You Say Yummy-I Say Sinister

Prompt: Write a story about a misunderstood monster

You Say Yummy-I Say Sinister

The air is brisk. The leaves on the trees are turning vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows. The winds are howling at night. Could it possibly be wolves in the forest that are howling at the moon? No, it’s just the neighborhood kids on the prowl screaming at the top of their lungs. It is Halloween night and the little monsters are seeking to devour any confectionary morsels given to them by smiling residents who succumb to their cutesy, monster-like costumes. Each child is drawn to one house after another seeking to feed their insatiable appetite for sugar. 

But is it really sugar they are after? Adults jest how they are turning their innocent children into little sugar monsters. Certainly, sugar adds to the hyped energy the kids later show well into the late-night hours. The sugar monster gets the blame for the raucous behavior of the little ones.  But let me emphatically say, there is one monster we write off during this syrupy, honied, sweet frenzy that is Halloween. I am fearful to actually write its name. It is the Chocolate Ogre.  The beast is insipid and terrifying. 

Your first reaction might be, ‘oh come on now! How is it any different than a sugar monster?’ A sugar monster leaves the body once blood sugar levels go back to normal. Quite often the overconsumption of sugar leaves the little ones dehydrated, tired, crabby, and usually with a splitting headache. An over indulger won’t touch the stuff (candy for days at a time).  Why do you think that there is so much sugar candy left for next year’s Halloween? The over ingestion has subdued their sugar impulse brain centers for wanting more and more and more! But not the Chocolate Ogre!  That gustatorial demon wreaks havoc on our impulses that regulate our pleasure centers. It stimulates the body and hypes it up just like sugar. 

That’s not all! It makes us feel so good inside. Contented. Focused. Happy. It plants the feeling of wellness. It even helps one to feel more alert like caffeine. Over time the Chocolate Ogre works its dastardly effects. Unlike sugar, that is here today and gone tomorrow, the Ogre persists leaving a subtle craving for more over time! The evil Ogre has even spread its nastiness to another version called white chocolate, using milk powder to hide behind its despicable nature.

Okay, I know what you are going to say! Chocolate has sugar in it. Yeah, some. However, it is only enough to add a touch of sweetness. Like a kiss of honey, so to speak. It is actually the Chocolate Ogre that controls the Sugar Monster. The Ogre is so cunning. Why do you think candied cherries (yuck) are covered with dark chocolate? Because they taste like YUCK! On top of that, why does a person rummage through a box of assorted chocolates looking for the one or two they like? I’ll tell you why! Because the sugary centers often taste like YUCK! This is not a matter of coincidence, my reader friends! The Chocolate Ogre knows how to play mind games with our taste buds and brain pleasure centers. 

You still question me?  I can tell you from firsthand experience what it has done to me. Well, not exactly me. I avoid chocolate like the plague and a few other reasons. One such reason is the devastating effects it has had on my wife, Bertie. From the moment I met her it was love at first sight. Like any spouse she has a minor imperfection or two. But chocolate has scrambled her pleasure centers over the years. The amount of chocolate she now needs to satisfy her cravings would deplete the city of Hershey, Pennsylvania, in a single day. I am constantly having to run to the grocery store to buy chocolate bars or anything coated in chocolate. I am frantic to find chocolate on sale at any store. Her consumption of chocolate has forced us to take out a second mortgage on our home. When I think I have bought enough for a few days, I hear Bertie cry “Feed me! Feed me! Where is my chocolate?” I then find myself racing out to the store in the middle of the night looking for chocolate. Oh, the horror of it all!

On several occasions I tried hiding chocolate bars in the house. I came home one night from work, and the house was torn apart. I thought maybe we had been robbed. But I saw Bertie sitting in the front of the couch. Her mouth and hands were dripping with chocolate from the bars I had secretly stashed away under the mattress of our bed, under the couch, on top of the credenza, behind the bathroom mirror. You get the picture. She resembled a zombie coated in chocolate.

Oh, the horror of it all! The Chocolate Ogre had now personified itself as my wife Bertie! Her voice had become gruff. She would constantly lick her lips and drool. Bertie would murmur, “Give me chocolate. Mmm, I need chocolate.”  When she did eat the chocolate, it was like a vulture picking away at a dead carcass. Nothing was left; in some cases, even the wrapper was gone. We knew that this transformation of her persona had been ongoing since she was a child. Her mother, Olga, was never supportive of her during her formative years. She would tease her with only tidbits of chocolate while Olga sat in front of her eating bar after bar. On Halloween, Bertie was forced to eat only hard candy, especially the sour ones. Her mother, on the other hand, would eat all of the candy with chocolate in it or on it. It was the same for Easter. Bertie had to watch her eat all of the chocolate Easter eggs and bunnies.

My poor wife was a wreck. She agreed to get professional help. The therapist said she was addicted to chocolate. Yeah, duh! Tell us something we don’t know already. I could sense time was running out for my Bertie. Her addiction to chocolate was not only putting a hardship on our marriage, but it was also literally making her sicker and sicker.  The only food she could tolerate had to have chocolate in or on it. Chocolate covered (CC) éclairs, (CC) bon bons, (CC) cookies, (CC) hot dogs, (CC) spaghetti, (CC) cheese, (CC) eggs. You get the picture. 

The Chocolate Ogre was winning. Bertie now became the full fledge monster. The manifestation of the Ogre turned her into a 450-pound chocolate hound. Bertie’s menacing personality forced me to sign her up at a circus sideshow to help pay for her upkeep and much needed chocolate. She has her own tent and is known as “Bertie, the Orotund, Overbrimming Chocolate Ogre.” I visit her daily as she is still my wife who I have learned to love, all 450 pounds of her. She still knows who I am. Amid the dripping chocolate on her mouth and hands she still recognizes me. Unfortunately, her poor diet and overconsumption of chocolate sweets have corroded her teeth into spike-like fangs. A tad bit scary, nonetheless.

So, when I hear those trick or treaters in my neighborhood I cringe. I now post a sign outside my door saying, “Beware. The Chocolate Ogre Monster will eat you up from the inside out.” I post a picture of Bertie under it. No kid has dared to knock on my door on Halloween.

Know this. No demon, especially the Chocolate Ogre could ever take my Bertie away from me because we both are children of the God Most High.

“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” (1)

-END-

(1) Galatians 3: 26 (New Living Translation)

Author: Pete Gautchier

Acknowledgement: Reedsyprompts.com