Arcade in the mind

We know what we are but know not what we may be. ”~ William Shakespeare

Scarlett called her emotions “tomato purée." They turn intense, like the strong red of a tomato, ready to turn watery anytime, anywhere. Humorous one, that girl.

Our mind is a game, a strenuous dealing—the mind is a remote control that controls us in ways. Her hand isn’t there on the control button. Because the mind is an arcade and growing up, she hasn’t been the best at such games. Well, neither do most of us. But she wants to be. In a perfect way, to win all the games. Just like the most of us. In this only life. Fair.

Lately, Scarlett loves the game of music.

Perhaps because it promises control, which her thoughts never did.

***

The city bus moved through the pouring rain. A guitar clutched in her hand for the show. Beside the window, she did not notice the heavy raindrops melt like beats crafting a song on the busy cars. She barely noticed the black, scattered clouds get lost in the mist.

She was blinded by an angelic light. Her name was ”Sienna Rose.”

A few remaining rays of sunlight fell on Sienna’s silk hair and her bright skin, raindrops decorated up like premium-pearl jewelry on her freshly styled strands. She was like the sweetest thing on this side of hell. Sienna reminded Scarlett of her mother.

Womanly, ideal career, adored, gorgeous, spiritual. It hurt her that she wasn’t enough like them.

Mrs. Windsor did not have time to give Scarlett Windsor greet of the day.

"Everyone would do the same"—was the thought Scarlett sang more than her mother’s spiritual syllables.

The weather only got worse. The radiant roses around town faded to black and white; they now looked dull, painful, and vengeful. Just like how Scarlett felt about Sienna Rose.

Sweetest on side of hell.

Scarlett sat in solitude and listened to a podcast. Away from the overly chatty, wholesome people that sit at the end of the bus. A ping of her phone in her sweaty palm startled her.

A comment.

Critique on her guitar video.

She laughed-smiled, a dimple popping out of her cheek. It was just one of the hundred thousand people that followed her over screen.

It’s okay. Was it really… okay?

Her face was lively onstage. Though, in that simple café with coffee beans and latte, her mind started singing more than the lyrical verse itself.

Why are the people not so happy today? Maybe I should’ve chosen a different song…

Why did user-888 comment that?

Why is Sienna here?

Why can’t people be kinder in this world?

Please be kind.

I think it isn’t too late to start with a song that would actually be catchy and would connect.

Why would any person here bother to give me the greet of the day?

Sienna is watching.

Intrusive wind broke the window open. The stormy weather swelled up the music with profound richness. Like music touching someone's soul in the dark of the night.

An ideal performance moment.

Only if the wind hadn’t hit the music system.

Mic, not working anymore.

Backing track, inaudible.

Music system, malfunction.

The rain entered the café without invitation.

Red and blue lightning of electric current that was flickering and blazing, almost bursting, blowing up the backing track on an unbearable level.

The crowd was leaving.

The music cracked and fell dead silent as Scarlett’s heart inside.

Scarlett could hear her heart completely crash and burn. Again.

Her mother’s shrill voice echoed in her head, saying if she put her time in anxiety, envy, overthinking as an adult, it won’t help.

"Um, sorry… Looks like we have… if you’d excuse me.”

Scarlett smiled faintly, began to steadily walk off the spotlight, and wiped a tear off of her face.

Sienna had no expression on her face, which was Scarlett’s threat. If they wanted, they would’ve had a decent conversation, but with gripping of muscles in mind, avoidance becomes the most comfortable bed.

More tears flowed down her cheek.

Thud

Poor Scarlett knocked down one of the most prestigious vases. She took a blade-sharp breath inside. Of regret.

Her head hurt, almost as if her vision blurred for a minute. She hadn’t eaten anything that day. The café emptied with a lightning speed. The café crew along with Scarlett apologized with sheer sincerity.

“Really sorry." "Sir, I hope you’re not hurt.” ”I hope you enjoyed the café experience while it lasted.” ”Take care, sir. Take care, ma’am.” ”I hope you come again to enjoy the songs.” ”Please take these cookies on the house.”

Sienna stood up.

“Hi… I hope you liked the café, though. The coffee aroma was such a bliss, right!" Confronted Scarlett.

The silk-haired lady stood expressionless.

“Sienna, I could get one coffee for you, on the house, since you’re here!”

Expressionless.

She is impossible— thought Scarlett.

Until she finally spoke.

"Wait. You guys, wait! I just need one minute, please.

Excuse me, come back, please. I won’t take longer than one minute."

Sienna climbed up the stage flawlessly.

“Everyone, I’m Sienna Rose; I would like to say something quickly. Today Scarlett performed, and that performance was nothing like we expected. Damn, goodness, it was the most pleasant gift anyone could acquire in this godforsaken weather! No one even clapped!

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the ending lines of the song. I certainly liked it. I hope you appreciate her because I have seen how hard that gorgeous lady works. She is an extremely successful artist. Mrs. Windsor is her mom! Sometimes I’m just jealous." Smiled Sienna.

"Anyways, I always trail off when I’m saying something. Performing here amidst the storm would be the least of her concerns. Just saying, it is difficult. Everyone is worried about the weather. But c'mon, even she created a loved, majestic weather of… melodies! She didn’t have to apologize to everyone or deserve no claps. Because I’ve known her a great deal since preschool, she is humble like Mrs. Windsor. Kind too.”

As a moved spectator, Scarlett had a hand over her racing heart. The crowd harmonized to applause and hoots.

Wow

It felt so real, right, kind.

”Thank you. You didn’t have to say that, really. I mean, why even portray me as so flawless?" Said Scarlett, emotional tone, eyebrows arching up with surprise.

”Alright…” Sienna giggled. "That thing you did with the vase, that was flawed.”

They both laughed silly in unison.

“But… Thank you. I was losing it up there.”

Sienna’s smile widened.

"You are talented. You have emotion in your voice. I was one of your first followers, totally hooked. Keep going. I will cheer you on.”

“I would like to hug you?” Scarlett asked with pure bliss.

”Uh. Listen. Scar. This weather makes me feel a bit sick… I will be okay; even if not, you all go home.”

There was a fall.

Fraction of time in, who knew a plain café could turn into a panic hall?

People gathered around Sienna, who was grounded to the floor now.

Most of them were trying the ambulance, some panicking, some lowering their heads and leaving silently; Scarlett’s whole body shivered then froze.

***

She remained frozen for an entire week, with a bouquet of lilies in her trembling hand, black tint in the dress, questioning every belief in the world.

At the deathbed, she smiled with hurt, cried rivers for the girl who saw the truth, spoke words of character, and believed in her.

She thought Sienna was a challenge. But Sienna was the change. Sienna pointed at the bright rainbow we never knew existed. She smiled at the girl who felt jealous. She chose kindness. She was kindness.

Scarlett swore she would be kind. To herself and others.

In a fast-rushing world where people are immensely deep in their own day’s business, troubles, faults, and blame. It’s where Sienna controlled, saw clearly, moved her mind towards empathy, humility, bravery.

She was a person who knew her vehicle very well and the places it could take her. It was sad, so horrible.

That painful storm changed the trajectory of Scarlett’s life forever.

That day she cried for hours, leaning over Mrs. Windsor’s shoulder. Mrs. Windsor sang softly the lines of God, caressing her head. She was scrolling, clicking away on her phone. She made sure to order the most sophisticated vase.

”Don’t cry, dear; I love you. Dear, She was an angel in disguise. With a mind of gold.”

”Ma, I always knew she was an angel. But she was selfless.

She must be with the best gods, the stories you told me about them… Our gods send these people so that they can be a valuable part of our lives. Don’t worry, I love you too, Ma.”

Travelling, Scarlett refused to listen to her usual critiques. Strength had washed over every inch of her frame. God bless her heart was as light as the most intricate, delicate feather you would find across town. Deep in thought, her brush flowed on the paper.

The face of Sienna Rose.

”You’re so artistic, Scar! Music, now even art. That painting is… otherworldly. We all miss her so much! You want to join us in the back? It is a small group we had created.”

Scarlett Windsor smiled, finally, all hearts.

***

And so she sat with wholesome, chatty people that were full of life.

Nothing was perfect. It isn’t evident when it will be.

But it was good enough so that the mind would never be in the same, endless arcade.

Scarlett now knew life was short; she would rock and sing it through.

She decided to bring, one step at a time, her life to technicolor.

So that her mind would not ruminate on faults or any of the lies she believed.

——

" In a world where you can be anything, be kind. “ ~ Clare Pooley