A Frustrating Splash of Destiny

Hi friend.

So we’re both on our way home from the daily rinse-repeat, know what I mean? I just feel like telling someone about all of this. I hope that’s OK. We’ve both got a little time to kill on the ride, “cooling our bottoms” on the transit, anyway. May as well make some small talk.

It’s been a day. I mean, I have it really good and I don’t want to complain. Others are basically drafted into lives that aren’t nearly as great as mine, but I suppose our perspectives are still our own. I like to think that I can have a really strange and complicated day and still know that I have it a lot better than most. That’s true, right?

You see, I’ve had a really lucky life. I’ve been so fortunate. As soon as I came to making my own way, I was given an amazing opportunity to work serving at this really upscale Tea and Coffee joint. The clientele are sophisticated, but not too stuffy. Not the “pinkies up” crowd, which is great. As you might be able to tell, I like nice, but I’m not so into things that are super formal.

This place is really exclusive and small, and it requires constant attention, which is great! I love interesting people and would be eavesdropping anyway so there being a need to follow along with everyone really closely and what they’re saying, to actually have it be in the job description, is perfect. Fact is, these folks have a lot of really fascinating conversations if you stay curious, don’t just shut your mind off. You can hear about all sorts of cool stuff.

The other day, this woman was talking about going to Bali and had all of these amazing stories. She got herself purified at a water temple. Doesn’t that sound just amazing?

OK. I saw that little drift off to the side. Not your thing. Totally get it. Moving on.

So, not only did I get this gig, but it came with a spot in a wonderful boarding house with a bunch of neat ladies and it even has a cleaning service. It also has this amazing view of the sunset every day. I mean, who just gets this type of a deal for their first job. No paying my dues at a greasy diner. Mama told me that it does really help that I’m part of a well-to-do family and it comes with a bunch of advantages. She spent time at a factory, and she saw how hard it can be and how others were even more devoted to jobs that offered so much less, and things just so rarely got better. It’s like we’re dropped into these destinies and it’s almost impossible to go from the diners to a job like mine.

Why am I so lucky? Answer is in the question, she says. Just luck. Not to take anything away from me that is, of course. Obviously, I’m a complete delight, and I take my job really seriously, but yeah... Mom said that I should never take it for granted. Never look down on others who were practically made for these harder lives, and I most definitely don’t. I list ten gratitudes every morning and it’s so easy because I am so fortunate and I’ll never forget it.

Well, I guess my origin is established. I always do that… I just don’t want you to think that I don’t see how great it is here, because I do.

You know, are you new around here? I’m surprised we haven’t crossed paths. I’m always on this lift.

Oh yeah, sorry. You aren’t in a talking mood. That’s great. I’m really caffeinated and happy to talk and talk and entertain you with my adorably chipper and plucky voice… Ha-ha! I’m kind of like an Anna Paquin type, don’t you think?

She is just so special. I think she’s a friend of the owners or something because she actually came in once. Weird crowd for someone like Anna Paquin, but there she was, drinking some tea and talking about Gary Shandling. It was around when the poor man died. They were in a movie together when she was younger. A lot of people don’t know that, but I did. It was on once and I watched it from the other room. It was a whoop-dee-doo of a crazy movie, but she was so delightful. I think she might be my favorite.

Oh dear… I’m sorry, this all has nothing to do with Anna Paquin. I’m just a fan. She was so incredibly nice. A gentle soul, you know? You always figure that people like her don’t have to be, but then again I guess just people in general don’t have to be. She definitely is, very nice and gentle that is, so respectful and kind.

So… I’m very lucky. Guess we’ve established that. I land in this job, my first job, with such an amazing boarding house and such wonderful guests like Anna Paquin and people who tell stories about going to Bali and what not, and I get to work alone… I mean alone as part of a team, but alone, you know? I’m responsible for my guests, which feels good. It feels like respect and trust. It feels like I alone am good enough.

Today was different though. This morning I’m getting ready to head to the tables and it’s brought to my attention that there’s this new idea. The bosses found some new talent “tucked away” somewhere and they’re going to “class up the joint even further” by having two of us at a station. Now I’ve got to have this guy under me to show the ropes and that’s just the way it’s going to be.

I like working alone. I’m very independent and have a way of doing things. This was really upsetting.

I’ve been so frustrated because I guess it’s kind of insulting. It’s like the management just doesn’t think I’m enough, you know?

Then it’s even worse. You know, I’m talking to this guy and he’s all doe eyed and sweet. He’s all like “I’m sorry, I can tell that this isn’t the way you want things. I would feel weird too…” and blah, blah, blah. Don’t be sweet. You’re a jerk. You’re invading my turf. I don’t want to like you.

Also, argh… he’s really cute. I mean, he’s SO cute. I think we look really good together too. Is that weird? I just met him today, but it’s pretty obvious. Somehow though, it’s like we were made to exist together as some sort of a set. We’re the same age too. Isn’t that crazy? I mean, so annoying?

So, how does that work? I’m supposed to sit on top of this guy all day and do my job with the tea… He got splashed earlier today and it was so cute. It was nice too. The person took their little rag out and wiped him off and he looked all pristine again. He even giggled a little, like it tickled him. It was really sweet. Now I hate this lack of trust, but I can’t wait to see him again and… feel complete like that. What am I supposed to do with this? I feel like I’m going crazy! I hate this situation, but I also like him so much.

Do you think you can be made for someone like that? I mean, I’ve heard of perfect pairs. My mom would tell me about them from her days working in the factory offices and hearing about them, but I’d never seen one. I definitely never thought I might be a part of one. Is that what this is, some kind of destiny? It’s all so fast, but it feels so meaningful. It’s not supposed to be like this… or is it?

Oh, boy. This is my stop already. Jeez. Thanks for letting me talk that chip out of you. That was preexisting, right? Not me? Whew… Good.

Anyway… Au revoir. That means “until we meet again.” I always like it more than goodbye. Goodbyes make me sad. Maybe German? There was this really nice couple… Oh shoot. Gotta go. Auf Wiedersehen.