A choice in a forest

The beautiful Forest of Clardens welcomes its guests with open arms. With the absence of warmth in my own life, I feel drawn to walk in to the woods and get lost. The trees swaying softly on the windy day, fills me with joy. I walk inside the dense forest with my camera and notepad, ready to start my journey of studying the new species of herb my lab had discovered. This project needs to go perfectly.

“You take the east side Julie. Andrew and I will walk the opposite way” Karen, my colleague says deadpan as she’s busy with unlocking her bag to take out her glasses. Andrew and her have a thing. They can make any excuse to find some alone time.

“Would that be okay Julie?” Andrew asks. I just smile and nod awkwardly.

“She’s seasoned now. She’s got it!” Karen remarks, faking a laugh and patting my shoulders to signal solidarity that I know is feigned.

They both walk away, laughing cheerfully and mumbling to each other. I watch till they disappear in the thick of woods as I slowly start walking towards east and stop near a waterfall. I crouch at the level of the herb that has a golden sticker at its base that I had marked last week.

“Let’s take a look.” I bring out my measuring tape to measure its length.

“3-inch growth” I say to myself. I bring out my camera while holding the measuring scale close to the herb and keep losing the grip on my shoes in the slippery soil. Finally, when I get a good alignment of the plant and my scale, I bring my camera out once again to snap a picture when I notice that my camera is dead.

“Damn it” I say out loud remembering how dumb it was to not have my phone as a backup. This day is a failure.

In my frustration, I kick a rock nearby. I immediately feel the sharp edges of the rock piercing through my toe and I just cry.

With my torn shoe and bleeding toe clearly visible now, I limp to a nearby tree log to rest.

“Hey Sweetheart. Everything alright?” I turn my head to see an older blonde woman who appears to be in her 60s staring at me with concerned eyes. “I heard a cry.” She says walking towards me.

“Yeah sorry. It’s nothing. I just tripped.” I say apologetically, feeling bad that I made her panic.

“Oh, you don’t have to be sorry. Let me take a look” She says immediately sitting down next to me and taking my foot in her hand. “I know exactly what you need.” She says while sifting through her bag.

She opens a transparent bottle with some herbal paste inside. She takes a handful and starts applying it to my foot.

“I often get injured when I take walks in this forest. So I keep it handy. You will not feel any pain and the wound would be gone in a day” She says with gentle reassurance.

“Thank you so much ma’am” I tell her.

She doesn’t leave. She looks at me curiously.

“What’s your name?” She asks.

“Julie. Julie Stans.” I say.

“Julie.” She repeats smilingly. “And what are you doing here?”

“I work for Horizon Tech. I’m a botanist there. This herb is a new species. I’m here to collect all kinds of data about it.” I tell her.

“Interesting. This herb was part of the medicine I just put on your foot.” She laughs.

“Really?” I ask shocked. Last week my team could only find four of the herbs in the entire forest.

“Yes. These plants are everywhere in Semoa park. I’m surprised scientists are so far behind.” She says smirking. I feel it sting a bit. The small victory that I could celebrate with my team last week was diminished by this brutally honest but kind woman.

“Well you know, scientists need all types of permissions from the government. We can’t just walk in and….” I start defending myself when she cuts me short.

“You can do whatever you want. If you cared enough, you would’ve discovered things long ago.” She says bluntly. “Sorry if it’s a bit rude.” She says, aware of how she sounds.

“You’re right. Things could be simpler and faster.” I say.

She smiles at me but hits me with another hard question. “Why did you kick that rock?” She asks.

“Oh that, I, my camera ran out of battery. And I don’t have a phone. Taking a photo of the herb is very important. It’s a weekly update. But I messed it up” I tell her nervously, not looking forward to her judgement.

“A dead camera frustrated you that much? That’s hard to believe. There has to be something else” She exclaims.

“It’s just been a hard month, okay?” I finally confess to her. “I lost my mother, a month ago. I could only take a leave for five days and had to immediately get back to work and, I miss her, a lot” I breakdown and tell the truth to this kind stranger who closely resembled by mother, in her clothing, her warmth and kindness and her blunt judgement about my work.

“Oh honey” She says and gives me the warmest hug that I desperately needed. “This is how your workplace uses you. They just want you to make money for them. They don’t care about your wellbeing.” She says validating all the feelings I felt all along.

“I know but I can’t really quit, you know. Without having anything else lined up.” I tell her.

“To hell with that. Like I said before, you can do whatever you want.” She says lovingly rubbing my back. “Your mother would want you to be happy” She remarks. Then she asks another hard-hitting question “Do you have any friends and family that can take care of you?” She asks.

“Oh. I had a best friend but she moved to another country and we lost touch so..” I say.

“You must be having a really hard time dealing with the loss of your mother on your own.” She says. “Here, have some water.” She says as she notices my eyes welling with tears again.

“You can pray to Goddess Naella. She can guide you.” She tells me.

“Oh. Which religion is that?” I ask

“Does it matter? I pray to her all the time. That’s why I’m such a strong woman today. It’s my ninety sixth birthday tomorrow” She says.

“That’s not true.” I say, brushing it off as her being silly to lighten my mood.

“It’s true. That’s what happens when you live a stress-free life and worship Naella.” She says with a blissful smile.

“Naella.” A woman calls out running towards us.

“You’re Naella?” I ask her. She nods her head yes and looks proud.

Suddenly it starts raining heavily. The nicely swaying tree branches were suddenly flaying rapidly as the wind picked up speed. The rain started hitting my face as sharp fat drops, feeling like needles pinching my skin.

“You have a choice. Come with me. Join us. We’ll leave for Clovertown tomorrow morning. This is your only chance to escape that slave life.” Naella says.

“I, but I don’t even know you.” I say panicking.

“Why does it matter. What am I going to do? We’ll take care of you like a sister. You have no one else here to look after you.” She says.

“But, this is so sudden.” I say.

“You didn’t even know my name sweetheart. But you told me everything about you. It’s a sign that you’re a bit naïve. This world is ruthless and young women like you who are so alone end up in a very dark place. Please listen to me and accept my help. God put me here to take care of you.” She yells confidently.

I pause realizing how much truth there is in her words. The world is cruel and I have no help, no one to rely on. I’m way too polite to be on my own. Maybe God did put her in my path so she could help guide me.

“It’s now or never.” She says as the rain gets more aggressive and the clouds get thicker in the forest blocking all sunlight and bringing an eerie feel in the atmosphere. Her two followers leave us and run to seek shelter.

Naella extends her hand. It reminds of when I fell down and hurt myself while walking home in the rain as a rebellious act against my mother. My mom extended her hand toward me while she held an umbrella above my head. I was six then and I knew I could always trust my mother to keep me safe and protected.

Naella, is exactly like her. I feel safe and protected when I listen to her. But as I’m about to take her hand, lightning strikes and I move my hand away in panic.

“You need to hurry” Naella says.

I suddenly realize how vulnerable I had gotten. I always relied on my mother for everything. Then I grieved her. And instead of finding my way back I’m deciding to join a lady who claims to be a goddess and apparently wants to take care of me. This is a cult.

“No thank you.” I say while I run away leaving my notepad next to the herb as it gets drenched in rain. I run back to my car and see my colleagues waiting in the backseat kissing.

I bang on the window loudly as they stop and open the door.

“Oh my god Julie are you okay?” Karen asks.

“Just shut up. I was hurt in the middle of the forest and it was raining and I was gone for good two hours. Why didn’t either of you come looking for me?” I yell at them anger seething through my ears. I know they’ve never seen this side of me. This side only comes out when I’m alone and calms down as I throw things in my room.

“You guys are callous.” I say shaking my head in disgust as I get in the car’s driver seat and they sit in the back.

“I’ll drop you too off at the bus station” I tell them.

“Julie. Babe. I know you’re upset but I have to plan my son’s birthday. I need to get home early.” Karen says.

“Oh its his birthday. Why wasn’t I invited? I heard our entire team is going. Isn’t it Andrew?” I say getting impatient.

There’s a dead silence rest of the drive as I drop them off at a bus stand.

1 month later~

I walk through my new farm spread over a thousand acres. I crouch looking proudly at the tiny herb growing in my farm. I had quit my job at Horizon tech and bought a land after selling my mother’s house. Such drastic change hit me when I realized that I considered joining a cult just to escape my misery.

Now, I choose to be happy on my own!