Gossip Gone Lethal

It was Sheryl's first day at work, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. She had waited a long time for a finance job, and today she was about to make her dream a reality. Dressed in a beige blazer, navy flare pants, a white shirt, and carrying an off-white tote bag, she looked professional. Although Unit 901 was a treasure hunt, she arrived on time and asked for her manager. To her surprise, her initial training was scheduled with team members rather than her supervisor. Slightly disappointed, she put on a friendly smile and greeted everyone warmly—appropriate for her first day. During her floor walk, she met an employee who was around her age, good-looking, and had a West Asian accent, likely from Iran or Turkey. They exchanged polite hellos, and she sensed he welcomed her sincerely.

Amir was nervous because it was his first week in a desk job. He was waiting for the new employee to arrive, hoping some attention would shift toward her. She was a beautiful woman in her twenties, stylishly dressed. As the receptionist, Amir extended a warm greeting. Sheryl shook his hand and headed to her workstation.

Once Sheryl got back to her desk, she had a surprise waiting for her, and it was not a good one. Neha was a bitchy married woman who liked to poke her nose in everybody’s business. Her gossip circle was huge, and other employees were terrified of her. Some even thought that she was crazy and needed professional help.

“Hello, you look new here”

“Hi, yes, I am Sheryl. Nice to meet you!”

“I’m Neha. Likewise. So, Sheryl, where did you go to school?”

“I went to Michigan-Ross”

“Oh, you’re a smart cookie. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“That's a rather personal question”

“Oh, come on, people are pretty open about these things in our college”

“No, I don’t,” she snapped.

“Aww, find yourself a man, honey.”

“Haha, I have to get back to work. See you around!”

“Of course you will,” said Neha and left.

Meanwhile, at the reception, a man appearing in his early thirties with a grumpy face and balding head approached. "Hello Amir, how are you today?" he asked.

"I'm good, sir. How about you?” Amir responded.

"Excellent," the man replied. His name was Marvi, and he looked as if he had just smelled a troll. He was a jaded middle-aged man and a tenured employee at the college. Always hungry for attention and respect, but everybody just ignored him and often forgot that he existed.

Amir sensed something was on his mind and felt uneasy.

"I have a task for you, my boy," Marvi said.

"Yes, sir, I’m happy to help," Amir replied.

“Great! I see you’ve already met Sheryl, haven’t you?”

"Yes, sir."

"So I've decided you need to prove your manhood to us. Your mission is to make Sheryl fall in love with you. You have two weeks to accomplish this. If you fail, it will be discussed at the annual staff roundtable. And by discuss, I mean be prepared for a full-blown roasting session. Is that clear?"'

"But, sir, how can I..." Amir started.

“YES OR NO?" Marvi cut him off.

"Yes, sir," Amir replied.

"Attaboy," Marvi said.

Nearby, the handyman who was fixing the lighting in the glass cabin next door eavesdropped on the entire conversation and had a killer idea. A man named Hunny was the handyman at the college. He, along with his sidekick Jerry, worked all blue-collar jobs around campus and always complained that their efforts were never appreciated. Out of frustration and envy of the college staff, Hunny lied about everything.

“I know electrical work.”

“I know plumbing.”

“I know Italian.”

“I know the principal personally.”

Jerry blindly agreed with every lie. Although he could barely understand English, he comprehended enough to grasp the context of the situation. This usually led to confusion and messy outcomes.

“Hey Jerry, I have found a pretty amazing and lucrative opportunity for us! Now they will recognize our significance and give us a seat at the table,” said Hunny in hushed tones as he passed by Jerry in the hallway. They were from the same country, so they conversed in their native language.

“I’m listening,” replied Jerry.

“I’m thinking that we could start our own side business of fixing faculty offices and designing interiors in the building.”

“That sounds like a good plan, but is it a rewarding business idea?”

“I know who our first client is going to be, and yes, it will be super profitable. Just follow my lead. No questions asked, like you always do.”

“Yes, boss!”

Hunny explained the whole plan to Jerry. They would approach Amir and blackmail him into subscribing to their services, making him their first client. They would organize a surprise candlelight dinner for Sheryl in one of the meeting rooms. Amir would book a weekly check-in with her. This way, he would woo her and complete the dare to escape public humiliation.

The day of the weekly check-in arrives, and Amir is skittish because imagining a real date with Sheryl gives him butterflies as well as stress-induced nausea. He rushes to the washroom to puke and pull himself together; meanwhile, Hunny and Jerry complete the romantic decorations in the room. The room smelled of vanilla and saffron, in fact, a little too much of it. Sparkly little red hearts were hanging on the door, which looked rather tacky. Finally, the meeting roundtable had a big pink tablecloth spread over it, with multiple candles on the candle stand placed in the middle. There was a charcuterie board as well that had a big bunch of champagne grapes paired with a cheap bottle of wine, along with two big samosas. Lastly, the projector displayed the words “I love you” on the wall. The whole thing had a vibe of a Bollywood proposal scene.

Amir returns from the washroom still a little stressed about how the evening will play out. His phone beeps, and a message pops up: “The room is ready!” Amir rushes to room 304, only to find no candles or dinner. In fact, he found multiple files lying around. He pulled out his phone and called Hunny. He answers. Amir yells, “WHERE IS THE CANDLELIT DINNER THAT WE TALKED ABOUT?? THERE IS NOTHING IN ROOM 304!!”

“304? You asked us to decorate room 300”

“What? NO, not at all! That room was booked for another meeting, so I chose this one for our date.

“I don't know anything! You have created this mess; this is on you. And just so we’re on the same page, don't even think about asking for a refund,” said Hunny and hung up the phone.

Guarding the hallway leading up to room 300, Jerry was super happy that he would finally receive the appreciation that he truly deserved. It is not an easy job to always play a supporting role; today, he could truly feel the main character energy. However, one piece of the puzzle that was still missing was who this romantic setup was for; he was always well caught up on the gossip and didn’t know of any new couples in the house. He prided himself on being the unofficial director of college gossip intelligence. Guess this mystery was going to be solved soon.

Just then, he heard the sharp tick-tock, tick-tock of expensive shoes approaching the hallway. He squinted into the distance and immediately recognized the man.

Manjeet.

Not just his boss—everyone’s boss.

The principal, who was also the chairperson of the Board of Directors of the college, was a man in his 40s, street-smart, and held up an image of being kind and fair while secretly fueling toxic gossip culture in the college, like sprinkling Parmesan on pizza. And to Jerry’s surprise, he was not alone. Walking beside him was Neha.

It didn’t take Jerry a minute to put two and two together. It was confirmed that the principal was having an affair and that, too, with none other than the bitchy married woman. Now Jerry couldn't keep it in and had to tell someone- no, he had to tell everyone what was really going on in the college. It was his imperative duty to make this public service announcement. He knew what he had to do. He made an anonymous confession on the student confessions page and then, for maximum social impact, shared the link on the staff WhatsApp group.

The entire college descended into chaos- staff and students alike started gossiping about Manjeet and Neha. Lectures were abandoned. Attendance became optional. Students refreshed the confessions page every twelve seconds for the latest updates. Staff members who had not replied to messages since 2022 suddenly became active. Someone even started a poll titled “Who knew first?”

By lunchtime, Manjeet and Neha had become more discussed than exam results, parking fees, and the cafeteria samosas combined.

The next day, Manjeet called a full-fledged staff meeting and announced a “workplace ethics committee” to address workplace gossip and promote healthy discussions. The Human Resources Department enforced a “no dating policy” for the college staff. To do damage control after the gossip, and for their outstanding contribution to the college campus during a difficult week, Hunny and Jerry received recognition as ‘Employees of the Month’.