Magical Chaos of a Newbie Witch

“Well, this could have gone better,” Clark wheezed out, having fallen to his knees on the floor.

I was frozen, petrified, and confused as shit. All I know is that the cat I’ve had for three years is now standing in front of me as a fully grown and very naked man. If you had told me that my cat, whom I named Clark because I was stoned out of my mind when my mother handed him to me, would transform into a human being right before my eyes, I would have laughed.

LAUGHED.

So hard.

But I can’t laugh. No, instead I flung the strange book with golden etched symbols on it, right at him, hitting him square in the family jewels. Good thing I never got him fixed? Oh boy, that, now that would have been funny.

I can’t help but chuckle at the thought. “What’s so funny, Lewis?”

I immediately shut up and meet strange yet familiar, yellowish-green eyes. Clark continued to kneel on the floor with a glare I knew was all for me. I did throw a book at him after all.

“I-uh, well. This is awkward.”

He rolls his eyes and leans over to grab a blanket, covering himself up. Thank god. I don’t know how much longer my poor virgin heart could take it. The man looked like a Calvin Klein Ad I kept secretly under my bed.

“Awkward? More like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Who even gave you that grimoire?”

Excuse me? A what? I’m still hung up on the fact that you were my cat just a moment ago.

I point to the book, “You mean that thing?”

Clark picks it up and really looks at it, his face still as stone, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“I didn’t know house cats could swear.”

That earns me a glare as he starts to open the book to a random page. But that’s when I remember and rush to grab it, “Wait!”

But it’s too late.

More magical chaos ensues as the magic from the page pours out, and it’s like a tornado of light and sparkles whips around us. I can barely see him, only yelling out as I try to figure out where my body is going, until finally it stops.

I’m still in my bedroom. Good, that’s good, right? Yet, as I turn to find where Clark went, I feel something bump my hand. My eyes look to see a strange glowing binding wrapped around his wrist and mine.

Clark is really close to me now, and I can’t help but yelp as I try to back away. He grunts from the shift, our chests connecting on impact as my back hits the bed. A gust of air leaves my lungs from being squashed, the pain causing me to close my eyes. Even as a cat, it would feel like I couldn’t breathe when he was standing on my chest, meowing in my face.

Hot breath fans my face, and my eyes pop open to once again be met with yellowish-green glaring back at me. Something like a growl reverberates through his chest, and I actually find myself tongue-tied.

“You’re on me,” I say, unsure what to do.

Clark snarls, showing a fang, making my eyes widen, “You’re the one who caused all this!”

This jerk! “I’m sorry. I’m not the one who was just a damn cat a second ago. You don’t seem fazed by that fact. Did that stupid book show me something you were hiding?”

His snarl intensifies as his nose brushes mine. Being buried alive right now feels like a good idea as a blush I can’t control rises on my neck and, unfortunately, my pale complexion.

“I don’t have to tell you shit. You’re the one who stuck their nose in something you don’t understand.” I can’t help but feel his hand flex beside my head, his nails changing into claws that probably want to tear me apart.

Knock. Knock. Knock!

I gasp, whipping my head towards the door, “Wait! Mom don’t—”

The door to my bedroom swings open. Mom is pushing the door up with her back as she carries a laundry basket full of clean, folded clothing.

“Lewlew, you forgot your…oh my,” the laundry basket drops to the floor.

Mom stares at Clark and me as he still lies on top of me. The blanket covering us. But I can see what this might look like. I look back and forth from the two in panic. Clark is facing away from my mom with a strange look on his face. Is he embarrassed? Mom then recovers from the shock and smiles, covering her eyes.

“Mom, I swear. It isn’t what it looks like!”

She begins to shut the door with a wicked grin on her face, hand still over her eyes, “Oh, don’t worry. I didn’t see anything. I have the urge to bake, so I’ll be in the kitchen when…well, I’ll be there if you need me.”

The door shuts with a deafening click.

I’m gaping like a fish out of water at what just happened. Whatever is going on in her head is not good at all. Not for me anyway. I’m in for a barrage of questions when I leave this room.

Who’s your friend?

Where did you meet?

Been together long?

Is he gay, too?

I’m never leaving this room. It’ll just be a nightmare.

My eyes can’t leave the door. That is, until a rough hand grips my face, forcing me to look at the annoyingly grumpy cat turned human.

“You need to fix this.”

I nervously laugh and turn my head away, trying to move my body from underneath him, “Oh, I plan on it, now get off me!”

He grunts as our bound wrists make it hard to sit up. I let out a huge sigh once there’s a little bit of space between us. Clark is adjusting the blanket around his waist again, and I shake my head. “You need clothes.”

Another roll of the eyes and poor coordination by both of us later, Clark is finally clothed with a pair of oversized sweats and a t-shirt that I thought was huge on me, but is just right and snug on him. Goodbye, sleep shirt. Although one can’t really be mad when he looks so damn good in such a casual outfit. If only I knew he hadn’t once been a cat.

“What are you staring at?”

I cough and look away, “Nothing. So, what do we need to do to, you know-,” I lift our bound wrists, “-fix this?”

Clark grabs a hold of the cursed book off the dresser, where it had found its home after the chaos, “I need to know who gave this to you.”

I roll my eyes, “Some weird lady at the thrift store. She is always working the checkout counter, but I don’t know her name.”

He started pulling me towards the door, grabbing my car keys on the way, “Bring me there.”

I dig my feet into the floor, making us both stumble, “Excuse me. You can’t just tell me what to do!”

In seconds, my back hits the door. I groan from the ache between my shoulder blades. It’s now my turn to glare up at him, taking note that he is at least a foot taller than me, “What was that for?”

Clark’s eyes darken, definitely not liking my defiance, “My patience is wearing thin, Lewis.”

I can’t help but let my mind wander. It’s not helping, him standing like that, over me like that, nor talking to me like some book boyfriend. This has got to be a freak dream or something. This can not be real.

“Cat got your tongue?”

Clark brings my focus back with a snarky comment partnered with a heated smirk. I turn as much as I can, mumbling profanities about how stupid he is while opening the door, doing my best to bypass Mom’s baking spree in the kitchen to the garage where my car is.

But she spots me as I enter the garage.

“Wait, Lewis, where are you and your friend going?”

I fake a smile, “Oh, um, just out.”

She grins, looking between Clark and me, “Will both of you be back soon for dinner and dessert?”

I honestly don’t know, “I— But I don’t get to say anything because Clark beats me to it.

“Very soon, Mrs. Harper. We just need to clear our heads.”

She nods, “Of course. Dinner will be ready at six.”

We’re left alone again, and I look to Clark, seeing that strange look on his face again. But it’s quickly replaced by zero emotions as we head to the car and take fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to get in the damn car. By the time I’m able to actually buckle myself up, I’m out of breath. I spare him one glance before backing up, but he pays me no attention, deciding looking out the window is more fun.

Twenty minutes later, I pull into the thrift store parking lot. The old sign ‘Rosie’s Teasures’ reflects the bright sun high up in the semi-clear sky. I swear one of those clouds is mocking me by looking like a cat.

The bell rings as we enter. Our shoulders are bumping into each other so much that Clark stops just to growl at me.

“Spicy kitty,” I can’t help but giggle at my stupid joke, which of course earns me another glare. I believe that is glare number six. How many until I get to a smile or a smack? It’ll probably be death if I keep going at this rate.

We stop at the counter where the weird lady is thankfully sitting behind it, reading a magazine with headphones in. She must not know we’re here with how loud her music is. Impatient as ever, Clark leans over the counter, ripping out an earbud, startling her.

“What the hell?”

“I’d like to know the same thing,” Clark says, slamming down the grimoire on the counter. She instantly freezes up her mouth, gaping open, and words dying on her tongue. “You knew exactly what you were giving this idiot, weren’t you, Witch!”

“Whoa, hey now,” I try to defend myself, but Clark puts a finger to my lips to shush me. “The adults are talking right now.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I stare wide-eyed at both of them, “I’m an adult too!”

Clark raises a brow at me as if what I said was ridiculous. “What? I am!”

The Witch laughs, “This is fun,” she grabs a bag of chips, popping a chip in her mouth, “Go on, continue your married couple bickering.”

We both look at her, “Shut up.”

She puts one hand up in surrender as she sits back down to snack on her chips, “Then I guess I don’t need to tell you how to-,” she points to our bound wrists, “-fix that.”

Clark sighs, suppressing a growl, “Fine. Tell us. But then I need to know why.”

She rolls her eyes, setting the chip bag down, “I guess. Only because I’m intrigued.”

With a quick incantation and a touch from her glowing pointer finger on the bindings, they disintegrate, allowing us to take a step away from each other.

Clark cracks his neck, looks over to me, then back at the Witch, “Answers now, Witch.”

She huffs, “First off, a thank you would be nice, and second, you can call me Julie. And I gave that idiot the grimoire because I thought he might want some good luck for a change, but I see it’s backfired.”

I scoff, “That’s an understatement.”

Clark glares again. Number seven.

“So your idea of a good time was to give him the Book of Desires, which apparently uses chaos magic.”

She tilts her head in confusion at us and then back down at the grimoire, “Chaos magic? It doesn’t use Chaos magic.”

“Then can you explain why he isn’t my cat anymore?”

She stares wide-eyed at me while all Clark can do is lower his head, shaking it and running a hand through his naturally red hair. She crosses her arms, raising a brow at Clark.

“You’re a Familiar?”

A what? “You’re a what?”

Clark waves his hands in front of him, “That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is why it is using chaos magic, and why him.”

I’m being ignored. Of course I am.

Julie picks up the book, “as I said, it doesn’t use chaos magic, see—”

She proceeds to open the book, and we both try in vain to stop her with our panic clear as day. But again…it is too late. The book does what it wants, and with a swirl of magic around us, Clark and I are once again in a strange predicament.

I know for sure the blush on my face is full body as I’m straddling Clark on a thrift store couch. But that isn’t even the icing on the cake. That damn book put me in a damn sexy mouse costume!

“This is beyond humiliating,” I go to hide behind my face until I see it. Fluffy orange tabby colored ears on top of Clark’s head, and something soft grazes my leg. I look to see it’s a tail. I rub my eyes to see if I’m seeing things or if Clark has actually partially transformed back into a cat.

“Tell me about it,” his face scrunched up in distaste as he went to cover his ears.

Julie comes over, laughing at our situation, “Oh boy, you weren’t kidding. Well, I think I figured out your problem, and that’s the second answer to your question.”

“Good, tell us. And Lewis,” I look down at him, glare number eight directed towards me, “get off me.”

I purse my lips, “Right.”

We move to sit on opposite sides of the couch. Julie holds the book tightly and hands it to Clark, who holds it as if it were a bomb about to go off at any moment.

“Has it occurred to you, Familiar, that you found yourself a newbie Witch that has chaos magic?”

Clark is quiet for a moment before his eyes widen in a realization I’m not aware of yet. A redness dusts his cheeks, his ears folding back slightly. God, he looks so cute. All I want to do is touch his ears. Yet, what Julie says starts to process in my head. Are they saying I’m a Witch?

“Are you saying I have magic?”

Julie nods, while Clark remains silent, “You must come from a line of Witches that have chaos magic. So, when I gave you this book, and you opened it up, the book literally fed from your magic and gave you the desires you crave.”

Gave me what I craved?

So, what? Is she saying I wanted my cat to turn into a fully grown man, and wanted to be bound with him? And I apparently wanted to dress up with him and continue to make myself a laughing stock? How are all these my desires?

Julie raises a brow and moves her eyes to Clark as if trying to tell me something. So I look over to him and see his face redder than a tomato. Why would he be…oh.

Oh my god. I really did cause all this. My horny brain. Oh my god!

“Clark—”

I begin to panic, but a rough hand slaps against my mouth, shutting me up. My eyes meet his, and it seems he has regained his composure. “Don’t.”

“But—”

He adjusts his hand on my mouth again, and it’s my turn to glare at him, “I’ll help you learn to control your Chaos Magic.” He removes his hand while shaking his head, “God knows you’re too much of an idiot to handle it on your own.”

“Hey!”

Julie laughs, “He has a point. You’re clumsy.”

“Am not.”

“You are also very oblivious.”

I go to the counter but shut my mouth, knowing I can’t defend that. Julie helps me find a decent set of clothing to wear back home, seeing as the magic seemed to tear mine up. And I am not going home in a stupid mouse costume with my mother. Nope. Not going to happen.

Clark turns to Julie, “Unfortunately, I fear I’ll need your help with this one.”

I roll my eyes, “I’m not some child.”

Julie and Clark look over at me, then back at each other, “Fine. I’ll help you. But first.”

Julie takes the grimoire and locks it in a box behind the counter, “This will stay here until you are ready for it.”

I shrug, because it’s not like she’s not wrong. That thing caused way too many problems. Poor Clark didn’t stand a chance.

“So, back home for dinner then? You know Mom is going to ask a lot of questions.”

Clark shakes his head, “Don’t you think you should be asking her questions?” Clark turns to Julie one last time and points to his cat ears, “Could you?”

“Oh, yeah.”

In seconds, Clark’s ears and tail are gone, and I’m slightly disappointed. My Mom is probably a Witch, and my cat is no longer my cat. It’s been a long day.

After parking the car, Clark stops me, “Your mother found me one night while I was traveling to my next Witch. You were my new charge this entire time. I’m sorry for not helping sooner.”

I’m baffled by his apology, “It’s okay. I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything anyway.”

He nods in understanding, and after a moment, we exit the car, but a question nags on me, “Did you ever watch me when I—?”

Clark smacks me upside the head with glare number nine.

I chuckle. Guess I got my answer.