All the Lonely People

🏆 Contest #184 Winner!

Contemporary Fiction Romance

Written in response to: "Write a story where a character has to decide whether to press the button or not." as part of Technical Difficulties.

MONDAY 


I tap my foot nervously on the shiny marble floor as I watch the numbers descend. I’m going to be late… again. It really wasn’t my fault. I’d had my hours swapped with George this week, so he could leave work in time to pick his kids up from school, while his wife recuperated from surgery. I now needed to be in the office by 10.00 instead of 8.30. You’d think that would make me early. However, since I was finishing later, I’d tried to get to the gym in the morning. Well that was a mistake. It was either shower and be late, or skip the shower and arrive stinky and sweaty. I figure that my coworkers would prefer a late me, than a pungent me.


The brisk tap of heels alerts me to the fact that I am not the only one running late today. A side glance shows her pushing her wind swept hair behind her ears as she juggles a fully loaded satchel bag and a briefcase with one hand, while she reaches for the call button on the wall. I’d already pressed it, it was already lit, and pressing it again will not make the elevator move any faster.


The numbers stop at ground floor and the doors open. I gesture for the woman to precede me into the space and she uses her elbow to press floor 23, one floor above my own. I press 22 and stand back. It is just the two of us, and without trying to be obvious, I check her out. Tiny, with short black hair that curls about her ears, which sport a pair of Air Pods, and a killer figure enhanced by shiny black heels. I am a sucker for heels, but how the hell did women walk in them?


Hi, I’m Adrian. I don’t say, but wish I could. 


She smiles at me, a little half smile to acknowledge my presence accompanied by a fractional nod of the head.


I’m… well I don’t know her name, perhaps it’s Jane or Alice. What about Elizabeth? Sarah? I think I will call her Eleanor. You know like the Beatles song. We’re all lonely people here. I’m Eleanor.


So Eleanor, how long have you worked… I run through my memory of the building’s occupants. Floor 23 is a legal firm, I think. Jackson and Fuller is on the official gold name plate in the foyer. How long have you worked at Jackson and Fuller?


It’s my first day. Well I haven’t seen her around so it could very well be her first day, but she has a lot of papers stuffed in that briefcase. 


Actually I have worked for them for six years. There is no way this girl can be old enough to have worked for them for six years. She looks about twenty five.


I’m doing my Internship and have been here two months now. That is better. And you? She would ask me, she would be as interested in me as I am in her. 


I’m an Assistant Accountant at SP and Associates on the twenty second floor. I would tell her, just so she would know where to find me, should she be interested. I have worked there for the past three years.


Do you enjoy your work? Would she really ask such an inane question? Maybe it was small talk. What else do two people trapped alone in an elevator ask one another? 


I wonder if she is single, and I cast my eyes sideways, trying to get a look at her fingers. I can’t see, but I’m going out on a limb here… She’s single.


I can see her head moving slightly, nodding to the beat of music that only she can hear. It’s entrancing as if she were in her own private world and I was viewing her through a window.


What music are you listening to? I would ask. She’s so cute, that she would be listening to something cool and hip. Perhaps an artist I’d never heard of, or something jazzy, or classical. 


Miles Davis, she’d say. Of course I’m a big Miles Davis fan and I ask which album. Kind of Blue. Yep, she would be listening to my favourite album.

The ding of the elevator hitting my floor, halts the conversation we’re not having and I smile at her as I exit. 


TUESDAY


Although I am technically early to work the following day, having skipped my morning workout, I linger in the foyer, hoping to see my Eleanor again. Finally I realise that I’m being an idiot, there is no reason that she will be here today, just because she was here yesterday. As I press the button to call the elevator, I hear the tip-tap of heels on the marble floor and turn my head. There she is again. Her black curls secured this time, but her satchel and brief case still bulging.


Hi, again. I would say it, but I’m still struck mute.


Hi, yourself. Her voice would be husky, or maybe not. It might be breathy or high pitched, I don’t know. But for me, it’s a warm, throaty sound, reminiscent of Scarlett Johansson.


Did you get to work on time yesterday? I would ask. But how the hell would I know if she was late or early? 


Yes, thanks, I might be a bit late today though. Slept in. She doesn’t look like she slept in, she looks clean and fresh and incredibly relaxed for a Tuesday morning.


I find it easier to be on time if I start work at 8.00. Starting later just sees me wasting time in the morning, and all of a sudden, I’m late again! I would say and she would nod in understanding.


Yes, it’s hard to get going when you have extra time to kill in the morning. I would prefer to start early and finish early too. She would agree with me, we are both morning people in my mind.


Perhaps we could meet up for a coffee before work? That wouldn’t be creepy. Two adults who work in the same building meeting for coffee, it’s nothing too alarming. I almost open my mouth to ask her, and then realise two things almost simultaneously. I’ve never actually spoken to her, and this is my floor.


WEDNESDAY 


Again I wait until the last possible moment to press the button, hesitating with my hand hovering in mid air, but the click of heels on the marble floor never comes. So I reluctantly press it and wait until the elevator arrives. I delay entering until the last possible moment, before I take my solitary place within the lift. 


Just as the doors begin to close, I hear the now familiar staccato tap, faster and more urgent this time, as if she was running. I shove my hand between the closing doors, causing them to bounce open again and there she is, breathless and grateful. She smiles at me and I smile back. Our first real interaction, first eye contact, first word.


“Thanks,” she murmurs so quietly that I barely catch the sound as it tumbles from her lips. 


I just smile and nod back, my words caught behind my lips unable to force their way free.


You’re welcome. Running late again? I would ask if I could.


I just can’t seem to get the timing right in the morning. She would reply, her eyes twinkling ruefully.


Perhaps she is not the morning person I had believed her to be. Maybe it would be better to catch up after work for a drink and maybe some live music. I know a place around the corner from here that has live Jazz every night of the week. The Duke is a classy, classic Jazz bar, one of my favourite places to listen to music and unwind. We could get a table and share a bottle of wine with a meal. 


I get my phone out to check the website, to see who is playing there this week and the elevator stops at my floor. I step out, still focused on the website and don’t notice as the doors close behind me.


THURSDAY


This time I’m the one who is late. I’d had a cat emergency, Whiskers had left me a gift, a partially digested, totally unrecognisable gift that I discovered just as I was about to leave home. Therefore I missed the first bus and had to wait twenty minutes for the next one. I ran from the bus station, all the way to work. Lucky I’m fit and in the habit of working out.


The foyer is empty as I race through the glass sliding doors and my heart sinks with disappointment. She isn’t there, I’ve missed her this morning, thanks to my bloody cat. The last elevator is just closing as I arrive in a breathless rush, and I run to try to catch it before it shuts. A small hand reaches out to catch the door and it bounces open. 


There she is, my Eleanor. She smiles and steps back into her corner as I enter. A sound emerges from my mouth, it’s meant to be words of thanks, but I don’t think she hears them. I’m not even sure I spoke the English Language. Perhaps it was Neanderthal. I believe that’s a language I’m fluent in, especially if you ask my mother.


My turn to be late today, I would tell her. My cat. He’s a little bit feral still, even after fifteen years of the good life. He left a partially digested mouse in my foyer and I had to deal with it just as I was ready to leave. Would that have been too much information? Would she be squeamish? No she’s a cat lover too. 


She would laugh and tell me a story about her cat. Kitty is so fat she wouldn’t be able to catch mice, poor love. She eats only the best gourmet cat food, poached in spring water.


Do you only have the one cat? I would ask


One is definitely enough, wouldn’t you agree? She would speak with a smile one that shows how much she loves her cat. I adore Kitty, but I’m not quite ready to be a crazy cat lady just yet. Do you only have the one cat?


Yes, Mr Whiskers was a feral kitten I found out the back of my parents place about fifteen years ago. He lives a great life with me and has me wrapped around his paw.


Cats are like that. You need to be very careful, because they will steal your heart in an instant.


And an instant is all it took, but I was already in love with my Eleanor, however the lift stops at my floor and I step out.


FRIDAY


This is my last day on the late shift. George’s wife has recovered from her surgery and I will be going back to my usual shift on Monday. I’m so early this morning, that I pace restlessly about the foyer of our building, sipping on the cappuccino grande I picked up on the way to work. I am going to speak with Eleanor the moment I see her, I tell myself sternly. I’m going to ask her to the Jazz club, or coffee, or lunch, or just to exchange email addresses. Something. 


I pace the foyer some more, watching the minute hand on my watch creep closer and closer to twelve. I have to face it. Eleanor is not coming. Maybe she doesn’t work Friday, she could be only a part time employee. Maybe she is still studying while completing her internship and she is on campus every Friday. I admit defeat and enter the elevator. It closes grimly, no cry of “hold the lift!” is forthcoming and I ride it silently all the way to the twenty second floor. It’s the quietest lift I’ve taken all week.


This afternoon I have a heap of paperwork to finish up and sort out before I hand the files back to George on Monday, and so I am the last person in the office. Everyone else has clocked out and Dave, Maria and some others have headed off to The Craic for drinks. I wasn’t interested in loud, raucous fun. The Mike Freely Quartet was playing at The Duke, but I didn’t feel like sitting there alone, so I locked the office and walked toward the lifts, no spring in my step, just Friday exhaustion slowing me down.


I pressed the call button and waited, studying the tips of my scuffed shoes, without actually seeing them. Like an automaton, I shuffle into the elevator as the doors slide open.


“Hi,” the voice is soft. “Tough week?”


I snap my head up and see the other occupant sharing my lift. It’s Eleanor, and all of a sudden there is ‘Sunshine on a rainy day!’ I nod, unable to speak.


She smiles and sighs, “Me too.” This is the longest conversation we have ever had out loud!


It’s then that I notice that she is carrying a box, an A4 Reflex copy paper box, and it is full to the brim of personal effects. The item at the top catches my eye with its glinting gold plastic. A name plate, ‘Tamara Blank’. My mouth opens, then closes and I swallow. Tamara?


“It’s my last day,” she says.


The doors open on the ground floor and with a small sad smile she steps out before me. I hear her clipping heals tap across the marble floor toward the sliding glass exit, but I don’t move, and the elevator doors slowly shut in my face. I can see my reflection staring back at me in their shining metal surface.


‘Ah, look at all the lonely people’.



Posted Feb 05, 2023
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313 likes 222 comments

Zack Powell
March 05, 2023 02:07

1) I can't believe how late I am reading this, and 2) I can absolutely see which this one, and it's very well-deserved. This was amazing, Michelle. And that ending, oof! I got tricked by the Romance tag into thinking this was going to be a nice, cute Happily Ever After, and I think you made the right decision by going the more poignant route instead. Fits with the story a lot better, considering Adrian has all these conversations in his mind instead of actually talking to Tamara, and so it's a case of coulda/shoulda/woulda. Maybe something could've happened if he'd just spoken up, but now she's gone and he'll probably never know. Perfect ending for this.

Also 3) HOW did I never click the Follow button? I should've been following you by now. Forgive me for that.

I loved this. The formatting of the weekdays, the setup with George which frames the whole narrative and explains why this situation is happening now. It's a very meticulous story. Also appreciate how little *spoken* dialogue there was in here. That was the real secret sauce, the glue that bound everything together. Great storytelling and great win!

P.S. My favorite line was: "The ding of the elevator hitting my floor, halts the conversation we’re not having and I smile at her as I exit." (A fun line on its own, and an amazing sentence to segue into a line break.)

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Michelle Oliver
March 05, 2023 02:32

Thanks for reading it Zack. Perhaps I shouldn’t have used a romance tag… but it was a whole romance in his head, even though it never happened. The line you liked was one of my favourites too.

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Brooke Peterson
March 02, 2023 15:08

realy enjoyed this! kind od sad, but good! had me wishing they had gotton closer

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Michelle Oliver
March 02, 2023 22:01

That’s Brooke. Glad you enjoyed it and yes wouldn’t it have been nice for them to actually meet.

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Uğur Temel
March 02, 2023 06:37

I came across the story while I was just looking for a story to read, in order to practice sharpening my English level :) it wasn't just a practice but also fed by the soul as well,deffinitalley I should read much more novels like that.

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Michelle Oliver
March 02, 2023 09:56

Thank you for your lovely comment. I am so happy that you enjoyed the story.

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Bailey Middleton
February 28, 2023 16:08

Love it <3

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Michelle Oliver
February 28, 2023 22:21

Thanks

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Yeisha Lee
February 27, 2023 22:39

NOOOOO!!!! I was hooked!

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February 27, 2023 10:51

I really love this, it explored the cross-over between imagination and reality.

The fact that all it took was discovering 'Eleanor's' real name to shatter this incredibly real and tangible false narrative Adrian had created about Tamara was perhaps a lesson to not allow the mind to wander too far when making initial judgements about characters or scenarios in one's own life.

After all, no matter how much we believe we know somebody or know how something will go, our perceived reality is skewed by our own experience and desires - our own personal bias, as poor Adrian discovered!

To me, despite the character's overriding disappointment, it like a positive reminder to not allow a wandering anxious mind to predict future events or scenarios when truly, we have no clue what the outcome of those will be - despite our imaginations feeling so real. A brilliant and well-deserved win!

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Michelle Oliver
February 27, 2023 11:05

Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it thanks for leaving a very thoughtful and insightful response to the story. Personal bias does influence our perception of the world around us.

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Sophia Gavasheli
February 27, 2023 02:33

At first glance, the action of this story is so mundane: an office worker taking the elevator to work every day. But I was so pulled in! By chance, Adrian has met a woman and fallen in love through this insignificant, infinitesimal moment. And then it's over: he's back to his normal shift and she's leaving work. And that's disappointing but really representative of reality. Our lives are full of so many tiny moments like these; I love how you built a whole story around it.

I could really relate to how the MC had conversations inside his head; I do that all the time! Sadly, those conversations never occur, and you have to wonder, would Tamara have responded the way that Adrian predicted she would? I also like how Adrian gives the unknown woman a name; I do that too, and then I'm always surprised like Adrian when the person's name turns out to be completely different.

My favorite line: "I can see her head moving slightly, nodding to the beat of music that only she can hear. It’s entrancing as if she were in her own private world and I was viewing her through a window."

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Michelle Oliver
February 27, 2023 02:53

Thanks for reading and posting a review. I’m happy you enjoyed it.

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Tessa Takzikab
February 26, 2023 06:12

It's absolutely beautiful! I love how the whole relationship happens in Adrian's head. How the whole thing never was because of social anxiety. It's nice to make up stories for all the Eleanors who pass through our lives. I loved the story so much more than I can express. Thanks for writing it, I know it wasn't for me, but I appreciate it as if it was ;)

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Michelle Oliver
February 26, 2023 06:32

You are welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and responding. It was fun to write.

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Wally Schmidt
February 25, 2023 04:23

The way you've written this story you can practically hear the elevator doors closing and the sound of her heels clicking as she walks down the hall. I was really hoping the story was not going to imitate life and end in a missed opportunity, but hey, maybe next time...
I didn't love the MC less because he couldn't follow through on how he felt, I loved him more, because I come from a house full of brothers and I could so see each one of them being in this position
Congrats on the win! Reading more of you..

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Michelle Oliver
February 25, 2023 04:45

Thanks Wally, I was quite surprised at how many people resonated with the character. I think there must be a lot of introverts here.

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Amanda Lieser
February 24, 2023 14:50

Hey Michelle!
Congratulations on the beautiful win! I loved this story so much. It warmed my heart. I was worried it would be the trope of the creepy MC who has a bit of an unhealthy obsession, but I appreciated that it was a gentle, happy ending. My favorite line was the cat based emergency. That one made me chuckle. I love these characters and can’t wait to go to their wedding. :)

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Michelle Oliver
February 24, 2023 22:32

The wedding! Haha, maybe that will be in his own head too! Do you think he would imagine the whole thing…? probably not. Maybe she does… maybe I should retell from her point of view.

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Helen Yat
March 25, 2023 04:16

That would be fabulous. Can’t wait to read it!

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Annabella Bones
February 24, 2023 04:23

Thank you for sharing such a lovely story! I am a very hard person to captivate but your story kept me hanging on for more. I hope someday Adrian crosses paths with Tamara, but for now, bravo!

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Michelle Oliver
February 24, 2023 08:23

I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to read it.

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AJ Ullah
February 22, 2023 23:03

Good read, I felt sad for Adrian and he's so relatable - how many times have we wished we just spoke up.

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Eleanor <3
February 21, 2023 20:38

eleanor here!! :)) loved ur story, it was so well written. i appreciate a good beatles reference. nice work!!! <3

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Michelle Oliver
February 21, 2023 21:30

Thanks Eleanor.

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BRUCE MARTIN
February 21, 2023 04:10

Michelle, you wrote a really enjoyable and amazing story. I really loved it. The ending, of course, is a bit painful, since we were all undoubtedly rooting for Adrian to make a move.

As usual, I'm always thinking of ways to make endings even more wacky. How about if, as Tamara leaves the elevator, she turns to Adrian and hands him her business card, and walks away without saying anything. Adrian then stares at the card, with Tamara's phone number, and in his excitement, fumbles the card and accidentally drops it, the card disappearing through the crack at the base of the elevator door?

Nah! Your ending is better.

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Michelle Oliver
February 21, 2023 10:04

Thanks for the feedback. Wacky endings are great too. I’m imagining the poor introverted Adrian scrambling about the floor of the elevator and crying out in despair as the card slips beyond his grasp, into the abyss, lost forever.

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SQVCX SOS
February 20, 2023 23:45

I really enjoyed this story. The best part of it for me was that I could relate to being stuck in my own head and in result missing opportunities. I love the way that you write also it was very impressive. I wish you the best of luck with future endeavors.

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Michelle Oliver
February 21, 2023 01:10

Thank you.

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Elsa Hagoss
February 19, 2023 12:49

first it's nice story and pls Can u tell me about the antagonist of this story

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 13:09

There is no antagonist per se. This is a story about The MC’s struggle against his own nature for want of a better image. He is an introvert, fully immersed in his own fantasy of reality. He tries to fight against his nature, plans to speak with the girl but is unable to do so, therefore loses the struggle and is left with regret.

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Elsa Hagoss
February 19, 2023 14:30

Okay and i wanna ask u someother questions how can i get you..it is such amazing story i ever read and i wanna share to my classmates pls

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Erica Dorsey
February 19, 2023 04:15

Awwwwwwwww......... I so connect with Adrian as a person. It takes alot of bravery to ask someone out and I loved the conversations in his mind. It was wonderful.... I do that alot as well. He was adorable.
Also, this story about missed chances.....
So beautiful.... so sad.

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 04:29

Thanks you for your comment. It seems we all have a bit at Adrian in us, opportunities missed and chances not taken and a whole world inside our own imagination. Glad you liked the story.

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Roger Scypion
February 19, 2023 02:05

Very good story, the internal dialogue was excellent.

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 02:25

Thank you

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Priscilla Spence
February 19, 2023 01:45

I really loved this story. As an avid reader, I could see the story in my mind, as a movie. Especially the ending, with the reflection of his own sad face in the elevator doors. Disappointed in himself once again for his inability to overcome his fears and be the person he creates in his mind. I was that person years ago, she re-appears at times when I am overwhelmed or feel too inferior to speak. Other times I make jokes and stand out as a character who is remembered. But this really hit home. Who we really want to be to others, how we create those conversations we wish we could have but are too afraid of rejection or failure. Great work. Great win. Congratulations!!

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 01:51

Thank you Priscilla. I am truly surprised at the number of people who resonated with this story and the character. Thanks for taking the time to read it and for leaving your feedback here.

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Lorenzo Fusini
February 18, 2023 21:25

I was a total introvert a long time ago, and had a similar experience (but we didn't talk in the end): it was both painful and exciting, so I can totally relate to your story!
I like how you structured the imaginary dialogue. Sometimes, as a reader, it felt like it was too long, but hey, I've been there, my inner dialogues were endless!
The ending. At first it felt like something was missing, and that finding out her real name was pointless... but then I thought that the MC started his whole fantasy with the name Eleanor. Then at the end he finds out that it's wrong, and maybe his implicit thought is 'If my very first assumption is wrong, then I must have f* up almost everything else too... Better keep quiet.' Was this your idea with this ending?
Anyway, congrats for the win!

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Michelle Oliver
February 18, 2023 23:18

Thanks Lorenzo. I was going for the idea that reality crashes into fantasy and like a house of cards, it all comes tumbling down leaving him with nothing. I liked exploring the inner world of an introvert.

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Peter John Bauer
February 18, 2023 20:30

Started reading and couldn't stop. Kept hoping for their dialogue. Wonderfully done. Love this!

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 13:09

Thanks I’m glad you enjoyed it!

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Jane Andrews
February 18, 2023 18:20

Another great story, Michelle. And absolutely the right call to end it in the way you did without tacking on a rom-com ending. This is effective because it's all about missed opportunities and how we cripple ourselves with indecision, not daring to take risks. His imagined conversations with her make the story even more poignant. A well deserved win.

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 13:10

Thank you Jane.

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V. S. Rose
February 18, 2023 18:05

Great story Michelle. I really liked how I was pulled immediately into the main characters head and held there the entire story. I could feel like I was him, and that's definitely a skill in writing.

I feel like a lot of people can relate to this story: your secret crush who you have fantasy relationship with and really want to talk to, but can't seem to get over the fear of starting a conversation.

I would imagine most of us writers here on reedsy are naturally more introverted (seems to be a trait with writers in general) so it's likely a lot of us go through this scenario at least once in their lives.

It also paints a nice message to take action when the opportunity arises, or it might not be there for you anymore.

Congratulations on winning this week🙂🎊

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 13:12

Thank you. Yes I was very surprised at how much this resonated with so many people. And opportunities are not always going to hang around. Take risks, be brave, be bold!

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John Del Rio
February 18, 2023 17:11

I don't want to day something like "a well deserved win", because I'm sure that has been mentioned in other comments. I'm sure you had hoped to receive that type of response, and were gratified with the win and recognition.

But it was well deserved.

I enjoyed it quite a bit. I will read more of your stories when I can.

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Michelle Oliver
February 19, 2023 13:13

Thanks for reading and leaving a response

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John Del Rio
February 19, 2023 16:17

It had a Chicago high rise feel to me. Or maybe New York.

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Miriam Rhodes
February 18, 2023 15:24

Whoa, good story!! Flawlessly told, incredibly relatable, heartbreakingly frustrating! A well deserved win indeed!!

Reply

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