(Don't) Cross These Out – A Inspirational Short Story by Adam Ray

Here we go, the new year. New Year. It's not gonna be easy to change, but I've got to try. Okay. I'll write my ~~new year's~~ New Year's resolutions right here. Is this what people do? I guess it must be, and there's a lot I want to change.

~~Did I need to write all that? Should have just started writing the list. I'll leave it though,~~ but not this for some reason.

Drink less Smile more ~~Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for~~ Go to bed the same time every night. Like 11 or something healthy like that Get up at the same time every day – like 7 so that I can do a little work out. I do really wanna get in shape this year Go to that rock climbing wall that keeps getting advertised to me on Instagram after all Simon's rainbow art Be on Instagram less Trade coffee for water ~~even if water is boring and coffee does nothing to me~~ Sign up for a gym. Do people still go to the gym? I should find one. Or would the rock wall be enough? I feel like a full body workout has to put some kind of meat on my stick frame, right? ~~FOCUS~~ Focus Find something I like doing like Simon likes painting. What's that like? Making things? I suppose I take good pictures and I love my camera like a baby. Maybe I shouldn't quit on Instagram. Maybe I can set up a new account that's just my artsy pictures. Adam's eyes FOCUS Don't cross out that idea though. Don't cross out ideas. They don't really come from us, they just pop into our heads and they can really change everything if you let it Adopt a cat! Actually, maybe not a cat. They need litter boxes and weird food. Something easier? A fish? A cactus? One of those fly trapper plants that eat bugs with their leaf mouths? Those would be great in the summer Research where to buy bug eating plants (do that in the summer probably) Research a good kind of pet for whatever's up with my brain. Does Simon have any pets? Stop stalking Simon on Instagram. Even if he keeps putting up art of his paintings and his workouts and his dumb perfect teeth Research ADHD symptoms Research if I should go to therapy for ADHD Research if I should go to therapy for being a 28 year old man who's still scared of the dark Research origin of the phrase therapy cos if you break it up it becomes a very weird play on words and I don't like that Research flow techniques or how one can actually focus on writing a manageable list of ~~new~~ New Years Resolutions Budget things a little better. Like, I see those tracker app things or get a spreadsheet set up with formulas and things Research how to do formulas on excel Research better rent prices for flats in my area Do not research better rent prices for flat in mum and dad's area Talk to mum and dad more. I know they say they support everything I do but come on you guys, there is such a thing as being too supportive. Like, how much money did I blow on that photography class and yet I work in a sticky bar New job now. I mean, I know I'm good at it, but I really cannot stick around with that job any more. I work with idiots who I hate bringing drinks to idiots who don't understand the bar's theme Yeah, new job for this year – something I care about in an office, on a daylight schedule. Maybe there's a water cooler to chat random gossip. Maybe there's someone tall in a tight suit in my department who always helps me while I'm starting out Set manageable goals for the future, cos damn this is a huge list. I'm not gonna do all of this. ~~Plus some of it's nonsense~~ ~~I shouldn't have crossed that out~~ ~~Or that~~ Least of all this! Learn that it's okay to make mistakes sometimes. Maybe they'll forgive you if the drinks go out a little late or you spell names wrong or don't put the right kind of letters on words. Just keep going with it I should focus more. If only it were that easy. Like, when I went to Rome and saw the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Well the Vatican. I saw that ceiling, and all those details on all those men. ~~Michaelangelo~~ Michelangelo painted that for like, three years, four years? Scaffolds and things to keep him up there. Did he ever get bored and wanna stop? Did he get distracted? I suppose he wasn't 'cause he was getting paid for it but still if I could be paid to focus on something I like then I'd be off to the races. Just like Mikey. ~~Bit of a stretch to compare my photos of strangers and the skyline to Michelangelo.~~ Whatever! FOCUS!! Right, where was I? Listen to music that ISN'T on my Spotify On Repeat. Like. Dad has sold so many of his old records but he still has so many. Listening to things like that and having to take whole days to search the city to find that one song you really really love. Maybe I should do that. Not to find new music, I don't even have a record player. But to go out and find stuff. I can listen to new music while I do! Take long random walks around the city. That's a good workout too. Where would I go? Research places to discover in the city Research places to eat in the city Research places to work out in the city Research where Simon paints, 'cause that's definitely not his house. Must be like a studio or something. I might bump into him if I find the place. We could go for coffee. I could tell him why he's really on my mind Research ways to come out to your best friend Research where to buy home made rainbow art Be happy this new year.

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