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Prologue

My 39th birthday was a turning point in my life. It was the day on which my life’s path turned from a gentle meander in the park to a frightening and fast moving roller coaster ride. Even now, several years later, I look back in amazement hardly able to believe that such things happened to me. But they truly did and I am determined to record the events of my 39th birthday and the days that followed, now, while they are still fresh in my memory.

Before I can relate my story I must go back in time. My dearly loved, but long departed, grandpa unwittingly (and with the best intentions in the world) caused this upheaval in my life when he made his Last Will and Testament. I wonder if Grandpa can see, from the other side, what one simple sentence in his will did to me. For reasons best known to him, he left my share of his estate tied up so that I could never use it until I was completely free from Edward. Edward, who had no idea that Grandpa disliked and distrusted him so much, until that moment, was deeply hurt. I knew how Grandpa felt because just before our wedding he tried to bribe me into postponing the wedding. He offered to pay my fare to England so that I could have a working holiday there. I had several friends doing that at the time and Grandpa hoped that if I tasted freedom I would be less likely to settle down to married life; especially with Edward.

I had graduated from Teachers’ College and Edward was a junior partner in Father’s law firm and while Father was delighted Grandpa was not.

‘You will turn into a carbon copy of your mother,’ he said to me.

‘What’s so wrong with that?’ I asked.

‘Nothing if the only person you want to be happy is your husband. I don’t think Clare ever thinks of herself or what her kowtowing to your father has done to you,’ grumbled Grandpa.

I didn’t want Grandpa spoiling my enjoyment. I was young, only 22 years old and I believed myself in love and I was setting up house with my new husband. So I replied rather crossly that I was marrying a clever and hardworking lawyer and that should ensure a great deal of comfort, security and happiness for me. In my defence I can only say that I was young and in love and Grandpa, I believed, was wrong. Edward was nothing like Father and I would not become a door mat like my mother.

Obviously Grandpa never warmed to Edward and though it was all worded in legal jargon Grandpa’s Will said that I had to be free from Edward for 12 months before I could access the money and if I never became single then my children would eventually inherit the lot. I could not even have the interest.

Over the next 17 years I had plenty of time to reflect on Grandpa’s words and eventually it dawned on me that the person getting the most out of our marriage was Edward. He came and went as he pleased. He had someone to have sex with whenever he was in the mood (I was so pitifully lonely that I gratefully accepted even his poor and infrequent efforts at love making) and he had an unpaid housekeeper.

I didn’t know it then but I badly needed to learn how to live for myself and to make things happen for me. I was getting too old at 39 (just turning) to expect some fairy-tale ending. But to be brutally honest I believe I would have gone on playing second fiddle to Edward forever, if he and fate had not pushed me onto a different path.

The Birthday

‘Wake up! Sleepy head,’ said Edward as he walked into the bedroom with a beautifully laid breakfast tray. I was immediately alerted that something, other than tea was brewing. Edward had never before brought me breakfast in bed. Even when I had influenza I was left to fend for myself. Why had he suddenly changed?

‘Do you want something Edward?’ I asked rather ungraciously. Edward was never Ed or Eddie and that simple fact goes a long way to explaining my husband and indeed our relationship.

‘You have a suspicious mind Kathleen’ said Edward ‘I just wanted to surprise you on your birthday.’ Even though I preferred the warmer and more intimate sounding name of Kate, I was always Kathleen to him. Edward tried to smile as he arranged the tray over my legs and sat beside me on the bed.

Grandma’s best china tea set had been used to make my birthday breakfast but instead of making me feel all warm and fuzzy, as such an action should, it irritated me no end. A simple mug with a tea bag would have done the job. But no! Edward had to come up with a more pretentious way to make tea. I poured two cups of tea and nibbled the buttered toast that had been spread with his mother’s home-made marmalade. After seventeen years of marriage Edward should have known that I do not eat marmalade and always spread vegemite on my toast.

Then he absolutely took the wind out of my sails because he presented me with a gift-wrapped box that was so small that it just had to come from a jeweller. I opened it to find a beautiful single yellow diamond quivering on a fine gold chain. I had to admit that Edward had exquisite taste when it came to jewellery. I put it on and Edward looked pleased at the way things were turning out. He even refrained from his usual comment of how much better it would look around my neck if I only lost a few kilos or ten. Try as I might I could not achieve the lean and hungry look that he admired so much in the clever young things who worked for him in his law practice.

Something was up, but I did not have the nerve to question him. When I try to remember how I felt at that time I think my only strong emotion was that of fear. I truly believed he was getting ready to tell me he had found someone else. What would I do? How would I live? I would have to look after myself for twelve months before I could get Grandpa’s money and no one would want to employ an inexperienced primary school teacher who had completed her training almost twenty years ago. I was scared.

But Edward surprised me, he did not ask for anything as simple as a separation. He had something more devious in mind. ‘You know Kathleen,’ he enunciated softly and calmly as if I was a half wit ‘we could really do with an injection of funds into the firm at the moment.’

‘What do you mean? Father’s firm has always been very lucrative’ I said.

‘Not any more it isn’t.’

‘Well you take a substantial wage. Why didn’t you cut back on your drawings if the firm was in financial trouble?’

Edward did not like criticism and he took a deep breath to calm himself before saying ‘we have lost a few cases lately. Your father should retire. He is making mistakes and we are all paying for it.’

‘Are you asking me to try to get a job? There is nothing else I can do because we cannot overturn Grandpa’s Will. You said it yourself. I think you described it as rock solid.’

‘We could split for twelve months and once you have the money we could reconcile.’

‘No,’ I said emphatically ‘that is out of the question.’

‘I’m warning you, we must get that money, you will be sorry if you do not reconsider.’

They were the last words Edward ever spoke to me. He marched out of the room, picked up the keys to my car and drove off at top speed right over the cliff at the bottom of our driveway.

I heard the crash; jumped out of bed and rushed down the drive. My car was a mangled heap at the bottom of a very steep ravine. Someone must have alerted the authorities because the next thing I heard was sirens blaring and the rescue team began abseiling down the cliff.

Everything after that is a complete blur, my mother and father arrived. A doctor came and gave me some magic pills that sent me into a happy place where tragedy did not seem so painful. I was still frightened about facing life alone, but in some small corner of me there was a feeling that I would never again have to worry about Edward’s unpredictable moods. It wasn’t until the next day that my nightmare began.

My mother and father stayed with me on the night of Edward’s passing. Thanks to the pills I had taken I slept well and didn’t wake until 9 o’clock the next morning. Staggering out of bed (still somewhat groggy and still in shock) I wandered into my lounge room where two policepersons were waiting to talk to me. I was politely invited to make my statement at the station. When I tried to decline I was informed that it would be better at the station and I realised it wasn’t an invitation at all. Dressing quickly I went with them assuring my father that of course I did not need a lawyer because I could tell them very little and I asked him to find an undertaker and make an appointment to see someone that afternoon.

Things changed at the police station. I was taken into a room and told that the interview would be taped. I thought I was making a statement, not being interviewed, and when I said that, the police looked at each other and smiled. It was as if I had made a strategic mistake. I did not understand their body language and I had a niggling feeling this might not be a pleasant experience for me.

Tell us about your marriage?

Why are you asking me this? What has my marriage got to do with the accident? I asked.

Are you sure it was an accident?

What else could it be? Are you suggesting suicide? Believe me I know Edward and he would never commit suicide.

Was your car kept in repair?

Yes I said Edward was a stickler for that. Only yesterday his mechanic rang to say the job was done on my car.

What job was that?

How would I know? Edward always looked after the cars, I replied. I was confused I did not understand the undertones in the room.

Who repairs your car?

I told them the name of the garage and one of the police officers abruptly left the room, while the other offered me a cup of coffee which I gratefully accepted. I couldn’t remember when I had last had a warm drink. I knew it was the day before but that day was such a blur I couldn’t tell you if I had eaten or drunk very much at all.

Sipping the warm coffee made me feel somewhat better until the officer returned to tell me that the garage had not worked on my car at any time in the last month.

Try to remember everything that was said in that telephone conversation.

Well, I replied he…

So it was a man?

Yes.

Was it usually a man who rang when your car was ready?

No the garage have a receptionist who is a nice young girl and she usually rings to say that they will bring the car to me when I am ready.

So this time it was a man. Did you pick up the car?

No I said because the car was already in the driveway.

But that was unusual….

Yes very, but that did not occur to me at the time. Edward does I mean did things his way and I quickly learned not to question him. He did not like to be questioned.

Try to remember the exact words used by the man who rang about the car suggested the officer who had provided me with coffee. He seemed to be the kinder of the two and he had a soothing and gentle manner about him.

Well he said Mrs Blaxton is your husband at home? I said he would not be home for a couple of hours and he said please make sure you tell him as soon as he returns home that the Honda is fixed.

Did you know there was anything wrong with the Honda?

No.

Did you go anywhere or drive the car that afternoon?

No.

More strange body language followed and one of the police officers looked me straight in the eye and said But didn’t you have a hairdressing appointment as usual that day?

No I said I cancelled it. We, Edward and I, had planned to go out for dinner for my birthday and I arranged to have my hair done the next day.

Did you cancel your appointment before or after the phone call from the garage?

After, I think.

More smirking. What was happening? I should have rung for a lawyer, but at that stage I did not know what was going on and I had no reason to suspect that Edward had not simply misjudged the corner when he tore out of our driveway. He always drove dangerously and at last his self-proclaimed superior skill at driving had let him down.

Tell us about your marriage? Were you happy?

Yes we were reasonably happy. As happy as any couple who have been married 17 years and not blessed with children can be.

Were you trying to have children?

Yes.

Why didn’t you go to the IVF clinic?

Edward refused he said if it was meant to be it would happen.

Did you know that he’d had a vasectomy?

No! That couldn’t be. Wouldn’t I have known? I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, my throat tightened and breathing became difficult. That was such total betrayal; even for Edward. I was shocked and I needed time to absorb this new information. But time was not available to me. The interrogation went on relentlessly.

Did you always read everything you signed for Edward?

No he got angry if he was questioned and would sulk if I didn’t trust him. Early in our marriage I decided it was easier to let him have his way.

I thought it was over I had walked out of the police station not knowing what I had given away and I was still perplexed at the way they had taken my statement. I went on with the funeral arrangements while the police continued digging.

They found out a lot of things. One, Edward had his vasectomy soon after my grandfather’s death. The Will said my share of the money would go to my issue, but there had been no provision made for the eventuality of my death occurring before I had children. Edward being Edward made sure that there would be no children so he would get Grandpa’s money if something happened to me. Two, the brakes did not have any brake fluid in them. It could have been an accidental oversight from the garage or it could have been caused by a leak. It could have been an accident but the police did not believe that. They suspected foul play. Finally they found out that Edward had been keeping a mistress on the side. All his late nights of working hard had been pure fiction. He had made the mistakes, not my father, because he was cutting corners buying time to carry on with his affair.

Unfortunately I had kept Edward’s last threat out of my statement. I did not like to admit what a poor relationship I had with Edward. I did not realise in my naivety that I had told them all they needed to know about our relationship. So we both came to a conclusion. I realised with stark horror that Edward thought I would drive my car right over the cliff after the ‘job was done on the Honda’. I had not given him the mechanic’s message and he had taken my car and failed to brake at the end of the drive and sailed right over the cliff. I hope he realised in time that he had blown it and his murderous plan had trapped the wrong person. I can only suppose that he had arranged to have the Honda ‘fixed’ if and when I refused his other plan and for some reason the job had been done early. I wasn’t sorry that I had not given him the mechanic’s message.

The police, however, had come to a completely different conclusion. They arrived at my door the day after Edward’s funeral.

‘Mrs Kathleen Blaxton you are under arrest for the murder of your husband Edward Blaxton you do not need to say anything but anything you do say can and will be used in evidence against you.’