Party in the desert

Party in the desert

There was a sweet atmosphere that morning. Sunshine, with a light cool breeze. The windows were open and the white and purple kitchen curtains, were moving back and forth, creating and erasing shadows.

The peach tea was particularly tasty, though warm, for the temperature, that July day had. Ainsley finished her sugary cookies and continued to sip her tea and nibble at the red berries in her bowl.

She took the invitation in her hands. The envelope and paper, were a bright lemon color and the letters were gold. It was a little tiring on the eyes, but certainly impressive.

At three in the afternoon, it said. In an oasis with trees, waterfalls and tables with white tablecloths, with lace and embroidered roses. Everyone was welcome and would have a wonderful time, the imposing paper promised. It even had an official seal from the “Society”.

The “Society” held the party every year, for young people turning eighteen. It was promising. Ainsley had heard a lot of stories about it. She had many expectations and she was certain it would be absolutely amazing. A life changing event that would leave her satisfied and make her wiser and happier. Everyone would be accepted and welcomed. Nobody would be left without a seat at one of the tables. The atmosphere would be cool and relaxed.

Ainsley was hesitant. She had no good reason not to go. If she had a daisy she would pluck it and obey whatever the humble flower had decided.

As she was finishing her tea, she had decided. She would go. What did she have to lose? At least she wouldn’t wonder later or feel guilty for not trying.

After she left the shiny pink tableware, she had eaten breakfast on, in the sink, she went to the bathroom. She filled the bathtub with hot hater, which matched the color of the tiles and looked turquoise. Her shampoo and shower gel smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. Getting out of the tub, she wrapped herself in a peach towel and went in her bedroom. The morning light fell on the lime green walls of the room making it even brighter.

What to wear? She opened her closet wide. Something simple and composed, but at the same time to stand out and show self-confidence. Definitely in a shade of green. She chose a mint colored dress and put it on. On the back and in front of the neck it was made of tulle, a little lighter green than the rest of the dress. On the torso it was fitted and silky and opened from the waist down, into a long impressive skirt, to just below the knees. Her ginger hair, fell in waves over her shoulders, creating an exotic effect on the greenish dress.

Her perfume created a cloud that smelled of dahlia and jasmine. She rubbed her lips together applying her sparkly lip gloss, the color of pomegranate seeds.

She looked at the time. It was still very early. She wanted to be there at exactly five past three. That way, she wouldn’t arrive early like she was desperate, nor would she be right on time so that she would appear strict and loyal to every rule, but neither would she be late as if she was showing no respect.

As a final touch, she slipped a silver bracelet, with green diamonds, onto her right hand. In front of her there was a large round mirror. Her glasses made her green eyes look huge. If she were crying tears of joy or sadness everyone would see it.

Now it was time to get started. She put on a pair of satin ballerina flats, about the same color as the dress. They would pinch her when she walked, but everything had to be perfect and matching.

She got out of her small stone house with the lilac painted window frames, crossed her garden with the healthy grass, the white lilies and pink roses. It was time for the party she had been promised. She was nervous, but it was the kind of nervousness of excitement and impatience that fills the stomach with butterflies. She would do her best. Full of courage and determination, she felt light, almost like she was floating. She would talk to everyone and get to know as many people as she could. There was no reason to be intimidated. Every single person was welcome and would enjoy this event, more than anything else they had ever experienced.

Lost in her thoughts, it seemed to her that she arrived very quickly. She saw the sign pointing to the party venue and followed it.

Where was the oasis, the waterfalls, the trees? The ground beneath her was dry and cracked earth. The sun burned dangerously above her head. She begun to sweat. The tulle of her dress had stuck on her back and was making her really uncomfortable.

She had to stay optimistic despite her sudden disappointment. Perhaps the trees had dried up and the water had evaporated from the heat. These things happen. She should go and find the others. Everything would be alright, they had promised.

Moving deeper into the desert, she came across the tables with the other guests. The tables were so many, that she found it impossible to see where they ended. There weren’t any delicate tablecloths. The tables were poorly made with metal legs and clear glass on top.

Ainsley didn’t get upset, but rather excited as she observed the young people sitting at the tables. They had all put effort into their appearance. Some of them were overly resplendent in a not so flattering way. Ainsley discretely fixed her hair with her fingers and walked towards one of the tables. She sat down at the empty chair.

The group stared at her and they immediately started making fun of her appearance. They detested her orange hair, they thought she was really skinny, they were disgusted by the freckles on her cheeks and found her big glasses extremely weird.

Ainsley was so surprised, that she couldn’t speak. She stood up, leaving them laughing. Everything would be alright she would go to some other table. Maybe they hadn’t read in the invitation that everyone was to be accepted. They were so sure of themselves or so they seemed.

At the next table, the people greeted her and they started chatting. They talked about books, movies, music, travels, politics. Later on, they shared their struggles and their opinions on various issues. When Ainsley expressed a different opinion from theirs, they frowned and whispered. She tried to be as polite and patient as possible and not take it too personally, but she couldn’t abandon her ideas, it would be hypocritical. She evaluated their ideas and tried not to insult them. Why couldn’t they try to do the same? She began to feel unwelcome and question her own notions. After a few minutes they asked her to leave.

There was no empty seat at the next table. They explained to her that only people with a certain personality and appearance were allowed to be part of their group and if she wasn’t one of them she shouldn’t have bothered. So Ainsley moved on.

Was she the only one to have read the invitation? Surely they wouldn’t all get along. They were all so different and complex. Perhaps accepted and welcome meant kindness, respect and opportunities without judgment. That was how she had interpreted it.

She had been having a miserable time so far. She was getting hot and dizzy form the sun. Her ballet flats made a terrible sound on the dry ground and she could feel the skin on her heels tearing from the uncomfortable material of the shoes.

Each rejection made her feel a little less optimistic and a lot more nervous. She clenched her fists and raised her chin towards the mean sun, that seemed to have come closer to her. She would not give up.

From a distance she saw an empty seat and run to get there before a boy, who was walking slowly towards it. The group encouraged her to take a seat. They were talking eagerly, laughing and asking questions to one another, but Ainsley had trouble following. She was very bored and wasn’t interested in almost anything they were discussing. She stood up, discreetly and the group didn’t even notice she was leaving. They had treated her well so she felt bad for leaving, but she couldn’t stay there, where she couldn’t participate in the conversation.

A very interesting conversation was taking place at another table. Ainsley spotted it and walked deeper into the desert. There was no chair available but she didn’t mind standing. After listening for a while she shyly decided to speak. They shared stories and exchanged heated opinions, finding common ground as well as differences that made the interaction all the more interesting. Sadly, the table had no empty seats and the group refused to make room for a new chair. Maybe they were afraid. Maybe they weren’t sure if she really wanted the seat.

Ainsley felt the pain on her neck from all the effort. Her skin was red and her vision was blurry. She sighed in disappointment. Maybe there was something wrong with her. She was probably unlikable, hideous.

Just when she had convinced herself that everyone had found a table, she looked around and saw many young people wandering around in panic, unable to find a place. Young and vulnerable people were being rejected and criticized in the worst possible way, about their skin color, their ethnicity, their gender, their sexual orientation, their physical characteristics, their weight and body type, their opinions and habits.

She tried to talk to them but as soon as she approached them, they disappeared from her sight. Perhaps they were also trying to get closer to her and she was getting lost too. Fear and constant disappointment made them all more distant and less real.

Anxiety overwhelmed her and she started running extremely fast, out of breath, from the heat, as the sun continued to burn her. As she passed through the crowded tables, laughter pierced her ears. Many people pointed at her and commented on her failure. The dust from the ground made her cough and prevented her from seeing in front of her. Putting her hands over her eyes, to shade them, she continued running awkwardly.

After a while, she managed to get out of the desert of tables and reached a clearing. A small patch of grass created a kind of shelter and the tall trees blocked the imposing sun. It was almost dark, but there was a sense of safety and calm.

She lay down, in a fetal position and removed her shoes to face her battered feet. Her dress was torn in many places and probably could not be repaired.

Little white daisies were blooming around her. If she had plucked one at home, she now wished it had told her not to go to the party.

In her home, she watched and listened to people live or virtual talking about a new, beautiful and accepting world, that didn’t make the mistakes of the past that had troubled many generations. Her expectations were high. When all this, didn’t come true at the party, Ainsley felt betrayed. She fell from the highest summit to the deepest point of the ocean.

The dark green leaves of the trees moved gently like the purple curtains in her house. She was alone. She felt less lonely than she had a moment ago at the desert party. She gently rested her head on the soft ground and closed her eyes. The temperature was dropping and the daises that surrounded her and got tangled in her ginger hair, protected her in her sleep.

She felt safe there.