let's get to 100

Olivia: Theo? Hey, do you want to go somewhere?

I stared at the text, grimacing. It sounded so weird. It sounded clingy. It sounded like I wanted too much. God, I can’t text without overthinking.

My little sister, Lacy, came into the room. “What do you want?” I asked in a sweet voice. The last thing I needed was for an eight-year-old to start bawling in my room if my voice wasn’t perfectly pitched. She looked at me, and then at the phone in my hands. “Can I play the unicorn game?” She asked in her cute little eight-year-old voice. I sighed. I had downloaded a unicorn game after The Incident at my brother’s soccer game. Let’s just say that my sister can’t sit still, but she was bored and wanted to play with Drew.

“Oh, uh, how about you come back in five minutes, and then we can play,” I said, showing her a timer on my phone. She pouted her bottom lip out. “What am I gonna do for five whole minutes?” She pouted, adding a whimper at the end. I looked at her with a pleasant smirk. “Lace, you can always play with your Barbies, or you can ask Rosie if she wants to play doctor, or you can be a big girl and take Pickles on a walk. I hear that she needs some exercise.” I said. She ‘humphed’ and walked out of my room with her arms crossed. I smiled halfway.

I looked at my looming phone, and saw the message pop up as read. I caught my heart skipping a beat; my chest tightening. He replied about thirty seconds afterwards.

Theo: Yeah, we can. Where to?

Olivia: I dunno. Maybe, like, a coffee shop?

Theo: OK- I'm all for the cringe, romance-movie coffee shop date, Liv.

Olivia: Oh hush up. Seriously- not a date, dude. In your dreams.

Theo: You're right, in my dreams. 😏

Olivia: be quiet. I'll meet you in fifteen.

Theo: Got it, love girl.

I sighed. Was I really meeting Theo? I mean, we did stuff like this, but he'd never agree like this. Or call it a date. Theo is confusing, man.

Ten minutes later, I made the short drive to Theo's house and waited a bit in my car until it had been fourteen minutes and thirty seconds, and then I walked up to Theo's front door. He was waiting there, quirky as usual. I could feel my face getting warmer, and I felt my chest compressing in a way that felt foreign.

"'Sup, Olivia," He said, wrapping me in a side hug. If you didn't know us at all, you'd genuinely have to question if we were siblings or dating. We do consider ourselves as siblings, though. Always together, always will be, always have been. Our parents were friends; it's a whole thing. I looked at him, his whole demeanor; the effortless style. A cream hoodie that definitely used to be white, what I was sure were swim trunks, and some Birkenstock sandals. Meanwhile, I had spent a long time getting ready. Just kidding. This was Theo we were talking about- I was dressed in athletic Nike shorts, an actual cream tank top, and my signature tennis shoes. Boring, Bland, Basic: Olivia.

We chatted for a bit in the car, just about regular stuff. I felt like I was... grounded. I wasn't floating, which is really good. A lot of people associate sinking with feeling bad, but I float. I lose grasp of the world around me; I float away. But not with Theo. When he was around you, you always felt at peace. Something about him was just like that. But I knew Theo. Our friendship wasn't all jokes and unicorns. We were deep. Sometimes, instead of telling my friends things, I told Theo. Theo always heard first.

We got to the coffee shop around six, and my stomach was growling. I couldn't eat lunch, due to the number on the scale last night. But I'm fine, I say, just tired, whenever someone asks why I'm not eating. I am fine, right?

Crack.

I smiled away the thought, and yanked the keys out of my car. We opened our doors, and then made a plan.

"Okay, love girl. I'm very hungry, and I just got back from swim practice, hence the shorts, so I want to go out for dinner after this, got it? I'll buy it if you get the coffee," Theo said as we opened the dinging door. "I knew you were wearing swim shorts, you weirdo!" I said, play-shoving him. He laughed a little and we sat down in a back booth that was unofficially reserved for us.

We talked for a hot second until my and his stomachs were audibly growling, and then I walked up to the counter with Theo and my orders. For Theo- an espresso, and for me a cappuccino.

"Hey, Hattie," I said, recognizing the barista as a girl from our high school. Well, she graduated last year, but was taking a gap year.

"Oh, hey, Olivia, what can I get for ya?" She said, leaning against the counter.

"Uh, one espresso and one cappuccino. Don't ask why I'm here with Theo Carpenter at six o'clock in the evening at a coffee shop. It's been quite a day." I said, pulling my hair into a messy bun.

"I wasn't gonna, knowing you two. Anyway, that's one espresso and one cappuccino? Got it. It'll be ready soon." Hattie said.

"Thanks, Hattie,"

"No problem. Always a pleasure seeing folks like y'all."

I smiled real and headed back to the booth with Theo. He had his phone out, playing Block Blast. I rolled my eyes discreetly and sat down, making an entrance. He looked up, "Oh, hey Olivia. I forgot you were here," he said, smirking a little. I groaned and said, "Shut up, teddy bear."

Theo and I had nicknames for each other that sprouted in fourth grade and kept on till this very day, in our junior year of high school. Mine was dependent on how Theo was feeling, in a way. I had three main ones. Liv, love girl (not capitalized), or Olive. Don't ask about 'love girl'. I may or may not have been obsessed with romance novels and maybe a few boys. Anyway, his were Theo, for Theodore, and teddy bear. Again, we were in fourth grade. Don't ask.

He laughed a little, but it didn't meet all the way. His phone buzzed on the table and his eyes averted it and me. He slowly picked it up and then made an annoyed face. "Just Rex being Rex," He said, silencing his phone and putting it in his pocket. I looked at him with a mix of concern and just overall weirdness. Rex was his stepdad.

"You're good, right?" I asked, grabbing his finger from across the table. We weren't really touchy, but when it mattered we were in some ways. We were just siblings like that.

He smiled, finally reaching his eyes, "Yeah," he said, "we're good. I'm good, I mean. You know what I meant."

I laughed a little and we drank coffee. We ended up wasting over two hours, not even paying attention to our rumbling stomachs. We talked about random stuff, deep stuff, and school drama. As Rosie, at eleven, would say, roses are red, cacti are prickly, oh my gosh, that escalated quickly. She had a quirk for those things. We went from talking about how bad our football team was to talking about Rex and my parents' marriage struggles. And obviously, who was hooking up with who in junior year.

At around eight forty-five, Hattie came over to us, her apron in hand. "Hey, guys," she said, "I don't mean to break the moment, but we're closing in ten minutes, so go ahead and wrap it up,"

We said okay and then got up, throwing away our coffee cups and walking out, laughing about a new inside joke we had created. Lil' Jim Bob. Inside joke; you wouldn't get it.

I hopped into my car and Theo buckled his seatbelt. He looked out of the window for about thirty seconds, and then looked back at me.

"Hey, Liv?" He said, his voice cracking a little. We were turning onto his street. I suddenly made a U-turn.

"Yeah? Sorry, I forgot dinner. Your treat, remember? We're going to Olive Garden, Theo." I said, glancing at him.

"Good with me. Okay, anyway, I was going to say that like, I wanna do that with you again."

"I do too, teddy bear."

"Love you, love girl."

"Love you too, teddy bear."

That night, we ate pasta, had too many bread sticks, and I didn't once picture numbers; calories. We went back and I hugged him in his yard, for a while. We're siblings, though. But I still love 'em. Can't deny that, can I?

Olivia: hey, Theo! I just wanna say that whoa, that was great. We should def do that again and again and again. It'll be so much fun when we're seniors!

Theo: About that... I mean, I would want to do it again on relapse if I could but that's not the world we live in, you know?

Olivia: Teddy, what are you talking about? Me, you, senior year, right? Sorry, not like that. But still.

Theo: yeah, I know. But... okay, I gotta face it, OK? Look... we're moving. Rex 'doesn't like it here' or something. I think it's BS, but I never have an opinion.

Olivia: wait actually? Theo?? I actually can't function without you, teddy. I mean, I can, but like... Why do you have to go??

Theo: yeah, I know. I don't know why I have to go. Rex is freaking controlling Mom's every move and action, so she has no say and I have no say. It's all Rex. I know I say that there aren't any bad guys, but I don't know how Rex can be a good guy. I dunno anymore, love girl.

Olivia: oh. well, let's not dwell on this. Not that it doesn't matter- it does, but I don't want to spend your last days here in sadness. Let's burn something, Theo!

Theo: I really hope you're joking, Liv.

Olivia: I am, teddy bear, you are such a law abiding citizen. I'm proud of you, Theo. My little baby... all grown up!

Theo: Hush up. I'm only two weeks younger than you. Two. Weeks! You have nothing on me, elder.

I laughed a high-pitched laugh and Dad knocked on my door, signaling to shut up since Rosie and Lacy were sleeping. I sighed, and opened my book. Yes, my book.

Three days past, and Theo wasn't at school. He wouldn't respond to my texts, but his light was always on up in his room. I knew he was there. I just knew it.

Olivia: Hey, Theo. I don't know why you're not coming out of your room. If you don't I will personally come over there and bust you out, all FBI style. You know I will, teddy. Just please text me back.

Olivia, Saturday, 4:41 A.M.-

'Hey, Theo. I, uh, I... ugh this actually sounds so bad and clingy but I don't care. Ah... I miss you, OK? It's early, which is rare, so that should tell you about how much, like, you mean to me and stuff I guess. Love you, teddy bear. I want a 'love you, love girl'. That sounds really bad too. Ugh, I can't get anything right. Oh well. See ya, Theo. If I do before you leave. Love you, teddy bear. Bye.'

I listened to my voicemail over and over again, listening to the pleading in my voice. It doesn't sound right.

I opened my phone again.

Olivia: I don't know how many messages we have, but this is really random and I like the number 100 because you know, the 100th day of school in elementary school meant 100 Froot Loops on a necklace or something. But yeah. So your next message will be our 100th message! More like 1000th but I don't care! 100th it is!

Olivia: let's get to 100.

Olivia: Theo?

**The message could not be sent. User blocked.**

Dedicated to Erwin. Only 1 year.