Grotesquerie

CW: violence/gore, light implied sexual content, dissection

“It’s alive!”

The exclamation springs from my lips not as a cry, but as a disbelieving gasp. My creation is stretched on a flat black lava rock, bound in restraints, his mismatched limbs twitching faintly in the fiery light of the lava tubes. I could almost mistake the movements for the ebb and flow of the ocean current, but they’re too deliberate. I swim closer, my eight mottled tentacles anchoring me to the ocean floor as I crouch at my creation’s side. The grotto in which I’ve set up my lab provides some shelter, but a storm rages above and the sea is restless tonight.

I place one finger in my creation’s palm, and pure delight courses through me as his fingers tighten reflexively around it. That hand I scavenged from a drowned corpse. A young male, I remember, who’d struck his head on a rock while surfing. I look at the rest of my creation’s body, a patchwork of skin and muscle tones, cataloging. 

The leg I found in the aftermath of a ship collision. 

The foot of a rare shark attack victim. 

An arm from a swimmer who overestimated his ability to fight the ocean’s current.

And various other parts whose owners would likely still be alive had they not had the misfortune to encounter me. 

I feel no guilt for them, as their sacrifice brought forth my wondrous creation. 

His gills flare in and out with the current, functional by all appearances. Excellent. Stitching together a new human and bringing it to life was one thing, but adding a respiratory system that would allow him to breathe underwater was quite another. I spent months pouring over every anatomy text I could find on humans, fish, and merfolk, trying to decipher the right blend of structure, circulation, and innervation to allow for respiration. But given that he hasn’t asphyxiated in his first few minutes of life, it appears I’ve been successful. 

Time to see if he’s conscious. I tap him gently on the chest, expecting a delayed reaction or none at all. So I’m startled when his sky blue eyes fly open, meeting my own with a flare of panic. My creation lets out a low moan and begins struggling against his restraints, “No!” I cry, putting both hands on his shoulders, “Stop! You'll damage yourself!”

Either he understands me or the brief struggle weakens him, because he stops almost immediately. He looks at me again, and I search his gaze. I’m uncertain how many human memories have persisted in his reanimated state. Does he remember me as the murderer of his past selves? Is our relationship to be clouded by hatred and fear on the day of its initiation?

But his eyes are devoid of any emotion besides gentle curiosity. He studies me, and then shifts his attention to the grotto lab. Like his slab the walls are made of black lava rock, largely enclosed aside from the entrance and a few cracks in the ceiling for ventilation. Tubes of glowing red lava snake down the walls, providing the power I needed to bring my creation to life. Bioluminescent algae casts a bluish glow in the water around them, illuminating the dark spaces where the lava doesn’t reach. Its light flickers on recessed shelves packed with jars of human hearts, eyes, hair, and cross-sections of muscle and other tissue. Anatomy tomes are scattered throughout the space, pages open to diagrams of everything from the human brain to mermaid tails. My dissection tools, including a scalpel, chisel, and sea urchin spines, are laid out clean and shining on the lowest shelf. 

My creation takes it all in calmly, and then looks back at me again. I feel an unexpected pulse of love at the innocence I see. Is this how a mother feels, I wonder, when her newborn first hatches from their egg? When they take their first look at the world, then look to her for guidance through it? I’ll never know. I’ve never so much as kissed another, and after tonight’s success the chances of me ever doing so have plummeted substantially. But I can’t imagine motherhood feeling any different than I do now.

There’s a shift in the current, and I look up to see a large snout poking curiously into the lab. Now my creation’s eyes do fill with fear, some residual memory connecting our visitor to the word shark, “It’s okay!” I hurry to console, “That’s only Niuhi! She’s a friend!”

Our friendship is largely based on the fact that Niuhi is one of only two entities that considers me always having spare human parts lying around an asset, not a detriment, but my creation doesn’t need to know that. The Tiger Shark eases her bulk into the confines of the lab, greeting me with a bump of her snout. I stroke the side of her face, noting from her lashing tail that she’s agitated. I briefly wonder why, but I quickly forget my worry as I watch my creation take her in for the first time. I undo his bonds, helping him sit up, and I stroke Niuhi’s striped flank. After a moment, my creation does the same. She bumps his chest gently. Wonder fills his gaze, and after a moment he smiles. A stronger surge of love washes over me.

“Knock, knock.”

Our second visitor’s silken voice slices into the moment like a scalpel through waterlogged flesh. Dread swallows my love, traveling down my spinal column and all the way through the diverging nerves of my arms and tentacles. I murmur a quick prayer to Pele, then plaster on a bright smile and turn to face her.

“Your Majesty! What an honor! I didn’t expect a visit so late!”

“I couldn’t wait,” Princess Kehlani trills, swimming into the grotto. She carries a golden trident inlaid with black coral and mother-of-pearl, which she uses to casually jab Niuhi out of the way. I wince as my shark swiftly retreats outside, but I don’t dare protest. Instead I swim in front of my creation, meeting Kehlani with a deep bow.

The youngest daughter of our king, Kehlani is a celebrated beauty among merfolk for hundreds of leagues. Fiery red hair forms a voluminous cloud around her head, held only partly in place by a pearl tiara. Her milky skin is smooth and unblemished, the white shells on her chest are edged with gold, and her long, elegant tail is the pink-striped aqua of a Stareye Parrotfish. Next to her, I feel positively homely with my coconut-husk hued skin, dark unruly hair, cheap speckled shells, and the mottled cream and brown tentacles of a Day Octopus. Kehlani clearly shares my opinion, looking down her nose at me like a troublesome barnacle she can’t scrape off. When she speaks, however, her voice is smooth and lilting, “You’ve been successful, I see.”

“Yes,” I move aside, letting her view my creation in his entirety for the first time, “Your patronage was most helpful.”

“Mmm,” Kehlani swims around him, taking in the view from every angle. He tracks her curiously with his eyes, then looks at me questioningly. I give him a small shake of my head, holding my breath as I wait for Kehlani’s assessment.

“He’s perfect. Thank you.”

Water rushes from my gills in a gasp before I can stifle my relief. I bow again, “Of course, Your Majesty. It was my pleasure to bring him to life for you.”

Kehlani gives a toothy, predatory smile, stroking my creation’s arm, “I can’t begin to imagine the fun we’ll have together.”

Her tone freezes me, as does the possessive, intimate nature of the gesture. I fight the sudden urge to put myself between her and my creation, “Fun? I, ah, never imagined life as a servant would be fun.”

“No?” Kehlani eyes me, reveling in my bafflement.

“It’s simply a rather mundane existence,” I’m stammering now, “Cleaning, cooking, washing laundry…”

Kehlani gives a light, melodious laugh that carries a hint of mockery, “I already have a host of servants to do that. Why would I want a human to do my cleaning?”

“You, ah…” My mouth has somehow gone dry, even underwater, “You spoke of a fascination with humans? A dream of having one to serve you?”

“I’m deeply fascinated. And he will serve me,” She purrs, stroking my creation’s chest. He tenses, and I have to fight not to force her off of him, “You know, for someone so immersed in biology, I’m surprised I have to spell this out for you. I would have thought it was obvious.”

I quietly curse my romance-devoid past, “I’m apologize, I-”

Then another sound interrupts our exchange, followed swiftly by more. Voices, raised in fear and anger. I realize that Kehlani isn’t what had Niuhi spooked earlier.

No, the mob was to blame for that.

Fear grips me as everything becomes clear in an instant, though my voice stays steady when I speak, “I trust you’re to blame for that?”

“Of course,” Kehlani studies her perfect nails, nonchalant, “It didn’t take much to excite their fury. A few rumors about a sea witch-”

“Scientist,” I correct sharply.

“Witch dissecting humans and piecing them together put them in quite the bloodthirsty frenzy. And after they kill you, what will they find? A nightmare of a lab with a human who can breathe underwater. An abomination. A monster.”

“No,” I breathe out. 

“But their perfect princess won’t let them hurt that monster. He didn’t ask to be created, she’ll say. He deserves their compassion and understanding, not their judgement. She’ll offer him protection. Sanctuary. And as the people sigh at her generosity and goodness, they’ll never wonder about his fate again. Or ask why he was created in the first place.”

I tremble, panic rising in me like bubbles ready to burst. Outside, the sounds of the mob are growing closer. Sounds carry farther underwater than they do in air, but I still know I don’t have long, “You…you can’t. You said you valued my work.”

“Oh, I do, dearest Momi,” Kehlani turns to leave, “But let’s just say I have no interest in becoming a repeat customer.”

Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m blocking the grotto’s entrance, “No.”

She stops short, pulling to her full, regal height, “No?”

“I won’t let you.”

Her grip tightens on her trident, “You don’t get to threaten me, little witch. But after what you’ve done for me, I’ll give you one warning. Move aside.”

My resolve crumbles like a sand sculpture under the heat of her scorching gaze. I fold in on myself, meekly moving out of the entrance, “Better,” She croons, “Maybe I can give you a merciful-”

I spray the entire grotto with black ink.

It’s a cowardly move. Costly too. It’ll take my body days to replenish the ink, and I’ll be vulnerable in the meantime. But I’m out of options, and somehow I doubt I’m going to live long enough for that to be a problem.

I dodge past Kehlani, who’s shrieking in disgust and fury. I fumble in the inky water, hands scraping raw against the coarse lava rock, searching. My fingers close on the whale leather strap just as Niuhi bursts into the grotto, jaws snapping. Ink is a sure sign that I’m in trouble, and she’s come to protect me in spite of her fear of Kehlani’s trident. She crashes into the back wall, unable to see, and her thrashing tail smashes open jars, rips pages from books, and sends bones tumbling to the floor, “Niuhi!” I shout. She’s at my side in the instant, and I slip the bridle into her mouth and quickly loop the reins over her dorsal fin.

A hand lunges from the murky water to grab hold of my arm. I flinch backward with a startled cry, but it’s not Kehlani. Instead, I meet the frantic blue eyes of my creation. He clings to me with all the desperate fear and confusion of a child, unable to process what’s happening and clutching at the only lifeline he has. 

I put my hand on his cheek, squeezing his hand with my own, “I’m sorry,” I murmur, “This is the best I can do. You…you deserve better.”

He doesn’t comprehend what I mean until I guide his hands to the reins on Niuhi’s back, “Don’t let go,” I instruct fiercely, “No matter what.”

When I’m satisfied that his grip is secure, I slap Niuhi’s flank and shout, “Away!”

Her training takes over, and she lunges out of the grotto with a few strokes of her powerful tail. My creation gives a wail as he’s pulled from me, and he looks back with a terrified expression. I see one hand leave the reins as he reaches back for me, “Don’t let go!” I scream. He grips the reins again, facing forward, and he and Niuhi swiftly vanish into the night.

I hear a scream behind me, and I barely register the golden trident erupting from a cloud of ink before I’m impaled on it. I screech as Kehlani drives me forward into the grotto wall, trident buried so deep in my back that I hear the prongs scraping against the rock as they emerge from my chest. Then she jerks the trident out and lets me fall to the grotto floor, limp in a puddle of tentacles, “Well, you’ve certainly complicated my perfect cover story,” She snarls.

I cough out a mouthful of dark blue blood, fumbling. The ruins of my lab are scattered around me, and there has to be something I can use as a weapon. But my grasping fingers only close on paper or the soft flesh of organs. Outside, I can hear distinct, individual voices as the mob draws closer.

“Let’s see,” Kehlani straightens her tiara. The water is clearing, and I can see glass in her hair and scrapes all over her body from the chaos, “Maybe I just couldn’t stand the thought of a witch existing in my kingdom. I simply had to confront her, heedless of the personal risk. I tried to get her to surrender peacefully, but she attacked me and I had to defend myself with my trident.”

I feel a sharp edge against one of my tentacles, and I let out a strangled gurgle as I realize what it is.

My scalpel.

“But the witch sent away a monster before I could stop her,” Kehlani continues, combing out a few of the larger pieces of glass from her hair, “And we cannot let a monster run loose in our kingdom. We must find him.”

My fingers close on the familiar blade, my best friend of hundreds of dissections.

“I think that’ll do quite nicely,” Kahlani smiles, calm and in control again. She looms over me, “And if that story doesn’t appease them, I can always find another. Rest assured, Momi. I’ll hunt that human down if it takes my father’s entire army to do it.”

I know she will. But there’s no other witnesses to what’s happened here tonight. That means if she’s gone, there will be no one to look for my creation. 

I force myself up on one elbow, choking on another blue mouthful of blood, before I beckon her closer, “What’s that?” She croons mockingly, “You have some last words for me?”

I nod. I don’t, really, given that I’m fairly certain she’s collapsed at least one of my lungs. But I need her close. She leans in, smirking, “Tell me, then. Tell me how you’ve lost-”

I slash the side of her neck with the scalpel.

She reels back with a scream that quickly devolves into a choking fit. Blue blood pours from the wound, and I know I’ve hit my target. 

Even an amateur anatomist could sever the jugular vein.

I collapse back in the wake of her weakening screams. My own life has minutes left, and I spend most of them listening to her expire. I can see flickers of algae torches on the grotto’s walls by the time she finally goes silent, the mob arriving without a hope of saving her. 

I close my eyes as their shouts of dismay and grief echo off the walls of my ruined lab. My own consciousness ebbing, I spend my final thoughts on my creation and Niuhi. Tiger sharks are nomadic, and with luck Niuhi can find a place where my creation will be accepted. I send one final prayer to Pele for his safety and happiness. 

It’s the last gift I can give him.