Birthday By The Bay

Fifty…half a century…the age that a man has probably seen it all, done it all, lived through it all – an age of accomplishment. Their was a time in my life when I wondered if I would make it to fifty or even wanted to live that long.

I pondered that question and this nice even number, sitting on a wooden chair overlooking the bay, with a small glass of smoked maple bourbon, a Churchill cigar, and the sun setting on this seventy-degree weather day, and a rolodex of memories. This day was the day I turned fifty.

For whatever reason, the good Lord had allowed me to make it this far. Making no mistake, I questioned many mornings why I was still waking up. The gauntlet of life altering set backs had corrupted my will to live some days and my faith in the Lord. One man shouldn’t go through what I had gone through. It was not fair. It was not just. But it was forgotten to me that I also played a part in these hardships. A large fallibility in humans is we love to play victim and blame those around us, yet not look into the mirror and ask that reflection what part did you play in all this?

I took a large puff of my Churchill and a little nip of whiskey and wondered what my mother and grandma would say to me that I turned fifty years old. They passed years ago and were the most influential adults in my life. Another nip of whiskey down the hatch, then a meek amount of emotion crept to the surface, because I missed my mother and grandmother. They weren’t here to make that birthday call or wish me a happy birthday. Old age and cancer took that joy from me.

I reflected about my time in the Air Force. I joined when I wasn’t even old enough to rent a car, and barely old enough to drink alcohol legally. When I raised my right hand, I had no plans of going the distance. It was a four year, serve out my contract, then bounce, type of plan. It turned into a twenty-three-year plan, retirement status with a life-long membership to the VA. I was proud to spend the most vital and energetic adults years globetrotting and creating memories that’ll take to the grave.

As I poured another glass of bourbon, a couple walked by with their dog. Their friendly companion must have picked up the scent of my Churchill and walked over to my feet. I petted the friendly pooch and gave a greeting to the cute couple. The man asked what I was drinking, and I told him birthday bourbon. They gave me my congratulations and continued on their walk, hand in hand. I yearned for that someday, so I admired their joy from a far.

My partner was the Air Force, and she demanded complete loyalty. But it was a union I was all in for and gave her what she demanded willingly. When I get asked why I hadn’t settled down yet, I tell those busybodies the right one hadn’t shown up yet to give up all this freedom. I mean…come on…I’m drinking good bourbon, smoking a cigar, and watching God’s light source slowly go down for the day.

But to all seriousness, now that I crossed over to AARP status in life, a good woman would be a nice additive.

I directed my attention towards this gazebo and fire pit built underneath it and noticed a young man sitting on a wooden chair like my own. Except he didn’t look like he was in a peaceful reflective state like me. He had his hands in his face, then leaned back and despair was written all over it. Heaviness filled his entire body. The weight of whatever he battled right there could not be hidden. I felt this person. I’ve been this person.

I turned back towards the bay and took another puff of my cigar, but I couldn’t stop peeking over at him. I felt for him. My curiosity overran my present peace. I decided it was my duty as a man, a Christian, and a good person to check on my fellow human.

I picked up my whiskey and belongings and walked towards him. He didn’t even notice me walking his way. I had to say hello for him to be taken out of whatever trance he was in.

“How ya doing?” I asked.

“Um…good.”

“You sure? Don’t look like it.”

“Yea. I’m fine.”

“You look like you got some shit going on up top.”

“Guess I got a few things.”

“It’s my birthday. Join me for a drink.”

I pulled out the bottle of bourbon and sat down next to him.

“I don’t have a glass.”

“I do. Here.”

I handed him my glass; poured him about half way up.

“Thanks.”

“What’s your name?”

“Eddie.”

“I’m Stephen. Nice to meet ya, Eddie.”

“Happy birthday. How old?’

“The big 5-0.”

“Don’t look it at all.”

“Take my skin care routine seriously. But enough about me, what’s troubling ya?”

“I just met ya. I don’t want to tell you my bullshit on your birthday.”

“Bullshit. I offered. Let me hear it.”

Eddie twirled the glass a few times in hesitation.

“Come on, I love to hear about other peoples problems. I get sick of thinking of mine,” I said.

“My wife asked…for a divorce last week. Just out of the blue.”

“Sure there weren’t any signs?”

“Nothing I can recall. Guess working a lot hasn’t helped.”

“Does she work?”

“Yea.”

“Do you think their might be someone else?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Did you ask her?”

“Yea. She said no. But I could tell she was lying.”

“Anybody at her job?”

“She said he’s just a coworker. I don’t like it, but it’s her job.”

“You have every right to not like it. It’s a boundary thing.”

“I told her that. She said I was overreacting and being jealous.”

“She’s wrong. Don’t forget you have a part in this marriage and your feelings matter too.”

“I know.”

“Any bad thoughts running through ya?”

He got silent after I asked that question. He took a sip of bourbon, then stared out at the bay. He was fighting back tears really hard. I’m sure his pride was feeling damaged at that moment. Eddie sniffed a few times, then consumed all the bourbon he had left.

“You think I could get another glass?”

“Sure thing.”

I poured the young lad another round.

“Thanks…honestly, I get these dark thoughts I didn’t want to wake up in the morning.”

I took a beat, then a swig of bourbon out of the bottle, since I didn’t have another glass.

“I’ve been there before.”

“You have?”

“Oh yea. Called suicidal ideations. I was in a bad place in life. Ironically, had to do with a woman. She got me really messed up in the head.”

“It scares me. I’ve never felt this way before, till my wife asked for a divorce. My mind’s all fucked up too. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. But here’s my advice. If your wife wants a divorce, you got two choices. Give it to her or fight it. But takes two to have a fight. Then ask yourself how long you wanna fight. If she doesn’t love you anymore, or someone else is in the picture, then what are you fighting for? But no matter how bad it gets, how dark you go, or how angry you become…know it’ll get better. It’ll pass. Let me ask ya something personal. You a believer?”

“I am. Just haven’t talked to him awhile.”

“Perfect time to start now. He’ll get ya through this. Just have to let him. No matter what the outcome is. Live to fight another day. Your wife isn’t going to break you. Control what you can and give the rest to the Lord. Ya hear?”

Just as I finished my advice, Eddie’s phone rang.

“It’s the wife. Shit. I’m nervous.”

“Remember…control what you can, then give the rest to him.”

“Thanks’ for the advice, and the drink.”

We shook hands. He walked away, answering the phone. I never found out what happened to him and his wife.

The lovely couple from earlier walked by again and gave another friendly pet for their pooch. This lad who was hand and hand with his lady friend sure hit the jackpot. He must have been doing something right because she was a looker.

The sun had set into the water and was reflecting off the small amount of clouds that were left. A colorful mixture of reds, yellows, and blues grandstanded the sky. A sight to be seen for sure. It was as if God said “here ya go birthday boy, enjoy. This one’s for you.” I stood up and took a few hits of my Churchill and blew that smoke out admiring this colorful view. The sun may have set on my birthday, but the day was still going.

Five birds flew from my right to my left coordinated, then out of the picture. The beauty that is the avian species defies how we as humans understand movement. Those feathered creatures knew no bounds, and wondered where they were going. I sat back down and took a sip of bourbon.

Behind me was the apartment complex that I lived at. I heard a fast-moving car screech into a parking spot, then a man and a woman getting out the car, going at it like cats and dogs. They decided to give the public a private showing of their current disagreement. This showing was rated R. F-bombs were thrown at each other like grenades from trenches in war. A few other folks who were enjoying the sunset with me, turned behind them, and caught a preview themselves. It was obvious this young couple lacked self-awareness and couldn’t get a clue, that maybe it was wise to take this into their home. I’ll be honest, they were kind of a buzz kill. Listening to them brought back memories of my own squabbles with the ex’s. After a few minutes they left us folks in peace.

Listening to that was a juxtaposition to my thoughts earlier when I saw the nice couple with the dog walk by. That bickering couple was the ying to the yang of relationships. The night to the day. Oil to water. I didn’t miss that all. I hated to argue because I’m a very rational and outspoken person, and women usually don’t take honesty and accountability consistently. The earlier couple may have been in relationship bliss – or looked that way, but who knows what happened yesterday. I guess with everything in life, ya have to take the good with the bad. Right now, I had the good. Just me, myself and I, and this gorgeous view. I had a sense of gratitude overcome me at that moment.

Across the bay was the restaurant Whiskey Joe’s. It had a beach bar and music playing. The establishment was picking up steam for the day and started to entice me. They have excellent happy hour specials and a splendid view of the bay as well. The parking lot is a death trap though, so I always walked there. Since the sun was set, and my cigar was almost gone, and a nice buzz going, I figured why not end the day with a delicious meal, some friendly bar patrons and if lucky, free birthday drinks. Then…she showed up.

Just as I was about to stand up, this gorgeous brunette, about five foot two, curves in all the right places, wearing dark rimmed glasses, walks up to the bay, standing about twenty feet away from me. She stopped forward movement for me to catch a few more glances. She gave me a smile and I returned it back. Shit, now what do I do? I took one last look at the bay and summoned liquid courage to walk towards her in a nonchalant way. I had to shoot my shot, as the kids say. It’s my birthday.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hi.”

“Great view, hey?”

“Love it. I come here almost daily to see this.”

“What building do you live in?”

“Building ten. Right over there.”

“I’m in six. My place is right there.”

She turned towards my building.

“You get to see this from your place?”

“If I want to.”

“What made you come down today?”

“Today’s my birthday, so I figured I change it up a bit.”

“Oh my God. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

“My name is Angelina.”

“I’m Stephen. Nice to meet you.”

“Same here. What’s in the little bag?”

“Uh…maple flavored bourbon. Want some?”

“I love bourbon. But I don’t have a glass.”

“Tell ya what, why don’t we go sit on my deck, if you’re up for it. Consider it a neighborly, and I got plenty of glasses.”

She looked back at my place, contemplated for a few seconds.

“You don’t have anybody waiting for ya?” I asked.

She smiled.

“Nope. Just my cat.”

“I like cats. Dogs too. Just don’t own any.”

“How come?”

“I traveled a lot for my job…or used to.”

“What was your job?”

“Military. Combat Camera. Retired last year.”

“Wow. That sounds like a really interesting job. Didn’t know it even existed in the military. And thanks for your service. My dad was a lifer too. Brother served four in the navy.”

“What service was your dad in?’

“Air Force.”

“Same.”

“We seem to have a few things in common.”

“It would seem so.”

“And of all the days to meet.”

“The good Lord was smiling down on me today.”

“I guess so.”

She started to walk the way she came. I stood there confused. Then she stopped and turned towards me.

“I thought you offered me some bourbon?”

“Right. You were just leading the way.”

I walked up to join her, towards my place.

“Hey, did you hear that couple fighting about five minutes ago?” she asked.

“Oh yea. Take that shit inside.”

“Idiots. Get some self-awareness.”

“My thoughts exactly.

“So how has your birthday been so far?”

“Pretty damn good. And just got better.”

“Aren’t you the sweet talker.”