Unplanned Romantic Getaway

The scenery outside our train tracks changed from the mountain wilderness we grew to call home to a more urban setting. Tree lines and creeks that escaped from the rock formations were replaced with occupied highways as drivers traveled to unknown destinations. Where they were going didn’t interest me at all, because the journey I undertook these last three days was something only The Creator could make happen. I couldn’t be more grateful, yet I found myself growing sad at the end of it.

Coco didn’t speak to me and actively avoided eye contact by packing up her bookbag. This bedroom on a sleeper train had been our honeymoon suite, despite being my regular room first. She found me and made herself at home to avoid the annoying kids stuck in coach. The excitement she brought from hiding in the bathroom so the ticket person couldn’t tell her to return to her seat, or convincing the new one who came aboard that she was my fiancée who booked the wrong reservations. The plan worked as she had a ring from her actual fiancé that looked like a hassle for her to wear.

However, when we weren’t scheming, Coco and I became something more than strangers in a unique situation. Puzzle pieces from two different pictures that fit perfectly together. The way she focused on me, listening to all my dreams and thoughts, and the joy of sharing her passions and desires. I found her, and she seemed to have finally found me, like a treasure that was her birthright. Words could no longer be the only things shared between us, so our bodies took over. We accepted each other, bare and unaltered. But now we were reaching our departure.

I attempted to make some conversation, anything to destroy this demon of silence.

“So…any chance you will make your way back west in the future?”

She doesn’t respond, only double-checks each one of her pockets.

“Ok, Coco, what’s going on? Because this isn’t you.”

“Oh, you know me now?” She says, finally.

“Did I do something wrong?” I sincerely ask.

“No…and that’s the problem.” She aggressively zips her bag closed and throws it to the side.

“I’m sorry,” I say as I nervously rub my hands together, not knowing how to defuse this situation. “I’m not understanding this hostility from you. We had a good time together…right?”

Coco crosses her arms and looks at me, pissed off at my mere existence, it feels like.

“How do you think this was going to continue, Malcolm? We exchange Instagrams, DM each other like we are just the best of friends. Never again speak of what we did these past three days?”

I have no words at all. Where did this animosity come from, and why toward me?

“Oh, wait,” she continues, letting out a forced laugh. “Did you actually think I’d fly out to you or vice versa so we can sleep together? A long-distance, unofficial situationship? You are actually hilarious.”

I am genuinely confused by her behavior right now, but I match her sassiness. “Oh, honey, I’m gonna need you to clear this up with me now. Whose room did you end up in when you thought coach class was too low for you?”

“This was a mistake- nothing more. I shouldn’t have even come here. Do you see this?”

She proceeds to stick her ring finger in my face, which is being anchored by a pretty hefty rock.

“I am supposed to be married in a month, Michael. A month!” Her voice is elevated now. It does make me flinch a bit.

“I didn’t ask you to stay in here with me. I didn’t force, bribe, or hold you here against your will.”

Coco softens her voice, making prayer hands like she’s about to tell me a secret.

“Listen to me, Michael. You’re not going to call me, ok? You’re not gonna text. You’re not gonna write. Shit, don’t send a damn carrier pigeon to me. We are not friends.”

She picks up her bag from the floor and goes to open the door. “We will never be friends.”

Coco must have the ability to control the weather because the clouds are affecting the afternoon light. The outside is becoming more urban as we pass abandoned factories and storage facilities. We still have a couple of stops, so this conversation can’t end like this.

“Wait, Coco.” I gently place my hand on her forearm. I’m not trying to get hit with a hammer fist to the face.

“Please… just talk to me like you did these past three days.”

Her fist is balled up as she stares into my soul with those piercing brown eyes. An inappropriate time for me to be turned on, honestly. She thankfully sits back down.

“Look, I don’t know why you turned on me out of nowhere or what I did, but I am sorry. I feel we made a connection I couldn’t have asked for. You are so kindhearted, funny, and passionate. This time, in my eyes, is a gift you only get once in a lifetime. And, call it messed up, but I don’t want this to end.”

Her eyes wouldn’t look towards me. A tear falls onto her jean jacket before she leans forward, grasps my hands, and answers me back.

“Michael, this has been an amazing three days. I have never felt comfortable with someone so fast. I was able to reveal secrets that I only shared with a handful of people. You made me laugh harder than anyone, and you actually listened to me.”

“So last night was what ruined everything?” I hesitantly ask.

“No, no, no…it wasn’t,” Coco reassures me. “I mean, it was wrong, but not in the way you are thinking.”

The train pulls up to a stop, five to go.

“Coco, I am sorry if I pressured you into anything. I would never…”

She cuts me off. Thank the Creator, because I would have rambled off our last moments.

“You didn’t force me to do anything… I wanted this, needed this.” She lets out a sigh as the train continues moving.

“Last night, it felt so natural. And for some reason, I can’t fully convince myself that it was bad. Something clicked between us, Michael, that I…had to feel it. Feel you.”

Her hands tighten around mine. I’ve never had a person speak the truth like she just did. I still feel the ‘but’ coming up, though. Our train has arrived at another stop, four to go.

“But this morning, as I lay with you and the sky was still waking with its beautiful red and orange that we love, it hit me.”

Her voice began to choke up as more tears flowed down her cheeks to the floor.

“This will never happen again. No rendition, no second chance. Just a moment given to us by whatever’s watching over us.”

I sit back and search for any reason why she was wrong, but I can’t find a negative factor. I knew before, so why is it so hard to accept it now? This is a soon-to-be married woman, and I just ruined her for life.

“I was never a guy to steal another man’s girl,” I say. “Especially if he already put a rock on her finger.”

That makes her laugh a little.

“But when we talked, shared our meals and bottles of wine, I felt like we…”

“Were something?” She cuts me again. “Yeah…I felt it too. But we can’t.”

“Coco, it was so easy with you. I…” My words are failing me. “How do we just go on from this?”

Coco sits back in her seat now, her eyes on her ring. “I don’t have a solution. We just have to.”

I didn’t notice it until now that we passed two more stops. I should start getting my things ready, but I still feel we need to say more to each other. She plays with her ring but continues with our conversation, hashing out all of the possibilities.

“If I call off the wedding, my family will hate me. My fiancé’s family will hate me more than they already do. There’s no telling what my actual fiancé will do. It will be all my fault. Of course, everything is my fault. Damn it, Coco.”

“Coco,” I snap her back to our reality. “Nothing is your fault.”

“No, it is. It is,” she says, on the verge of a panic attack. “I should have taken the plane, but no, I wanted to see the country. I wanted to be different. And now, I’m nearly falling in love over a glorified one-night-stand.”

That kind of hurt- I won’t lie. It's even more surprising that abandoning the life already paved for her is an option.

“Coco, I think our road ends here. We have to go home. Right?” I ask, wondering if she would really change her mind. She was still staring at her ring to the point that I don’t know if she even heard what I said.

The final stop before our destination was coming up. Raindrops began to thump on the windows outside. This incoming storm seemed to match whatever was going on in her head. My patience can’t take it anymore. I’m not one to rush a woman, but in this case, it feels like life or death.

“We can’t do this again…right, Michael?” she asks, unsure of herself too.

“We shouldn’t.”

“But if we did…”

“We can’t,” she’s bargaining for an answer—an escape from this madness she walked into.

“I figured.” Coco finally let go of my hands and sat back in her seat. “So, I go on to be a housewife, and you go to live your best life?”

“I think from what you did these past few days, you are in charge of your life choices, Coco.”

The train finally pulls into our stop as we gather our belongings. The rain has picked up now, pelting the windows with the intention of shattering them. Part of me thinks she will stay in that seat forever, but she was right behind me with her own things. A few passengers were exiting through the hall along with us, picking up larger bags on the way and causing a backup. We stayed silent as we made our way to the doors, acting like the strangers we started as.

The doors open with the frantic hustle of people not wanting to get too wet. Coco and I stood out looking in opposite directions. The universe had given us a once-in-a-lifetime moment, and this was the end of the experience. We turned and looked at one another, her lips trembling and my jaw clenching.

“Well, Miss Coco…” I say extending for a handshake for a proper goodbye.

“Michael…” She meets her hand with mine before taking a handful of my shirt collar, pulling me in, and passionately kissing me as if she wanted to take my very life force.

“Thank you…for letting me in.”

I don’t have any breath left in my body, and I’m ok with that. I take one last look at this angel that came into my life before forcefully pulling myself to go the other direction. It takes every fiber of my being not to look back at her because it would turn me into the savior I want to be for her. I’d take her away to her dream paradise that she told me about and commit the greatest heist in history by stealing the world for her happiness.

Getting to the end of the platform, awaiting my ride, I glance back at Coco standing in the rain. Her face is towards the sky, eyes closed as droplets run down her face. I can see a smile appear as she rubs the rain all over. I don’t know what she will do, stay on the route she is dreading or carelessly live the life she longs for. All I can do is hope she’s as happy as she is now.