The Gift

Last night I brought home the most wonderful gift for The Sad Ones. I know it was a good gift because of the their reaction. But before I continue, I should explain why I call them that. I call them The Sad Ones because ever since they found out they’re unable to make a small version of themselves, it seems like all they do is cry. I feel sorry for them, I truly do but life was much better for me before they tried to make a small version. It was a time when they called me their ‘baby’. I didn’t like the name baby but I liked the attention I received. I was showered with cuddles, meals were of the highest quality and play times were what I lived for. Now though, I’m lucky if I get a cuddle. Fresh fish has been replaced by dusty fish shaped biscuits that taste nothing like real fish! And play time…play time is now just a feather on a stick hanging out of a drawer. Life used to be great but since they became sad, all I have is a cyclical dull routine. Don’t get me wrong, I love a routine but I need more than biscuits and sleep. I needed my old life back! So I decided I had to do something about it, and yesterday was the night I was successful in finding a gift that would get me my life back. The gift of all gifts. A gift that would erase the sadness and return things to the way they should be; with me at the centre.

Up until I found it, the day had been rather normal. I awoke the sad ones at first light - well just before actually - and ate my breakfast, then went back to sleep for a while. I heard them go out as they normally do, after they’d had their breakfast. I was too tired to get up to say goodbye so I stayed in bed. A while Iater I had a mooch around the house to pass some time. Sometimes I go outside for a wander but it was raining so I stayed indoors. By the time the sun was going down, I was just finishing my second nap. I thought about going outside to try to find the ultimate gift because it had stopped raining. However, even though it was perfect gift getting weather, a setting sun is a sure sign The Sad Ones would be home soon and I could feel my hunger growing. Therefore, I made the sensible decision to wait for them by the window that looks out onto the driveway. As predicted, they arrived home a short while later. With a gentle reminder as they came through the big door, my evening meal was prepared and gratefully received. After I had eaten, I made my ablutions - if you get my meaning - and headed out for the evening in search of a gift. Conditions were perfect; the moon was full, which meant plenty of light for finding my way around (not that my superior ocular abilities require moonlight) and the temperature was warm which meant windows would be open. I took my usual route out of my immediate neighbourhood which avoided the dogs at number 15. I’d done an extensive search of the area on previous nights for a gift but to no avail. I had no choice, I was going to have to venture outside of the bounds of my territory. I was nervous about it but these were extenuating circumstances that required a bold approach. My best bet for a successful foray was the have-not houses on the West side of town. My territory’s boundary is the gates of the cemetery at the end of my street. The have-not houses are on the far side of the cemetery. I headed in that direction. As I got to the cemetery cut through which was the safest route, I bumped into my fox friend. We don’t see one another very often but she is most probably my best friend after The Sad Ones.

‘Good evening.’

‘Yes it is.’

‘Perfect for hunting when the moon is full.’

‘And when the air is still, even the dead can hear the mice scurrying over their heads.’

I chortled at the fox’s wit. It’s one of the things I like most about her. That and the fact she doesn’t do small talk. Just like me.

So I moved the conversation on in my favour.

‘Tell me fox, do you know of anywhere near here where I’ll be able to source the perfect gift?’

‘Define the perfect gift.’

I explained my situation and what I was looking for.

Fox paused for a moment. She sat on her haunches and raised her nose to the sky. Envy is not an admirable trait but her sense of smell is far superior to mine and is something I am rather jealous of. Her nose is able to pluck information literally out of thin air. She sniffed the air intensely, moving her nose methodically like the hands of the clock from left to right until she caught whiff of something. She paused there for a moment, took a deeper intake of breath, lowered her head to make eye contact with me and pulled a wide grin.

‘There’s one that way.’

She pointed in the direction of the have-not houses.

‘Thank you fox, I owe you one.’

‘What are you going to do with it?’ Fox asked, licking her lips.

I knew what she was up to…she’s a good friend but she’s a conniving one too. She can’t help it, it’s how she survives. If she could, she’d steal my gift right from under my nose to make it her dinner but she’s afraid of them too. She’d never venture into their ‘dens’ as she calls them, like I do.

‘I’m going to bring it home with me to live with The Sad Ones. Come with me if you like. You’ve never been inside one of their dens before have you?’ I said, calling her bluff.

Her grin flattened. Her nose and wit may be sharp but my mind is sharper.

‘I think I heard a mousey rustle in the long grass,’ she said.

‘Some other time then,’ I suggested.

‘Yes, some other time. Good luck in your hunt.’

‘And you in yours’.

With that, we said our goodbyes and slipped off in opposite directions into the night.

The first house I came to had no signs of life at the front so I hopped over the side gate and into the back garden. No lights at the rear either. More importantly all the windows were closed. So I hopped up onto the top of the fence and perched there for a moment. In the house next door there were lights on upstairs which was promising but as I scanned the windows, there was only one open and that was on the top floor. The third house had a dog and the one next to that had a small door withing the big door like the one I use in my own home, so I moved on.

I was becoming impatient and beginning to think about calling it a night when I heard it. It was on the other side of the street, a few houses down. I snuck over the garden gate and slinked under the parked cars to avoid my cover being blown by the street lighting. At the house I believed was correct, I waited under a hedge out of sight. I didn’t have to wait long. From within the room with the open window, situated on the top floor, came the gurgling sound of my gift. I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw the easy access to the room. A tree in the front garden had a large branch that overhung the flat roof below the open window.

I made sure the coast was clear and began my climb. As expected, I was able to climb the tree with ease and nimbly ambled along the overhanging branch. I made the short hop onto the flat roof and over to the window. I jumped onto the sill and poked my head into the room. I was in luck again. It was on its own. I tiptoed silently over to its bed and slipped in next to it. It was sleeping soundly.

The Sad Ones were going to be so surprised when they saw what I’d brought for them, I thought to myself. Finally they would have a small version like they always wanted and they’d treat me the way they used to.

What I hadn’t expected was the shrill howl it emitted when I picked it up by the scruff of the neck. I was so taken aback I let go. By then though the damage was done; even though I’d let go, it just kept on howling. I thought about making my escape before I was caught but now that I’d come this far I couldn’t go back empty handed. I grabbed it again and dragged it out of the bed, across the room and out the window onto the flat roof. At the edge of the roof I encountered the next problem I hadn’t foreseen. The gift was too heavy for me to hold in my mouth and jump onto the branch, so I dropped it. When it hit the ground its noise stopped instantly.

How clever I am, I thought; both problems solved in one fell swoop.

I scolded myself for such self-congratulatory indulgence. Pausing for a mental gloat could get me caught. There’d be time for preening once the job was done.

I recalibrated my mind to the task at hand, hopped onto the branch and descended the tree onto the cool grass to retrieve my prize.

The journey home wasn’t easy, it was the heaviest gift I’d ever carried. Mercifully though, we made it home unscathed.

In order to get it in the house I had to go through my door onto the inside and leave it outside. Once inside, I stuck my head back out and clamped my mouth around its neck and pulled. It was a bit of a squeeze but it fit through. Strangely, it had turned cold and changed colour to a greyish blue which I thought was odd. The Sad Ones are always warm and mostly pink, and the gift had been warm and pink when I first found it. Maybe that’s just what the small versions of the big ones do when they sleep I surmised. I wasn’t concerned because my mission was almost complete. It was then though, I realised how exhausted I was. The herculean effort I had managed was truly astounding but it had taken its toll on me. I didn’t have the energy to drag it upstairs so I deemed it best to leave it on the mat sleeping. I’d take it upstairs in morning when I could fully enjoy watching The Sad Ones metamorphosise at the sight of my gift. Decision made, I left the gift on the mat. Then curled up in my bed, immensely satisfied with my night’s work and fell into a deep sleep.

I was woken abruptly by the female Sad One’s screams. I’d exerted myself so much, I’d overslept. No matter, the screams were a great sign. She always screams when I bring gifts and this was by far the biggest scream I had ever heard come out of her mouth. Then came the screams from the male Sad One. He never screamed at my gifts. It had worked. Hurrah. They loved it. Today was going to be a great day!