Nothing Has to Last Forever

TW: Death

“Mommy, why are we here today?”

“Sweetie, I already told you,”

“Did you?”

“Yes, you little silly pickle!”

“Ha, silly little pickle! Oh yeah, I remember- this is the bridge with all the locks on it, Mommy. But why are we here? I know where we are, but why are we here and not in the big white building?”

“Aw, Katherine, we’re here because we’re going to put a special lock on the bridge, sweetie,”

“Oh, right. Sorry Mommy. I’ve been forgetting things recently. But I still remember your name! Also, I just love the color that you chose for the lock, Mommy! It’s pink and blue just like my own room in the white building!”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I was going for. And you’re fine, sweetie. Don’t worry about forgetting things- in fact, I forgot my phone at the white building just a few days ago,”

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that,”

“Oh, Kathy, be careful about touching the bridge. It snowed just a few days ago and the bridge is still pretty cold. But that’s why we have your big jacket!”

“And my nose thingy,”

“Yes. And your nose thingy. But that’s not what the fashion modelers look for- they look for your eyes, sweetie,”

“Right! And my eyes have the prettiest blue you’ve ever seen!”

“Yes. The most beautiful blue eyes,”

“Mommy! I thought I told you not to get sad about me! Besides, the mysterious doctor who runs all the tests said that I had five months until I would go up to all the angels in the world. So don’t worry, Mommy- or get sad- because I am going to have so much fun up there! Do you think I’ll get to braid the angels’ hair?”

“I think you’ll be able to do whatever you want to do, sweetie. And I’m sorry for not listening. You did tell me to not get sad, so I’ll listen, baby. And…”

“Mommy, your eyes are peeing again!”

“Sorry, Kathy. It’s just hard to not get sad when I’m with you, sweetie.”

“It’s okay. Liz, the girl next to me in the white building, her Mommy and Daddy get sad whenever they visit her. I told her that my mommy and daddy are always brave when they visit. But that Mommy visits more than Daddy because Daddy sometimes makes Mommy cry.”

“Oh, Katherine, sweetie, Daddy doesn’t make Mommy cry,”

“Yes he does! I know that I make your eyes pee but doesn’t Daddy? Whenever you two are together, he whispers something in your ear and then your eyes start to pee,”

“I guess you’re right. But Daddy doesn’t matter right now-”

“I thought you said that everybody matters, no matter what?”

Ah, sorry, Kathy. That wasn’t the right word for it. Daddy’s not here, so it’s just Mommy and Kathy today, okay?”

“O-okay, Mommy,”

“Alright. Now, can you pick out a perfect place to put the pretty lock?”

“Yes ma’am! Oh… Wait, Mommy, why is that lady over there with the brown hair trying to undo the lock? Is that what we’re doing?”

“Oh. No, sweetie, that’s not what we’re doing. Maybe somebody she loved who she made that lock with wasn’t being nice to her.”

“But-but isn’t true love supposed to last forever? Besides, in The Little Mermaid, Ariel and Prince Eric are meant to be so they fall in love. They don’t get unhappy because true love is meant to last forever, right?”

“I know about Ariel and her prince. Okay- true love is supposed to last forever, but sometimes people hurt other people’s feelings. And then they get upset.”

“Do I hurt people’s feelings, Mommy?”

“No, Kathy, you would never ever hurt people’s feelings. But your worm growing in your brain does hurt people’s feelings. But you don’t hurt people’s feelings.”

“Okay, Mommy. Should we go help that lady? Her eyes look like she’s crying, Mommy. You always said that we should help people who are sad and in need.”

“I do say that, Kathy, but I think this situation needs alone time. You know how when you’re tired after a long day at the white building and you need some time to rest? And you want to be alone to rest? Maybe that’s how that lady feels. Okay?”

“OK, Mommy. I don’t want you to be mad at me,”

“I’m not mad at you, I… I promised I wouldn’t get sad. But being around you makes me sad.”

“I make you sad? I thought I made you happy?”

“No, Kathy, you make me really happy. Really, really happy. It’s just… I’m really gonna miss you in five months when you go to the angels, that’s all. Ugh, sorry, my eyes are peeing.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for your eyes peeing. Even my eyes pee once in a while.”

“I know, Kathy. Okay, let’s find a place now.”

“But Mommy, look, the lady just got the lock and now her eyes are peeing.”

“Kathy! No spying, sweetie!”

“I’m sorry. I just want to make her feel better.”

“I know. Brr, it’s cold! Here, do you want me to zip up your jacket for you love?”

“Y-yes p-please! I’m shivering, Mommy!”

“I know! Ha, let’s zip up your jacket and put on your hat.”

“Why do I need a hat if I don’t have anymore hair?”

“Because your head is gonna get cold, love.”

“Oh right! That’s what Auntie Sarah said when she knitted it for me in my pink and blue room.”

“Exactly. Now-”

“Mommy, the lady is throwing the lock in the water. Why? I thought you were supposed to throw the key into the water, and not the lock…”

“Well, that’s what you’re supposed to do, I guess. But like I said, maybe somebody really hurt her feelings. Anyway, let’s find a real spot now.”

“Mommy, look, I’m holding onto my hat like you told me to do when it’s windy!”

“Good job, Kathy.”

“I know. Ooh, here’s a really good spot! It has a couple hearts around it!”

“Good looking, sweetie. This is the perfect spot for our lock.”

“And I found it all by myself, Mommy!”

“You did! I’m so proud of you. Aw, c’mere, Kathy! Give Mommy a hug!”

“Aw, I love you, Mommy.”

“I love you too, Katherine.”

“OK, can we get the key and the lock now?”

“Yes, we can. Okay, hand me the lock.”

“You’re holding the key, right, Mommy?”

“I sure am. Oh! The lock is cold in my hands! Whoa, look, Kathy, the bridge still has some ice on it from a few days ago,”

“That is so cool! Should I lick it?”

“Uh, maybe not, sweet. It might make your tummy feel funny.”

“But my tummy already feels funny all the time. Mommy- when I’m up with the angels, will my tummy still feel funny? Ha, I’m rhyming like in Mother Goose!”

“Oh, Kathy… It’ll be perfect up there. But you want to stay down here with Mommy, right?”

“Of course I do. I just know that I can’t be down here because the worm is eating my brain out, like in a zombie movie. Besides, that’s what Doctor Mathias said, and she’s fancy!”

“Aw. Alright, do you want to open the lock?”

“I’ll try, Mommy!”

“OK, here you are…”

“Ugh, I can’t get it. Maybe I need to take my gloves off…”

“That would do it, Kathy. You could get a better grip,”

“Yay! It worked! Okay, can we put it on the bridge together? I want to do that, Mommy.”

“Alright, my little silly pickle,”

“Ha! Silly pickle!”

“Aw. OK- ready?”

“Let’s do this!”

“OK… click…. that should do it!”

"Mommy, can I lock it? You only put it on the cold bridge,"

"Of course you can, Kathy."

"Whoa! I'm only FIVE years old and I just did that!"

"You did just do that! I'm so proud, sweet,"

"Yeah! OK... are we going to throw away the key?"

"Yep. It's time now,"

"Ha! I just thought... like when you tell me to be quiet: zip your mouth and throw away the key!"

"I do tell you to do that, don't I? But you're sneaky sometimes and find the key, you silly little pickle!"

"Aw, Mommy! I do find the key!"

"Oh yeah. Alright, let's get the key now and throw it away- forever,"

"Oh, the key is still cold on my fingers,"

"Oops, be careful, Kathy,"

"I will! Can I count down, Mommy?"

"Of course you can, sweetie,"

"Okay... from three?"

"Sure,"

"OK- This is Katherine Blair, reporting from the lock bridge. It's very cold, and this key is also very cold. I am gonna count down from three and then we're gonna throw the key into the freezing cold water! OK- Mommy, are you ready?"

"I'm ready, my little super star!"

"Okay- three, two, one!"

"Whoa! You did so well, Kathy! Look- the bridge is so high, the key is still falling."

"That is so high, Mommy!"

"Yeah. Oh look, it plopped down right there; do you see it?"

"Oh yeah! Hey, Mommy?"

"Yeah, love?"

"When I go up to the angels, will you be there with me?"

"Oh, Kathy. I-I'll always be with you in your heart- right there- but I might not be with you then. But eventually I will. You just have to be patient, okay Katherine? Can you be patient for me?"

"I will, Mommy. Mommy- your eyes are peeing again! This must be a record for the most pee an eyeball has made!"

"I know, sweetie. I'm sorry. I'm just really gonna miss you."

"I know you will. Everybody will miss me. But you have to be brave, Mommy."

"I will."

"You promise, Mommy?"

"I do promise, Kathy."

"Okay. I'll get a good word in with Jesus, just like Daddy said to do."

"Ha! Did he really say that? Silly Daddy,"

"Ha, yeah!"

"Well, I'll love you no matter what, Kathy. No matter if you're here with me or up with the angels. I love you, okay?"

"Okay Mommy. I'll love you too, even if your eyes pee everyday."

"Okay, Kathy."

"Now, how about some burgers, Kathy?"

"Yum! Burgers, here I come!"