Marshmallow Pride

THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE MARSHMALLOWS, CELESTE, KATE, NAINIKA, MIRA, JENNIE, (AND ME) FOR BEING SO NICE AND NURTURING AND FOR BEING SO AMAXING. NEW MALLOWS HAVE JOINED BUT THESE ARE THE ORIGINALS. THESE BOOKS WILL CHANGE OVER TIME, THEY ARE NOT SET IN STONE FOREVER. HAPPY NEW YEAR, LAST STORY OF 2020!!!

10. Keeper of the Lost Cities

“No. Absolutely not.” Celeste took the pencil from me and broke it in her hands. “I refuse to put that on the list behind the Great Gatsby. I never got the storyline of Gatsby and Daisy, but KotLC is awesome.” 

Jennie kept on nodding in agreement, and she inched closer to Celeste to pick up the shards of my pencil before breaking it again. 

“All right, all right, I’ll take it off.” No I wouldn’t. They can say what they want about my choices, that doesn’t mean I’m changing them. I shoved Celeste lightly, and Jennie fake-fell to enunciate the HEINOUS CRIME I COMMITTED BY PUSHING OVER CELESTE. If I’m not allowed to push my friends, I might as well be a criminal.

9. The Great Gatsby

“YOU LIAR!!! YOU SAID YOU WOULD PUT KOTLC BEFORE THIS!!!” Jennie and Celeste spoke almost in tandem, as if they were playing a mega-game of jinx. 

“Come on, guys, this is like a classic. It’s one of the most famous American novels, give him a break.” Nainika, obviously the only one to actually have read it, chimed in with a smile. There we had it, team Gatsby and team Foster-Keefe. 

8. Beloved 

“Have you even read this book?” Mira was always questioning me, always skeptical of my book-nerd omnipotence. 

“Eh, I skimmed through it.” This was around the time that Kate chimed in, shoving me right over the log. We were at a campout, toasting some marshmallows while discussing booknerdom. Of course, Kate had read Beloved. She’d read all of the books that we hadn’t. 

“Well, why did you include it then?!?!?” Mira was yelling now, as loud as I’d always expected her comments to be IRL. 

“Even if I haven’t read it, Toni Morrison is a queen above queens. She’s the Ailee of books.” Mira started cackling the way she always did, but don’t worry, she’s not a dark witch, that’s just how she laughs.

7. One Hundred Years of Solitude

“Ok, I have no objections to this one.” Kate gave me a fist-bump from across the fire. 

“See?? Kate’s with me!! This one slaps you right in the face.” None of the other Mallows had read it, but they trusted our combined judgment. 

“How’re everyone’s marshmallows?” Mira was already playing around with hers, mushing it into the graham crackers. Mine was burning up, charring just the way I like it.

“Luke, you’re gonna kill us all with that demon monster.” We all laughed, but my marshmallow kept roasting. 

6. The Wife

“Ok, is Luke the only one that’s read this one?” Kate nodded, which made everyone gasp in awe. Other than my all-time favorite book of all time, there were only a couple of books that all of us combined hadn’t read. 

“Really?? No Anton Chekhov fans?? How dare you?? YOU CALL YOURSELVES WRITERS!?!?!” This was how I was sometimes, fire-monster crazy about the books I loved. They’d gotten used to it by now, they just rolled with it and repented.

5. 1984

As soon as I said the “4”, they all nodded their head and started spouting crazy stuff about “Big Brother” and “Ingsoc”. Ha, the children, they thought that they knew books. WERE THEY FLUENT IN THE ENTIRE LANGUAGE OF NEWSPEAK??? I thought not. 

“You people. I took the time to learn all of the languages of Newspeak and I CREATE NEW WORDS EVERY YEAR!!!” Mira started fake-falling backward to be dramatic. Well, it’s true!

4. And Then There Were None

“No. This is not high enough.” Jennie started flying into a full-on rage, smashing her skewer everywhere and yelling about Lawrence Wargrave.

“I adore this book, Jen, you know I do. Howeverrrrrrrr, the other books in front of this are better. I’m so sorry, Agatha Christie.” I prayed to the lords of literature that they would forgive me.

“And Then There Were None is an amazing book. It slaps. IT SLAPS!” Celeste started emphasizing the slaps, slapping her legs as hard as she could.

“I am aware of that. I understand…” I had to keep trying to appease them, and eventually they calmed down a little more, but I was glad to have such faithful Christieites as my friends.

3. War and Peace

“Ohhhhhhhhhh, yes. YES.” Jennie and I were obviously on the same page.

“Did you guys even read this?” I was talking to everyone but Jen. 

“...No… too long.” Mira cowered in shame of what she had just uttered. Sure, it was 1600 words, but it was worth it.

“Ugh, are any of you guys even gonna eat your s’mores?” Kate was a s’more enthusiast, with only one motto: Get s’more s’mores. If there’s not enough, get s’more. I was more low-key with my s’mores consumption.

2. Crime and Punishment

“Luke, you’re the only one that’s read this.” Nainika decided not to spare me any pain and just tell it to me straight out. 

“What??????!?!?!?!?” I screamed like a deranged parrot. Everyone started laughing, trying to calm me down. How could I be calm when none of my friends had read one of the best books of all time? They don’t know any of the characters, they don’t have a favorite, nothing. Sacrilege, that’s what I call it. 

“You are all sacrilegious fools,” I said slowly, trying to let it sink in that they needed to read it in order to get back in my good graces.

“Ugh, come on.” They all threw s’mores at me, and I forgave them. Never hold grudges against your friends, that’s what I’ve learned. 

1. Atlas Shrugged

“Ah, yeah, I know, John Galt.” Jennie and Mira had heard it so many times. So. Many. Times. I couldn’t get through a day without saying it.

“It is literally the best book I’ve ever read. I loved it so much.” They were blown to the ground by the gravity of that statement. For a dedicated booknerd, as they all were, the favorite book is not a stamp of approval given lightly.

“Fine. We’ll all read it.” They said that now, but I knew they wouldn’t. Still, one can hope. 

Authors Note:

EVERYONE READ THE BOOKS ON THIS LIST. NOW.