Puppychow

Ruth Morgan pushed the used brown paper grocery sack in the trash, forcing it down to make as much room as possible. She would need it. She hummed a few bars along with the Trans Siberian Orchestra that floated through the house. Light shown in through the large bay window opposite the kitchen, next to the sparkling tree that glistened and twinkled with joy.

At low volume, the TV played a documentary about Christmas tree farms, while Jack napped in the barcalounger, Jasmine curled up on his chest. He had gotten up early to snow blow the driveway and the sidewalk before the family got here, but it resumed snowing not one hour after he sat down. She decided to let him sleep. He could use the rest, the treatments always took a lot out of him.

This was her favorite time of year. The lights, the festivities, the music, the joy. Ruth felt the magic of Christmas each and every year. It grew each Sunday of Advent, and she considered it her duty to provide the most Christmasy home. Decorations covered everything, sparing no expense. She planned down to the last detail the Christmas eve feast, which would kick off the best three days of her year. She planned something special every year. She was making something that she hadn’t made since the kids were in middle school.

“Homemade is always the best! It is going to just make everyone’s night!” she said to no one in particular. Jasmine flicked her tail, and Jack stirred a little, but said nothing. “It will be the best surprise!”

Ruth went back to preparing the meal. They would be here soon, and she would be ready!

***

“Grandma!”

In rushed her two eldest grandsons, Matthew and Mark. They were twins, and large for their age. Nearly ten, the boys burst into the kitchen, arms wide and smiles from ear to ear. The atmosphere immediately went from relaxed effervescent joy to a frenzied storm of excitement.

“My boys! How have I missed you! Here, before your mom and dad see.” Ruth snuck a Christmas cookie into each of their hands, which vanished faster than any magician could make them.

Ruth could hear Jack conversing with their middle child, Jordan, and his wife Jacy. All three of them appeared in the kitchen next, snow still gracing their shoulders. “Mom.”

Ruth hugged him, and then Jacy. The smiles were there, but behind their eyes was a deep exhaustion, peeking out behind their eyelids. “How are you doing? How is work? How are my grandsons?”

Jacy took off her scarf, “They are trying to bankrupt us through the fridge, Ruth.”

Ruth chuckled. The boys had already run out to the backyard, and were throwing snowballs at each other. “We have plenty of food here.”

“I know, Mom. It is good to be here. The boys are so excited to see you and Dad, and their cousins. I’m sorry it has been so long since we got together.” Jordan turned and carried his luggage back to the bedrooms, “Are we in my old room? Boys downstairs?”

Ruth nodded.

“Need help with anything Ruth?” Jacy asked, as she poured herself a glass of wine.

“No, thank you. Why don’t you rest and let me take care of you?” Ruth hadn’t expected her to serve herself.

“That would be a first.”

June, Jack and Ruth’s youngest, stood in the entrance of the living room. Her eternally frazzled hair clutched at the snow that fell on it. Her two children, Valimont and Claire, stood at her side. He was eight and she was seven, and Ruth could still count on her fingers and toes the number of times she had seen them. The door behind June closed and Oscar, her husband came up behind her.

“Ruth, Jack, its glad to be here. I’m so glad we could make it for Christmas this year,” Oscar smiled, “kids, go hug your grandparents and then go outside and play with your cousins.”

The children dutifully approached Ruth, and she slipped a wrapped piece of fudge into their pockets, patting it so the children would know. They squeezed Jack as they moved to the patio door, and the winter wonderland outside.

“June, you don’t have to be rude,” Ruth tried and failed to remove the scold from her voice, “I take care of everyone in my family.”

“Mom, I wasn’t...I meant that getting rest around...nevermind. You have eggnog?”

Ruth pointed to the bowl, the liquid spiced with small chucks of candy canes. June filled a glass, drank it down, and refilled it. “Roads are getting bad out there. You sure Jack Jr. is coming?”

The oven beeped, and Ruth knelt down to inspect the dish. It bubbled and steamed, filling the air with notes of brown sugar and carrot. “Of course he is coming.”

“Can’t have Christmas without the favorite, now can we?” June hiccuped, and then set down the half empty cup, “we downstairs Mom?”

Ruth set the now finished dish on some hot pads on the counter. “No, you are both in the guest room. Kids in the basement.”

June and Oscar headed towards the bedroom, passing Jordan. They nodded at each other, and Ruth could hear June say, “I wish they would take that picture down. Its creepy and depressing.” Ruth steeled herself. She would not cry on Christmas.

***

It started to get dark, the adults in the living room, watching Christmas Vacation, and the kids causing a ruckus in the basement. Ruth was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the last few things for dinner. She set both tables, assuming that Jack Jr. would bring someone. She set six at the kids table, and then took one away. One too many. She couldn’t stop a tear welling up, but she wiped it away before her makeup smeared.

She just finished the setting the table when a chill draft blew in. Ruth looked up, Jack Jr. was in the doorway. “We’re here.”

Ruth put down her towel, and hustled over to her eldest son. She wrapped her arms around him, the snow on his coat melting and wetting Ruth’s Christmas sweater. “I’m so glad you are here.”

Behind him, his wife/ex-wife Lisa removed her scarf, and her eldest granddaughter, Lorelai, shuffled in. Ruth wrapped her arms around Lorelai, kissing her on the cheek, “Grandma, I missed you.” Ruth remembered Lorelai making frosted cookies one Christmas in Ruth’s kitchen. Just as much frosting ended up in her mouth and on the table as made it on the cookie.

“Lisa, good to see you.” Jack called from the couch, now buried by Jasmine and Claire, who became best friends in the hours since they arrived. “How was the drive?”

“We made it. That's about all that I can say about it.” Lisa shivered the last of the snow onto the welcome mat, and took Junior’s coat off before taking hers off. Junior always made it home for Christmas, but over the last few years, sometimes he had Lisa with him, sometimes another woman, sometimes alone.

“Its good to have you guys,” Ruth patted her shoulder, “you guys are in your old room Junior. Lorelai, there is a spare bed downstairs for you, but you will have to share the basement with your cousins. You guys got here in the nick of time. Dinner is about to be served.”

***

Ruth sat next to Jack, at one head of the table. Her children and their spouses alternated on both sides, and the kids were at their table, their incessant squabbling and laughter providing the foundation for this Christmas Eve feast. Ruth put out her Christmas china, along with gold trimmed service. Candle holding elves lined the bureau behind her, and a fire roasted in the hearth that Jack started. To Ruth, it was the perfect start.

“Say Jordan, how about those Hawks?” Junior couldn’t help himself, He and Jordan had a long simmering football rivalry.

“We did a lot better against better competition than you did,” his brother snapped back.

Junior crackled a smile. “We still beat you this year. And everyone knows that the Legends Conference is a joke.”

“Boys, boys, its Christmas,” pleaded Jack, “We can discuss football in the den later. Oscar, how is your business.”

Oscar shoved a piece of lamb into his mouth. “Oh, its going well. The clinic is so needed this time of year. Lots of people in need. June has come up with a new bookkeeping system that saves us a bunch of time.”

Oscar’s free clinic in San Diego was his dream, not June. Its good to support your husband, but what about your dream, my daughter? “That's wonderful. Are you guys getting out at all? Exploring restaurants?”

June scowled. “Mom, I told you, we don’t have time for me to be a food critic. My kids still need me, and the clinic wouldn’t survive without me.”

She married the doctor, but didn’t get to enjoy the wealth that normally comes with that. “I know sweetie, but I worry about you. You don’t want to get lost in there.”

June’s scowl turned blacker. Instead of firing back right away, she speared a green bean on her fork, and ate it, only speaking after swallowing. “I’m not lost. Lisa, I wasn’t expecting you this year.”

Lisa took a sip of wine. “Why not? Am I not a part of this family?”

June’s scowl turned upside down. “Oh, you are. You are the sister I never had. But after, Junior what was her name, Kate...Carmen...no, it was Abigail, I wasn’t expecting to see you back ever again.”

Junior stepped in, “June, Lisa and I are trying to work things out. Not all of us have it easy.”

Please drop it June.

“Easy, brother?” June took a bite of the lamb as well, “I don’t have a nice home like you do, or drive a BMW. I wouldn’t call my life easy.”

Ruth felt the tension start to ramp up. She raised her voice loud enough so the kids could hear her. “You might have missed the weather report this afternoon, but NORAD’s thinking that even Santa might have trouble reaching every house this year.”

The kids squabbling didn’t miss a beat. “Mom, the kids really don’t believe in Santa anymore,” Jordan took a spoonful of orange yams, “I hope that we won’t lose the internet in the storm. I have some work I need to do.”

“Jor, its Christmas, it can wait til after the holiday,” Junior looked at him, “why did you even bring your laptop?”

“Because brother, some of us need to work to keep the family provided for.”

“You don’t think I work? I work all hours, often through weekends. I don’t have a 9-5, but that doesn’t mean I am a failure as a father.”

You are a wonderful father. You too Jordan. “I wasn’t saying that Junior. But not all of us can be bestsellers. Some of us have to work to put food on the table.”

Jack ate a bit of stuffing. “You need some help son? Your mother and I would be glad to help. Even take the boys for a bit.”

Ruth’s heart leaped up. She loved spending time with her grandsons, more than anything besides seeing her granddaughters, but the boys were rambunctious. Jack just promised a huge imposition.

Jacy sipped her hot chocolate and put it down. “Jack, that's wonderful to offer, but we are going to be okay. I’m sure that we may take you up for a weekend in the future. The boys would love it.”

June set down her fork. “Going to be okay? That means you aren’t. What’s going on guys?”

Junior jumped in. “Is this about that project you told me about Jordan? You didn’t do it, did you?”

Jordan gulped down a portion of his beer. The lines on his face hardened. “And what if I did? Sure I lost my retirement, Jacy’s savings, and the kid’s college on it. We still have a few months before we will lose the house,” the adult’s table froze, and even the kids table lessened in volume, “What, what do you have to say now, brother? Are you going to say see I told you so? Tell me I need to make better decisions? Well, I know that. I don’t need to hear it from you.”

Junior sat back in his chair, “It sounds like I don’t need to say it this time.”

Jordan stared daggers at Junior.

Christmas Canon by TSO came on, one of Ruth’s favorite pieces. “Jordan, we all love you, and if you need anything, we are here for you,” Ruth forced a smile, “now, try some of these roasted brussel sprouts. They are just divine, and made the world seem a little less mean.”

“Mom, he doesn’t need to stuff his face,” June looked smug, “or maybe he does. He might not be able to eat again for sometime.”

Jordan glared at her, “What are you so happy about?”

June took a victory sip of eggnog, “Because right now I’m not the black sheep.”

“I’m pregnant.” Jacy’s announcement caused Oscar to drop his fork onto his plate. June burst out laughing, Lisa turned to hug her, while Jack looked completely floored.

“My dear, that is such great news,” Ruth stammered, “Oh what fun. I mean joy. I guess I will need to compliment this wonderful tidings with my surprise for this dinner. You’ll never guess…”

“You’re pregnant? How is this possible?” Jordan looked slack jawed.

Junior chuckled, “Well, I hate to be the one to tell you Jor how the birds and bees works, considering that you are a father,”

“Shut up asshole.”

“Language boys! Young ears pick up everything.”

“Its okay Grandma,” Lorelai stated without looking up from her phone, “Its nothing we haven’t heard before.”

“Speak for yourself Lori,” June pointed her fork at her, “my kids are not exposed to that filth in their education.”

Ruth felt pride that for once her daughter was on her side. “Quite right. Now back to what I was saying. This is such a joyous occasion, I think I should introduce my surprise…”

“That's enough surprises for one night Mom,” Jordan wrapped his arm about Jacy, “What are we going to do?”

Junior took a big swig of cider. “I’ll tell you what Jor. I will help. Get the kids college funds back, help you not lose your home. Its the least I can do. Can’t have you lose anything else.”

Ruth hated thinking bad about her children, but she couldn’t help but see a bit of gloating in Junior’s gracious offer. Jordan’s face showed he didn’t miss it either. Ruth then saw something vile bubble up in Jordan, clearly at his wit’s end, and she braced for it. Don’t say it Jor.

“Thanks Junior, but I think I’ll handle it. I at least haven’t lost one of my children.”

Ruth could hear the lights twinkle on the Christmas tree. He crossed it. She didn’t think anyone took a breath, such a grievous wound having been ripped right open. Lisa went from an observer to family squabbling to ashen, face drained of blood, and years of sleepless nights piled onto her face. Junior slumped back in his chair, all fight drained out of him.

Jack III was twelve when he went out to play with some friends one winter morning. He did not return. It had become a nationwide manhunt, the press providing a root canal into their lives as Junior’s latest book about a child kidnapping had come out not three weeks before. Lorelai was seven, and she stayed with Ruth and Jack while this family horror show played out.

Jack III was found four weeks later, in a ditch outside Chicago. Ruth couldn’t bring herself to read the reports in the newspaper, and Jack kept them away from her. Said it wasn’t something she needed to see. The boy’s funeral was closed casket. They caught the bastard four months later, tried and convicted him. Ruth heard he died in prison. Apparently monsters don’t appreciate living with someone who does those things to little boys.

“Jack, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” Jordan’s apology didn’t sound forced. He grimaced hard.

“Damn, Jor, I didn’t know you had it in you. I think you are the black sheep permanently now,” June took a bite of stuffing. “Junior. I wish he was here too. We all do.”

“Thanks June. I know that. Some days I forget he isn’t here.”

Lisa started sobbing, and Jacy held her.

“Jor, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be an ass. If you need help, I’m here for you. I know you didn’t mean it.” Everyone let out a breath.

Ruth got up and went to the kitchen to get her tin. She returned, and started placing small handfuls of her homemade puppychow on everyone’s napkins. “This is my surprise. I haven’t made it since you kids were little. Its homemade. Crispex, peanut butter, chocolate all mixed together in a paper grocery bag. You remember. I made it so we all could remember what being a family was, remember Christmases when we didn’t have such pain, such disappointments. I know you all remember. For those who weren’t there, well you are in for a treat.”

One by one they all picked up a piece, and put it into their mouths. The tears melted away, the frowns disappeared. The vitriol and anger that polluted her home vanished, and the joy returned. Ruth knew she made a good choice for the surprise this year.

It was perfect.