The Crap That Will Never Happen

The Crap That Will Never Happen #1: Any of these delusional fantasies will ever come true. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #2: You will find out about any of these delusional fantasies.

The Crap That Will Never Happen #3: You don't know me. We pass, walking on the sidewalk of a busy street. You see my shirt. You say, "Cool shirt. I like Fall Out Boy, too." That's it. That's all. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #6: I finally get up the courage to talk to you. I ask for your number. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #7: You give it to me. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #11: You call. I answer. We talk. That's all. That's it. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #14: You call. I answer. You ask if I want to hang out. Maybe go for a walk. Maybe go to a movie. Maybe get some food. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #15: We do all four. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #27: You call. I answer. You ask about all the shouting at my end of the phone. I tell you, "The house is tearing itself apart". "Oh," you say, "that sounds dangerous. Want out?" I go. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #32: You finally come by the house. Get a glimpse inside. Maybe two. "How about this?" you ask. "We can run away." It's a joke, but it still makes me smile. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #33: I find the courage to call. You answer. I ask if you want to hang out. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #34: You say yes. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #45: I call. You answer. I ask if you want to go to the zoo. I tell you, "The house is tearing itself apart again." We don't come back for a long time. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #63: We are somewhere. Maybe a beach. Maybe a bridge. Maybe just somewhere that isn't here. I find the courage to tell you about the house. About how it eats itself. Ravenously. A carnivore ripping at itself until nothing is left. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #64; You listen. Nod. Maybe say yours does the same. Maybe say I'm not the only one. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #72: I call. You answer. I find the courage to tell you how I feel. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #73: You say you feel the same. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #76: I call. You answer. I say, "The house is tearing itself apart again." 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #87: We leave. Run away. This time it isn't a joke. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #108: I never go back. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #120: We are happy. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #131: Any of this will be real. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #139: Any of this is true. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #147: The house will stop tearing itself apart. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #156: I tell you everything. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #162: I call. You answer. 

The Crap That Will Never Happen #199: I call.