Woulda' Just Give Me An A, Mrs. Vanaala?

Trigger Warning: Contains intense chaos, implied violence, destruction, and strong language.

I shuffle my papers, taking a deep breath. My slicked-back ponytail swishes as I stand up. All eyes are on me. Just how I like it.

“Aaray, you can start whenever you’re ready,” Mrs. Vanaala says, offering me a polite smile.

“Get it over with already!” A nasally voice shouts from the back of the room. Johny.

“Fuck you,” I mutter, and several of my classmates holler. Luckily, Mrs. Vanaala didn’t hear, instead looking at her podputer with glassy eyes. I glance back as a 3D image fills a portion of the room.

Smiling, I smooth the first page of my script. Someone mutters 'old age', and I ignore them. I can hear Johny making snide comments. He already went. His presentation had included sparklers and over-the-top confessions of love. Since I have restraint, I can admit that it was slightly impressive. Mrs. Vanaala certainly seemed to think so. But this time, I would win. Stupid Johny could shove it up his—

“Aaray? Are you going to start?” The class erupts with snickers as I blanch. My papers grow damp under my sweaty palms. I fight to gain back control. All eyes are on me.

“Yes. Of course,” I say in a clipped tone. I shake my head a little, smiling as my hair tie jingles softly into my ear. The 3D image spins behind me, showing off a human heart. It squirts blood, the little graphics fading as they hit the floor. “Valentine's Day is categorized as the #3456 most important holiday since 2026, which was centuries ago. The textbook definition is: Valentine’s Day can be described as an important date on which humans once exchanged confessions of love using the symbol of an organ to showcase their affection. A holiday that has not been celebrated since 2030, it teaches us valuable lessons about history and how not to repeat it.”

Frederic yawns off to my right, and I shoot him a glare. I turn my paper over, eyes scanning the sentences that I spent the whole night coming up with.

“You know what?” I say, ripping the papers in half. The class gasps, Mrs. Vanaala putting a hand to her chest in shock. “Fuck this. I’m going to tell you what Valentine’s Day is really about.”

“Aaray! Do not use such language in my classroom!”

I decided that Mrs. Vanaala could shove it up her ass, too.

“You clearly all want a show. So, Lila, if you could dim the lights?” A girl to my left straightens at the attention, and drags two fingers through the air till the lights dim to about 20%. The faint glow of the 3D heart illuminates in my eyes.

“Valentine’s Day is a conspiracy,” I pause as everyone’s eyes grow wide. I look over at the teacher, who is clutching her desk, fingers white. “It started as a way to farm the human heart,” I gesture a hand wildly at the image behind me. “There was a liquid no one knew about, buried deep under all the arteries and veins. They say it could grant immortality—”

“We already have that!” Johny screams, causing an uproar of laughter to travel through the class.

I stomp angrily on the ground before taking a calming breath. “Yes, Johny, but they didn’t use to have that. Maybe if you paid more attention to your history class, instead of staring at other girls, you would know that.” I smirk as Johny sits back, temporarily mollified.

“As I was saying,” I quickly toss my ripped papers to an empty chair. “They found this liquid, and the government was desperate to get their hands on it. Why don’t you just use the dying or sick, you might ask? Well, it was most potent the younger you were. Scientists think that this is your life force, so the older you get, the more you use up. So they start killing people. Now, obviously,” I hold up a hand as if someone had objected. The room was still. Silent. All eyes on me. “This caused quite the uproar, and the people started to protest. Where is my immortality? No, don’t kill my brother! Very selfish, in my opinion.”

“Aaray, this has gone too far. You must stop this line of talk this instant!” Mrs. Vanaala says nervously, glancing at her podputer.

I ignore her, waving my hand at the 3D image. It zooms in on the heart till a tiny, yellow substance can be seen. “This was called the Valentine’s immortality. Named after the guy who ‘discovered’ it. Actually, that’s another interesting conspiracy. They say he was experimenting on people illegally, selling their hearts on ‘the black market’, where you used to be able to buy drugs and shit.”

Years upon years of research fill my mind, washing over me in tidal waves. This strange fascination with the past was finally coming in handy. There was no chance of Johny winning now.

“Decades later, this turned into a celebration. Five people—in the entire world, I might add—were granted immortality. They were given hearts to eat, and it was a huge party. Over the years, this line of…harvesting…dwindled. People all over the world were angry because they were left to die while others could live forever. Eating hearts was outlawed, but, of course, when has that ever stopped humanity?” The image changed to a huge, brown heart, a brand name stamped in the center. It spun, little sparkles ricocheting off at various angles.

“The Hershey’s Heart. The company took rotten human hearts and sold them, claiming that there was still a bit of life force inside. Out of desperation, people started to eat them. Since the heart was rotten, it didn’t really work as planned. Instead, it gave them a rush, a temporary boost to their energy and morale. This went on for decades—all underground—before someone leaked the recipe to the world. Brands started fighting over it, rapidly producing the rotted hearts in all manner of flavours.”

Everyone is leaning over in their seats. Some have their mouths hanging wide open. Mrs. Vanaala looks like she’s about to pass out. She has her hands clamped tightly over her ears, rocking slowly back and forth. Her podputer is dark.

“This is the truth of Valentine’s Day. This is what they do not, and will never teach you.”

An alarm goes off, and several heads flick nervously to the door.

“Think about what else they are hiding! We can’t trust them!”

Mrs. Vanaala explodes into a cloud of crimson dust. Students shriek, podputers flying everywhere as they leap out of their chairs. Shit. I’m definitely not going to win now.

The door flies open, several ‘PeaceKeepers’ rushing into the room. “Where is Aaray Valentine?”

I stand my ground, trying not to let them see the tremble of my lip, the tears about to spill out of my eyes. Johny looks at me from across the room. For a second, I think he’s about to help me. To point them in the other direction. Then, a cruel smile lifts his face.

“She’s right there.” And with a raised arm, a pointed finger, they turn towards me.

The world becomes a haze as they lock onto me. All eyes on me.

My ponytail jingles one last time as I raise two middle fingers in their direction.

“Kiss my ass!” I scream as everything goes dark.

And with that, I send my final kiss for Valentine’s Day.