AS IF

AS IF

Elyse and her three friends were sipping lattes outside the coffee shop, enjoying the summer breeze and talking about new apps on their phones. That’s the sort of thing 16-year-old girls do on a summer afternoon in downtown Cleveland.

Terri was always the dominant one in every conversation. She was also undoubtedly the smartest among them. She was almost on the Honor Roll last year and was going to make it their junior year.

Tanya almost always agreed with Terri on everything. Elyse guessed that was because she knew Terri was smarter than her. She was insecure about her looks. Though she was thin, Tanya continuously complained she was fat. She wore too much makeup, Elyse thought.

Then there was Blue. Her real name was Margarite, but it was decided soon after she started hanging out with the girls, they’d call her Blue. Elyse couldn’t remember whose idea the name was and had almost forgotten her real name. Blue was Puerto Rican. Nobody knew if she was even a legal citizen, but they accepted her. Terri did sometimes show signs of considering Blue less important than the other girls, an attitude Elyse despised. She really liked Blue. Maybe more than she liked Terri.

Elyse was the listener. To the group she seemed quiet, maybe disinterested. But she listened and thought about what her friends said and did. She would usually speak only when she felt she had something worthwhile to add.

Blue was showing the girls an app she’d discovered where you could change your face and voice in any way you wanted. She was excited about it, and the other girls were enthusiastic as well. They laughed and talked about the fun ideas they had. These friends never had serious discussions.

Suddenly, from the corner of her eye at first, Elyse spotted a girl walking on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. She stood out from everyone else on the street, though Elyse wasn’t sure why. She watched her.

The girl walked slowly, looking up from her phone occasionally to ensure she wouldn’t bump into someone. Her hair looked strawberry-blonde, though in the bright sunlight and the distance it was a little hard to be sure. That was the same color as Elyse’s hair.

Her eyes widened. She recognized the walk, the figure, the shape of the girl’s face. She looked exactly like Elyse. She removed her sunglasses and wiped her eyes, to make sure her vision was clear. The girl had stopped at the crosswalk and was about to pass to the other side of the intersecting street. Elyse had to turn her head back to get a final good look. Yes. She was sure. The girl looked exactly like her.

“Hey-ey. Earth to Elyse! Are you with us?” Terri waved her hand in front of Elyse’s face.

“I’m sorry. I just saw something” Elyse apologized shaking her head.

“Whajya see?” Blue asked.

Elyse hesitated. These were her best friends. What would they say if she told them what she had seen?

Terri pressed, “Yes. What did you see that was so important?”

These were her best friends. If she couldn’t trust them, who could she trust? “I- I just saw… on the other side of Euclid, a girl walking. And… she looked exactly like me.”

They all stared blankly at Elyse. Then they turned and stared blankly at each other.

“What? You mean you saw a girl wearing your outfit?” Tanya tried to understand.

Elyse shook her head. “No. I’m saying she looked exactly like me.” She waved her hand over her head and body to demonstrate.

The conversation was interrupted by the young, probably 18 or 19, waiter bringing their food. Three of them had ordered a special burger and fries, except Tanya. She wasn’t going to order anything. Elyse had insisted. She assumed Tanya didn’t have enough money for food. The lattes weren’t cheap. She offered to buy Tanya something. Finally, it was Terri that convinced Tanya to get at least a sandwich.

The waiter especially noticed Blue. Guys always noticed her. She reciprocated with a flirtatious smile. Her dark hair and eyes were striking, but it was always her perfect ample breasts that captivated them.

Terri and Blue dug right into their food as if they hadn’t eaten in months. Elyse watched, wondering if either even remembered the conversation before the food arrived.

But her attention turned to her friend Tanya. While the others had gotten burgers and fries, Tanya reluctantly had a tuna and cheese sandwich on wheat bread. She picked at her sandwich in a disinterested manner. Elyse realized she had never really paid attention to Tanya like this when they were eating before. The girl was pale. Had she been pale before? How long?

“You should eat. You didn’t get much. Want some of my fries?” Terri offered Tanya.

Tanya declined and picked up half of her sandwich. She ate, it seemed, because she didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that she wasn’t eating.

“So… What were we talking about?” Terri, as always, initiated the conversation while they ate. Elyse noticed Tanya’s relief the attention was off her and she didn’t have to eat the other half of her sandwich.

“We were talking about the fact that I just saw a girl walking on the other side of the street who looks exactly like me.”

Terri nodded. “Uh-huh. How do you know?”

“How do I know what? I saw her!” Elyse was agitated by Terri’s question and her attitude already.

Tanya chimed in, as always on Terri’s bandwagon, “Yeah there’s a lotta people over there. You just happened to spot this girl outta the crowd?”

“She just caught my eye.” Elyse felt defensive. Sad she’d feel like that with her best friends. Blue was quiet. She was listening but not speaking, unusual for her.

“Where’d she go?” Tanya looked across the street.

Elyse felt Tanya was mocking her. She answered, “Down Euclid, crossed at the crosswalk, and turned onto East 9th. Then she was gone.”

“I believe her.” Blue finally spoke up.

“Be quiet Blue” Terri rudely dismissed Blue as if she wasn’t involved in the conversation.

Tanya took a bite from the other half of her sandwich, and then immediately announced, “I gotta go to the bathroom.” She stood and went inside,

Something about Tanya’s behavior didn’t feel right to Elyse. “I think I need to go too.” She left the table.

She heard Tanya vomiting in a commode in the furthest stall. “Tanya, are you okay?” Elyse called.

Tanya stopped heaving. “E- Elyse… What- Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” She flushed and came out of the stall. Elyse followed her to the sink.

“Tanya, you know I’m your friend. You can tell me anything. Do you have cancer?”

Tanya shook her head. Tears started to form in her eyes.

“Are you bulimic?” Elyse asked.

“I don’t think so. I don’t binge eat. I’m not sure what I am.” Tanya cupped water in her hand and used it to rinse her mouth, then washed her face. She touched-up her makeup, steeled herself, and said to Elyse, “You’re my best friend. I hope I can trust you with my little secret.”

Elyse clutched her friend’s arm. “Tanya, you need to get help with this. I am your friend. I’ll be there with you. But please promise me you’ll get help,”

“I promise.”

And with that, the girls returned to the table outside. Terri and Blue were arguing about the concept of a doppelgänger. Blue believed in it and believed Elyse had just seen hers. Terri dismissed the whole idea as superstition.

As Elyse and Tanya and Elyse sat down, Terri wasted no time, “Elyse, its clear that what you think you saw when you looked at this girl across the street was your imagination.”

“Guys I saw what I saw!” Elyse insisted.

Tanya interjected, as always, falling in line with Terri,”yeah. Maybe sometimes you see things and there not really what you think they are.” Maybe there was more in her statement than just attacking Elyse.

“I need you guys to believe me. I need you guys to help me find her.”

“How do we do that?” Blue was curious.

“I’m not sure. Tanya, you’re the only one with a cat and a license. I think I know where she might be going. Can you take us there?” Elyse was begging her friends, but especially the one with the secret she shared.

“Well, I’m sorry Elyse but I’m not going. My mom wants me home for something she said was important. I’ll Uber.” Terri begged out. No real surprise.

Blue looked sad. She was honest about her feelings, so if she looked sad, she was sad. “You know I believe you honey and I would go. But my brother’s picking me up here in 15 minutes for his baseball game. I’m so sorry. I hope you find her and get to talk.”

“Well, that leaves you and me Tanya. If you can’t drive me I’ll walk. Its just down 9th street.”

With that, they paid their bills and hugged, said their “bye’s”, “text me’s”, and “see ya Friday’s”, and parted.

Tanya looked at Elyse with hesitation. “Where are we going?”

“She was dressed high-fashion. I just know she was on her way down to Xhibition.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

They arrived in just twenty minutes. Elyse took a deep breath. “Tanya, just drop me off and go on home. I need to do this alone. I’ll call Mom for a ride. She gets off work in an hour. Thanks for bringing me here. You are a loyal friend.”

A couple of men looked strangely at Elyse as they exited the store and she entered. They looked like models, and she did not. Once inside, she was keenly aware that she like an alien in this environment. She walked to a bag display, greeted by a man, “Are you sure you’re in the right place ma’am?”

“Yes. I’m shopping for a gift for a special friend. I’m interested in the Gucci handbags. How much are they?” Elyse bluffed.

“Well, you chose the right time to shop for Gucci. They are on an exclusive sale.” He reached behind the counter and produced an exquisite blue handbag. “This treasure is now only 950 dollars.”

“Ooookaay…” Elyse tried to show no reaction. “How much would- say a medium priced bag?”

“Perhaps around 1200 dollars. We do have financing.”

Suddenly Elyse saw the girl walking toward the exit. “I’m going to shop around some more.” She left and followed the girl quickly.

Elyse caught up. “Excuse me! Excuse me please!” She almost had to yell to make her realize Elyse was talking to her. When she had the girl’s attention, she was keenly aware of how awkward this conversation was going to be.

“Look, you don’t know me, and well, I don’t really know you either. My name is Elyse” she was nervously talking rapidly. “But… You and I – you look exactly like me and I look exactly like you.”

The girl laughed. “As if! You wish you looked like me.” She struck a pose. “I’m the girl boys dream and drool over. I’m the one magazines and runways beg for. I mean, you’re kinda pretty, in a simple sort of way, but you’re not me.”

“I’m not wrong. We are identical.”

“Look at me. Fashion head to toe. If we were identical, wouldn’t you have style like me?” The girl challenged. She wore at least 6 inch sparkling black platform above-the-knee boots, black fishnet stockings, a black mini-skirt, an off-the-shoulders shiny black sweater, way-too-much makeup, and an electric pink chop-cut wig. This was the model look.

“I might dress like it if I could afford it”

“So I’m clearly smarter than you. Look. I’m thinner than you. I have perfect breasts. They are larger than yours.” The girl stated her case with confidence.

Elyse snatched the wig from the girl’s head to reveal the exact same strawberry blonde hair as Elyse. “Come on. I’ll prove it to you.” She grasped the girl by the arm and pulled her back toward the store.

“What are you doing? I’ll call the police. This is assault!” The girl threatened.

“This place is full of mirrors. Even with all that makeup you’re wearing, you’ll see we look the same.”

They found a full-length mirror. Elyse pulled the girl next to her. “Now you’ll see –“

Suddenly Elyse stared in the mirror, in shock. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t move. The reflection showed only Elyse standing alone, holding an electric pink chop-cut wig.