t they hear me? Maybe they are like me and can’t hear much either. Sometimes, if I pay close attention, I can hear a little squeak. But man, it’s hard. Too hard. It just makes me want to cuddle up on the couch and sleep.

Well, I have to keep going. They must be here somewhere.

“Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!”

It’s dark over here, and I don’t see anything. I don’t feel any movement.

“Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!”

Why can’t they hear me? Maybe they are upstairs, locked in that room they won’t let me in when they are in there. I sometimes go in there when my favorite human is downstairs in that other room he locks me out of. He makes all kinds of faces when I come up to the desk to see him. I try to play hide-and-seek and go behind the light screen so I can surprise him from the other side, but he makes faces and puts me back down on the ground. We play that game three or four more times. It’s fun, but then he locks me out of the room. But it’s ok, it gives me time to go take another nap.

“Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!” climbing up the stairs.

Man, these stairs are getting harder and harder to climb.

“Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!”

Oh, I see a light. It’s that other human. I like her, but not as much as my favorite. My favorite human is around more. I’m relieved, they didn’t leave me. I can stop yelling and rest easy.

She says something to me, but I can’t hear her. She reaches down to rub behind my ears. I thank her for scratching me. At least I think I do. I can’t hear myself anymore, but I can tell the difference between yelling and talking normally by how hard I have to try. I think I am talking normally.

Now it’s time to find my favorite human. He must be in the locked room. Oh, I see a crack in the door. I can push my nose through the door and announce my presence. I think I said it loud enough. Since I can’t hear him, I’ll let out a warble to let him know I am jumping on the bed.

Ahh, he is here. I need to see his face. I crawl across his back and walk in front of his face so he can smell me. I love his smell. He smells good today. Hopefully, I smell good to him.

Now he’s playing with me, pushing me away from his face. I can see his mouth moving, but I can’t hear what he is saying. I just feel the air coming out of his mouth.

He abruptly gets up and goes to meet the other human in the water room. I like the water room. I can jump into that trough they stand in and lick up the water left there.

He presses his lips to hers, and they hold each other for a moment. I wish he would pick me up and hold me like that. I try to tell him, but I don’t think he can hear me.

He gets in the trough, closes the shade around it, and turns on the water. I used to hear the water. Now I’ve learned to feel the change in the air when they tell the water to come out from the ceiling. I know because I saw them do it once, and I remember how the air felt.

There are also these different smells that waft through this room. Some I like and some I don’t. I don’t like the smell they rub on themselves.

He’s done and has wrapped himself in this fur that doesn’t feel like mine. He then changes out of that fur and puts on some new fur. I wish I could change mine as they do. Then I wouldn’t have to clean myself so much. Then again, cleaning myself is fun. I get the urge to do it all the time. If I had exchangeable fur, though, would I rub something on myself as they do? Maybe I just want the fur I have.

He comes out of the room with his new fur, and I tell him that he looks good. I like that fur. But then he walks down the stairs and grabs another layer of fur and something out of that small room that has my treats. I love my treats.

Then he goes down to where my poop and pee box is that they wait too long to empty. I can feel the vibration. I know he is leaving. I run upstairs to the lookout point to see if I am right. I see him in that big black box that moves away when he gets into it. He’s leaving. Why didn’t he say goodbye? He left without saying goodbye.

Time to eat and maybe get something to drink. Oh boy, this tastes really good. I’m so hungry and can’t eat enough. Maybe I should have some water now. Ohhhh, that tastes good. Man, I am tired. Time for me to hit the hay. I’m going to go to that soft platform where my other favorite human would sleep.

I don’t see her too much anymore. She only comes around every so often. She stays for several days, but then she leaves again. I like the smell of her bed. I miss her. I wish she would come back soon.

Ohhh, I don’t feel well. A pain in my stomach woke me up. Maybe if I stand up, I’ll feel better. Oh no, that didn’t work. I walk in circles to see if that will help. Oh no, that is not helping. I start to gag and then heave all over the corner of the platform. Ohh, that’s a relief. Maybe I should go downstairs and sleep on the couch again.

I jump up, do a few circles to mat down the padding. I drift off to sleep again.

I feel the vibrations again. My favorite human must be home. I hop off the couch and make my way to the stairs, where he will come up. I feel a whoosh of air, then a bump on the floor.

Ohhh, it’s not my favorite human, it’s the other one. I say hello, but she doesn’t respond. I see water on her face as she is climbing the stairs. Why didn’t she say hello? Even though I can’t hear her anymore, I can still see her mouth move. She usually reaches down to scratch me, but today she didn’t.

She has that small black object up to her ear. She talks into that. I can’t hear her, but I see her lips moving and more water coming out of her eyes. She’s in the kitchen. I’m going to jump up onto the ledge there. I can get a better look at her, and more importantly, she can see me and make up for not scratching me yet.

I’m on the ledge, but she doesn’t look at me. She is talking and walking in circles. More water is coming out of her eyes. Then she presses the object with her thumb and then tucks it into her fur. Then she leaves again without saying goodbye.

Why did she do that? I don’t understand these humans. I guess it’s time for a snack and a nap.

I wake to the vibrations again, and I am excited to see my favorite human. I go over to the stairs, but he isn’t there. It’s the other human and the human I like that I don’t get to see very often. Well, if I can’t have him here, they’ll do.

They come to the top of the stairs. My other favorite picks me up and holds me tight. She has water on her face, too. She puts me down, and then I go to rub up against the other human. This time, she reaches down to scratch me. I feel so much better now. Still not as good as having them all here, but much better than before.

My second favorite human goes upstairs to her sleeping platform. I follow her, but then I see her look at me with an angry face. I don’t like that face. She started pulling the covers off the sleeping platform. Oh yeah, I got sick there earlier. They all make faces when they have to clean up my sick. Oh well, it doesn’t taste as good the second time, so I let them clean it up so I don’t have to eat it to get rid of it.

She goes to bed after changing the covers, and I get to sleep on the pillow next to her. She doesn’t lock me out of her room.

I wake up, and I don’t know where anyone is.

“Hello! Hello!” I say, “Hello! Hello!” as I descend the stairs.

I walk around the house calling out “Hello! Hello!” but I don’t see anyone.

I take naps, get up to eat, get some more sleep, and then go pee. The two girl humans come home again and do the same things as yesterday. What’s weird is they still have water on their faces. Something seems wrong. My other favorite human keeps picking me up and holding me tight. She always did that, but not as much as she does now.

The same things happen day after day. They leave. I follow my routine of eating, sleeping, and relieving myself. They keep leaving me alone and coming back with water on their faces.

Then one day I feel the vibrations, and I get up to go see the two girl humans, but they don’t come up the stairs. Instead, the other door opens, and there he is. My favorite human is home. I am so excited. I tell him how happy I am to see him.

But something isn’t right. He has red lines across his face and something around his neck. He has sticks he’s leaning on, and he doesn’t move right. I walk slowly over to him and tell him I am happy to see him. Not yelling, just in my normal voice. But he doesn’t reach down to scratch me. He also doesn’t smell like he usually does. He smells a little different. I can’t place it. Just different. I rub up against his leg to mark him as mine again. I hope he doesn’t go away again like my other favorite human.

He slowly comes in using the sticks to help him walk. My second favorite human comes in with a folding sleeping platform that doesn’t lie flat. It has curves in it. She sets it up in front of the screen that lights up. My favorite human lies down on the platform, and the other human takes his sticks.

I really want to see him, but I am afraid. I don’t know what’s going on. He looks and acts differently, but the other two don’t have water on their faces anymore. That seems like a good thing.

I circle the platform a few times, then he lowers his hand to my level. I rub up against his hand excitedly. I think this means I can jump up and see his face. I give out my warning warble and jump onto him. He puts his hands on me and holds me to his chest. I can see his face better now. Those red lines are cuts like when I got in a fight with that cat down the street. That must hurt. I know mine did.

I can hear him breathe and feel his heartbeat. He must be ok. I tell him I missed him, and we fall asleep.