The Things We Do for Love

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

Flavia knew they had to leave. It was getting cold, and there was no more heat. The same as there had been no lights, no refrigeration, and no WIFI because there had been no electricity since spring. It was as if the world had been hurtled back into the dark ages. Without electricity they were cut off from the rest of the world, and only heard about what was happening in the world from travellers, or from those odd people who had CB radios. Information was scant and travellers were very few and far between. There was confusion and chaos.

Flavia had adapted to most of the changes. But there was no way she was going to be able to muscle her way through another winter. Last winter had been a test, but they had survived with intermittent power and multiple cords of firewood. But there was no way they would be able to make it this winter without heat and power. Not this far north. Winter was long and hard, with temperatures dropping to forty below, blizzards and ice storms hammering the frozen landscape.

She might have been able to pull it off alone, but she couldn’t—wouldn’t— chance Zelda’s life as well. They had to travel south. It was time. Their small group of survivors had group had decided it was the best option..

Flavia knew it was time to move when she awoke and saw frost covering every surface. Winter was on the horizon, and the warmth of a late fall was behind them. Only cold and danger lay ahead.

She made morning tea on the camp stove in the garage, and carried it back into the house, handing a cup to Zelda who was sitting in her chair, looking out the window.

“Gran,” Flavia started. “I’ve talked with the group,” she looked directly at her grandmother. “We decided that it’s time to make our way south. Soon. It’s getting too cold.”

Zelda continued to look out the window. This was going to be a hard conversation. She had lived in this house for over fifty years. Now Flavia was asking her to leave everything she knew and start over in an unstable, post-war world. “It’s too risky to stay here this winter. We talked about going south, caravan-style.” She smiled. “You know, safety in numbers, even if the numbers are only nine.” Flavia smiled.

Zelda looked at her granddaughter. She loved Flavia. She felt safe with her—Flavia had looked after her and protected her, without question through the darkest, most dangerous days of the war. She was Zelda’s rock. And that’s why Zelda had to tell her the truth.

“Flavia,” said Zelda, “I don’t think that I’m up for the trip south.”

Flavia looked at her grandmother. “Gran. We have to. Winter is coming and it’s too dangerous to stay here.”

Zelda looked at her granddaughter, and smiled. “You need to go. You need to be safe. But I’m not leaving.”

Flavia was stunned.. Her grandmother had always—always—been the strong one in their relationship. Always ready to meet the next problem head-on. Always supporting Flavia, making sure she was heard and loved. “What are you saying?” she whispered, disbelief in her voice. And, for the first time, fear.

Zelda smiled. “Sweetie, I’m old. My bones hurt.” She looked at Flavia closely. “And I’m sick. I’ve been sick for a while. I know that the end is just around the corner. I wouldn’t survive the trip south.”

Flavia’s mouth hung open. Sick? No! Her grandmother didn’t get sick. “No, Gran, don’t talk like that. We can ask Jordan. Maybe he can help.” Her grandmother smiled, saying nothing.

Jordan was part of their small group. He had been a second year resident at St. Bartholomew’s hospital when the wars started.

“Sweetheart, Jordan won’t be able to help me. Even before the wars, I was sick. I’ve known for years. I have Parkinson’s disease. I’m getting sicker, and I don’t have my drugs, so I’m getting sicker faster. This is going to be my last winter.”

“But Jordan—”

But Zelda knew she had already depleted Jordan’s cache of scavenged medicines. She knew he couldn’t help. “Jordan has already given me all the medicines that he could scrounge. There are just no more left.”

Flavia thought of her Gran’s mobility and balance issues. She’d—apparently wrongly—assumed it was old age, and stress. Who wouldn’t be stressed after surviving the wars? Hell, Flavia herself was a wreck most of the time.

“But, we can still travel south. Together. We can do this! We don’t have to move quickly. We can take our time. You can rest on the way.: She looked hopefully at her grandmother. “Maybe we’ll find more drugs.”

“Flavia, no. Parkinson’s disease is a death sentence. There is no cure. Only maintenance. My symptoms are getting worse. And I’m tired—so very tired. I don’t have the energy to travel.” She looked at her granddaughter who was openly crying. “Flavia, I’m ready to go.”

Flavia sat on the floor at her Gran’s feet, leaning against her legs. She felt that she was a child again. “But I don’t want you to go.” She huffed in a quavering voice, trying to control her crying. “You’re all I’ve got,” she whispered.

It was true. Zelda and Flavia were the sole survivors of their family. At least they thought they were. When the wars started, their family made a plan—rendezvous as Zelda’s house if things got dangerous. No one had showed up. Flavia figured there could be relatives out there, but the danger of travelling was just too risky. It was only Flavia and Zelda. And, now Zelda was telling Flavia that she must make the trip south alone, without her.

Flavia tried to convince Zelda that they could make it. It wasn’t like they had to walk. Their group had three “liberated” four-wheel drive vehicles that they were planning on using to travel south.

“All you have to do, Gran, is sit in the passenger seat, and enjoy the view,” said Flavia trying to convince her grandmother to make the trip. “We could maybe find more of the drugs you need.” She looked hopefully at Zelda. “It could work.”

Zelda had shaken her head. “No, Flavia, I can’t come. Not only would I be a burden to the rest of the group, but I’m not sure I would be able to physically make the journey.” She looked out the window at her backyard, at the empty bird feeder she hadn’t had the heart to take down. Taking it down, she believed, would be akin to surrendering to this war-scarred world she lived in. “Flavia, my joints are stiff. It hurts to swallow. I have no sense of balance. Most mornings I have to literally drag myself down the stairs to sit in my chair. Everyday is a struggle to survive. I don’t want the struggle anymore.“

*****

Jordan and Flavia sat beside Zelda’s bed. Flavia held her grandmother’s cool hands.

“You’re sure this is what you want?” asked Jordan.

Zelda smiled. “I’m sure. It’s for the best. And I’m ready..”

“Gran …” started Flavia, tears streaming down her face.

Zelda squeezed Flavia’s hand as hard as she could. She looked at her granddaughter, her own tears threatening to spill. “Sweet girl, I’ve lived a long, long life. It’s been a good life. I’ve lived through wars, seen man walk on the moon, remembered having a rotary dial phone.” She paused, smiling. “I’ve seen technology change the way we live our lives. I’ve seen its disruption and disappearance wreck havoc across a fractured world. I’ve met wonderful people, and others lacking in grace. I’ve outlived my husband and my children.” She reached over and brought her hand to Flavia’s face, gently wiping her tears away. “Everyone but you.” She took a deep breath, leaning forward to make eye contact with her granddaughter. “I love you so much. You are my heart. I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to be happy that I’m no longer suffering.”

Flavia sobbed. “Gran …”

Zelda continued. “You are my brave girl. You need to go forth and try to rebuild this broken world. You have the strength, the knowledge, and the heart to make a difference in the lives of others. I know you do, because you have made such a difference—the best difference—in my life.”

The three of them sat in silence, the only sounds Flavia’s sniffling. Zelda listened to the chirping of the birds in her backyard.

Finally, Zelda looked from the window in her bedroom to Jordan. “It’s time,” she said.

Flavia heaved a great shuddering gasp. “Gran … I love you. But I know you need to go.” She stood up and gently hugged her grandmother for the last time. “I will miss you so much,” she whispered into her grandmother’s ear. “So very, very much.”

Jordan injected the syringe into the IV bag attached to Zelda’s arm.

Flavia continued to hold her grandmother gently.

She heard her sigh and felt her relax.

Her breathing slowed. Then it stopped.

Zelda was gone.