a reviewers worst nightmare

Another review, another batch of lost subscribers as our character walks into his bosses office he wonders if he is gonna be fired for consistently losing subscribers when he puts out a restaurant review. I mean it must be that right? I mean there's no way that newspaper reviews are a dying medium… right??? As he opens the door he can already tell that he's angry. But when he talks its the most polite he's ever seen his boss and overall kinda cheery, it creeps him out a bit. “Please take a seat” “how are you today”, “how's the dog doing?”. “Kyf why did you call me in here?” he asks his boss who yes, his name is kyf. “Do you see what I'm doing?” he asks our character. Hes confused a bit, “what do you mean?”. “I'm being nice and positive, doesn't it make you feel happy and want to be around me more?”, “... not really kyf, its kinda freaking me out actually”. They both pause for a moment, “well it would make a normal person happy…”, “that's your problem you're too negative”. As kyf says this his voice is slowly starting to rise again to his regular yelling tone. “In today's age people are sick of reading negative food reviews, they want positivity”, “kyf i don't know if i can do that, its kind of against my nature”. “listen , your a great writer i can see that, its the only reason your not packing up your stuff right now, but a truly great writer can adapt and change there technique if need be”. “So what i'm saying is… change your writing… OR YOUR FIRED” our character knew he had no choice so he left without saying much more. The problem was he truly didn't know how he would change up his writing to be more positive, i mean it's not like he had much to work with. Every restaurant he reviewed really did have bad food. Maybe it was a mindset issue. 

The problem with my writing is that i think I'm too in my head about it, before i even write i'm always thinking about things like what is the point of this? Is this new and unique? I want to move the needle with everything i write and try and do something amazing. I think that is my main problem, so for this story i just wanted to sit down and write and kinda just spit out words onto (digital) paper and see what comes of it, and try not to worry about making some sort of point of society or human nature and instead just try and tell a story instead 

So our character needed a change, he decided he would try and take a step inside the mind of a chef and try to cook a meal. But he needed to raise the “steaks” so he invited all his friends over (who are food critics) and put his reputation on the line. I don't think much explanation other then his food being terrible is needed, he cooked a meal meal for his peers which made half of them leave early and not finish it and the other half complain i wish i could say that through this experience he gained a newfound respect for chefs which then led him to be more positive in his reviews… but it's not always that simple 

Part of me thinks it's hard to write because like, what if i suck? What if i'm just a terrible writer and it's not worth even spending my time doing this. Part of me thinks it's kinda selfish to even expect others to read my writing.

Our character tried for days to think of a more positive review, but he couldn't fake it, it wasn't who he was and as much as he tried to write positively about food he just couldn't write a good review.he decided he couldn't do it, and besides why should he change just for some customers that don't know any better? He's the professional he knows, what's right. So he went to it. He went to a restaurant that he heard isn't so good that he was saving for a special time, and wrote one of the meanest and negative reviews he's ever written. If his writing is good enough it should speak for itself and he shouldn't need to change.

The more rational part of myself says that stupid. That I shouldn't worry about what people think or worry about even being a great writer. I'm not 100% sure what that even means yet and I'm at a struggle with myself between wanting to write about my ideas and get my brain onto the paper but at the same time not wanting to write for some stupid reason. 

It took about a week to get fired from his job. I mean I guess it shouldn't be that surprising, his boss told him that would happen… So what now? He had a little money saved up that he didn't have to immediately worry about paying to live. But he would eventually. He had either two options. To follow his dream of writing and reviewing food and to not give up or compromise his values. Or try and just get a normal career and safety and financial security. It's a tough choice to make. And i'm not sure what our character should do. It's something I think about a lot with my writing. Who am I fooling by thinking I'm actually a good writer or have anything new or unique to bring to the table. And maybe I'm just kidding myself by thinking I can make something out of this. I've always loved to create and make stuff. But maybe that's all it is, i love it but its not a career something i can rely on financially. I'm not sure of the answers yet and i don't know if ill ever get a clear one. I'm still young and have a lot to learn. Maybe one day and look back and see where I messed up or made the wrong or right life decision. Either way, for now I'm just going to continue to write even if I'm a total fraud with nothing to add.