J̶o̶s̶e̶p̶h̶ J͟e͟f͟f͟e͟r͟y͟ and Lana

Here we go.

Lana gazed into the eyes of Joseph as she proudly spoke the words, "I do."

Lana was a beautiful young lady, the kind that the entire town waited in suspense to see who she married. Joseph was the one, the lucky boy who had gotten it all. Lana's father was a wealthy businessman who practically ran the town alongside the governor due to his grasp on the economy, which made Lana seem all the more desirable.

Joseph wasn't much of a figure in the town, but the two happened to meet over drinks and their drunk demeanors pleased each other. They got up to all sorts of trouble in the private rooms that sat above the pub, enough so that Lana's father made sure this wedding happened in case of pregnancy.

Despite being out of the environment which sparked such erotic behaviors, the two could not help but seek to relive that night again and again. Each night, they got closer; Sooner or later, they would either achieve it or have a child to take care of.

Joseph blinked, entranced with the beauty of Lana. He spoke.

"What is this?"

Joseph, for the first time in his life, was feeling true love.

"What?"

Lana said, "Dear, why don't we get some cake and alcohol? It's going to be a long night, might as well make the most of it, right?"

"Huh? Oh, tha- Yeah. yeah, let's."

The two went to grab food.

"Lana, do you... feel off?"

"No," She replied. Joseph was asking odd questions at a time that was supposed to be a celebration.

"It's just... I feel like-"

"Honey, I said no. Drop it," Lana snap- soothingly mused.

"Okay, I-I'm sorry,"

"Good. Now let's dance, hm?" Lana enticed.

What a beautiful couple they were. Flawless, perfect Lana and the lovable bumbling oaf Joseph.

"What did-"

Joseph tripped on a rock. A big one. He fell on his face.

Gasps arose from the crowd as swaths of people poured toward the incident to see what had happened.

Joseph stood suddenly, clearly embarrassed. Oh, and quite shocked, too.

"Hey! What the hell was that?"

Joseph asked a stupid question after very obviously tripping over a rock, but hopefully this night can return to normal after such a spectacle.

"What the fuck did you jus-"

Wait, no. It's in a church... A glass. He tripped over a dropped glass, not a rock. Silly me. Consistency.

"Hey! Who are you?"

Lana was the most perfect girl in the world. Only a marriage matching her perfection could be worthy of the Bodor family name.

Lana Bodor was so majestic that the entire world swooned back and forth when she bent down to pick somethin-

I'm getting ahead of myself. She was perfect, and Joseph is. Very. Lucky. To have her. It'd be in his best interest to not ruin the wedding horrifically.

"I can hear you, y'know! Who the fuck are you and what's going on here?"

Joseph drank quite a lot of alcohol prior to this, and some guests were beginning to suspect it might've been laced with something worse.

"No, I haven't! We didn't even make it to the drinks yet!"

Uh, Joseph and Lana quickly downed several shots to keep the night young. Youthful, like the clear and smooth skin of the beauty which Joseph had found himself with.

Joseph vomited violently, in front of everyone no less.

"Oi! Shut the fuck up! How did you do that? And what the hell is in this... stuff..."

Joseph collapsed on the floor, clearly blackout drunk.

He had way too much to drink, the gluttonous bastard. Lana lifted him and brought him to the bathroom to clean him up.

What a kind, perfect woman she was. At this point she should be doubting whether Joseph is truly right for her.

Joseph and Lana walked out of the bathroom, seemingly fully ready to get back to a normal wedding.

"YOU! Whoever you are! What are you, and how ar-"

"Hello, sir!" cried an old man cheerfully. "I am Dave. I hear you're the lucky man who gets to marry Lana?"

"Why yes," Jeffery replied. "I am!"

Lana gazed into the eyes of Jeffery as she proudly spoke the words, "I do."

Lana was a beautiful young lady, the kind that the entire town waited in suspense to see who she married. Joseph was the one, the lucky boy who had gotten it all. Lana's father was a wealthy businessman who practically ran the town alongside the governor due to his grasp on the economy, which made Lana seem all the more desirable.

Jeffery wasn't much of a figure in the town, but the two happened to meet over drinks and their drunk demeanors pleased each other. They got up to all sorts of trouble in the private rooms that sat above the pub, enough so that Lana's father made sure this wedding happened in case of pregnancy.

Despite being out of the environment which sparked such erotic behaviors, the two could not help but seek to relive that night again and again. Each night, they got closer; Sooner or later, they would either achieve it or have a child to take care of.

Jeffery blinked, entranced with the beauty of Lana. He spoke.

"You are perfect," he uttered.

"I know I am," Lana responded.

A wonderful wedding that night, truly wonderful, yes. A newly wed couple, happily ready to spend the rest of their lives loving each other, got into a car to drive home. Since Jeffery had not had anything to drink, he opted to drive rather than the half-drunk Lana. This showed how much of a smart young man he was, a perfect match for Lana.

The drive home took the couple alongside a river.

This river was home to a variety of fish, and the primary source of drinking water for the town. This placed it high on the list of priorities, of course. So, with everyone in the town loving it, it was a beautiful and undisturbed line slicing through the fragile shell of the Earth. This night, it was different. Not by much, but there was something in the river that wasn't there before.

A body drifted, facedown, flowing along with the current of the river. Lana disassociated for a moment, believing she recognized the body and the hair and the clothes and-

This river was meaningless beyond a landmark. There was no life, nor remnants of any, and it was an ugly thing. A gross self-insert of mother nature designed to further complicate the creation of human civilization. People dumped their trash into it.

Jeffery drove them home, and they lived happily ever after. Lana forgot about anything she had seen that is of course not real and only a misunderstanding of something.

And so is the story of J̶o̶s̶e̶p̶h̶ JEFFERY and Lana, the happiest, most perfect couple in the world.

That wasn't so hard, now was it?