My Wedding Day

I took a deep breathe and straightened my tie. I could feel myself sweating underneath my tuxedo. Why did she insist on an outdoor wedding in July? The last bridesmaid in the blue or was it purple? dress stepped into her place. The wedding march began and everyone in the audience stood. This was it. I watched as she waltzed toward me in that big white dress. She looked like like a cotton ball with arms. A little sparkling crown sat on top of her raven hair. I clasped her hand as we turned to face the preacher.

"Dearly beloved...."

"Stop the wedding!" shouted a woman's voice.

The audience gasped as we turned around and I saw a woman who looked exactly like Liza. Everything from her long raven hair and brown eyes to the beauty mark on the corner of her left eye. The only difference was this woman was wearing a blue button up blouse and jean shorts. What in the world?

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"I'm Liza!" said the woman in the blue top, she wagged a finger at my bride. "she's an imposter!"

"What are you doing here, Leeah?" demanded Liza.

"Don't play dumb. You're Leeah! I finally escaped that closet you locked me in." she fumed.

The audience all began whispering to each other.

"I did no such thing!" shouted my bride.

"What is going on here?" I demanded.

"My so called "sister" locked me in a closet on my wedding day, stole my wedding dress and she's trying to steal you from me, Daryll."

"I'm too old for this." sighed the preacher snapping his Bible shut. He sat down in one of the white folding chairs and yawned.

I looked between both of them. Sisters? That explained it. They were twins. Which one is the real Liza though?

"I can prove that I'm "Liza,'" said the one in the wedding dress. "I know Cool Ranch Doritos are your favorite snack and that 'The Notebook" is secretly your favorite movie."

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. Did she have to say that in front of everyone? She must be the real Liza. I sighed with relief.

"That's not hard to figure out," said the one in the blue top. "I know he hates pickles but if they're on his cheeseburger and he can't see them he'll eat them anyways."

"So.."

"I also know he keeps socks in the freezer because his feet get really sweaty and they keep him cool. He wears the same smelly pair for days. He only drinks out of straws and he has an original "Superman" comic book hidden in his..."

"O.K. That's enough. You're definitely..."

"I love you, Daryll." blurted a woman in the audience.

We all three turned to look and everyone in the audience began chattering at once.

"What?" gasped my mother.

"How many women are after this guy?" muttered a man in a suit. Who was he again?

"He's rich. They're all gold diggers." nodded an elderly lady in a big blue hat.

I looked at the woman who had declared her love for me. She was short with blonde hair and green eyes. She straightened her polka dot dress and smiled at me with crooked teeth. She blushed as I studied her.

I groaned. No, Not Haylee Mincie. How did she get here? I know she wasn't invited. She's had a crush on me since high school.

"He's mine!" Liza and Leeah shouted at the same time.

"That's enough!" shouted my mother. "Security! Security!"

"Daryll belongs to me." declared Haylee. She leapt over several chairs and made her way towards me.

"Get back." Liza and Leeah both stood in front of me. I'm still not sure which one is which.

"Our love is eternal. You can't stop it anymore than you can stop the sun from rising." declared Haylee.

"He'll never love you. Daryll is mine. No one else can have him." declared the one in the blue top.

Haylee pulled her hair. She retaliated by aiming for Haylee's face with her manicured nails. The one in the wedding dress pushed them both. What were they trying to accomplish? They began slapping each other. I think a kitten could have done more damage.

"Where is that security guard? He's fired after this. This is so scandalous." my mother whined. "why can't anyone do there job anymore? I paid a fortune to make sure this was a grand wedding. This is all your fault Daryll."

I rolled my eyes and ignored my mother's ranting. I was used to it.

The three women continued fighting (if you could call it that.) They bumped into the table and the white tiered cake came crashing to the ground.

Mother fainted on the grass with a thud. Nobody paid any attention to her. They were all using their phones to take a video of the women fighting.

My father laughed and headed for the open bar.

What do I do now? This certainly isn't what I was expecting. I looked over at the preacher. He was snoring in his chair, the sunlight reflecting off of his bald head. The women were still pulling hair, scratching and screaming. I was getting a headache. Then it hit me. The perfect solution.

I walked at a normal pace so I wouldn't draw attention. I headed for the parking lot and I waved at the security guard who pretended he wasn't playing "Pokemon Go." I saw him throw a Pokeball at a Squirtle on the screen before he slipped it back into his pocket and smiled at me. It doesn't matter. This works for me. I walked over to my bike and put my black helmet on my head. Nobody noticed when I revved the engine of my Harley. I pulled out my phone and opened up my text messages.

Daryll:

No worries. The wedding is ruined. You missed quite a show. I didn't even have to do anything. I'll see you in Florida. Your brother, Devin.