The Court Journal

Someone dies in this story

Today I was in court for kids. it has another name I don't understand and can't spell. I didnt understand most of what was said, but I found out later i had a lawyer, and I was given a social worker, Miss nancy. She says I have to write what she called an essay with my thoughts. I couldn't spell the other word she used, something about water and being awake. I asked her what the essay was to be on, she said to just write things that have happened to me, that the court is looking for a full page a week. She told me most anything I write about is ok, as long as it is about me, and that writing a little bit each day is a good way to get a weeks worth for the judge. she says I need it for court soon, because the police said I put another kid in the hospital. I dont remember that, but if it was ricky, I sure hope I enjoyed it. He has been bullying me ever since grade 4. him, and his friends. Its been 4 years of not fun stuff. Ricky has lots of ways to bully kids.

Anyway, I am Charles, but i go by Charlie. I’m 14 yrs old, in eighth grade, and living in a homeless shelter with my mom, and my sister, Becky.

#2

Getting stuffed in a locker is a favorite of ricky and friends. Another is giving “flushies”- sticking someone's head in the toilet and hitting the handle a bunch. I got my share of flushies until I managed to swing one of rickys friends, who was holding me by my arm, against the toilet tank and he didnt get up for a few minutes. Another way they get at you is to trap you. In the hallways, in empty classrooms, the parking lot, just about anywhere in school. Teasing, beatings, wedgies, you name it. They put gum in one girls hair, she had to have her head shaved. She cried for days, and eventually moved to another school. School is their favorite place to abuse kids, but i am sure they do it everywhere. The teasing and bullying got so bad before and after school that the school had the four of them stand in one spot, watched by security, not to leave it until school starts, or their bus comes. When I saw Miss nancy this week, I told her I didnt have anything to write some days, she said that was OK as long as i have a full sheet each week.

#3

I dont remember knowing my dad, mom says he left when I was 5. Mom told me that he wasnt around much. We used to live in a house but got evicted when mom couldn't make the rent payment, so we ended up homeless for a while last summer, the three of us living out of our car. the police found us, and made us talk to the social workers, with everyone saying we couldn't live on the street anymore unless we want to go to jail. thats how we ended up at the shelter. its really a motel, one level, about 50 or so rooms. My friend, Tommy lives there, too. The pool is closed, which stinks. Not having a dad, and living at the shelter, is another tease from ricky. I can usually end the teasing, but at a cost. All I have to do is talk about rickys mom, and how she has sex for money, for free if she likes the guy. Or that maybe rickys dad isnt really his father. I was guessing, but it got ricky REALLY mad, and I got beat up. It was worth seeing ricky turn bright red.

#4

a bus picks us up for school, and drops us off, maybe 20 of us, from the Motel. I get a seat by myself, although Tommy is close by in the next seat, some students are afraid I will hurt them like they say i hurt ricky. sometimes my social worker, Miss nancy, rides on the bus with me. She says she is observing how I act with the other kids, to see if Ricky’s attack by me is a one time thing, or if I will do that to others, for her report to the court on how i am doing. Miss nancy says it is because after i hurt ricky, i ran away and hid for a day, until the police found me. i didnt have to go to jail, i just wore handcuffs for a few hours, until my mom picked me up and took me home after court, where I was given an ankle monitor.

#5

Miss nancy suggested I keep a journal, instead of the small pieces of paper I used,to help with my thoughts. Mom called it a diary, Tommy said a diary is girly, so I'm calling it a journal. I went to court today, with Miss Nancy. I found out for real I had a lawyer when I blurted out “ My lawyer-I have a lawyer? The judge said “yes, Frank Johnson, Esq. Please don't yell out in court, talk to Mr Johnson if you want something said”.

I asked Miss Nancy what that “Esq” meant, she said it was a fancy name for a lawyer. She also said that everyone gets a lawyer in court, to make sure they are treated fairly. She told me the judge wants my writing to get better, saying he wants me to use capital letters the right way, commas, all that stuff. Miss Nancy is showing me how, starting with this paper. My ankle monitor is a pain. it started to rub my skin raw. Miss Nancy showed me how to cut a sock up, slide it over my toes, and push it under the monitor. I figured out how to attach strings to it, and pull it up under the monitor by myself, and mom gave me some cream for the raw areas, that helps too. Then I found I had to wash the cutup sock, or it smells. I cut the first sock up some more, now i have two.

#6

Miss Nancy says I need to get good grades, that it will help me in court, and that it shows I’m trying to be better. She smiled when I told her I didn't know my life was bad, well, except for the times Ricky and his friends would bully me. I told her about some of the times they bullied me.. Sometimes they just called me names, like homeless, or bastard, once they found out I didn't have a dad. I'm the same size as Ricky's friends, but way smaller than Ricky, and, three against one, I always lose. If I report them for beating me, the school suspends them, but they just beat me sometime later for getting them in trouble. Miss Nancy says that shows a pattern, which will help me in court in the future. I try to stay away from them, but it isn't easy.

#7

I was feeling funny today, and after thinking about it, I decided that it was because I don't hate getting up for school, now that Ricky is in the hospital, his friends have been leaving me alone. I like Miss Nancy, because she explains a lot of things to me. She tells me things I can do to help myself, and what I need to stay away from, like drugs, alcohol, and Ricky's friends. Do well in school, and stay out of trouble. She says that if things go well in court, I won’t be found guilty of putting Ricky in the hospital. We talked about that for a while, and I told her I didn't remember beating Ricky. She said that one of her co-workers had visited Ricky, and was sure he was faking it, but that everything has to be proven in court.

#8

Miss Nancy told me today that Ricky left the hospital last week, and moved to a hospice. She said it was a place for him to heal some more before he goes home. I asked why it was taking so long for him to heal, I only wanted to know how much peace I would have before he was back. Miss Nancy said that was good thinking. She explained that he had been hit in the head and body with a wooden 2 by 4, which gave him a concussion, a broken arm and bleeding inside. I was quiet when she told me that, because I put together the injuries and court, and figured I was to blame. Not that I cared much. I told Miss Nancy that Ricky and his friends had done worse to me. She told me the school had a lot of cameras around the building, and they showed what happened. The cameras showed Ricky and his friends circling me, and hitting and kicking me, until I managed to get away, then picked up the 2 by 4, then turned around and beat up Ricky. She went on to say that my lawyer, at a hearing, showed lots of video in court, from inside and outside school, showing Ricky and his friends bullying me and others. He also had a thick stack of papers he gave the judge, saying they were hospital records of the kids Ricky had sent to the hospital. It was alot of paper. My friend Tommy, talked in court, explaining what happens to kids Ricky bullies. The other lawyer showed me hitting Ricky with the stake, but didn't stop the film, and it showed Ricky's friends running away when Ricky was getting beaten by me. Miss Nancy told me that is what cowards do- run.

#9.

Miss Nancy repeated that I had to behave, write my essays, and stay out of trouble, that the next court date was to determine if I needed to go to juvenile jail, or not. The judge wanted to continue the trial when Ricky could attend. Miss Nancy also told me the other lawyer was from the state, and wanted me in jail, but I was not to worry about what he said.

Mom told me it was ok to write about her problems with drinking and drugs. that her use of them was one of the reasons we got evicted. I told myself back then I wasn't ever going to use them. Mom got clean, with the help of alcohol and drug programs. Life got better when Mom was sober, because she no longer forgot to make meals, or clean the house, or do laundry. Mom says part of staying there is that they inspect for drugs and alcohol. She said if you are caught using them, you are evicted.

I told her I never want to be evicted again, so I wasn't going to be using drugs or alcohol, and that she better not, too. Mom also got a job at the local laundromat, washing, drying, and folding clothes.

#10

It's been a few weeks since my last essay. Mom and I were in court one day this week. Ricky showed up in court, in a wheelchair, a cast on one leg, and another on his arm. Ricky swore he never touched me, that he never hit me or kicked me. My lawyer then showed the video of him and his friends beating me. Ricky claimed it wasn't him, that it was fake. His lawyer showed the video of me beating Ricky, and the two lawyers started shouting at each other. The Judge pounded on the desk with his wooden hammer, and sent two of the guards to break it up. The Judge did not like yelling at all, and asked Ricky if the casts were real. Ricky sassed the judge, said “yes they were real, they were on his arm and leg, weren't they”?

The Judge then asked his lawyer to show proof of broken bones, with Xrays, specifically of the leg. I thought those were glasses you bought from the back of comic books. My lawyer whispered to me that they are pictures of broken bones. The Judge gave him 1 hour to produce them, and after the break, Ricky's lawyer still claimed he didn't have them. The broken arm already had been agreed to in court. The Judge stared at Ricky's lawyer for a long time. He then told Ricky's lawyer that he doubted they ever existed, especially when my lawyer showed a video of Ricky running around the hospice place, and doing pushups. A doctor told the Judge that I was in the emergency room often, he had a whole lot of pictures of my bruises, and a few x-rays of broken bones, with dates from past years on all of it. My lawyer had school attendance records for both Ricky and I, (Ricky had lots of absences). The judge said I was free to go, and ordered my ankle bracelet removed, but authorized Miss Nancy to keep watching over me, and set another date for a follow up.

#11

I have gotten into a new routine. School, homework, mom off drugs and alcohol, clean room, regular showers, doing things with Tommy. Miss Nancy says I still have to do essays for the Judge, to show how I am doing, and that the Judge was still expecting to keep reading my journals in the future.

I saw Miss Nancy today. She told me she had seen the Judge, and he was very happy with my progress. She had copies of my report cards, and said he liked how my grades and essays had improved. She also told me that the Judge was no longer going to make me give weekly reports, but wanted me to keep in touch. Miss Nancy said if I keep at the journal, I could give the judge reports every 3-4 weeks. I told her I would try. She embarrassed me by giving me a hug, and said how proud she was of me. She said she would give me an allowance,

#12.

Once Mom started working, she had me take her check to the bank each week because she didn't have time. One of Ricky's friends saw me go into the bank a few times, and told Ricky. They caught me outside the bank one day. I had stopped paying attention to where Ricky might be, because I hadn't seen him for a while. Ricky wanted to know if I had an account, and how much was in it. I told him I wasn't going to tell him. They knocked me down, and went through my pockets, then ran away. They didn't find the check.

A few weeks later, even though I was watching out for them, Ricky and friends got me again. Ricky got next to me fast, and told me he was going with me into the bank, and I was going to withdraw my money, and give it to him. Mom’s check was for $276.00. I tried to tell Ricky I only had permission to deposit, not take out, he didn't care. I decided I would start yelling when we were inside the bank. Ricky showed me a knife, and cut my shirt with it to show it was sharp, and he told me he was going to kill me if I did anything funny. He put his left arm around me, grabbed my shoulder, like we were friends, and pushed us through the doors. There are five steps going up from the door to inside the bank, and as I was on the top step, with Ricky slightly behind, and on my right side. I threw myself back and into Ricky, hard and fast as I could, yelling as we fell. I thought when we hit, he would let go, and I could get away. Instead, we went over backwards, down the steps, with me on top of Ricky. His neck hit the step edge, then the back of his head snapped down, and hit the step below. Ricky just laid there, it turned out he was dead. I didn't know that until I saw the video later. The police showed up fast, and later told me what they thought happened.

# 13

I was taken to the police station, where my lawyer, Mr Johnson, arranged for an emergency court session to sort out what happened. Mr Johnson had managed to get video from the bank, showing Ricky holding on to me, and the video had a few peeks of the knife. The state lawyer tried to say I killed Ricky, but the judge just laughed at him, pointing out that not only did Ricky have a knife, but his holding me so tightly added to his death. The Judge also reviewed Ricky's history, and said it was Ricky's fault he was dead. Then he said some legal stuff, banged his gavel, and left. I asked Miss Nancy what it all meant, she said I wasn't guilty, and was free to go.